How did your wife find out

[karynspanties]

My wife and I dated in our senior year of high school. We were having sex everyday. She used her panties to rub on me. I did not object. I have dressed as long as I can remember. We were married that fall (1982) and she always new I really liked her panties and camis she wore. About a month into our marriage during sexual activities, I asked her to put her cami on me. She did. This lead up to her dressing me in her clothes (at the time we were the same size) doing my make-up and my hair. Now for as long as I can remember, we have matching underwear/lingerie. She went from an active participant to not wanting to see me fully enfemme. In panties and lingerie, just not fully enfemme.

[Kerrie Sifton]

Not the way to have it happen!

Last year my wife found some lingerie in the trunk of her car. I had been on a trip and bought some things while I was on the road. She was startled and wondered if I had a girlfriend. Saying no, but really dodging the issue we talked briefly about it, me treating it as fetish, then dropped the subject.

However the subject had been brought up with our therapist. And at the time when he asked if I felt guilty, I had a major revelation that I did not feel guilty at all. It was a changing moment which sent me on a direction to have a complete transformation and purchase several complete outfits.

After the transformation, I realized that this was not a simple fetish, but I could not bring myself to reveal it all to my wife. Procrastination set in...
Then this year she found a receipt on a credit card bill for a corset shop. Well this set her to looking at other bills and she realized that It was much more than a fetish. So my preparations to tell her were brought to the fore. And I was more frank than I had been. After 28 years of marriage she was stunned and angered, more so that I was not open with her than anything else.

So now we are working through the issues. Being more open and sooner is a better policy. Keeping your alternate side underwraps or in the closet may not always be the best choice for you or for others around you.

[Miss Petra]

My GF, now wife found my stash when we were moving in together after a month of dating. She asked what is this? I told her that Im a CD. Her only reaction was she knew I wasnt like the manly men she was used to dating and was actually attracted to some of my feminine qualities like being kind compassionate good listener etc.. She thought that it could be fun sometime to try and explore.

Everything was great then after engaged the hammer came down and the dressing was to stop. So for 15 years it was I hide she seeks she destroys.

3 Years ago I told her that this was it I was tired of the lying and living in guilt, shame & fear. I knew that either we try and work it out or I have to leave her.

We go to therapy 2x a month our marriage has never been better. She buys me things I go out as Petra once a month. Not once did I feel I was entitled and acepted the wives feelings as her feelngs and what ever she thought was OK. I kept the pink fog to a minimum and went very slow with lots of negotiations and boundaries set that I dont cross.

We have both worked very hard on this and always accepted each others feelings and has not been easy. Who said marriage was supposed to be easy. She went from homophobic totally unaccepting to supportive, tolerating and knows Im who I am even though I wear womans clothing.

HUgz,

Petra

[spanky1959]

I told my wife soon after we started dating. I was totally shocked after I told her. All she said was, is that all! " I thought you were cheating on me". We talked a long time and she now takes me shopping, we have so much fun together. The big bonus is we are the same size, so we can mix and match. Then another shocker. I had come to the conclusion, after months of therapy, I realized that I was TS. WOW! So I told her this, and she said if I wanted to try hormones she was o.k., as long as I kept her updated on my feelings of a full transition. She told me she accepts hormones, but she's not sure if she can accept a full transition. Now my problem, my therapist who gave me the letter had set up my appt. with an endo. Weeks later I went back to my endo and was told I have factor 5 five, (one gene) a disorder that causes me to make blood clots. I am on coumadin for life. So i am trying to see if there are any other alternatives to my problem. I do not want anybody to do what I did, as it is very dangerous. For six months I took spiro and estrogen, no clots, but I did have sgnificant progress. My chest grew more rapidly than I could ever imagine, everything I could have hoped for and more. Having hormones in my system was giving me the answer I had sought. So it is heartbreaking to know I will never again feel RIGHT anymore. I want that feeling back

[catriona36]

After reading the replies, I cant help but think, the younger generation (me included) have it a lil bit easier.
In that i mean, that now even more and more meeting is via the net. I think that the net gives us a sry of invisible barrier, where we can be more open without feer as people would have been say 10 or 20 years ago...

Having said that, i know that some on the net hide the truth and be more than they are, so it works both ways.

Im single at the moment but cant help but feel that the first woman i lived with would have been ok with this.
tho her being her and not making "girl" friends i would prob have been dressed and draged around by her lol

[sfwarbonnet]

Interesting thread. I am amazed that although many of you disclosed your CDing early in your relationship, almost as many of you CD in “stealth” mode. The biggest disadvantage to the latter, is that you lose the opportunity to choose where and when, as the timing will be determined when your spouse finds a stash of femme clothes and accessories or pictures of you “dressed”. As for me, there are no stashes and no pictures to find. I think that men should be as comfortable shopping for, and wearing traditionally women’s clothes as women are in wearing men’s clothes. However, many of the replies to these finding suggest that I was trying to justify CDing and that I should avoid “girl things”. The more I am told that it is not PC for a man to wear traditionally women's apparel. the more femme items I want to wear. When you are accused of CDing do it – and go as far as possible.

My wearing traditionally women’s clothes has evolved, and the frequency thereof has increased. CDing had been dormant for me for years, but restarted in earnest when she got me women’s pull-on pants, and a doctor recommended pantyhose. With women’s pants and pantyhose. The fly in men’s underwear is not needed, and panties are lighter anyway. A short slip is better than a men’s undershirt as it precludes seeing the tops of panties and pantyhose and avoids exposed skin. She reluctantly “bought in” and got many of my femme clothes (although getting her to buy me panties and nylons was a challenge).

[Trip_rockcity]

Sally2005 your a bit of a legend really.. arnt you (^^,).. .. thats pritty much how i see things about telling people..

[sfwarbonnet]

I have never had “the talk” with my wife, I keep going further in her presence. It was a significant step when she saw me in pantyhose and a slip in our hotel in Vegas a couple years ago. My goal is to go “out” in public en femme with her. Although I have made considerable progress lately in wearing panties, pantyhose, and slip daily, and a dress too in the evening at home when she’s there, I still don’t wear a bra though unless she’s away (like now) and I underdress when we go out here. Next, I want to enlarge my breasts so I need to wear a bra all the time. I may also need an “excuse” to go-all-the-way and it may need to be at a distant location.

[Sarah Doepner]

Ouch! Yes I knew I should have told her, but I was always worried. I wasn't worried about my CDing, but she had so much stress in her life I didn't want to add to it. Boy oh boy, that was a great excuse for not telling her. She needed something in the closet and I had almost managed to get changed and covered up. I blurted it out, answering the 3 or 4 BIG questions in a single breath. No, I'm not gay, I don't want to be a woman, I love you, and I've been doing this for years and not telling you, I'm sooooo very sorry.

She left almost as soon as she came in and I got to stew over it for about 5 or 6 days before she brought it up. She did her research on the internet, found my stash in the basement and decided that I was worth keeping. I should have told her years earlier, but I had blinders on and didn't really know her as well as I thought I did. She is supportive to this day, nearly 7 years later.

I am very lucky and I will do anything for that woman.

[Dawn Marie]

One of her friends saw me at a club and told her. She called me up ( this was while we were still dating) And asked me straight out if it was me and I said yes. She did a lot of yelling that night and I finally gave in and said I would quit. (but we all know how that goes) It's been now going on 13 yrs and she is still not approving and I have been caught several times but we are still together.

[Katheryn]

Ouch! Yes I knew I should have told her, but I was always worried. I wasn't worried about my CDing, but she had so much stress in her life I didn't want to add to it. Boy oh boy, that was a great excuse for not telling her.

I had similar reasons for not telling my wife at first.

No, I'm not gay, I don't want to be a woman, I love you, and I've been doing this for years and not telling you, I'm sooooo very sorry.

Yeah, those are the primary fears. My wife figured I would leave her, have SRS, and find a guy. Wrong. I love her, don't want to leave her, and it took awhile for her to accept that I didn't want to go further than cd'ing.

She left almost as soon as she came in and I got to stew over it for about 5 or 6 days before she brought it up. She did her research on the internet, found my stash in the basement and decided that I was worth keeping.

At least nowadays there is an internet with which to do research. I underlined, often, in the discussion that it was the qualities in me, the femme ones, that attracted her to me in the first place, over most of the macho a----les that she'd dated before. The Marlboro Man lookalike who beat her up, etc. Those same qualities urged me to dress. You can't have one without the other in me. I tried, at first, to bury the dressing for her sake, but realized, as so many of us do, you can't disregard half of yourself without consequences.

I am very lucky and I will do anything for that woman.

Same boat here, hun.


kate

[TxKimberly]

I told her - 21 years ago and about 2 weeks after we were married.

[serina lopez]

i agree with Kimmy P. i basically told my fiance while we were naked in bed having sex and talking dirty.
if you tell her in that scenario, u can find out what she thinks about it. if she doesnt like it,, you can always just say it was bed-talk, and dismiss it as such.
this method is almost fool-proof!

[tanya1976]

[QUOTE=deborah jane;1684382]I told my first wife when the urge to dress came back....We divorced, but not over crossdressing, that was just the final straw...'

Me too. In my first wife's defense she did try to get her head around it initially but I suppose to simplify a very long and painful process, in her own words, it was just 'not her scene'. So yeah we split but it wasn't the end of the world, just the beginning of a new journey for both of us. I am now with someone who, although we have our ups and downs/differences/falling outs/making ups like everybody else has absolutely no problems with me crossdressing.

[Heather Daniels]

I've never really told her about my cding. The subject of lingerie was brought up in bed several years ago, and she did let me wear some of her lingerie to bed. She even went so far as to buy me a few things. I actually had to tell her that I had enough lingerie. (what was I thinking ) Anyway, I think she suspects something, but the subject has not come up again. Part of me wants to confess, but another part of me wants to keep this to myself.

[Jonianne]

We had the "There is something you need to know about me" talk, just as soon as she told me she was interested in me (thank God for womens lib!). She asked me the usual two questions and told me she had to think about this. The next day she called and said she did not care what cloths I wore, she just loved me. We then discussed boundries and groundrules and a couple years later we got married. That was 10 years ago. I love my wonderful Angel!

[nancyish]

I was wearing my wife's panties for about 4 or 5 years and i couldn't take keeping it a secret anymore.One night i wore one of her plain cotton panties to see iff she'd notice the difference.I wore men's bathing suit because of the nice nylon feel and i didn't think she'd know the difference.Well she did notice and was not happy but she agreed to give me a few pairs when i told her i liked them.Since then she's given me some and bought me more.

[Poona]

I told my wife about 2 years ago. It was very hard for her to accept and she felt betrayed. She now accepts that this is a part of who I am, but she doesn't want to see what I look like dressed up. On a good note, she does like buying panties that we can both wear.

[Super Amanda]

I did the worst thing possible and thought I would "surprise" her. I have a couple of pics from that day I found on my computer that I thought I had deleted them long ago.

Our relationship was falling apart, she was doing whatever she wanted, so I figured I would do whatever I want. We split up weeks later. This was in 2005, and our divorce was only final as of the 8th of this month!

I've been taking care of my son solo since then, he was almost 2. It's ironic, because after we split up, I HAD to become Mother as well as Father. Everywhere I went it was diaper bags, car seats and bottles.

She owes me now over 6000 dollars in child support,legally we have joint custody, but I pretty much have sole custody because she, unfortunately, is a horrible Mother and just won't get it together. Sigh.

No wonder she was horrified by the way I looked though, it was by far not my best presentation. Things seemed OK for like two days, she even borrowed my wig and beanie in the pic(and looked fantastic...bitch...just kidding) to go to work one night.

Bottom line, what I did was wrong, wrong, wrong. I wasn't prepared to tell her why, hell, I still was very confused about what I wanted from all of it. It was awful, and I really hurt her by doing it like that.

The pics are tiny thumbnails because lie I said, I though I has deleted the pics, but somehow my computer made thumbs of the pics I thought I deleted.

[sfwarbonnet]

Appearing as a woman and wearing women’s clothes is an evolving process for me. The further I go, the further I want to go. My goal is to go out enfemme with my wife, and be a “girl” with her! She initially balked at my wearing panties, pantyhose and a slip. Now she accepts them, add, if fact, often buys them for me. The first time (that wasn't Halloween) she say me wearing traditionally women's clothed was in our hotel room on a trip a couple yeas ago, but now I wear them routinely and openly. I now wear a dress when she’s home, and she doesn’t react any differentl han if I’m in drab. If I can enlarge my breasts so I need to wear a bra full time then that will be a fait accompli and I can add a bra to the panties, pantyhose, slip, and women’s pull-on slacks that I routinely wear now when we go “out”, even though I am underdressing.

[WandaRae2009]

I came home from a trip out of town, I faild to remove a pair of pantyhose from my briefcase. She went looking for something and found them. She though they belonged to a GG and was having an affair. I told her a lie at first that since it was winter, I just used them to stay warm in the cold. I couldn't stand that I lied, and she suspected it wasn't the truth. After a few days, and I knew the kids were not going to be home for some time I told her the whole truth.

She has done some reading on the internet & We have had one very good counseling session. She is not happy about it but understands that I cannot stop. Hopefully some day she will become more accepting, and we can do more feminine things together.

[sfwarbonnet]

I have now become so accustomed to wearing a bra, that it is only a matter of time until I forget to remove it brfore my wife gets home and she finds me wearing her bra.

[Dana]

[SIZE=4]I told her 3 years before we got serious..[/SIZE]

We can STAND THIS!

If we give a damn!

Nothing is going to stop us!

Now!

Put your arms around me!

BELIVE!

BELIVE!

[becca687]

she found my panties, but has not said anything. she also gives me crap about shaving my legs.

[JulieC]

I have now become so accustomed to wearing a bra, that it is only a matter of time until I forget to remove it brfore my wife gets home and she finds me wearing her bra.

Get your own! Fit better, and WHEN your wife discovers there will be less for her to be upset about!