Worried about going out in public

[Melissa Charlotte]

Ive been enjoying buying new clothes and dressing up at home but im really worried about going out in public. I worry about being noticed etc

has anyone got any advice for me or tips?

[Karren H]

Wait!! Going out in public by definition is getting noticed? Isn't it? If you didn't get noticed then did you really go out in public? Lol

My stratagy has always been... Bust right in the front door.. Like you own the place!! Walk with your head held high.. Project an attitude that says you belong there dressed as you are and no one will give you a second, closer inspection.. Don't be timid and try to blend into the walpaper because all eyes will be drawn your way.. Like your trying to hide something..

Yeah I get noticed.. But I have had no issues with anyone..

That's my plan and its served me well..

[StevieTV]

Exactly as Karen says...Be confident and know who you are and where you are going. With that attitude no one will think twice of razzing you.

Even when I go shopping en drab in the womens dept. I have confidence. I could care less what others think. That's their problem not mine. I'm there for a reason, to shop. If the SA gives me grief I report them. Done deal. Don't mess with the guy in the dress!!

[Shelly Preston]

A lot will depend on where you live

Can you get to a gathering such as "Be it All" "Southern Comfort Conference" or "Sparkle (UK)"

It easier there with so many girls around

[Melissa Charlotte]

What are those event? im from the uk yeah

[Fab Karen]

You could start simply by getting comfortable with going outside your home at first, just go for a short walk or drive. It could also help for first time to get out with a TG or GG friend.
Perhaps many of us didn't start with boldly stepping out into the everyday public, we started first with going to clubs where TG's hang out or are accepted, then getting out with friends to non-club places, and eventually moving into stepping out further. One thing you come to realize, it seems a bigger deal in your mind than when you actually do it.

[AshleyCDFL]

Personally I could care less about others while I'm out, they're strangers anyway and you probably won't see them again so it doesn't really bother me, its just getting past the neighbors.... the people you do see every day or at least every so often. Thats just my ego getting in the way though, why should we care what they think of us anyway? Everyone's got secrets, so what if they know yours.....

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I could not have said it better than Karren - get an attitude - get

determination - build up your confidence - head held high - then just go do it

Like Karren said, the whole purpose in going out is to be and blend in with

the public - if you don't want that, you might as well stay home

JoAnne Wheeler

[Melissa Anne]

Melissa,
I had the same fear just a few months ago. I had been out dressed before but never to any place that was really busy or crowded, mostly just to parks. However, this year, with the help of my sweet and supportive wife, I have gone out 3 times to very public and very busy places in one of the most conservative areas in the U.S. I haven't had any problems. Just dress appropriate for the setting (unless you want to stand out and be noticed), hold your head high, and smile. Also practice walking and moving like a woman. Most people won't pay you any attention. The first time is the hardest, after that it gets much easier. I survived going into a crowded wal mart a week before Christmas dressed and I didn't have any problems. Just go for it and have fun. Good luck!

[Lorileah]

Wow Karren how Zen is that? "If you didn't get noticed then did you really go out in public? " I tried that busting in head held high...tripped on my heels and ended up with my skirt around my ears...but that is a story for another time.

As has been said above, the idea of going out is to be seen and noticed. I don't take the time and energy to pretty myself up to stay home. But there are two actions here. The "out there" types like Karren, and TxKim, and me and others.

And the ones who find that being wallpaper is much better and easier. It depends on your attitude. The recommendation of going to a gathering sounds like a good start. After that...head high and try not to trip

[Melissa Charlotte]

Cheers for all of the advice girls!

im a girl of 21 and i was wondering what outfit to go out in aswell. Skirt, jeans or dress..?

any advice on that one as well?

[Shelly Preston]

What are those event? im from the uk yeah

Hi Melissa

Sparkle is a celebration for the Transgender Community in Manchester

http://www.sparkle.org.uk/

[Phyliss Hdson]

I have only been getting out on a regular basis in the last several months. But when I decided to go out for the first time, at 6'6" in three inch heels, I had no doubt people would notice. I did my make up to the best of abillity put on my best wig, a skirt and top that were not to dressy, and headed for the club. Showed them my ID, pic not of me enfemm, they told me have fun.
Since then I have been shoe shopping and out to eat. I even went to the make up cuonter at the mall recently, and had the attendent give me some pointers, and when she finished told me to come back anytime. I simply hold my head up and carry a confident attitdude. I have noticed that most people either dont seem to pay much mind or don't seem to care, and the ones that do have no idea what to say. I have had a couple of younger girls snicker as i passed them in the mall, but that is there problem.
So hold your head up be confident and enjoy getting out
HUGS PHYLISS

[Sam-antha]

....

But there are two actions here. The "out there" types like Karren, and TxKim, and me and others.
And the ones who find that being wallpaper is much better and easier.

Then there are the ones who start out as wallpaper and who become unglued, get out and either get noticed or not.
Probably one has to be a bit unglued to go out in the beginning, but its grand being in a place where one can be noticed....
~Samm

[Kaz]

I worry about this big time, all the time! But I have been out... not a lot but I'm finding my feet... and it is addictive.

The best time I had, I was so busy doing stuff nobody gave me a second glance... I guess it's about what you want from the experience...

Some of us want to be noticed, some of us just want to be able to be there and "blend"... there is a lot of talk about passing, but right now I just want to be able to experience being Kaz in the real world... don't need to talk to people, just want to feel the wind in my hair and hear the clicking of my heels and to be able to stop and think... this is me.

But I'll crack that and then there is the next challenge...

There are some stars on this site to inspire you to greater freedoms!

Welcome to the club... it is an interesting journey we are all on!

[Nicole Erin]

My stratagy has always been... Bust right in the front door.. Like you own the place!! Walk with your head held high..
Yeah I get noticed.. But I have had no issues with anyone..

That's my plan and its served me well..

What Karren forgot to mention is that when she busts in the door, she starts saying "carry on Carry on, I will be in the area all day" much the same way military officers do before the group comes to attention.

[msginaadoll]

Some great advice was given. I also suggest wearing something you feel good in. But also use your head and realize even though a short skirt feels good, it sure will get you noticed. There are different schools of thought. Me I am for dressing to fit the situation and environment. I want to look nice but not overdone. Others go for the all out galmour girl look, and others...... Also in your head prepare to be noticed and looked at, then it wont be too much of a shock when you are. I think it also helps if you treat others extra nice, then they are more likely to be nice to you. Just my three cents.

[donnaking]

Ive been enjoying buying new clothes and dressing up at home but im really worried about going out in public. I worry about being noticed etc

has anyone got any advice for me or tips?

Here's your solution.
Don't go out in public.

[Karren H]

Cheers for all of the advice girls!

im a girl of 21 and i was wondering what outfit to go out in aswell. Skirt, jeans or dress..?

any advice on that one as well?

Skirt or dress!!! Jeans don't count for going out enfemme since everyone wears jeans!!! lol

[Joy Carter]

Did someone say to SMILE yet ? That disarms most. Shows your confident.

[Corsetgurl]

I didn't read all the posts (there's lots of them) so sorry if someone's said this before, but yeah the important thing has already been said. Your a girl so why should you be nervous, your the same gender as half the population, so if you don't worry about it no one else will. I've been going out as Andrea for hmm heavens to betsy it's been 6 months now and the only comment I've gotten was from some drunk a-hole driving by. I think a majority of the people don't know and those who do are afraid of making a scene. I think that theory kinda breaks down when alcohol is involved but a bar wouldn't be the best place to go first.

[Nicki B]

Be confident and know who you are and where you are going. With that attitude no one will think twice of razzing you.

Start by trying to appear confident, even if you don't feel it? Act as if you've every right to be doing what you are, people will take you at face value.

And, when you start to find people think you are confident, you'll find you become it..

What are those event? im from the uk yeah

Roughly where are you, Melissa? We might be able to suggest some groups to seek out.. It's always easier going out with someone else, preferably someone who's been before?

[Karren H]

Did someone say to SMILE yet ? That disarms most. Shows your confident.

Were still busting down the door, Joy!! lol You get a make over or something?? You look awesome!

I didn't read all the posts (there's lots of them) so sorry if someone's said this before, but yeah the important thing has already been said. Your a girl so why should you be nervous, your the same gender as half the population, so if you don't worry about it no one else will. I've been going out as Andrea for hmm heavens to betsy it's been 6 months now and the only comment I've gotten was from some drunk a-hole driving by. I think a majority of the people don't know and those who do are afraid of making a scene. I think that theory kinda breaks down when alcohol is involved but a bar wouldn't be the best place to go first.

Lucky girl!! Obviously your way ahead of the curve here... Most of us are still males.... and were till trying to figure this passing thing out... after 5 decades... sigh....

[Melissa Charlotte]

im in the east of england. North a london really

[Shannen]

my tip jar is overflowing... here are a few.

Do: Practice getting made up, take lots of pictures, then refine the look you like the best.

Don't: Decide to learn how to do makeup the morning of your big adventure! You'll spend 4 to 8 hours learning makeup, but you won't get out the door...

Do: Have a plan to go somewhere that you are reasonably sure no one will recognize you.

Don't: Worry. Even if you can't manage to transform yourself to look exactly like Angelina Jolie, you will probably look so different from your male side that even coming face to face with someone you know will not result in recognition. (Do you look at every woman that walks by and try to figure out if you know a man that would like that if he were a crossdresser? NO!)

Do: Have fun. Smile. Be confident. Try on shoes!

Don't: Look scared. Turn around and run. Refuse to say thank you because your voice isn't perfect.

Do something you are comfortable with. If that's just driving around and stopping for a coffee, fine. Don't get in over your head. Nobody is forcing you to do something outrageous. Of course... once you get comfortable out there, you will be doing things you would say today are outrageous! Unless you only have a week to live, take it slow and you will have fun.

Oh, one more.

Do: Enjoy the sound of your heels as you walk around!

Don't: Sit in the car with your hand on the door asking yourself 231 times, "Should I really get out?" Just do it!