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Thread: where do we belong

  1. #1
    curious member crossdrezzer1's Avatar
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    where do we belong

    just as the title states,,, in this world, where do we belong and go out,,, in public we are frowned upon and in gay bars we are not gay so where do we belong,,, just inside? that seems wrong,, why cant we just be us and no one should care wouldnt you think?
    Only friends can call me Amy,,, so if your reading this your a friend.

    The Band QUEEN Quote " I want to be free"

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by crossdrezzer1 View Post
    just as the title states,,, in this world, where do we belong and go out,,, in public we are frowned upon and in gay bars we are not gay so where do we belong,,, just inside? that seems wrong,, why cant we just be us and no one should care wouldnt you think?
    It is unfortunate that the world is so close minded and clique'y, and it's probably always going to be that way. I'm just fortunate that communities like this exist on the 'net.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    It would be nice if we could just be ourselves but it ain't happening yet hun.
    Angie

  4. #4
    Big Sister Nicki B's Avatar
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    We belong wherever we think we should?


    What a sad, self-limiting notion that the answer should be anything else..

    (Just back home from a straight pub - but sober, as I was driving.)
    Nicki

    [SIZE="1"]Moi?[/SIZE]

  5. #5
    a guy in a skirt KimberlyS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crossdrezzer1 View Post
    ....in public we are frowned upon and in gay bars we are not gay......... why cant we just be us and no one should care wouldnt you think?
    Well most of my out and about CDing is in the general public and I would not say I am frowned upon. But yea I get some surprised looks when they make me. Can not blame them I would be surprised also seeing a feminine image and then suddenly seeing the maleness come through.

    IMHO and experience, how others accept and tolerate us starts with us. If you go out with the attitude you will be frowned upon, that is what you get. I go out with the attitude that it is ok what I am doing. And I get acceptance and tolerance back from those I interact with.

    IMHO you want the attitude of the general public to change, start at home with acceptance of yourself.

    BTW, I do not consider surprised and confused looks as being frowned upon. I consider the surprised and confused looks as a normal reaction as I disrupted their gender separation within their brains. They are having to figure out some way to relate to me based on current data within their brains.

    kim
    KimberlyS-CD
    joe in a skirt. Being myself not trying to be some other CDer
    Just trying to find a balance for my son and myself.

    Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you've got no desire to leave the house, that's fine, I'm not trying to push you out the door. But for those who've been yearning to do so, I just want to let you know the world may not be as scary a place as you think.

  6. #6
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    I belong any where and every where ever I want to go!!
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  7. #7
    Junior Member Karen C's Avatar
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    yes we belong

    where you go .
    there you are .
    and that is where you belong .
    or where you were suposed to be .
    time is irrivelant .
    to igzist is now.
    enjoy it because tomarow may not be there.
    yeasterday is over
    now is somewhere
    even when your sleeping
    Last edited by Karen C; 02-21-2009 at 12:00 AM. Reason: wasn't right . sorry bad spelling

  8. #8
    New Member Legs's Avatar
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    We belong wherever we are, or want to be.

    If someone has an issue with it, that is their problem, let them deal with it.

    Huggggggggggggs
    Samantha

  9. #9
    Fun Loving Party Girl Ashlie Marie's Avatar
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    I have to agree. go wherever you want. and it is true attitude is the most important. smile laugh giggle relax.. nothing gives you away more than walking around quiet with your head down.. just be proud of your feelings and your lifestyle. :-)

    hugs
    Ashlie
    ----------------------------------------

    All that is important is that you are comfy with yourself --<<--@

    Come Visit me: My FaceBook Page

  10. #10
    Silver Member trannie T's Avatar
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    We belong in the Senate.
    We belong in the boardroom.
    We belong in the university.
    We belong anyplace we have the desire and the ability to go.
    What we choose to wear makes no difference.
    It takes a real man to wear a dress.

  11. #11
    In-n-Out / Back-n-Forth / Shannon's Avatar
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    I totally agree that the manner in how you accept yourself and how you present yourself to others is so important. It starts with accepting yourself, finding the confidence and comfort that I think we each have within us, and then taking your self-acceptance and self-confidence and shining it on to others you interact with. That approach works regardless of what your wearing and how consistent or inconsistent it may be with others' frames of reference.

  12. #12
    Member Laura_Stephens's Avatar
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    It was Yukon Cornelius who said, "What do you know? Even among misfits, we're misfits."

  13. #13
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laura_Stephens View Post
    It was Yukon Cornelius who said, "What do you know? Even among misfits, we're misfits."
    I know how he must have felt as i feel like i belong to another time, another place , i am living with outdated values and outdated thoughts i come from a time long passed to a time when i should be someone else or at least something else, so where do i belong ? somewhere in the future
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  14. #14
    Member Rebecca Sue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trannie T View Post
    We belong in the Senate.
    We belong in the boardroom.
    We belong in the university.
    I'd put good money on us already being in all these places, and more.

  15. #15
    Content and Happy
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    I belong right where I am. Most of the world is in the wrong place. Society will not dictate who I am. I did not come this far in my journey, to be concerned about public opinion.
    [SIZE="3"]Lanore[/SIZE]

  16. #16
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Where do we belong? Heh, we are only limited by our own imagination really.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  17. #17
    Ain't love grand :-) Jess_cd32's Avatar
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    Discrimination isn't just limited to cd/tg's, but yes it does feel that way being one myself also.
    Take a look back in history, remember when women couldn't vote, or even "testify" in a court of law?
    I had to shake my head in disbelief when I read "testies", "testify" were related in that archaic thinking, she doen't have testies so her account of things shouldn't be taken seriously

    The worlds a messed up place, always will be. Will we ever have full acceptance? I personally don't see it in my lifetime, but maybe in sporatic areas.

  18. #18
    Silver Member renee k's Avatar
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    Spot On!

    Quote Originally Posted by KimberlyS View Post
    Well most of my out and about CDing is in the general public and I would not say I am frowned upon. But yea I get some surprised looks when they make me. Can not blame them I would be surprised also seeing a feminine image and then suddenly seeing the maleness come through.

    IMHO and experience, how others accept and tolerate us starts with us. If you go out with the attitude you will be frowned upon, that is what you get. I go out with the attitude that it is ok what I am doing. And I get acceptance and tolerance back from those I interact with.

    IMHO you want the attitude of the general public to change, start at home with acceptance of yourself.

    BTW, I do not consider surprised and confused looks as being frowned upon. I consider the surprised and confused looks as a normal reaction as I disrupted their gender separation within their brains. They are having to figure out some way to relate to me based on current data within their brains.

    kim


    Kim, is spot on with her post. It all starts with self acceptance. I'm completely comfortable with who I'am, and my place in society.

    Huggs, Renee

  19. #19
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    You belong where ever you want to go....you put the limits on no one else does. renee said.... It all starts with self acceptance. and that is exactly right.
    Last edited by Di; 02-21-2009 at 10:09 PM.
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    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️


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  20. #20
    Silver Member JoAnne Wheeler's Avatar
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    We need to have a NATIONAL CONVENTION for at least a week where we

    can dress enfemme and get to meet each other and to talk about these

    common problems that we face.


    JoAnne Wheeler

  21. #21
    Silver Member renee k's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoAnne Wheeler View Post
    We need to have a NATIONAL CONVENTION for at least a week where we

    can dress enfemme and get to meet each other and to talk about these

    common problems that we face.


    JoAnne Wheeler
    Hi JoAnne,

    There are several conventions that are national in scope. Southern Comfort, and Be-All to name a couple. I'm planning to go to Be-All this year.Hope to see you there, along with other great gals from this forum.

    Hggs, Renee

  22. #22
    Banned Read only
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    Quote Originally Posted by trannie T View Post
    We belong in the Senate.
    We belong in the boardroom.
    We belong in the university.
    We belong anyplace we have the desire and the ability to go.
    What we choose to wear makes no difference.

  23. #23
    Member Ralph's Avatar
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    Totally agree with the OP: it's frustrating that we are not only rejected as abnormal by mainstream society, but even by much of the rest of LGBT culture since we're not gay enough and we don't want to go all the way with the surgery so we're not female enough.

    I think the path to more acceptance lies in making the public aware that we exist - and to do that, we need to quit trying to pass. Let them *know* that we're guys in dresses.

    Um, you first.

    ralph

  24. #24
    a guy in a skirt KimberlyS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ralph View Post
    ...I think the path to more acceptance lies in making the public aware that we exist - and to do that, we need to quit trying to pass. Let them *know* that we're guys in dresses.....Um, you first.
    Ralph I agree with you on the fact we need to be known that we are guys wearing femme clothes. But the path of acceptance starts with ones self.

    And btw Ralph, I am already out and about and seen as a guy wearing feminine clothes. I do not pass, but present a decent feminine image. Those I interact with know I am a guy. Your turn to join us out and about CDers.

    kim
    joe in a dress
    KimberlyS-CD
    joe in a skirt. Being myself not trying to be some other CDer
    Just trying to find a balance for my son and myself.

    Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you've got no desire to leave the house, that's fine, I'm not trying to push you out the door. But for those who've been yearning to do so, I just want to let you know the world may not be as scary a place as you think.

  25. #25
    Big Sister Nicki B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebecca Sue View Post
    I'd put good money on us already being in all these places, and more.
    (And to MarcieM)

    I can introduce you to several people in at least two out of three of those categories? (Senators, in the UK, are a bit hard to find.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ralph View Post
    I think the path to more acceptance lies in making the public aware that we exist - and to do that, we need to quit trying to pass. Let them *know* that we're guys in dresses.
    Ralph, see my reply to you here?
    Last edited by Nicki B; 02-22-2009 at 12:51 AM. Reason: Merged replies.
    Nicki

    [SIZE="1"]Moi?[/SIZE]

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