Compliments from a GG vs. compliments from a CD

[Paige.]

Why do so many CD’s seem to think a compliment, or a favorable comment they receive from a GG is any different, or has more significance than the very same compliment coming from a man or another CD?

I believe the sincerity in giving the compliment, something as simple as you look pretty, or you have a nice figure, or your make-up looks super today is equal, but there seems to be a different significance taken by CD’s on the receiving end depending on the source. Men have always, always been the ones to chase and compliment women, not the other way around. CD’s look like women and if you receive a compliment it is because someone, it doesn’t matter who, sees you as, or takes you to be a woman. Why wouldn’t the compliment mean the same or have the same impact on you? Men have had practice and they know how to do it with grace and sometimes great fanfare. But most women don’t want to sound all gushy and syrupy when complimenting another female and that is what you are, or at least appear to be.

I suspect that it isn’t so much the compliment per se, but the hidden meaning that your dressing has been accepted, or acknowledged to some degree by a female and you have just been told in so many words that you are ok after all, even in a dress. Also, you know in your heart of hearts that a CD is a man, and you are not gay.

Or is it because you believe we have a better fashion sense (not true) than you, or we do our make-up better (also not true), and we should know more about how to look like a girl. That’s a weird comment isn’t it? Duh! Or is there an unspoken understanding among men that there is a hidden BS factor or something when giving a compliment to a woman and GG a compliment rings more true?

[matrioshka]

Paige,

I don't know, I never thought of it like that. Maybe it's just what you mentioned, tacit acceptance. If someone offers a sincere compliment, I accept it. It doesn't matter who made it.

Not much use, I know.

Katrina

[TxKimberly]

DING DING DING

Holy smokes - a new topic I haven't seen on the forum yet! Good question too.
OK, that calls for a little introspection here.
In my case, I will agree that it is true, a compliment from a GG DOES mean more to me than a compliment from a TG. This is not to say that a TG's compliment is not appreciated - it is, but a compliment from a GG goes directly to my heart. Now the question was "why?"
I suppose in my case its for at least two reasons.
1 - You (GG's) ARE who I admire and am trying to emulate. Just as a baseball player would feel pride if complimented by a world series winner, I feel pleased and gratified to hear from a woman that I have done a fair job
2 - As you pointed out, I AM a male, and I DO like women. My feelings are a bit more complex/confused than your average male, as not only do I desire women the same way any man would, but I also admire her and wish to be like her. Confused as I may be, getting praise from a woman is something I would desire. Your average male would probably like to have an attractive woman ohh and ahh over his muscles or physical prowess. Well that option is out for me, and I'll settle for her complimenting my appearance or fashion! LOL

[Ms. Emily]

Well the only way I can think of it is that if a CD isn't gay. They aren't going to crave compliments from men as they aren't seeking acceptance or validation from them. For me personally I just think it makes me feel more passable and feminine when a woman compliments me compared to a man. Besides women have to spend more time trying look feminine so who better to judge. How does a guy know if you did a really good job putting your makeup on. All he will usually care is that you have it on .

Of course if your a CD who likes men it almost completely throws what I said out the window. Thats my rationalization for why I'd prefer a woman to compliment me rather then a man though.

[Nicole Erin]

Glad you asked this, glad you asked.

Me personally, I have gotten more compliments from GG's than other CD/TS.
See, when a woman tells us we look nice or some part of our outfit looks nice, it is like more sincere.

I have received more criticism from other CD/TS than from women. Sad thing is, some of the CD/TS who have criticised me tend to have horrible fashion sense. I KNOW I look better than some of them who try to tell me what is good or bad. I think a lot of CDs tend to wear what turns then on instead of trying to dress fashionably. When those CD criticize another CD, it is just trying to lay insecurities on someone else.

Now about the compliments end, when a GG says something, I feel like it is from a more reliable source cause GG's usually do have a better fashion sense.
When it is a CD/TS telling me I look good, it is usually cause they are interested in more than something like how well I coordinate outfit pieces. Yuk.

[KateC]

I wish I actually got compliments from anyone =(

[Alana65]

Paige, I'll take any compliment I can get, but as Kimberly sooo eloquently stated below, for me anyway, a compliment from a GG has a more positive bearing on my psyche than from anyone else.

DING DING DING

Holy smokes - a new topic I haven't seen on the forum yet! Good question too.
OK, that calls for a little introspection here.
In my case, I will agree that it is true, a compliment from a GG DOES mean more to me than a compliment from a TG. This is not to say that a TG's compliment is not appreciated - it is, but a compliment from a GG goes directly to my heart. Now the question was "why?"
I suppose in my case its for at least two reasons.
1 - You (GG's) ARE who I admire and am trying to emulate. Just as a baseball player would feel pride if complimented by a world series winner, I feel pleased and gratified to hear from a woman that I have done a fair job
2 - As you pointed out, I AM a male, and I DO like women. My feelings are a bit more complex/confused than your average male, as not only do I desire women the same way any man would, but I also admire her and wish to be like her. Confused as I may be, getting praise from a woman is something I would desire. Your average male would probably like to have an attractive woman ohh and ahh over his muscles or physical prowess. Well that option is out for me, and I'll settle for her complimenting my appearance or fashion! LOL

[donnadawn]

Yah, any compliment is a good one. But, for me, if it came from a GG it would mean more because I would think it was possibly more genuine. A compliment from a TG might be given only to help boost your ego because they know the kinds of fear we are going through. It would be like telling a child they did a good job on an art project ( when it was not good at all ) just so you don't hurt their feelings. A GG might do that too but would not have the same motivation to do so as a TG would. Now if I was not recogniized as a CDer then all compliments are good no matter who the source.

[Michelle S]

Why do so many CD’s seem to think a compliment, or a favorable comment they receive from a GG is any different, or has more significance than the very same compliment coming from a man or another CD?

Most likely it is because I am attracted to women and not to men. Don't straight women prefer complements from men?

[Sarah...]

Paige, I alluded to this in a post before. A few weeks ago I think. I described it as an almost evangelical pursuit by CDs of validation from XX women.

It's a good question you ask and you throw in a few suppositions that may well ring true as well. From the answers I've read so far, though, I don't really see anything convincing in terms of why one person's comment or compliment is really any more valid than another's. Regardless of their gender. In fact this comment...

See, when a woman tells us we look nice or some part of our outfit looks nice, it is like more sincere.

...is a case in point. That comment effectively says that as women, any comment we've received from a man is more likely to be insincere. Which is a shame because I love some of the comments I've received from men and I'd like to think they were sincere. I wonder if we really ought to take comments and compliments we receive at face value because aren't we simply dismissing people's point of view if we don't? Given our situation I think dismissing someone's point of view, by applying a generalised assumption applied to 50% of humanity, is dangerous territory indeed.

My own view can be summed up in a quote from Shakespeare's "Hamlet". It says, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks". I get the feeling that a lot of people need to state their heterosexuality very clearly and very often. In many ways there is in fact nothing wrong with this, if it is true. And if it is true, then great - but why throw out the baby with the bathwater? Why dismiss the views of a whole section of humanity as a result? Why play down the comment/compliment from an XY man? I don't understand it either.

Maybe my bisexuality means I am comfortable with comments from anyone. I'd kinda like to think that I take compliments at face value, whoever makes them, because I value that person's input.

Sarah...

[cindym5_04]

For me, I think women tend to be more sincere and overall a bit more critical- at least the ones that I know. So, because of that, it seems that GG's tend to be more honest.

Compliments from another CD/TV/TS are also taken kindly. There are times, though, that just like like our male nature, a compliment will be given just because that's what we want to hear at the time.

As far as compliments from males (and please excuse some of my phrasing in this portion), it's been my experience that the "straight" ones that compliment you generally want a bit of something more than just being nice. The "flaming homosexual" guys are a bit more sincere, so taking a compliment from an out-and-out gay guy, I take like that from a GG- highly accepted. Then you have the guys that are just accepting and again say what you want to hear- sincere or not. Finally you have the ones that are unaccepting, so they'll just go for the put down.

... not that I gave this any thought... hehehe

But thanks for the new topic and sincerely, and we love you and the other GG's that come in here for your honesty.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I will take compliments from anyone !!!!!!!!!


JoAnne Wheeler

[Dalece]

I have been complimented by both. And it does make you feel better inside nowing that the true you shows thru. What is inside.

[Kathi Lake]

Kimberly pretty much nailed it for me as well. Call it validation. Call it being included in "the club." Call it what you will, but a compliment from whom we're emulating on our emulation skill carries great weight. Also, being straight, I don't really seek compliments from men.

That said, I do accept compliments from both genders with the grace in which the compliment was given. When a guy tells me I look nice, I smile, thank him and compliment him in return. When a woman tells me that I look gorgeous or points out a feature of mine, I get to - as a woman - compliment her back. Since the compliment isn't really coming from "a guy" I assume that she actually believes the compliment, rather than automatically sicking it in the "Oh, it's just a guy" BS bucket.

Kathi

[Rachel Morley]

I suspect that it isn’t so much the compliment per se, but the hidden meaning that your dressing has been accepted, or acknowledged to some degree by a female and you have just been told in so many words that you are ok after all, even in a dress.

Quite possibly, but I have to agree wholeheartedly with the two very important points Kimberly said:

1 - You (GG's) ARE who I admire and am trying to emulate. Just as a baseball player would feel pride if complimented by a world series winner, I feel pleased and gratified to hear from a woman that I have done a fair job

2 - As you pointed out, I AM a male, and I DO like women. My feelings are a bit more complex/confused than your average male, as not only do I desire women the same way any man would, but I also admire her and wish to be like her.

[MsSamanthaErica]

I wish I actually got compliments from anyone =(

You look great Kate! And you have a terrific feminine look!

I know that a GG is going to compliment mostly because we are making that extra effort to understand and appreciate the female form, perhaps that's why. Any CDer appreciates a compliment from someone who can dress like we *want* to dress without batting an eyelid.

Of course, any and all compliments I get are gratefully accepted!!

[Shelby]

I have never received a compliment from a gg yet. Mostly because I have had a limited experience of being out in public and I have tried to avoid human contact. The compliments that I have recieved come from my fellow cder's on this site and it helps to build up my self-esteem. In my opinion, getting a compliment from a gg would mean so much more since you are who we try to emulate.

A few weeks ago now, the American Idol contestants sang Motown music and had the privilage of meeting Smokey Robinson. For weeks now they have heard the cheering and screaming everytime they sang. Families and friends encouraged them prior to the contest and even though they love hearing all of that, getting a compliment from singers in the business is a validation for why they are there. When Adam Lambert recieved a standing ovation from Smokey, it was the icing on the cake for him. We have watched you gg's since we realized that girls don't have germs and we became entranced by the way you walk, talk, flip your hair, smile, wiggle your rear, dress and behave. For me, I idolize women so much (safely though) that I want to look like one and if a gg were to tell me that I make for a beautiful woman, it would be like getting a standing ovation from Smokey Robinson.

Your are a beautiful woman, not just for your looks but for your understanding and acceptance of us. Although you have heard that before from many of us, I bet you still love to hear it. Any guy that you are with must feel like he won the lottery. So what if you tried dressing up like a man? Who's approval of a job well done would you seek?

Shelby

[joann07]

DING DING DING

Holy smokes - a new topic I haven't seen on the forum yet! Good question too.
OK, that calls for a little introspection here.
In my case, I will agree that it is true, a compliment from a GG DOES mean more to me than a compliment from a TG. This is not to say that a TG's compliment is not appreciated - it is, but a compliment from a GG goes directly to my heart. Now the question was "why?"
I suppose in my case its for at least two reasons.
1 - You (GG's) ARE who I admire and am trying to emulate. Just as a baseball player would feel pride if complimented by a world series winner, I feel pleased and gratified to hear from a woman that I have done a fair job
2 - As you pointed out, I AM a male, and I DO like women. My feelings are a bit more complex/confused than your average male, as not only do I desire women the same way any man would, but I also admire her and wish to be like her. Confused as I may be, getting praise from a woman is something I would desire. Your average male would probably like to have an attractive woman ohh and ahh over his muscles or physical prowess. Well that option is out for me, and I'll settle for her complimenting my appearance or fashion! LOL

Hi Paige,

Great topic.
Kimberly took the words right out of my mouth.
I very much see eye to eye with her.
I've received compliments from many GGs, including one from a Mary Kay rep, and I thank them in appreciation.
I've worked a lot on perfecting my feminine presentation and so when I get a compliment from a GG it speaks volumes because it tells me that I'm doing all the right things.

Hugs!

[MissConstrued]

Since the compliment isn't really coming from "a guy" I assume that she actually believes the compliment, rather than automatically sicking it in the "Oh, it's just a guy" BS bucket.

So the assumption is that men only compliment women to get laid. Is that it? I'll have you know, I've never done such a thing! Outrageous!

Complimenting women, however, makes them easier to live with, so I do it whether I mean it or not. Gods forbid you do it at work, though, as if any human turns off their innate need for praise for 8 hours a day. As if we didn't know the truth of the matter -- the only thing worse for a woman than being admired/ogled/hit on by men, is not being admired/ogled/hit on.

Ahem. Anyway.

I prefer compliments from GG's because of one simple reason -- I'm straight. And just as with the other way round, flattery may not get them into my pants... but it doesn't hurt.

[Jilmac]

Since coming out I have had numerous compliments from both guys and GGs, and I take them in the same manner as they are given. I appreciate compliments no matter who they're from.

[trannie T]

Last week a very attractive young woman complimented me on my hair and makeup. It was a terrific ego boost and I felt really good. I still do not believe a word she said but it was a very nice thing for her to do.

[Stefanie_Adams]

This is great now I have to tell you that I have never been out "dressed" but I do try to dress as androgynous as I possibly can when I need to function in world as they think I should.
Lucky for me I still have my own hair and it is my crowning glory.

Just yesterday I got three compliments from three GG's. one from my wife who told me that I looked nice last nite and that I am starting to look like a girl,and two last night while I was out working. One GG whom I met for the first time told me that I had nice Auburn hair? maybe she had been drinking as it is Light brown and another GG ask me if I was doing something different with my hair and commented it Looked Pretty(I put such a big smile on my face, couldn't help it) and ask me what I had done differently, so it was girl talk for a couple of minutes .

I am with Kimberly Dazed and confused in my feelings and I do love emulating woman and want so to learn from them, and it just makes my heart flutter when I get a compliment from a GG like "your hair looks pretty" I know a lot of you in here know how that made me feel.

[Deb The Brunette]

Hell !!! I'll take a compliment from wherever it comes from

(I give more than I get though)

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Quite an interesting question and topic.

I never really thought of compliments this way. I'm pretty much happy with any compliment I get. So far, it has been mainly from guys - cd's and non-cd's.

When I receive a compliment from a cd that I find particularly attractive, I pretty much take it as coming from a female. Maybe it's because they really look female (as in attractive & passable) or just because I'm not thinking about it on any higher analytical level.

When I receive a compliment from a (non-cd) guy who is interested in t-girls (usually in the romantic sense), I still rather enjoy it... along with feeling a little weird about it. Being a straight mtf cd, getting compliments from guys who are obviously testing the water for a romantic encounter has a little ick-factor to it, but I'm honestly ok with it (so long as they're not aggressive or nasty). It's still a welcome boost to my female ego and I am flattered they find me feminine and attractive enough that they'd actually want to date me.

Receiving compliments from other cd's who may not be considered very feminine or attractive or even remotely passable is also a very welcome thing. I've received many compliments stating "I wish I looked as good as you". This is also quite an ego boost because I know exactly how it feels myself. I've seen a LOT of drop dead gorgeous t-girls that I wished I could look half as good as. I get really jealous at times (not in an "I hate her" way, just the "I can't even compare to her beauty" way). I mean, I really want my female appearance to be as beautiful as possible. I want to be a hottie - who doesn't? I've lost track of how many t-girls who's beauty I truly envy.

I'm not sure I've actually gotten any compliments from a gg aside from my own wife. She thinks Gabrielle is a total knock-out and I really like that. I mean, she really looks at me with serious attraction in her eyes when I'm in girl-mode. That means the world to me. And no, she's not into (gg) women in any way - just fascinated with a man's ability to transform into the appearance of a beautiful woman and very much in love with me. I'm so lucky to have her in my life - I really am.

I'm not sure I'd take a compliment from a gg as having any higher merit than coming from a cd. I honestly think the most sincere compliments about one's feminine appearance will come from a straight man - whether he is a cd or not. Maybe also from a gg who's into gg's or at least bi. I think there is a sound logic to that. I'd love to hear a beautiful gg tell me that I'm gorgeous (in addition to my own wife), but I think the chances of that are less likely for obvious reasons.

[Sedona]

Paige (how are you BTW?),

Agree with KimTX's #2 above.

Basically my take on it: Honestly, unlike GGs I don't think most males (CD or otherwise) are wired to analyze this stuff all that much/well. Simply put, as a straight male CDer who's in Drab most of the time, here are two scenarios, and about as much thought as I'm likely to put into it:

1. In DRAB mode, pretty woman gives me a compliment: "wow, she's hot, compliment good!"

2. When dressed, pretty woman gives me a compliment: "wow, she's hot, compliment good!"