Loads of threads have touched on nature/nurture arguements... where are we on obsession and addictive behaviours? Always wondered if I was getting addicted to this.. the more I get the more I want/can't do without!???
Loads of threads have touched on nature/nurture arguements... where are we on obsession and addictive behaviours? Always wondered if I was getting addicted to this.. the more I get the more I want/can't do without!???
You basically summed up my posts on what I'm questioning.
Though I believe all CD and related are some form of TS, mildly probably, but still related (this is my belief so don't bash me for it), it's still something that isn't like you can just do whatever..
Well that's what I think, it can be a combo of addiction, obessison and media influences etc, with some innate part that requires you to enjoy feminine side. But it's same for people who are into things like sports or art, like those who are gifted in those areas. yeah those are different but in any event, they can't really do it all the time, like if say person keeps playing sports 24/7 and no regard for his or her family kids etc, that's not right. Just because you like it or want it doesn't mean you can just go do whatever you want.
That's what I think anyways, and I'm asking or challenging people in my thread about what's really needed or what's right or wrong. Where's the limit? Is this like drugs?
Well you said it this time Kaz, I didn't. This is what I keep harping on but few seem to listen. Nothing wrong with the CDing in itself mind you but if it is a compulsion rather than a choice, it can be very counterproductive to all concerned.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I think it is more of a " i want to ,i can, so therefore i will" than an obsession, apart from panties as they are an obsession ( sorry i had to mention them)
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne
To me, it's like costuming. But not dressing up as a zombie priest or the queen of hearts (maybe), more like having the outside reflect whats inside. More than a halloween/party costume.
Q: "what are you supposed to be?"
A: "me"
So it's like we are "obsessed" with being ourselves. But since CDing is not a social nomality (we keep it that way by hiding) we compensate by creating an entirely new person instead of merging them together, which is my personal goal i think.
The first thing people do when they discovery something is to try to find the extent of their discovery. What is this that I've found here? What will I do with it? What impact will it have on the world that I came from? These and many more questions of discovery are the building blocks of your "obsession". What you think of as obsession is entirely routine for others. Your discoveries will lead you to the heart of the world you've uncovered. Just remember to keep your feet firmly planted.
I don't really understand what you're trying to convey here. Nor most of the answers in this thread... Just seems like you're saying what we have is obsession or whatever but keep going at it and don't worry about what everything else is, basically pink fog? I'm not trying to attack you on this but it just seems vague and self-centered approach to life...Originally Posted by Patricia1
It's not an addition for me, although it is something I cannot live without. It's not an obsession either, yet it is always in my mind.
What it is to me is who I am, and who society won't allow me to be. But then again, I've never been one to submit to society's rules. At least not to the absolute and a then little bit less with each passing day.
It is in the genes and I believe that wholeheartedly. Just like some people are more prone to be artistic, some people are prone to be athletic, some people left-handed and some people right-handed - some people will be transgendered or multi-gendered or however you like to call it.
Society says "oh no - you can't be like this, or else you're a perverted freak, blah, blah, blah". So many people just grow up believing that BS - including most of us for a period in our lives.
I know better. I'm not a pervert because I'm like this. I'm simply me. I have a strong feminine side and I choose to embrace and celebrate it rather than pretend it does not exist or try to hide from it. It is truly a gift and I love it!
And so I cannot live without being me - that is why I cannot give it up. I cannot give up being me. I will not give up being me. Even if (for now) I must hide this from society, I will never hide it from myself and my wife celebrates my feminine side with me. Oh, she's quite fond of Gabrielle.
It is always on my mind because it is something I must hide from most of society so that I may hold down a job and pay the bills. One should never have to restrict who they are because of society's idiotic intolerance and prejudice. But that is the state of things today. In time, that will change though.
If being myself is an addition, than I am totally addicted to being me!
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Hmmm, is expressing my masculinity and interacting with society as a man an addiction? If not, how can expressing my femininity and interacting with society as a woman be considered an addiction?
Marla
I agree with Gabrielle and Marla. I'm just trying to be me without the restrictions society is putting on me. I enjoy my femenine side and love to show it. It's that at this point in time I can't do it as publicly as I'd like to be able to. I'm not addicted but I do want to be who I am.
Jasmine
That sounds great, that is if you actually have two things to merge together.
I really have nothing to merge, because there is no his and her sides.
His and Hers towels maybe, lol.
"Sammy, really next time do try to make your point without being quite so abrasive." -RD
No bashing. It's the same idea i've had. It's just that peoples personalities is different. Some are more concrete, some more abstract. Some have higher ability to 'ignore' their body. Some have a lot more vivid imagination.
So coping depends on a lot of different stuff and different abilities. But basically I think the bottom mechanism is the same. Inter sex wiring of the brain.
Some want to be a part of society, some dont. As it is, I think the only way you can 'get away' with your CD'ing is to change sex. People do not want three sexes, that's just the way it is.
It does not matter if it is only clothes. Because that is not the case for 99% of the population.
And when I look at my own CD'ing. Well, it's not really just about the clothes. Most of the reason I like them is because a wide skirt give me bigger hips..etc. I'm hiding my male characteristics with clothes. Opposite to what I notice normal men do.
So I think a real CD'er would enhance his male stuff with female clothes. Not male/female mode-but male mode regardless. That is not what most on this site do from the little I've glimpsed so far.
Kaz , I feel it is very obvious that neither cause CDing but can play a role in how you, yourself accepts crossdressing.
We are all built different, we come from different backgounds, race ,religon and creed. What brings us all together here is we all face simular issues
I don't feel it is the attraction to the clothing,makeup or enhancers and even though there are some who perfer to dress down or all out, the bottom line is emulating or gaining the satisfaction from the no stop urge to feel femme.
I may get lashed by some for saying this but some material of clothing we all desire are also made in mens clothing but we perfer the female style .. Why is that? Isn't it true that no matter how far you dress as a female the level expands or desire grows as you continue to feed the urge? For some anyways.
Your urges grow to be seen or leave the safety of your closet and if caught for some, you will know the cost. We know full well what we are doing as we get dressed , It's something you plan most of the days, weeks or months before you break down to the urges and do it.
We are Crossdresser's bottom line ..Why ? Who knows but your genes and up bringing determain how you choose to live with it.
Last edited by curse within; 04-16-2009 at 06:01 PM.
Registering and lurking on these forums have spiked my interest in crossdressing, but i could never do it 24/7, but i feel i have quite a strong feminine side that seems deep in me, that i can't help, that i sometimes try to refrain from, and i have done some crazy things of where it's taken me, so for some reason, i tend to think my more masculine side has more common sense, and good sense of values, otherwise i might self-destruct.
I can relate to those thoughts..
I have gone through a long list of why I crossdress, relieve from depression, escapism, fetish, sexual turn on, strong female childhood figure, etc, etc.
But at the end of the day these are all just excuses to why I crossdress. Yes some maybe vaild reasons for me crossdressing. However, the real reason I crossdress, I enjoy wearing women's clothes, simple.
Why I like wearing women's clothes.....................well that just a whole different ball game
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Who knows and basically who cares.... I have no idea why and since even if I knew why, it wouldn't change the fact that I love to do what I love to do and couldn't quite even if I wanted to... So it's not worth the effort to find out something that won't change my life going forward... imho...
Last edited by Karren H; 04-16-2009 at 08:01 PM.
Aha! So that's my problem! Now it's coming through......
Who cares if it is addictive. Nothing better than satin underwear. The more I wear it, the more I want it.
If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
I haven't had any experiences with compulsions in my life. That is, UNTIL I started CDing about 11 years ago. Now, I can't stop!
If I could be happy just throwing on a pair of ladies undies, shorts, a halter top, and a wig, I'd be THRILLED TO DEATH!
But no! I have the need to continue ramping up my dressing!!
Taking days, or weeks, to set one up. Then, a MINIMUM of 3 1/2 hours to set out everything, and dress. Lately, my sessions r running 1/2 a day or more!
I'd LOVE to blame the girl inside me, for expressing herself. I'm just NOT sure there's one in there!.gif "Big Roll Eyes")
However, as u say, Arianna; One day the truth about my CDing motivation will out!
Can't wait to find out!!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Some people might call this an addiction... But if you look at the typical characteristics of an addiction, it probably isn't an addiction. Addicts have a strong chemical bond with their addiction, one that grows stronger over time. This chemical bond is destructive and eventually kills them if not treated in time. I have never heard of anyone dying because they crossdressed too much... (Maybe a heart attack or two when their wife came home too early... but that doesn't count...)
It might very well be an obsession for a few people. There are drugs that are very effective for OCD. If one has an obsession to crossdress, these drugs would probably quash the desire. However, if it isn't a true obsession, drugs would be a huge waste of time.
Robyn P.
I think it all depends on the individual CDer personally. Each of us has our own reasons for doing what we do. Sure you can probably group people together based on those reasons. But I don't think you can define the..."phenomenon" (for lack of a better word) of crossdressing on those singular groups. Sure some people crossdress because they get a sexual kick out of it and nothing more, some do it because inside they feel more feminine than masculine and need to express it. Others (like myself for instance) just have a strong feminine streak and also feel the need to express it (but to varying degrees).
I think it depends on your personality and your mental/emotional state where you take it. You can take it to a dark place and make it unhealthy for everyone around, or take it to a light place and let it grow into something beautiful and beneficial. I think it's always a good idea to keep a little introspection on the burner and make sure you know what your motives are for the things you do.
What causes it? Is that the real question that we're trying to uncover? Who knows, let the psychological community figure that one out, when they get around to actually caring. I'm sure they'll work it all out for us and develop a nice little pharmaceutical line just for us.
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I've wondered about this, too. Yeah, maybe it is some sort of addiction and then maybe it's just the feeling of being yourself.
Great conversation.
Have read all your posts I wonder if its just different for all of us for some there maybe a more obsessive side or even an addictive side for others its just a natural phenonema(is that how you spell it!)
Free to choose
I am just being me
Mistybtm
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