Passable?

[socute]

Why is it important to some cds that they are passable? (No flames, please. I am new here and am just wondering.)

[gretchen2]

I could go into why it is so important to be passable, but i would like to know what no flames means?

[Jilmac]

I think passing is a huge ego trip for some, but I'll be the first to admit that there are some on this forum who could pass in a ladies locker room. Foe me, passing is blending in. I've gotten looks and stares from people but that's just part of CDing. I've also seen GGs who would stop a wolf pack dead in thier tracks. I could pass very easy alongside any of them.

[thegeneralpublic]

I could go into why it is so important to be passable, but i would like to know what no flames means?

Computer Slang. an angry, critical, or disparaging electronic message, as an e-mail or newsgroup post.

Usually it refers to somebody replying with a post that is both rancorous and lacking in constructive or meaningful content.

To answer the original question, for some people it isn't. I'm kind of in the middle: I'd like to wear some borderline stuff while I'm a guy but would still like to pass at some point. I guess part of it is that it wouldn't seem abnormal to those who I met. I also think that passing kind of enhances it for me...it makes it feel more complete/natural.

[windycissy]

It's only important if you want to go out without calling attention to yourself, which is so much fun and important to me, it's opened up a whole new world.

[Melinda G]

Passing tends to reduce the amount of staring, laughing, pointing, ridicule and harrassment, we have to put up with, when we don't pass.

[Karren H]

Well for me it used to be fun!! Like your getting away with something!! Something that's not accepted by society but no one knew!!

And its not looks that get you through the mall.. Its 95% attitude!!!

I really don't pass that well but then again lately I could caue less what people think..

[Taylermade]

Basically people are different. IF everyone was the same, then that would be quite boring.

It think it has alot to do with how people view it too and their personality.

For example, I am a perfectionist and anything I put forth no matter what it is, I do it with full effort. I have to look good.
I do not want to be viewed as "just another guy in a dress" (no offense to those). When I dress like a chick, I want to look like one. That is how I view it. It certainly doesn't mean my opinion is the right one.
I don't think that is horrible trait to have either. We all have our kwirks. This is simply just who I am.

I agree on some other points too. Being passable gives me a sense of comfort and acceptance. But let's keep in mind that there are non-passable cd's I have met who are just as accepted too. Again this is my thoughts on how I view me needing to be passable.

[countrygirl]

To be able to pass is a huge dream for me right now I am just a guy in a skirt, but to be able to pass would mean so much, to be able to go out and not get stared at, not be laughed at, and so much more. If only I could.

[NancyTO]

It certainly makes life a lot easier when out in public. And yes it's a bit of head trip when you get treated like a lady and guys open doors for you and you can shop in the women's sections without stares and giggles from others.

[Nena]

In addition to personal pride, I think that there also is a safety issue. If being able to exit the domicile en femme is important to a person, then it is equally important that they be able to "pass" as female as much as possible. Otherwise, their safety may be in jeopardy.

Nena GG

[Angie Sweet]

I think at some point you want to break out of the dressing around the house and taking and posting pics. As you go on this journey, you take certain steps. Wearing the wife's, girlfriend's clothes. Wearing makeup. Buying a wig, online usually for the first one. Shopping for clothes for yourself. Shopping for makeup in the stores...etc.
Once you have reached a certain point, and think that you look pretty good dressed. After getting all the advice you can from the ladies here on looking and acting feminine. There is just one step left. Can I pass in public? I think at this point you want to stretch the boundries. The house and the camera are too small. We love to dress, and act feminine, but are caged in by our homes.
That is my bit of free form therapy for myself. I do not pretend to speak for others. I admire the ones that go out in public. I doubt I ever will. I would need someone to tell me, face to face, that I am passable. Then a huge push out the (closet) door.
Hope that helps,
Angie Sweet

[kellycan27]

Passing? Who cares? If I cared about passing, I'd probably spend the equivalent of another full time job dieting and exercising, plucking,combing,leg shaving,trying this on,trying that on, shoving my feet into shoes a size too small,making sure my make-up is just so, and still think I look like crap!.... Oh wait, I do do those things! And yeah.. what the others above me said too.

[Satrana]

There are different aspects - such as the successful outcome to the project of physically transforming into a believable woman, the satisfaction of achieving a life-long fantasy of "becoming" a woman, the validation from others of the CD's own femininity.

Also there is a psychological need to pass because the CD does not want to be seen as a man in a dress - which has connotations- i.e. pervert or gay man seeking sex etc which he feels he is not.

There is the issue of public acceptance and safety, it is better and easier for others to accept the CD if he conforms to society's gender binary system ie only men and women and nothing inbetween.

One final reason - he becomes a different person - he can no longer relate to his male self so it is like becoming a new person with the freedom to do things which he would never do otherwise. And nobody recognizes the man under the wig and makeup.

[Sheila]

hun, Debs and I went out faily recently and we both tried to ensure that she looked as good as she could to blend in, it meant that she could enjoy the day out ( and yes it was daytime) ........ it is about trying to minimizing rude stares and comments, to allow them to enjoy the experiance to the fullest, nobody wants stares and comments, whether they are a cdr, an overwight person, a particularly tall/short person, a disabled person etc

[<3 Keri Lynn <3]

For me, I don't think I will ever go out in public until I look 85% female and probably after I have started my transition. Right now I am trying to lose over 150 pounds. I have a soldier determination to get down under 200 from over 300 and I guess to be passable is the main reason I am doing it.

In my mind I wont be happy until I can go out in public, confident and maybe notice a guy or two checking me out


*Hugs*Kisses*

[Tasha McIntyre]

Sure i would love to 'pass'. To be able to wander around seamlessly as a female in the real world is the ultimate dream Alas, I couldn't 'pass' unless I remained quiet in a very dark room. Knowing that, what I try to achieve is to blend in, or more specifically not to stand out like a light house beacon.

In short I try to do the best I can, and look the best I can.....improving my make up skills would help.

Cheers

Tash

[Deb The Brunette]

Why is it important to some cds that they are passable?

I think it's only important if it's important to you

For me it's an acceptance thing, being able to integrate with society is just so wonderful

[Laurie909]

I remember someone said once, "It's not really necessary to be passable when you go out, but it's so much nicer when you are!"

[Kate Simmons]

Quite honestly most CD's do not know. They want to be able to make others think they are a woman but if they are treated like one by guys for instance they don't like it. Yeah I know, it makes no sense but that is part of the CD "mystique". Go figure.

[MsJanessa]

for some it is very important, for others including me much less so---I would rather be admired as a stunning CD than pass as a drab gg--the irony about passing is that when we "dress down"--crappy jeans and sneakers, light make up, blah wig, ordinary top we are much more likely to pass then when we dress to the nines because no body is going to notice us. I have a friend that when she dresses looks like a somewhat overweight maiden aunt---no body would suspect she isn't female--but then she doesn't attract much attention

"flame wars" are personal attacks and pissing matches on line between two or more posters.

[Alana65]

In addition to personal pride, I think that there also is a safety issue. If being able to exit the domicile en femme is important to a person, then it is equally important that they be able to "pass" as female as much as possible. Otherwise, their safety may be in jeopardy.

Nena GG

with Nena.....

[Sam-antha]

Once upon a time it was good to get out, to be seen, and looked at, knowing that I was haveing fun getting away with it. Nowadays it is enough to be out, accepted and happy with the me wearing my heels.
~Samm

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Passing is a measuring stick to many - it means to achieve a level of CDing

where you and others feel like you can blend in when out in public - to

close who are in the closet or those who have no intention of going out in

public or those who don't "pass" and because of facial and body features

could never "pass", it really doesn't mean that much. Crossdressing should

be enjoyable and satisfying no matter what level of dressing a Girl aspires to


JoAnne Wheeler

[Sarah...]

Why is it important to some cds that they are passable? (No flames, please. I am new here and am just wondering.)

I guess some folks want to emulate women and some just want to be themselves?

Sarah...