Am I a gay CD?

[stephaniedoes]

my 2 cents of this subject are about my self exp. i am not bi or gay just a woman trapped in a mans body that lives by my own law and not that what someone has written in a book about whats right or wrong. i do not find people different if they are men with men woman with woman or man with ts but whatever floats ones boat. i am not personally attracted to men but love when they pay att. to me. i dont like hair and most things men desire inside there heads. im attrated to cd's and those people that love making themselves beautiful and pretty much the femme side. i dont care what they have between there legs as long as they are femme, i dont consider myself bi or gay but very normal. its not what they have between there legs but what they have inside that makes them special..

[Rita B]

I know that I am not gay. I have had too much sexual pleasure with too many women to ever consider myself gay. I must confess however, that when I see a very attractive CD I do have the desire to cuddle with that person and kiss them and hold them and yes to even pleasure them. I don't think that it's the equipment that matters. It's whether the person turns you on or not. I think you are attractive and would like to cuddle with you

[Nicki B]

When I think about pursuing intimacy outside of my platonic marriage. It is always with another CD. So that makes me "lesbian"? The notion of sex with a man turns me off. So therefore I am NOT "Gay"? Or is being a "lesbian" only for GG's?

Once you start blurring genders, the binary of homo/hetero makes no sense either?

Are you attracted to someone's physical sex, or to their gender - or a mixture of the two?

[docrobbysherry]

Why does it matter to you? I think the advice to decide who you really are first (how can you have a meaningful relationship with anybody, if you're not sure) is good...

Only you can really answer this question PFG.

GREAT answers, including these 2, listed above! But, any opinion here, including mine, is probably factually irrelevant to u!

Who r u attracted, too? Never mind who you're sleeping with! THAT may give u a clue! And u may be attracted to different people, and genders, over time.

I've NEVER been attracted to a masculine looking person in my entire life.
(THAT includes myself when CDing).
Yet, it has taken ME nearly 50 years to decide I'm NOT bi or gay!

WHY DO U NEED TO DECIDE NOW!?

[mandy 44]

you is wot you is, we are wot we are,it`s all good

[AmandaM]

In many ways, I can relate to what Prettyflowinggown is saying. I don't consider myself gay or bi, but when I get all dolled up, and feeling really sexy, my female persona kicks in to full gear and I have female urges for not only sexual satisfaction, but in a deeper sense, an emotional release that would come from the kind of intimacies a women likes to receive from a man even before any sexual activity. My journey is one of understanding women much better than before, and I'm finding it utterly fascinating.

I am the same. I am not gay or bi. I have had sex twice with men. Once as a man, where it did nothing for me, and once as a woman, where it did everything for me. That being said. I think I am only interested in men when I come into a complete change mentally/physically into a woman as much as possible. If I just crossdress, I'm not interested. I have to "feel" female first. This probably means if I transitioned I would choose men or women, or maybe just men.

[PaulaSF]

When I think about pursuing intimacy outside of my platonic marriage. It is always with another CD. So that makes me "lesbian"? The notion of sex with a man turns me off. So therefore I am NOT "Gay"? Or is being a "lesbian" only for GG's?

Not trying to hijack the original thread, but seems at least semi-germane...

Barbi, I too, prefer the company/intimacy of another CD (or other "flavor of MtF TG...), and label myself self, and those I seek as:

"lipstick t-lesbian"

Thus, not only for GGs!

cheers,
Paula

[Sheila]

Not trying to hijack the original thread, but seems at least semi-germane...

Barbi, I too, prefer the company/intimacy of another CD (or other "flavor of MtF TG...), and label myself self, and those I seek as:

"lipstick t-lesbian"

Thus, not only for GGs!

cheers,
Paula

Lipstick lesbian is a slang term used to describe lesbian and bisexual women who exhibit feminine gender attributes, such as wearing make-up (thus, lipstick), wearing dresses or skirts and perhaps having other characteristics associated with feminine women.

LIPSTICK LESBIANS

now Lipstick lesbian does not apply to CDERs ..... so at least you could be called BI curious, but not a lipstick lesbian

[Tracii G]

I have been married twice and have had lots of girlfriends over the years but then I realized I had feelings for one particular man in a sense that opened up a whole new side of me.
The person inside is what draws me too them not what they have between the legs.Whether they are male or female it dosen't matter to me its who they are inside.JMO

[Lorileah]

the truth of the matter is you probably feel really sexy when dressed and enjoy the turn on and the power it gives you over the guys who are attracted to you---nothing wrong with that darling and nothing wrong with having physical relationships because of those feelings, in fact its a very feminine thing to do.

Had to highlight that word, it is a power. It is THE power females have.

If you want a relationship with a woman and cannot find one then you are "looking for love in all the wrong places." Maybe it is your insecurity with your gender ID, maybe it is just your fear of rejection. I will grant that females tend to be cautious around us, but as we have heard many women will date us if we are upfront and honest AND we don't get in their faces about how they HAVE to accept us. When you hang at gay bars, you hang with gay men or ---hags. These women are not looking for sexual relations, just fun (sort of the teaser with little fear of reprisal). If you want to meet women, try a different tack. dress androgynously (don't repress your femininity totally) and go somewhere and have FUN. I know you have a shell and that when you dress that shell is easily pierced, but if you want to date you got to come out. What is really shyness may look like aloofness or disinterest on your part.

I am not playing the label game. Sexuality is a bell curve that is very personal, just like everything else in life. Concrete is a human invention. Flow like the rivers. The water has so much more power over the unmoving stone.

[Stephanie Stephens]

You're GAY

[sometimes_miss]

It seems it's the labels that bother you. Do what you desire. Forget whether it means you are gay, straight, or bi. Be what you are. Pursue your desires.

[Miranda09]

PFG..as you can see by all these responses, there is no concrete answer. It's somrthing you'll have to discover, or not, in your own time.

[PaulaSF]

Sheila,

"trans-lesbian" is one of the categories on URNA, and several gals (both part & full-time) I've dated have used both lipstick lesbian, and t-lesbian to self-identify, as well as seeing its usage in personal ads, so do feel its in the venacular...

And notice your citation: "slang," perhaps not to be taken so fully literally???

your well past bi-curious (aka realm of the "str8" admirers that are so common???) ,

Paula

[ReineD]

I'm sorry to be negative... but I find your reason for having sex with men a little bit puzzling.

Sarah, I take it that PFG has a healthy sex drive and prefers GGs, but since they are not available to PFG, she substitutes with GMs. I believe this is common. Just look at all the internet TG meeting sites and you will discover they are populated with GMs/TGs looking for each other. I suspect there is a much greater percentage of bis among the TG populace than admitted.

Sorry to speak of you in the third person PFG, and if I am wrong, please jump in and correct me. But based on the info you've given I would say you are bi. Maybe not attracted to each of the genders equally, but still enough to not be considered hetero. I agree with Katie B when she says you should base your self-identification (if this is important for you to do) on the percentages you've spent with each gender. Judging by your post, you've spent far greater time with men than women. But since you prefer GGs to GMs, I would not consider you as being gay.

[flatlander_48]

Personally, I think we (collectively) spend too much time trying to figure out What we are, rather than just Being what we are...