Can anyone advise?

[Sonia Greene]

Hi All!

I live on my own, in a house, in a town of around 20,000 people, surrounded by countryside ----with other towns quite close.

I also live quite near a city of 500,000. In fact, where I used to live!

To leave my own home dressed, (in daylight), is difficult currently, as I don't wish to alienate people who know me, and the thought occurred to me, that if I removed into the city again, there would be less nosy-ness and interest by the neighbours. But people are people everywhere.....

I would add that I am in a cul-de-sac, "neighbourhood watch" in operation.
I would be the first to agree that it's not ideal.

Is it just a question of "tough-ing" it out, like first time shopping ---which I've done several times, en femme?
And those who are unpleasant, I can do without them anyway?

Be glad of your thoughts please.....

Sonia Greene X

[Vieja]

Hi Sonia, Would people be necessarily alienated if they found out? Of course if you are like me you just really don't want people to know. How about getting tinted windows in your car so no one could see in? Or is it illegal to have windows tinted that way?

Vieja

[Karren H]

Neighbors will be nosey no mater where you live and if this is the life-style you want then I'd just suck it up and go out enfemme where you currently live.. Maybe try to time it when there less people out and about.. You move to a new place and the issues will be the same, in my humble opinion.

[Deborah Jane]

Just an idea......

How about moving to a quieter area with fewer residents close by [i.e the countryside] where you can come and go without anyone noticing you.

[Summer]

Suck it up and do your own thing, I don't think others will notice.
For all they know she could be your younger sister.

Summer

[Joy Carter]

Myself, I can't dress at home because that is part of the deal. Besides, I don't want my neighbors knowing Joy. I under dress, then find a place (a single occupant bath room. Or even a closed factory) to finish dressing. I ware pants mostly, and tops, so I dress and cover up with a big shirt as I leave. Then I take my wig and makeup in bag, and complete the transformation in my car. You can buy a mirror with a bracket, that will allow you prop it up on your steering wheel. Awkward, but it works for me.

[Joanne f]

Small towns can work two ways , if you are lucky then most will just leave you alone, but if you are unlucky then it is not long before they all know where you live and make you a target.
Whereas in a city you can just get lost in amongst all the people providing that you avoid any trouble spots.
Even towns that are close to each other can very so much in attitudes, but remember once out there is no going back .

[Rita B]

It helps if your car is in a garage and you have an automatic garage door opener. Unfortunately, I don't. I live on a busy street and I have to assume that just about everybody knows by now that I am a crossdresser. During the winter months when it gets dark earlier, it is easier to get out of the house dressed . I usually go to a club called Tiffany every Tuesday night and come back late and most always dressed as Rita. Now the place on the street where I have to park is directly across my neighbor's house and he has a security camera aimed at the street in front of his house. The other night when I came home, I was wearing this cute little silk two piece outfit. Now I knew that the skirt was not very tight on me but when I reached into the back seat to retrieve my makeup bag and stuff, my skirt fell right down around my ankles in the middle of the street. Thank God it was dark even though I was under a street light. I wonder if it showed up on his camera!

[KatGreene]

Hi All!

I live on my own, in a house, in a town of around 20,000 people, surrounded by countryside ----with other towns quite close.

I also live quite near a city of 500,000. In fact, where I used to live!

To leave my own home dressed, (in daylight), is difficult currently, as I don't wish to alienate people who know me, and the thought occurred to me, that if I removed into the city again, there would be less nosy-ness and interest by the neighbours. But people are people everywhere.....

I would add that I am in a cul-de-sac, "neighbourhood watch" in operation.
I would be the first to agree that it's not ideal.

Is it just a question of "tough-ing" it out, like first time shopping ---which I've done several times, en femme?
And those who are unpleasant, I can do without them anyway?

Be glad of your thoughts please.....

Sonia Greene X

Hiya, we have the same surname! And I'm guessing you're a Bristolian. (Don't know the demonym... o.O). =]

My key, default advice is to just be yourself. There is always the risk of alienating someone when being open about something. Those who are truly worthy of your time, attention and care are those who accept you as you.

Moving is rather a big step to take for this alone. Why not try going out in a group or with friends? Or maybe become part of the Neighbourhood Watch? =]

I agree that's it's not ideal, but please, please don't let anyone stop you being yourself.

Kat xx

[Fab Karen]

If you have friends living next door or something who'd judge you for it ( not really friends are they, then ) you can either move or just do your thing & not care what other people think. Most neighbors aren't paying that much attention. Personally, I don't care what my neighbors are doing ( that doesn't involve something like murder ), and I don't care what they may or may not think of me, it's MY life. Never had a problem because of it.

[Dressing Jill]

I love small communities. and nosy neighbors as they provide the best security. Law enforcement is a joke. I don't know why our jails are full.

Anyways we are a crafty bunch and I am sure you will find a way..

I get dressed up and than put on some extra large men cloths over them and put my wig on after I have left. It works and I am the pres of a lake community. I know my neighbors are watching 24/7....


Hugs

Jill

[DonnaT]

It the kids in neighborhoods that can be a problem more than the adults.

I know one UK lady who couldn't take the taunting from one kid any longer, and wasn't getting support from the police, so she walked in front of a train.

[Sonia Greene]

Thanks for your suggestions.....I'm already considering some of them seriously.

A great comfort to know there are kind helpers in this world.

Sonia

[noeleena]

Hi..Sonia I.d go with Katie on that .. the other detail is how well do you know your neighbour.s i know its not quite the same in the u k as us over here in n z . yet i would tell them then you dont have to hide ... its not really that hard. sounds hard . in our small place of under 3500 people i was known anyway buisness & friends . were all told ... for some this may not be a good way to do it . only you know the people there . i am out all the time . my point is we dont have to hide just be our selfs ...
...noeleena...

[Susieboots]

Hi Kat, I live in the South West (you can probably guess where as I've put Somerset on my profile) and as there's only 3 cities here, then like Kat, I guess you mean Bristol which is probably more TV friendly anyway.
I know what you mean about going out in the day as I have the same problem as you, but to be honest after the initial panic I realised that most people don't really notice what goes on around them and that most people are at work. Night time is more difficult for me as everyone is around.
Also, if you live alone they might think you've got a lady visiting.
Like Kat said, don't be put off, just take it at your on speed.
I used to go out dressed (without the wig & makeup)with baggy clothes on top and then change at a secluded spot, difficult for the makeup!!
But eventually I took the bull by the horns and just went out complete.
My scariest moment was a while ago when my wife had come home for dinner and left the key in the back door which meant I had to go in, in full view, through the front door. Nobody even noticed, probably thought it was my wife! I've even passed my neighbour pulling out his drive!!
Anyway good luck Sonia and take it easy

Susie xx

[mklinden2010]

>>>To leave my own home dressed, (in daylight), is difficult currently, as I don't wish to alienate people who know me, and the thought occurred to me, that if I removed into the city again, there would be less nosy-ness and interest by the neighbours. But people are people everywhere.....


Day or night, it's the same to me - I just go!

Personally, I am not a shopper. But, I do like to meet friends, run errands, do things like that... Sometimes it's more convenient to "double up" and dress for the day as I do the bank thing, etc. So, I do...

I'm always on the way to/from a party, "considering a costume," and so forth. Just have something to say, if need be.

Better, just go on about your business like you were wearing a good men's suit and tie to the grocery, garage, dry cleaners, etc. If you act normally and look people in the eye, most people know how to follow a lead and tend to their own affairs.

Live your life. Do what you want and learn how to do better by trying.

I still get a kick, by the way, in being suddenly all dressed up and on my way somewhere and I remember I have to take out the trash, pick up the mail, whatever. Rather than be scared about it, I count it as a bonus to my day: "Watch this!" It's fun and there really is no downside.

"What? Oh, yeah, that must have been that party thing.... Did you see my shoes? Tall, huh?"

[Sonia Greene]

Hi Kat, I live in the South West (you can probably guess where as I've put Somerset on my profile) and as there's only 3 cities here, then like Kat, I guess you mean Bristol which is probably more TV friendly anyway.
I know what you mean about going out in the day as I have the same problem as you, but to be honest after the initial panic I realised that most people don't really notice what goes on around them and that most people are at work. Night time is more difficult for me as everyone is around.
Also, if you live alone they might think you've got a lady visiting.
Like Kat said, don't be put off, just take it at your on speed.
I used to go out dressed (without the wig & makeup)with baggy clothes on top and then change at a secluded spot, difficult for the makeup!!
But eventually I took the bull by the horns and just went out complete.
My scariest moment was a while ago when my wife had come home for dinner and left the key in the back door which meant I had to go in, in full view, through the front door. Nobody even noticed, probably thought it was my wife! I've even passed my neighbour pulling out his drive!!
Anyway good luck Sonia and take it easy

Susie xx

A very positive approach Sib......and I have to get to my car from the house, perhaps 15yds.
But I am single now, so if my car has a woman in it, leaving my house?
I think I'll have to just do it, like first time out in a town centre!
I'm glad you wrote....it all helps.
One thing, I'm not moving....in case that's worse situation afterwards!!!

LOL

[Hope]

I have lived in the city, and I have lived in the country - and I tend to think that people in both places are sufficiently nosy. It's human nature to be interested in what other people are doing, it is part of being a communal species, it is why TV is so interesting. Folks love to stick their noses in other people's business.

If you live in a downtown apartment building - there would still be plenty of folks around who would see you.

It sounds to me like you are coming up against the question of being open about your dressing, or being in the closet about it. It sounds like you are comfortable with strangers knowing about your dressing - but are afraid of the consequences of having your neighbors know.

Only you can make that decision.

Personally, if it wouldn't lead to my loosing my job - I would tell my neighbors to bite me if they didn't like it. I'm not particularly fond of some of the things they do either... So why should I care if they approve of my wearing a skirt?

But what you think of your neighbors, and how much control over your life you give them, is a decision only you can make.