Women and TS prefer men and not CD or TV

[Senban]

Joannacaroline said - "Every time I hear the argument that GG's don't like TG's I'm a little baffled. I disagree completely. I think the women here who believe that are just hanging out with the wrong crowd of women (GG's) "

Just this last weekend, my GF and I went on a serious shoe shopping expedition for the whole day. She actually even commented that she loved being with someone who is always ready and willing for a girly shopping trip. This idea that GG don't like CD/TS or whatever just doesn't hold water in my personal experience although other people's mileage may vary of course.

[charlie]

Hello Biannne!
I too do not find your statement true. When I go out it is seemingly straight, young women that find me most interesting. Young GG's seem to find CD's interesting, and I get more hits from them then my TS friend (who I think is beautiful).

[Melanie R]

In my 29 years of being among thousands of CD's and TS's and GG's worldwide, I can say with some authority that there are many women who not only enjoy but prefer crossdressers. Other women in a relationship with a crossdresser may not be supportive and accepting but in time may learn to look beyond the clothing and love and accept the person.

[abundantly_me]

just wondering if it ever crossed your mind, that GG's like masculine men, as you say not CD's because they may feel intimidated ~ sexually speaking. Afraid that they will no longer be the women or somehow the whole sex senario gets twisted up and they don't want to be woman on woman, or to have that thought in their head, if he sees himself as a female does he see me as the male?. It (being in a relationship) with a crossdresser takes a lot of talking, and understanding. There is a lot of anxiety that seems to go in that territory, especially if you are not self confident of whom you are, and what your needs are. So lets face it, many GG's just don't want to because, frankly it's easier. And for those whom are lesbian, some may quite frankly not want the extra package that comes along with being ts if not fully transitioned.

Life is complicated, but I also think on here you will find many cd's whom are happily married to a gg, whether they be in the closet or not.

[Cheryl T]

As someone once told me...
"Too much man for the straights, too much woman for the gays"...

Guess that relates to women and TS's as well. We all have our preferences.

[Stephanie Kay]

Two words, "Well, duh!!"

Love,
Stephanie

[Lorileah]

back in the olden days of polls here there was a question about sexual preference. As I remember it was very close Bi/straight with straight having the advantage (something like 60/40) with about 1 or 2% totally gay.

This makes sense because gays like MEN. Not men who look like women (unless they need a beard) and I am sure that the 40 percent or so who said "bi" transitioned in most part to men while dressed (It's part of being a woman). We can pick that apart even more and ask if you prefer dykey women( more masculine) or effeminate males when dressed. As mentioned above about half the TS's I know decide to become lesbians after transitioning.

You say potayto I say patawto...lets call the whole thing off.

Here's my thought, when that question comes up (and it often does) it just represents an insecurity as to how one SHOULD act. Don't sweat it, if you like girls go with the girls, if you like men go with the men. You should act like YOU. As the song goes "you can't please everyone so you got to please yourself". Some people get tired of tacos.

[PaulaSF]

There's the ole saw about the three things a GG first thinks of, when confronted with the prospect that her formerly "all hetreo, all the time," guy in her life, shares with her that he's a CD:
1. He must be gay
2. She isn't gay, and doesn't want a gal presenting partner
3. She's not interested in "Power Exchange" (i.e., "role reversal")

There's also a jealousy bit, if the CD looks better, en femme, than her ;-)


Amongst the more experienced & out t-gals (and I've come across hundreds, down the decades), there seems to be two main "camps," those that are strictly into GGs (and this tends to be, for better, or worse, almost of biblical consequence amongst organized groups and many of the store front operations catering to the t-community, as well as a big part of the "upholstered closet" TG support groups, if one isn't a transitioning TS, whereupon dating guys is "OK" since still "str8" ;-)

The second main camp, is the t-gals that want to date guys. Here one might consider this almost a "third-sex" with aspects of both straight & gay, but clearly not so black & white. To me, I feel the two main reasons are having a guy as a "beard" for easing blending/passability, as well as, often mistakenly, to my mind, that the affections & interests of the fellas, affirms her desirabilty & femininity (tho, frankly, think its simply an effective "conquest" tool, for the most part!).

I seek to date other t-gals, but by far, the vast majority of t-gals I socialize with, remain platonic friends, for the two reasons, mentioned above... I self-identify as a lipstick t-lesbian, for lack of a better way at conveying where I perceive I fit it, with the femme side of myself.

And don't forget that there isn't an inherent pairing of gender & sexuality- that's a frequently overlooked, biggie, me thinks!

cheers,
Paula

[kellycan27]

Being TG myself. I'll take a big strong masculine man over a CD,TS, or GG anytime. To me it's sexual preference (mine) I can't speak for the others. I want to be a girl,not be with a girl or someone else who wants to be a girl, or even someone who just wants to dress as a girl. Masculine men make me feel more feminine. feminine guys do nothing for me. How about this? Why do the majority of men prefer GG's over cd's,ts's,tg's.

[Stephanie Stephens]

CD, BI, TG, MtF, MFer, who likes; GG, GM, GMC, S&M (not), SRS, & FFS. Want to get rid of; GRD, BPH, and one slightly used B&D.
By by, SS

[Laura_Stephens]

As others have pointed out, there are all kinds of people all with varying aspects of who they are.

I am a crossdresser, but would be a GG if I had the choice. With that said, it is beyond me what anyone, male or female, sees in men. Even if born a GG, I am sure that I would still be attacted to women.

And yes, I am unlike anyone else and others see the world differently than me.

[Toni_Lynn]

I appreciate the fact that everyone is different and that preferences are whatthey are. I do however feel that as a CDer the door is slammed way before any truth about us is known. Its as if there is a pre-defined prejudice, a judgement passed, way before the actual person is known. I think that there are many good reasons for this, among them being the general public's perception of who we are based up the more out-front members of the 'gender' community. I won't go into it, as my feelings have been voiced here before, but the public definition of who and what we are is based on the visible minority that are individuals such as RuPaul et al, rather than the gathered assembly or even the less visible but none the less public figures such as Wendy Carlos and Jan Morris.

That said, my wife got to know me as a good and loving guy, before I came out to her. Timing is everything and one can't wait too long to come out, though. She recognised that I am same human being no matter what I am wearing. She saw the 'value add' that me being a CDer brought forth to all aspects of our life. As she has said, if women knew how wonderful it was having a CDer as husband or boyfriend, the we'd be a hot commodity, because with us you get 100% of the person in addition to a person who brings a fullness and romantic closeness second to none.

I suppose all we can hope and pray for is that we are given a chance and not pre-judged.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Sheila]

she has said, if women knew how wonderful it was having a CDer as husband or boyfriend, the we'd be a hot commodity, because with us you get 100% of the person in addition to a person who brings a fullness and romantic closeness second to none.Huggles
Toni-Lynn

unfortunately Toni not all of us get a 100% of the person even when we know, not all of us get the "fullness and romantic closeness second to none" in a cding relationship .............. some get a self centred a$$ concerned only with their wants needs and desires .............. having said that the A$$ was there all along and cannot be blamed on cding, but not all cDR's are caring copmpassionate peeps ...... just like not all us GG's are either

Edited to ADD .................... I was talking about my Ex and some other CDR's I know, not my wonderful Debs

[TGMarla]

I pretty much agree with what Rachel and Leanne said. As for me, I've never been attracted to men, even when en femme. However, I find myself often wondering what it would be like to actually be a woman. I think that had I been female rather than male, I'd likely prefer men. If I were a woman, I could see myself with a man. But as a man, I can only imagine myself with women. And as a husband, I'm sticking with my wife, and only my wife.

[Toni_Lynn]

unfortunately Toni not all of us get a 100% of the person even when we know ...

some get a self centred a$$ concerned only with their wants needs and desires ...

but not all cDR's are caring copmpassionate peeps ...... just like not all us GG's are either

Point well taken Shiela, and I agree 100%. I have known some CDers who for whom the s$$-holiness within is magnified when they CD. *sigh*

I will never forget the one CDer who left his SO/ wife sitting by herself at a group meeting while he went off for girl talk. She looked so sad and forlorn.

We are all different, but it is true that the different-ness is sometimes in a bad way.

I guess in my cause I longed so much for love, not only to love but to be loved that I said I could never abuse or take advantage of any love accepts me as I am. and to find that love, I have to 100% truthful in all that I am. And that is what I am to my beautiful wife, Debbie.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[sometimes_miss]

Two words, "Well, duh!

Definitely +1

[Alice Torn]

In my almost 55 yrs of singleness, I have striven to be a gentleman, but only a few gg's have gotten to know me. The ones i have asked what they think of cd, all said they did not think much of it. It has been harder than pulling hen's teeth, to earn a gg's trust, enough, to have date once every several years, without telling them about cding. For me, it seems it would make it next to impossible. GG's I know, have been burned too many times, and don't want to go out, even as friends. They've had enough of men.

[denns61]

OK, it should be easy for me to get in trouble with this one. After all as an admirerer I'm just sort of a half welcome visitor anyway.

So when I discovered as a young boy that I was fascinated with women's lingerie and even enjoyed trying it on it was a cause of joy but also shame. How could I be into such a thing. Still I remember playing in all of my girlfriend's and wife's lingerie from 18 to 30+ with no thought of being with another cd much less a man. I would have loved to played with my girlfriends or wifes while dressed but the few times I bought that up it wasn't a go. By my mid 30's however(still no internet) I've started fantasizing being with another cd while I was dressed. Tried a few hookups though contact magazines but that didn't happen. Finally just a few years ago it happened and I met a beautiful tgirl. We both dressed and we had so much fun together.

In the meantime I'm this middle aged guy who loves to work out. No Charles Atlas, but a hairy big guy(gross huh??). I quit dressing, because I enjoy being with a tgirl more than I enjoy dressing itself.

So sexually I prefer women and even more so cute tv's cd's, tgirls(names, names, names). Still I'm pretty bi and who's to say the right guy couldn't seduce me.

My point is I think sexuality is varied and can change. In my case I think I've always been bi, but growing up redneck even thoughts of bisexuality were too taboo.

I wonder how many of us live the sexuality that's expected of us instead of what we'd want for ourselves.

[kellycan27]

Could the deck have been a little loaded at a "crossdresser weekend" ?

[kellycan27]

A guy in a dress does nothing for me. I understand it, I am ok with it, I accept the fact,I understand the motivation, but I wouldn't want my SO to be a crossdresser.

[Kelsy]

Actually GGs don't necessarily prefer masculine men---some prefer women, some like TSs and TGs and some like feminine type males---and same with us TV/CDs--some like women, some like men, some like both and some like TSs or other TV/CDs---so don't assume that gender always equates to a certain sexuality

My wife likes feminine men - thats how she found me Three out of her last four bfs were CD and she has tons of gay male friends as well! you cannot assume that all ggs want masculine men. My last dear gf was attracted to my masculine side but when she discovered I was a CD she was very supportive! I find women to be for the most part much more understanding and accepting

Kelsy

[kellycan27]

I guess if you have one GG that likes CD'ers you could say that the theory that real GG's don't like CD's is blown, But what I believe the poster is getting at is that he feels that the majority of GG's would not prefer a cd'er as a SO.
Seven gg's... seven examples to prove the theory wrong.
The traits that you mention in the survey.. strong hands,funny,nice eyes,a neat bottom etc. all desireable by GG's ,then add crossdresser into the mix and see how many would say yes?
If you took a simular survey here, the number of accepting GG's or gg's that like (for lack of a better word) cder's would be higher, but just as in a "crossdresser weekend" the deck would probably be a little stacked in favor.
take the same survey in a more nuetral setting, add cross dressing in the desireable trait list and I think the result would show differently.
The question isn't addressing desireable traits...it is addressing crossdressers.
simply put... Do the majority of GG's prefer non crossdressers over crossdressers? I believe that that statement is true.

[MissConstrued]

Why is that both natural women and TS prefer masculine men over CD or TV.

Who says I can't be masculine? How does the fact that I dress like a girl now and then affect my masculinity? Sure, women like masculine men. As far as they're concerned, I fit the bill, and my extra wardrobe is irrelevant. It might help that I don't make a big deal about it, and show not the least bit of shame.

I don't see crossdressing and masculinity as mutually exclusive.

Are there any CDer who are now dating women or married to one.

Dating, yes. They know. Not a one has complained about my lack of body hair... the most upset reaction I've gotten is "skinny bitch! They don't make those in my size!" referring to my VS underwear. My masculinity is never called into question.

It's quite clear to me. Women don't have a problem with men who wear women's clothes. They have a problem with men being effeminate. Effeminate men are not attractive to women, whether they crossdress or not.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

[MarinaTwelve200]

A LOT of this CD/TS HS stuff is confusing as much of it makes little logical sense in the light of current definitions.

It does not make sense for Homosexuals to CD, for example, but a heck of a lot of them do---arent they supposed to be attracted and want to attract guys of the same sex/sexuality? looking like a female would be a turn off to a HS guy---but still????

I can understand why (susposedly) most CDs are straight---but many say they want to be women or are attracted to guys when in CD mode.

Personally I am a straight cder and have no interest in other guys. I like to think I know all the definitions and variants, but still I think everybody is missing something in the reality. more is going on than has been defined so far.

[kellycan27]

I think that in this thread masculine is being used in the wrong context to an extent. crossdressers whether masculine or feminine is the question. masculine being used as a descriptive for a non-crossdresser
Why are GG' attracted more to men who don't cd vs men who do.There are no doubt many masculine crossdressers.