want to go out but cant find the nerve any suggestions

[Sally2005]

For me, I ask myself, ...how many years have I been trying to go out and could never do it? How many more years do I want to do it? ...the answer was obvious...being scared and not going out has not helped me feel better (for years), so the only alternative was to change it. I went out, I could say I overcame my fear! And I felt better.

Another way to put it, what if you felt regret on your final death bed for not doing it all your life...you could be gone tomorrow...so do it now. If it doesn't work out, no big loss at least you won't reget not doing it.

[megan163]

Follow the Nike mantra and just do it. It will be scary for sure, but exhilarating at the same time. You will be hooked I guarantee it and it will get easier with each time out. Just take it easy first time on dressing and go casual to blend.
Have fun!

[candis47]

thank you everyone for your imput i think iam gonna JUST DO IT on sat iam going out look out world

[Ashley in ROC]

First off let me say Hi to everyone. This is my first time posting. I was just like you candis until tonight, I walk to the door, closed it behind me & went for a 2 block walk & back. It was a huge step for me & it was a rush. Can't wait to go out agian.

[Rachael Ray]

I liked a lot of the advice you have already been given, but especially Sherry's down to Earth and blunt one. It appeals to my Military back ground. It IS just that simple - Suck it up and do it!

Karen's comment was also spot on. I tried over and over and just couldn't get out the door, but eventually I got there. These days I wouldn't recommend getting between me and the door 'cause you might get run over.

I've had an epiphany about a month ago. Every one complains that society wont accept them, and "why can't they just let me go my own way". Well, to be blunt, that's bullshit. Society doesn't care - not in the smallest, tiniest way. The only person who is having trouble accepting you is YOU. A lot of US find it hard to tolerate the idea that some stranger may look at us and realize we are crossdressers. Many of US can't accept our being a crossdressers, so the problem is ours, not societies.
Go. Just open the door and walk out it. You will feel like you have been in prison all of your life and didn't even know it.

Well said!!!!

[kellycan27]

First time is always a killer. But it does get easier. Before you know it it'll be a breeze.

[iwearstockings]

Maybe go to a T/G friendly club first. You can usually change there and the crowd will be into it!

[msginaadoll]

My opinion, which may not be worth a hill of beans. Find someplace comfortable to go to at first. Nighttime is easier to get out than day. Dress appropriately for the situation. Finally if going out in general public, accept that people will read you, that is see u as a crossdresser. It is only when u come to grips with that that i feel u can be comfortable in your skin. Also expect to have people look at you. More looks especially if dressing to stand out rather than fit in. Also more looks if you differentiate from the average female. Bigger, taller cds will get looked at more often than a more petite one. Also people may not be so accepting and hey thats their right. It's my right to dress, its theirs to accept me or not. We do not live in a fairytail world so it is hard to get out the door. But there are several choices, take babysteps or even take a flying run out the door. Either may you may fall down and get bruised a little but hopefully decide to get back up and keep on walking.

[Lainie]

You could go out entirely en femme, but trying to pass for a guy! Your best-fitting girl's jeans or slacks; trainers or flats; a plain blouse or polo shirt with girl-side buttons; a sweater to hide the buttons--and the bra--if the weather permits. Trouser-sox or opaque hose or tights, nothing see-through. You could still wear a necklace, maybe work up to cosmetics & earrings later. You'll have to carry a purse because the girl-pants won't have functional pockets, but you could carry it in a back pack.

Later, you will have more courage and experience. Also, start with places that are least threatening; e.g. go to a re-sale or thrift shop, and buy something--even just a necklace. They are always delighted to have a new customer!

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"Mufti, or civies/civvies (short for "civilian attire"),[1] refers to ordinary clothes, especially when worn by one who normally wears, or has long worn, a military or other uniform." Wikipedia[/SIZE]

[sue ellan]

i dont know if this will help or not but the first time i went out the door. i said now its show time. i havenot looked back since.

sue ellan

life it like a roll of tp the closer to the end the faster it goes.

[marykrissmithcd]

Recommend finding a CD gf in your area that belongs to a group like Tri-ess and go as their guest. At least you will be with other girls, some in your same situation. From there you can venture out either with a friend for the first couple of times or on you own. Let me tell you the first time you get out the door and into your car, you will be nervous as hell but do it any way. My first time out was to get dressed and do nothing but go for a drive. Make sure you vehicle is in good working order. HAVE FUN.

[karinels]

Thanx for the topic, candis. I am just like you, can not find the courage. And thanx to all who gave the wonderful suggestions and support. Even though I am scared now, just as all of you said, once I get out, I will love it, and that will be the reasoning behind my venturing out.

[Nicki B]

I think all of your suggestions are great but the one that sticks with most is taking baby steps.

The 'bungee jump' approach may work for some - but I'd advocate taking it slowly, but often, stretching yourself just a little more, each time..

If you take big leaps into the unknown, you run much more of a risk of falling in a heap - and when you're nervously starting, the last thing you need is knocks to the confidence?

But Kimberly is also quite right - the real enemy you have to defeat is yourself - no one else.

Good luck.

[candis47]

well its sat night and I DID IT just for a drive and it was great thanks everyone cant wait to go out again

[sissystephanie]

I liked a lot of the advice you have already been given, but especially Sherry's down to Earth and blunt one. It appeals to my Military back ground. It IS just that simple - Suck it up and do it!

Karen's comment was also spot on. I tried over and over and just couldn't get out the door, but eventually I got there. These days I wouldn't recommend getting between me and the door 'cause you might get run over.

I've had an epiphany about a month ago. Every one complains that society wont accept them, and "why can't they just let me go my own way". Well, to be blunt, that's bullshit. Society doesn't care - not in the smallest, tiniest way. The only person who is having trouble accepting you is YOU. A lot of US find it hard to tolerate the idea that some stranger may look at us and realize we are crossdressers. Many of US can't accept our being a crossdressers, so the problem is ours, not societies.
Go. Just open the door and walk out it. You will feel like you have been in prison all of your life and didn't even know it.

You had already received some great advice before Kimberly's, but she summed it up perfectly. Society really doesn't care!!

I think I am a prime example of that. My late wife always did my wig and makeup before I ventured out in public. I never was very good at those things. Now that she has passed on, I just go out dressed with no wig and no makeup. This past evening I had to go to Sam's Club for a few things. I was wearing a denim knee length skirt and a deep v-neck 3/4 sleeve top with ruching and beading at the V. Of course panties and bra underneath. As you can see in my avatar, I have no need of forms! The store was packed, and nobody even gave me a second look!! People really don't care!!

Dress up, open the door and go out!! You will be glad you did!! And you will do it again and again!!!!

[Amanda_Robinson]

... Society doesn't care - not in the smallest, tiniest way. The only person who is having trouble accepting you is YOU. A lot of US find it hard to tolerate the idea that some stranger may look at us and realize we are crossdressers....

After becoming bored with my routine walks to the mailbox I decided to go to a local casino. I walked right in the door and stood there waiting for the world to stop what it was doing and gawk at me ... nothing .. (and I am over 6ft tall). I was faced with the realization that the world did not revolve around me and the fact that I went to a public place dressed up really didn't matter to anybody but me.

The advice I got for this forum was 1) pick a safe place 2) visit it in regular mode and see how most women dress there 3) relax and enjoy yourself

I say all this not having mastered my own confidence yet but it gets easier.


~Amanda

[RobertaM]

All i can say is go for it.

I have gone from closet to fully out in two months.

I used a Xdressing service to help me out for the first time. Went back three more times.

Spent two weeks getting my look and equipment together

And then BOOM. independence.

I have been out 2 saturdays in a row shopping. HEAVEN.
If people read you , and they usually do. flash them a big confident smile.

I had a great day out shopping,,
COME JOIN US!!!

[vanessaa]

just go for it you look great , vanessaa uk

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Candis, My god girl you are in the heart of CDing The city is great. Connecticut has great places. Once you do it there is no turning back, I hate dressing in drab to go out so dose my GG she rather see me dressed that as a male. GO GET THEM GIRL