Unaccepting CDR's turning me away

[Sheila]

I have just about had it with every recent post in this section having one CDR or another whining about the lack of supporting partner or having a dig at GG's in general .......... this is supposed to be a support site ... granted CDing is a or can be stressful in a relationship, but at the moment almost every thread in here has somebody doing the "poor poor me" bit.

I am rapidly getting to the stage where I will no longer take part in this section of the forum at least for awhile, I know there are Several GG's here who will not even look in here let alone dare post.

I come here to support you all as much as I can .... sure sometimes I am tough but it is because," I DO CARE" ........... and I will defend the rights of your partners to not like it if they don't, Just as I will defend your right to them and the world at large to dress ...... right now I really am ticked off with this section

[Lisa Golightly]

I find it difficult to post here at times... But I will not stop... If I did then it would just be one more lost voice all be it only a Transsexual one... It's been a bit negative of late, Kelly's thread burned brightly like a beacon of hope, but then some of us live for hope. I just shake my head and wander away from the nuclear threads... No-one listens anyway.

I get used to being ignored... It doesn't worry me... It's all virtual isn't it?

[JulieC]

Sheila,

In every sense that a person can express this without ever having met you and only knowing you through this forum, and of course in the platonic sense...I love you. Yes, I mean it. Think of that in the same sense as expressing love for say, Desmond Tutu for sticking up for what is right.

Reality; most women do not support their husbands CDing. You do (well, soon to be husband). You are a gem, by that alone if nothing else. You are even more of a gem because not only do you support your fiance, but you take time out of your life to reach out to men here and offer them support as well.

I know you were venting, and not looking for a fan club to instantly materialize. But, you've got one here and I think I speak for many (I certainly hope I do in this case!)

Some of us are going to disagree with you at times. I have just recently. That doesn't mean I hold you in any less regard. Far from it.

Many of us come here to complain and rant about the injustice of the world because (a) humans tend to complain more than compliment (b) this is a forum of notionally supportive people and we're likely to find agreeable outlet to voice our frustrations and (c) it's easier to vent to an anonymous text interface than it is in public, since most of us aren't out in public to complain at society.

So, yes, we whine too much at times. Forgive us if we overdo it. It's not intentional in the sense of causing any harm. If I've contributed to that, please accept my apology.

[Sarah...]

I know there are Several GG's here who will not even look in here let alone dare post.

Yeah. My wife left the forum completely because of this issue.

...all be it only a Transsexual one...

Shame on you! Your transsexual voice is as good as any other, my girl!

Sarah...

[Kelsy]

Problem - to many girls here (not gg) think and act like men IMO
sorry Sheila!

Kelsy

[PanteeQueen]

I have to agree with JulieC, it is easier to complain than to compliment. Since most of us are closeted, who are we going to talk to, air or complaints or concerns to? However, all the support that my SO gives me I gracously accept and love her even more for it, and I think that we all need to take a minute and send some love to those who do support and love us no matter what!!! And Lisa, every voice counts and your not ignored!!

[JillHill]

Shila, I appreciate your comments and participation in this forum. Although my wife is tolerant, I wish she was as supporative as you. Blessings, Luv, Jill

[Lorileah]

Sheila you know how I feel about all the whining about SO's here. The grass is always greener for most of the gurls (gawd I hate that word)here. As you mentioned on a different thread often the SO being non-supportive is due to the CD wanting 100% acceptance RIGHT NOW. I think that contrary to what most of the CD's think their loved ones are as accepting as possible at that particular time.

I will out myself on this but men in general are big spoiled babies (yes that includes me). If you give them a little they want a little more and so on. I agree that too often the posts are "poor me" but look around and I am seeing many more "My wife is wonderful" posts. Maybe because when I start a post and it says "My wife made me ...." or "My wife doesn't..." I go on and read something else.

I was never a "poor me" CD. I had the advantage of a wife who may not have wanted me to do but she let me be me. Many would say those are rare but I think if you stop and look deep enough they are all over.

Sheila thanks for your support and help in this forum and for your caring of all of us and one CD in particular

[Sheila]

thanks folks but this is not just about me, it's about turning many of the GG's away from this side, & I may be wrong but I believe this side of the forum would be a sadder place to be if we were not here

There are also CDR's thenselves who are heartily sick of it, I know I have PM's and have had then in the past on the subject from a few.

I apppreciate that airing concerns is a big part of learning but when repeated posts are saying the same thing every day several times a day, it gets old very very fast

[trisha59]

Sheila and all you other wonderful GG's:
Please don't stop posting. As I scan through the threads Yours are the only ones I always stop on because you are usually Please take this in the spirit in which it was meant slapping one of us cd'ers upside the head. We need to be yanked back down to the earth when we get a little full of ourselves. Did I say little.....When we get mighty full of ourselves. Your honesty, directness and wit is what makes this forum what it is. I cannot even begin to imagine what this sight would be like if the only members were guys in tights. What you women bring to this forum is priceless.

[newcd]

I know how it goes i need someone to share this with or i need someone to help lighten the burden or why do girls make fun of me ive heard alot of it thru a few select friends that know about my lil secret but i dont whine about it because sooner or later i will find that girl someone whose open minded and not afraid wehn her man is goin through her clothes lol but dont hate on gg just because of a past experience. but seriously sometimes a gg as a friend is all we need i have 3 that know and they help with my hair makeup and manicure/pedicures. well anyways peace and talk to ya'll laters
mary

[JoAnne Wheeler]

We CDR LOVE you - you are a great woman - I love you - we are jealous and

envious BECAUSE we wish we had someone like you (and the other GGs who

are members of the Forum - but as has been said - most GGs do not really

want to be married to or involved with a CDR.


JoAnne Wheeler

[Deborah Jane]

you are a great woman - I love you
JoAnne Wheeler

Ahem.......

Thats my future wife you're talking to there, butt out

[Kate Simmons]

Understood Sheila but don't let it get to you. Your input is needed and valued despite the fact we (as guys) sometimes act like "lead heads". We sink or swim together really.

[Karren H]

Yeah!! I totally understand..... The whinning is really annoying to me and I'm not even a woman!! I just don't even post in those threads... and stick to the happy ones or the ones about makeup or fashion......

[JoannaCaroline]

I lost it on one of those threads earlier today. I can't take the whining anymore. I'm about to stop participating on this board and 'm TG. I showed this post to my wife tonight and she agreed.

[kristinacd55]

Yeah!! I totally understand..... The whining is really annoying to me and I'm not even a woman!! I just don't even post in those threads... and stick to the happy ones or the ones about makeup or fashion......

Here, here. I'm for positive, positive, positive, not negative, negative, negative. I get enough of that in my real world! of positive posts

[Areyan]

Ahem.......

Thats my future wife you're talking to there, butt out

Lol, Deborah, you go! I tend to agree with Sheila though about this part of the forum being hard for us GGs to post in at times. I too love my CDing husband and accept him for who he is. I wish he posted here more often but he usually won't post in these threads very often because sometimes the negativity is too loud.

I wanted to say I like to feel accepted here too, not just from the other GGs but from CDers who have my support also. A lot of you are great guys/gurls and although I support you it is my hope that your wives/SOs (or single CDers/TG/TS) can give you/find acceptance and love too!



Akira

[Kaz]

I am afraid I am in danger of repeating what others have said, but what helps to make this forum really great is the presence of the GGs and it would be a very sad day if they get turned off.

Guess I've been guilty of sounding off recently, but I find it really helpful to be able to read different views that shape my thinking as I learn more about my CDing side. Open discussion and sharing different viewpoints is so important.

Clearly not all of us have accepting partners and for some of us it is a very bumpy ride. I can guarantee we would all love to have partners as accepting as the GGs who contribute to this forum.

Sheila. your contributions are really important, as are those of all the GGs. Hang in there, and don't let the whingers get you down!

[TxKimberly]

Ummm . . what did I miss? I can't recall the last time someone was sillly enough to slam GG's here. What triggered this?

[Dragster]

[SIZE=2]I haven't seen many posts critical of non-supportive SOs, but perhaps I unconciously filter them out. I don't have a supportive wife myself, and I've posted here many times that I still love her to bits, and have done for almost 43 years; our life is brilliant in so many ways, but could be even better if she'd just be more accepting of my "hobby". I initially came here over 4 years ago to try to find out how best to change her mind, and I've also said many times how I value the input from the GGs, it's really supportive and helps me to see things from her point of view[/SIZE].[SIZE=2] If you all left this forum, I'd have to find another one where I could tap into your input, so please don't go, you ARE appreciated, especially by this CDer.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Tony [/SIZE]

[Nicki B]

Ummm . . what did I miss? I can't recall the last time someone was sillly enough to slam GG's here. What triggered this?

I'd suggest it's this thread that broke the camel's back?

[Jacky Aikou]

Each post by a supportive SO I see warms my heart. Heck, even non-supportive posts by SOs are encouraging, since they're at least willing to talk and share!

Considering how conditioned we are to stick to gender roles, each and every supportive partner out there is more precious than gold. I couldn't accept MYSELF for most of my life, so I can imagine how hard it must be to overcome society's programming for somebody else's sake, even for your own spouse.

I'm not on the forum all that much and haven't really noticed a lot of whining or CDs ganging up on GGs, but if it's there, please forgive them! As incognito as we are in webworld, people are bound to forget their manners and blow off steam. Well, maybe not the true Ladies among us, but you know...

GG input and insight is a big part of what makes this forum so special - it would be tragic if you girls get ticked off and leave.

Please, please, stay!

[Jess_cd32]

thanks folks but this is not just about me, it's about turning many of the GG's away from this side, & I may be wrong but I believe this side of the forum would be a sadder place to be if we were not here

Indeed it would Sheila, I for one appreciate hearing from the women here (I hate calling you all GG's BTW)

I know you've offered your help with me and my SO's problems more than once and I appreciated that and still do Actually I wish there were more women on this part of the forum offering their points of view. I asked my SO one day would you like to say something ......what she said the mods would have deleted
Don't go anywhere Sheila, we'd miss you if you weren't here.
Just skip the threads that are getting on your nerves for now

[TGMarla]

Like Kimberly, I'm not sure what I missed.

Anyway, hi Sheila. I don't think we've met. I remember not so long ago when our Deborah Jane was very alone and wondering where this whole "life" thing was going. [SIZE=1](Hi Debs! )[/SIZE] Then I saw that she finally had a serious significant other going on, and I was very glad. Good to see that she found not just a good woman to be with, but an accepting one at that. I just wanted to finally take the opportunity to say hello and to tell you that any friend of Deb's is a friend of mine, too. So ....Hi there.


[SIZE=1](I don't remember bashing any GGs...??? )[/SIZE]