Mentality of it all? Curious

[zeroled]

I'm curious. By traditional standards, I'm a closet CD. I won't bother getting into the reasons, since I'm sure we all know.
I was curious, though. Where is the line between CD-desires to LOOK like a woman when compared to the desires to BE a woman.
I'm not clear on what motivates someone to want to only LOOK/DRESS like a woman.
I find myself intrigued/attracted to the male physique (just as much as the female), but don't think I could ever "love" a man enough to consider myself truly gay.

Any insight?

[charlie]

Hello Zeroled!
The whole thing is confusing! At first dressing was a sexual excitement. I always understood that part. Dressing got so sexy and exciting that it was over relatively quickly. The last year however is different. I love going out in just the right outfit and playing being a woman. I'm a consummate attention ***** that enjoys compliments, attention and having my drinks paid for. I'm basically straight, but actually went on a date with a guy just to be treated like a woman (doors being opened, going to a restaurant, arm and arm). The fellow knew I wasn't interested, but wanted to go out anyway. All the same, the male/female line gets very blended when I'm dressed.

[Jess_cd32]

Personally I'm happy being male, but have this feminine part in me also that I've embraced and enjoy just as much.
Most have the desires to dress or live female to differing degree's from just once in awhile to the ones who wish to fully transition. All cd'ers are unigue I've found. Regarding sexual preferences I don't think cd'ing really plays any part of it.
Welcome to the forum Zeroled

[deja true]

There's not really a line, hun. It's not a matter of you (or anyone) being either this or that. Gender preference and sexual attraction can be related, but don't necessarily have to be...

And in worrying about it, you'll just get more confused. Our rainbow isn't just made up of 7 colors. Each color has an unlimited number of shades.

Follow your heart, Z-doll.

A version of this convoluted conversation pops up here every week. Read and learn. There are some very wise people here.This is the greatest of classrooms for matters of the trans soul.

[Karren H]

Yeah... no line... its a big fuzzy wide band... lol

[Angie G]

Yes your not gay hun.
Angie

[Marilynn]

While I enjoy dressing and looking like a woman, I have no interest in being a woman, so maybe you're talking about me. The male appearance has no interest or attractiveness for me. Like Elaine said on Seinfeld, the female form is a thing of beauty - the male body is strictly utilitarian.

So while some crossdressers are motivated by some degree of transgender identity, I get off - figuratively - on the transformation aspect. There's not much you can do with your appearance that's as dramatic as switching genders. The first time I slipped on a slinky dress, a wig and high heels, it was shocking to me - in a good way. I love pushing past the male-female boundary and going to a super-feminine look. If I could only wear soccer mom sweat-suits and pant-suits, I wouldn't bother. I need lipstick, mascara, eyeshadow, soft material, a bra, panties and silky hose to get the effect I'm after. And once I change at the end of the night, I forget about "being a woman" and just live my normal guy life happily. Dressing female is like a drug high for me, but there's no real addiction and no hangover or deleterious effects. It's very much sexual, but not necessarily as in "having sex." It's more like I imagine a beautiful young woman feels when she goes into a bar or club and she knows that every guy in the room wants her. God knows I don't look like that, but that's how I feel in lingerie or a slinky dress and high heels. It's a state of mind I don't get anywhere else. And I like it.

Edit to say: I'm probably in a small minority around here.

[Nicki B]

Dressing female is like a drug high for me, but there's no real addiction and no hangover or deleterious effects.

You absloutely, absolutely sure of that?

[kellycan27]

So you are turned on by the thought that all the guys want you? But you are not attracted to men. it's a sexy feeling as opposed to having sex. So would that be a sexual fantasy as to enhance the feminine feeling you get while dressed, and not a fantasy of actually having sex with a man? Just curious.

[Marilynn]

You absloutely, absolutely sure of that?

For me, yeah. I stopped for two years when it was necessary. I didn't stop watching TV, or drinking beer, or listening to sports talk radio, but I did stop this. And I didn't miss it, or even think about it. Now that I'm starting up again, I live alone, so I don't deal with anyone else. It's definitely less harmful than drinking in bars and driving home or buying coke and risking arrest. Some guys build model boats - I build a hot MILF. It doesn't cost much, and I wake up fresh every morning. Much better than when I was partying like a lunatic.

[Tora]

Marilynn, has a point for alot of us. It is in the presentation. Many of use are concerned about passing, with GG's wearing sweats, and dress up in Jeans. We need the lingerie, nylons, slip, panties, and the dress with heels.
Although I don't get to dress completely often, the thrill of dressing for a formal trans Dinner is a trip. I require help for the make-up at Merle Normans, but the total transformation is a High. The shopping is almost as good.

Zeroled, There are many different paths to this journey. Be true to yourself, be careful, try what is right for you, ENJOY.

It is a Cd thing, they would not understand.

[Marilynn]

So you are turned on by the thought that all the guys want you?

No, I just used that example in a woman as an analogy to make the point that something can be sexually charged without "doin' it." I wanted to distinguish between the sexual element of crossdressing - for me - and "it makes me horny so I touch myself." Nothing wrong with a little self-lovin', but crossdressing would be a lot of trouble just for that, and that's not why I do it.

So no, I feel no sexual attraction to men. I love women and women's bodies, and always have. I guy is just a dude like me, and does nothing for me, like any other straight guy.

Now another gurl like me.... that's another matter.

So yeah, I do think about that, and yeah, I see the conflict with what I just said. All I can say is, there's a difference. Nothing I've acted on, but something I'm... curious about. There's no harm in curiousity, as long as you aren't a cat.

[trannie T]

You seem to be perfectly normal.
Not one of us knows what motivates us to do what we do.
The line between wanting to dress like a woman and wanting to be a woman is not distinct.
If you are attracted to men you may be gay, if you are attracted to women you may be straight, if you are attracted to both you may be bi, if you are confused you may be normal.

[Veronica75]

So while some crossdressers are motivated by some degree of transgender identity, I get off - figuratively - on the transformation aspect. There's not much you can do with your appearance that's as dramatic as switching genders. The first time I slipped on a slinky dress, a wig and high heels, it was shocking to me - in a good way. I love pushing past the male-female boundary and going to a super-feminine look. If I could only wear soccer mom sweat-suits and pant-suits, I wouldn't bother. I need lipstick, mascara, eyeshadow, soft material, a bra, panties and silky hose to get the effect I'm after. And once I change at the end of the night, I forget about "being a woman" and just live my normal guy life happily. Dressing female is like a drug high for me, but there's no real addiction and no hangover or deleterious effects. It's very much sexual, but not necessarily as in "having sex." It's more like I imagine a beautiful young woman feels when she goes into a bar or club and she knows that every guy in the room wants her. God knows I don't look like that, but that's how I feel in lingerie or a slinky dress and high heels. It's a state of mind I don't get anywhere else. And I like it.

Edit to say: I'm probably in a small minority around here.

Well if you're in the minority, so am I, because most of what you write in this post could describe me. Of course we're all complex and all different, and there are SO many other aspects... for one, I love a feminine, sexy look, I love the transformation aspect, but I know there's no way I could ever really pass in the real world. The only place where I can interact with others as that feminine me is at clubs (which I'm looking forward to going to again), where "suspension of disbelief" can take on the form of reality, and I can be who I feel I am rather than what my flesh and bone dictates.

For my part, like other girls here, I not only like the male attention, but find myself actually physically attracted to men when dressed, which I never (or at least very rarely) have felt when not.

I suppose the label machine would slap a "bi" on me somewhere, but I find many things attractive at many different times for many different reasons. If they tried to fit my real sexuality on a label, the print would be too small to read.

[kellycan27]

Nope.. no harm in being curious, and you could come back... just like that cat LOL

[docrobbysherry]

Long ago, I became accustomed to the idea some guys r attracted to Sherry. For awhile, I took it as a compliment. For awhile, I was jealous. But it has Never been a big issue for me, because I don't go out dressed!

I nearly Always dress all the way to my max fantasy female level. There's NO CHANCE I'd want to do that all the time. It's WAY TOO MUCH WORK!

[sometimes_miss]

I often get the strong desire to BE a woman because it would fit better with a lot of other desires and feelings that I have. But there are a lot of purely male things about me that wouldn't fit being female at all.
Unfortunately, I feel the need to 'self identify' as female in some way, which I guess is expressed by dressing as one.
I don't know if I have a need to appear as a woman to others; it's simply not very possible. The only women who have a physique like mine were the genetic/pharmacological freaks, the iron curtain shotputters from the cold war era, when they gave the women drugs to make them physically much more like a male, bigger, stronger and faster.

[sallyjones]

hey girl some of us struggle with the thought of CD and some of us question the thought of being gay. if you never cross that line you are not gay. if you experiment across that line thats okay too. if you like it and stay across that line you are gay or bi. it is not something thats other have a say in. just be you.

[Kate Simmons]

You don't HAVE to do one or the other really. The important thing is being yourself as a person and enjoying it.

[Adrianna_Sofia]

My theory on this, probably chromosomes...Since we got both X and Y chromosomes the pull towards one probably could explain the complexity of CD'ing...

Example:

X<-------------------------XY------------------------>Y

<-----more feminine--------][---------more masculine>

[Sheila]

Where is the line between CD-desires to LOOK like a woman when compared to the desires to BE a woman.
Any insight?

As far as I am aware there is no LINE between CDERS desires to dress as a woman & TS's NEED to correct the wrong birth gender assigned

It is not a Desire but the deep burning NEED to correct natures mistake, to enable them to fullfill their destiny, to be who they are within fulltime with all the I's dotted and T's crossed

[Sheila]

So I don't really identify with a TS's "need to correct nature's mistake". For me there's a - well, not so much a line as a yawning gap between their emotions and mine.

Sorry Katie let me make it clearer for you if I can .................. I believe that CDERS don't cross a line into becoming TS ................ rather if you like that they are two seperate entities .............


It is my belief that CDERS do not Progress from CDing to TS, but rather TS's have always been TS's

Any clearer .......... I hope so or we will have to rely on your traslation skills to decipher

[Patricia1]

All the same, the male/female line gets very blended when I'm dressed.

That's the way it is with me all the time as I suspect ii is for most of us. We are all one, disposed or inclined to one manifestation or the other depending on how and what we want to say at the moment. A fully integrated person is what we strive to be all the time. We all play some many different roles in our lives: child, parent, employee, sibling, friend and so on. These roles are all us, expressing ourselves as the moment requires.

[Lorileah]

I was curious, though. Where is the line between CD-desires to LOOK like a woman when compared to the desires to BE a woman.
I'm not clear on what motivates someone to want to only LOOK/DRESS like a woman.
I find myself intrigued/attracted to the male physique (just as much as the female), but don't think I could ever "love" a man enough to consider myself truly gay.

Any insight?

Is there a line? Many of us cross lines and recross those lines everyday.

There is a chart above that shows X<-------------> Y, I like that but mine says Abnormal<-----------------N----------------->abnormal. Notice that what people want to be normal IS the line. I have stated before that no one is 100% anything, so don't sweat the little stuff and it is all little stuff.

Me? I am not gay, I have a girlfriend who lives in ...uh ...Canada. Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver, she cooks like my mother and s**** like a hoover. (Bad Lori and thanks Ave Q)

If you were gay I'd shout hooray! But we're not gay, we are happy just being me

Lori heads to time out again

[Joanne f]

There are no lines everyone is an individual you have your own feelings and that is all you should go by .