I wonder how I'd respond if a friend came out to me, as I'm not out myself. Of course I'd be supportive, but would I go so far as to reciprocate? I know I'd be tempted, but I'd be mighty nervous, too. I'd certainly have tremendous respect for him.
What do you ladies think?
LAL
I'm wondering if the question is hypothetical or personal. It has been done and is doable but not everyone just jumps at the chance to reveal themself to someone else. It depends on the people involved and a great deal of trust is required as well. In most cases there is the potential of more to lose than more to gain more often than not. It really is a judgment call.
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If a friend had enough trust in me to come out to me, I would probably come out to him or her. I might be a bit suspicious that I was being "baited", so it would need to be a very solid friendship.
Not a friend to be exact, but people have come out to me on-line. Usually strangers who knew I was CD asking me for advice. I've always been fully supportive, thankful, and tried to help out any way I could. Many times I dirrected them to this forum if they didn't know about it already.
With that said. Most of my friends in Real Life these days are CDs so there's really no need for them to come out to me.
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Angie
it kinda went like this mr evans i would like to have a private conversation with you at your convience , ok is this bussiness or personal , ah it is rather personal ,ok on friday i have some spare time we can visit the prodject you are on have lunch you can drive we will leave the office at ten and we don't need to return untill the afternoon ,ok , friday after small talk and we are under way i think we have more in common than you might think (me)that's possable well idon't no how to realy broach this subdject (me) well lettes just say on a personal and bussiness level unless it's some kind of criminal activaty i have a very open mind well i don't want to lose my job but this has been bothering me for quite a while but i am not sure , (me) let's try the truth that usualy workes the best ,OK well i'am a crossdresser , (ME) ok so is that it yes but are you one also (me)why would you ask , all of the girls in the co realy like you and say you are some one they can talk to and feel comfortable with and i noticed you are sincetive to peoples needs , and i have notcied some of the things in you office are girly like the jacket hanging on the back of your door and a few other things (me) yes i have been crossdressing for many years , and you can feel free to talk with me any time you like , WOW you don't no what a load this is of my mind i just new i was going to get fired (ME) I DON'T NO HOW EVERY ONE WOULD REACT but i thi nk i would not make this public knowlage it could cause some major problems for us both , yea most people aren't very forgiving and are prety oppionatated thank you very much you don't no hwo much this means to me well just keep up the good work and we will see what happens
this was five years ago
just one experiance i had
...susie
NO - with the exception of my younger brother who went on to have SRS.
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I'm not expecting it from anyone in particular, Arianna, although the law of averages suggests I know other closeted crossdressers. It is also possible that some old friends might suspect me because of Freudian slips (which can be very lovely). Of course, those most likely to get that vibe from me would be other CCDs.Originally Posted by Arianna Daniels
LAL
Support, of course. But you're already out, Katie. I'm only out here, and not under my male identity.
LAL
Last edited by Di; 03-12-2009 at 05:20 PM.
Might be nice to be able to share if you did reciprocate. It's not like he would be throwing any stones.
Susie, it's exactly the situation you described for which I was seeking guidance. You came through with flying colors. And your compassion and bravery have gone unpunished in five years. Fantastic!
Hugs to you too,
LAL
Well one time at my old job, a guy in his late 40's told me that he and his wife found women's clothes their 18 year old son's drawer. He was all stressed out and didn't know what to do. He said after confronting his son, his son said some people at his high school got him into it. Of course he bought his sons story, but was still upset. I told him that, number one, he is still your son, nothing will ever change that. Number two, that's it? I told him it wasn't a big deal, and to be glad his son isn't doing drugs, or getting girls pregnant. I don't know why he confided in me, but I was glad he did. I just hope for the best for his son, as I know how hard it can be. That's about as close as a coming out confession I've ever got.
It would be great to share, Kelly, but I'd want to be reasonably sure I was dealing with a stable personality. I once knew a very sweet, but terribly mixed-up, pre-op MTF TS. She was always in trouble of one sort or another, and even got arrested a few times for drugs and generally deranged behavior. I would sooner have come out to Matt Drudge.
LAL
I guess sharing your knowledge and understanding with a (presumably) non-crossdresser can be risky, but it's the morally right thing to do. You probably spared an innocent kid a lot of grief. Hurray for you!
LAL
please use the multi quote option
Last edited by Di; 03-12-2009 at 05:21 PM.
If a friend felt comfortable enough to let me in on the secret I'd of course be supportive and comforting. I'd assure that person that it doesn't bother me and the secret is safe with me and then go from there. I may try to probe further and see what desires may be there as far as the dressing goes. Eventually, if all things seemed legit I'd tell that person of me, go to makeovers etc. I don't see this happening though (having a friend come out to me)
I'd probably do the same as you, Ashlee, if I were really sure. No makeovers yet, though. All my makeovers have been DIY, except for my first one almost thirty years ago, performed by a GF who sort of figured me out (and enjoyed it) after we got started. Everything of hers fit me perfectly, from bra, panties and hose to empire-waisted dress and slingbacks.
She did my makeup expertly, including eyelashes, and even loaned me a wig! It was for a costume party, and it was astounding to look into the mirror and see a slightly chunky but sort of attractive young woman gazing back at me. In fact, the experience was so unsettling that I lost my nerve and went to the party dressed as a killjoy who had no imagination whatsoever. But I kept her things for a couple of weeks.
LAL
PS: How do you like that? I just went way off the thread I started myself! Detours in pink.
Well you said a "friend". Do you have a lot of friends that are seriously deranged? We can all come up with senerios for a reason as to do or not do something. it's like me asking you if you'ed walk across an open field and you say sure, and I say well I would have to think about it because what it was hunting season and you were dressed in a deer costume. LOL
Last edited by kellycan27; 03-12-2009 at 03:57 PM.
I guess I meant friend as opposed to stranger, Kelly, and the person I spoke of was rooming with someone I was close to. But yes, I have many friends who are deranged, albeit in a benign and amusing way mostly. And damn it, some of them must crossdress. If only we could all come out together, we could have a lot of fun.
LAL
Make that a doe costume and you're on. I'll take my chances.
LAL
Last edited by Di; 03-12-2009 at 05:21 PM.
If a friend of mine was close enough to me to share this secret, I would definetelty share my experiences. It would be great to have a friend to confide and dress with.
Oddly they tend to come out to my best friend Rob... It may be because they know that we are friends so consider him a sympathetic ear... He's had two confess all to my knowledge. I actually know one of them... Not well but we've met a few times. Maybe I just frighten him... lol... There but for the grace etc.
I know Rob doesn't consider them to be anything like me, but I'm impressed he takes it all in his stride.
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A good friend came out to me many years back......I read everything I could get my hands on.....and talked them into telling their wife. It was my intro into this world and my interest was peaked and met my partner here at the forum.
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Nope... not yet....
It sure would, Chrissy. I'm lucky my SO is great and beautiful, and I love her to bits, but it'd be nice to have a bosom buddy, too.
Meanwhile, it's super to have this place to be myself and feel all girly. I'm a much sweeter lady than gentleman, and it's deeply enriching for me to wander these emotional frontiers with both tenderfoots (tenderfeet?) and trailblazers.
LAL
I'm sure he might be awed by your stunning presence, Lisa.
LAL
You're a beautiful lady, Di, and thanks for being you. What a dream!
LAL
Maybe you're simply too scary-macho in drab, Karren. It would be the other side of the coin to your beautiful femme.
LAL
Last edited by Di; 03-12-2009 at 05:59 PM.
SINCE MY FRIEND AND I CAN ONLY DRESS AT HIS PLACE we are both supportive of each other
If it was a good friend that had enough trust in me to tell me he was CD, I'd confide in him and hope that we could share our desires.
Doe costume.... Does are not allowed to be shot at are they? LOL
Anyway I got your point.
It's nice to have a clubhouse, Brianna-Lynn. Good for you!
LAL
That would be ideal, Linda. And your avatar is very pretty.
LAL
I wish my post was that clever, Kelly, but it wasn't. I only meant I'd be willing to risk being shot at for the chance to be a doe for a day. Duh.
LAL
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