This is not a poll

[JoAnne Wheeler]

This is not a poll - BUT - how many of you girls fall into these catagories:

A) your Spouse or SO does not know about your crossdressing

B) your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing, but absolutely

hate it and either want no part of it or don't want to see you

dressed

C) your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing, but will not

let you dress at home and you have to go to a motel or hotel or

somewhere else to dress

D) your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing and sort of

tolerate it and allow you to be dressed in front of them

E) your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing and help you

to dress and offer encouragement

F) your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing, completely

tolerate it, are helpful and encouraging, and allow or want you

to go out with them while you are enfemme either shopping or

traveling or partying

If you can think of any other catagorys, please advise - I think this would

help a lot of young CDers.

JoAnne Wheeler

[kym]

I'll take F for 1000 alex.....er um joanne.

[sara_also]

Give me an "F" also...A CD with a wonderful wife..

[Jaydee]

I'll take an "A". Please have it sent to my closet.

In my case she may not know, but I have cracked the closet door and stuck out a pantyhosed toe. I have been taking baby steps, toward coming out. So far so good, but I am not pressing my luck too hard.

Jaydee

[Brenda's Friend]

B - Years ago we had the discussion. The result was that I would never do it again. Two years ago I restarted in a big way. At this time, she does not know I have restarted. This is so hard. I so love to dress, but I love my wife so, so much. I guess I could stop if I had to will to. How long can I go in secret? I guess I am flirting with fire.

BF

[Berta82]

I fall under A. I am not sure what she would do if I opened up the closet. She did catch me once wearing black tights and clogs and never said anything. I have a feeling she may know but is not saying anything.

[Holly]

...how many of you girls fall into these catagories...

I fall into at least one of those catagories.

[Marie O]

This could be the first time I was happy to get an "F".

[Karren H]

Z - I think you should be infracted and expelled for just mentioning the word "poll". Lol

[trisha59]

D+ Wife knows but I choose to keep it a one person activity

[Jess_cd32]

B) your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing, but absolutely hate it and either want no part of it or don't want to see you dressed

Thats my situation right now.

C) your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing, but will not let you dress at home and you have to go to a motel or hotel or somewhere else to dress

The word "let you" or "allow" isn't in our vocabulary here, we're two strong personalities that respect eachothers individuality, that doesn't mean though she has to be accepting of something she doesn't like. I dress here at home and just try to keep it out of her face though, sometimes its not easy. If I'm comming down to get coffee or something while dressed I'll let her know, then escape the rath ASAP when my coffee's done

[Christie ann]

I'll add my vote in the non-poll to the B category. The talks have not mattered to her one bit. She has said she doesn't want me looking like a girl.

[sandra-leigh]

None of the above. My spouse knows, has seen me dressed, and is ambivalent about it. e.g., some days she will be telling me that I really should get some of <some particular> cosmetic, and other days she puts on a sour face if I put on a "stealth" top that she has gone out with me wearing before and had no apparent problems then. Some days she can be offering me a ride to my monthly social meeting, and then five minutes later I'm in the dog-house as "the absentee husband". This pair of garnet studs, "too big" (which, incidentally, makes them look less femme and more appropriate for a male); this other pair of thin butterfly-shaped silver earrings, clearly not "male": "Oh, so cute!!!", helped me put them on in public (in a coffee shop), made sure her mother could see how cute they looked...

She complains that I don't give her enough notice about my events (even when I gave a fair bit of notice)... so the other day I pressed her on the issue of how much notice she wanted. After some discussion, the answer to the question of appropriate notice turned out to be that what she really wanted was more help in cleaning up the kitchen after supper.

So... when one hears a message of opposition to cross-dressing, sometimes it might be a different message entirely, possibly not about the dressing itself but rather "you are enjoying yourself but I'm feeling overworked".

Sometimes a "I don't like that top" is a "I'm not too happy about you crossdressing" and sometimes it is just "I don't think that particular top looks good on you, I like some of your other tops much better". And even then sometimes the "flaw" in the appearance of the top is that it is more "womanly" than she is comfortable with me being... and sometimes it's just that it clashes with your skin colour, and sometimes it's just a fashion she happens to not like...

So... your non-poll needs an entry for mixed messages, for apparent Ambivalence and Irrationality.

[DonnaT]

D ½

your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing and sort of
tolerates it, allows you to be dressed in front of them and lets you go out occasionally

D ¾

your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing and sort of
tolerates it, allows you to be dressed in front of them, lets you go out occasionally and sometimes goes with

[Ralph]

A solid D... she has never said anything negative, but neither has she ever said, done, or bought anything to encourage me either. {shrug} considering how much worse it could be, I can live with that.

ralph

[Debie]

I fall under A. If ny wife whom I love very much, found out she would blow up the closet with me in it, so be sure an send my A straight to the closet.

[kristinacd55]

D+, tolerates but doesn't want to see me dressed enfemme

[JeanneF]

I fall somewhere between E and F. My wife is completely supporting, but there is the occasional meltdown. But I look at it this way: I've had almost 30 years to come to terms with this aspect of my life, and the first 15 or so were pretty rough for me. She's been getting used to it for only two years (I told very early in our relationship). Needless to say, I can deal with the occasional freakout.

[Kate Lynn]

Give me a D

[susan2010]

Wife went from occassional experiment with E (lingerie), to now a B. Hates it. It's "evil".

[jennCD]

I'll have to go with:

B) your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing, but absolutely hate it and either want no part of it or don't want to see you dressed

[Thalia]

My SO is a definite D. I can't hope for more but she has displayed understanding and tolerance after I came out to her. We were married for over 15 years before I told her so she had to go through a period of adjustment.
I've been giving my answer some thought and think I should edit it some. No one addresses the "WHY". Why does my spouse tolerate my cross dressing. I know she loves me but I think a major reason, perhaps the most important one to her is that if she didn't, there would be terrific upheaval within our family. If we split, the cause would probably come out and my children, grandchildren, friends and colleagues would all look upon me differently. I'd like to think she is accepting because she just loves me so much but I know it's so much more than that. I realize she views me quite differently now....not sure exactly about my sexuality and how that affects her. No matter how much I reinforce my heterosexuality, I know deep down she has some doubts and thinks I'm keeping more secrets (since I took so many years to 'come out' to her.

[Ricochet]

I'll take a B.

My wife knows (would prefer not to) and does not like it or support it in any way.

[VERONICARH]

Give me an A.

[Lorileah]

it was E. I was told there would be refreshments here