After years of hiding away my concience got the hold of me . My excuses for " panda " eyes wasn,t working . I hated myself for the deviousness of it all . It soon overtook my reasons for keeping quiet . I imagined if she didn't know it,d be a positive measure . I was wrong , she began to pick up on my behaviour. I was having a hard time , the hiding of clothes , make up , wigs .... but more than anything accepting myself .
So I sat her down , and tried to tell her . I stammered , spoke so fast not a word made sense . The atmosphere was very strained , she very quietly asked me was I crossdressing . I nearly fainted . I opened up , she sat there silent , staring at the floor . Those silent seconds will haunt me forever ... I imagined my marriage to be over . Her only remark was that she'd suspected something was going on due to make up still present on my eyelashes , she thought it was just a moment alone , playing with make up and getting off .
That was over 3 years ago . It hasn't been easy , certainly we've been to war , cried , argued , made up so many times .
