could it be possible that I only see cross dressing as a fetish (to me)? anyone else ever felt this way too? help me! thanks!
could it be possible that I only see cross dressing as a fetish (to me)? anyone else ever felt this way too? help me! thanks!
Well, before I met my GF, it had pretty much been in the fetish realm for me. But after telling her, it has essentially matured. There's still that turn on for me with some items, just not like what it used to be.
I've heard that it's typical for crossdressing to start out as a fetish. It is said to come with that "forbidden" feeling, and the secrecy just builds it. I know that, like me, you're new to it all so it wouldn't surprise me if it does blossom into something into a more mature-ish form in the future.
I'm not out to fool the world, just my inner girl
Real men wear pink <3
G.K. Chesterton“Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
For me my feminine leanings started when I was very young, then I denied and stuffed my feelings and the result came out recently as a crossdressing fetish. After a while I realized it wasn't a fetish, womens clothes don't turn me on at all anymore, not even undergarments. Female clothes just seem like a thing I need to do now. My therapist and I think that i have gender dysphoria issues i/e i'm not sure if Im a man or a woman and i feel a need to explore my feminine side.
Steph
For me it's not a fetish but rather a wholesome activity.
I used to think that dressing was a fetish for me. When I was married and wore my wife's clothes it would be a big turn on for me. Because of this fact, I felt that I was doing it out of being sexually excited over dressing. However, now that I am on my own, I still feel the need to dress. When I do dress, I do not get turned on by wearing my own panties. What I mistakenly thought was a fetish at the time, I now realize that I was turned on by the feeling of being close to my wife. The clothes had no part in it at all. At this point I'm still not sure why I feel the need to dress other than it is comfortable. So I go with it.
In my teens, when I started dressing up, it was most definitely a fetish; I dressed up for sexual arousal. Then during a 24-year bad first marriage, dressing up became an escape and I dressed up to self-medicate. My self-medicating usually had a sexual component.
In the later years of my bad first marriage, I discovered chat rooms on the internet. My "dressing up" turned inward and I became Shannon in cybersex chat rooms -- always female, never male or a crossdresser. I "passed" as a female in the chat rooms easily.
The I separated and divorced. I started seeing a therapist for depression, to resolve all my messy feelings about my first marriage, and to resolve my crossdressing.
Over the last four years I have evolved to a totally different place. Crossdressing is no longer a sexual fetish for me. Crossdressing is about nourishing and liberating my femininity. I think my crossdressing is now a much "healthier" activity than when it was a fetish. I am now in my second marriage. I share my crossdressing with my wife. We have fun with it.
You're asking other people what you think and feel?
I don't see how we can answer you..
Nicki
[SIZE="1"]Moi?[/SIZE]
One thing I've noticed over the years is that there seems to be a correlation between fetishism and being in the closet. Again and again, I've heard personal stories (including myself) of once the individual comes out of the closet and integrates their life, the fetish aspects diminish or disappear.
Now I have heard it argued by psychologist and the medical community that the fetishism is a base cause and being transgendered develops out of the fetishism.
I strongly disagree. I think the medical community has it backwards.
Instead of fetishism being a causal agent of becoming transgendered, I see the fetism as just being a symptom of suppressed transgendered needs. Fetishism acts as an outlet for suppressed desires and needs. As such, once the needs are met by integrating the whole human being (which coming out of the closet generally helps with), the fetishistic outlet is no longer needed and the fetishism disappears.
Marla
Not to me it isn't...
It's like anything... sometimes I use a spoon to eat, othertimes I'm washing the spoon, sometimes I'm buying a spoon. Sometimes the clothing is a real turn on, I think I look very attractive, othertimes it's something everyone does... wear clothing... sometimes I'm buying it, sometimes washing it.
Love will find its own way through.
Nicki, why are you right all the time?Originally Posted by Nicki B
You're asking other people what you think and feel?
I don't see how we can answer you..
But to answer the OP's implied question - YES, it is absolutely possible that your dressing is fetishistic, and not a part of some form of TG experience. There are girls here who are totally into dressing just because it gets them off, and fully and completely understand themselves to be men. Good for them. There are also girls here who understand themselves to be females, trapped in male bodies, and dress because it is the only means of expression they have right now, and there are girls here who understand themselves to be female, who are actively pursuing or involved in SRS...
And everything in between.
So, yes, for you, dressing could be limited to a fetish activity. But we don't have any way of knowing how you feel. You have to figure that one out on your own.
"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe
Like Some of you have said I think my dressing started as an fetish thing. I would wear dance costumes like all the time. but with the help of my wife. I have turned it into a life style :-)
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All that is important is that you are comfy with yourself --<<--@
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Yes, I echo Shannon's message. Fetish-like when it was new to me, but I was still in denial. I think the "taboo" factor helped fuel the fetish.
Started getting some counciling for for mild depression. Came out to my therapist. Much more peaceful and accepting, not so fetishy now...
U haven't mentioned how long you've been dressing. That seems to have some bearing on it.
I've been dressing for about 11 years. Definitely a fetish dresser. Still waiting for my fem side to surface! I'm PRETTY SURE it's hiding in there somewhere!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
After many years of personal debate, I have come to the conclusion that whilst, like us all, I have a feminine component; but that my desire to dress is a fetish. There are those people who dress in diapers and little bootees and frills who obviously are n't searching for their baby selves and am I not in reality just like them? I want to look like a woman from top to bottom, from inside to out, but it has to be a certain style. Tee shirt, jeans and sneakers do not to me, a woman make.
I spend a worrying amount of time thinking about women's clothes and search for the particular image that I have in mind until I have managed to buy it and dress in it. That, after sixty years gives me a thrill: yes, in my now distant youth, I used to pray that I would wake up as a girl, but now I need to become one for my own satisfaction. Judging by the comments on my youtube videos others feel the same.
http://www.youtube.com/user/Fionaxcd
For some of us it is almost a personal mile stone...to pass; but for others there truly are those who go all the way as they are not happy in their male persona. By no stretch could that be thought of as a fetish. As others have said only you know what drives you.
Fiona
<-- Transvestic fetishist here.
Like almost everyone else on here, I would say it started off as a fetish. I think it still is. The only time i feel like want to dress up more is when I think about it a lot.
So what if it's "only" a fetish!
Nicki and Hope and RobbySherry and many others are on the right track.
If it is, it's no big deal! Do you use it to hurt anyone? Do you enjoy it?
Are you comng to a better understanding of your self and your own needs?
Nothing ever remains the same. All things change...including ourselves...
Don't beat yourself up over pleasing yourself!
It depends on the person and their outlook really. It can be a fetish for women as well, ya know. The other thing to consider is if it's seen as something "special" or just clothes.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I know I started out with a shoe fetish, but from there it drifted rather rapidly to other women's clothing. By my 20's it was still sexual. Somewhere after age 35 I realized it was part of me and seemed very relaxing, exhilarating and natural at the same time. Now, at age 66, it is the one thing that can relax me in stressful times... to the point that I am going to slowly break it to my wife.
I love being a girl
This is an interesting topic. While my early experiences in dressing definitely were part fetish, I would also say that for me there was a part that was truly gender-identity--if that makes sense.
Far from being a fetish for me, its a major integral part of me. Now that doesn't mean I wouldn't dress in a fetish outfit for a theme though maybe
In the beginning of my crossdressing, there was a small "fetish aspect", but
that aspect no longer exists - for me, crossdressing is the ultimate expression
of my true self
JoAnne Wheeler
Hello,
My fetish for wearing tights (pantyhose) has evolved as I get older and perhaps because of changing circunstances. Now my children have grown up and left home I don't just like to wear tights under my jeans I like to see my legs in the tights so I wear skirts or shorts. And, as my wife says, perhaps our inhibitions start to go as we get past "middle aged".
luv Jacques
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