In the thread "How often do you wear a bra?", Katheryn wondered if there was a connection between cd's and gynecomastia. I will explain my situation and pass on what I have learned and hope those interested will add their comments.
To begin, I started cd'ing at about age 6 when I found a pair of my mother's old panties in the rag bag. As far back as I could remember I always wanted to be a girl, to the point that I paryed every night that when I woke in the morning I would be a girl, of course it never happened. About age 11 I started to grow very nice little breasts, I thought God was finally answering my prayers. I was very happy with this new growth until someone at school noticed and started to tease me. Even with all the teasing I still had the desire to be a gril and I still dressed using what little I had at the time.
Fast forward to 9th grade at a new school in a more urban setting. If I thought the teasing in a small town school was bad, in the new school it was a 1,000 times worse. I was still dressing as much as I could with a lot more clothes than I had before and I was able to fill an A cup without any problem. I was also feeling worse about myself with each passing day. One day a group of 'jocks' grabbed me and took me behind the stairwell, ripped my shirt off and everybody got a free feel. I went home that day and when I found the house empty I got my father's .22 rifle, put a shell in, stuck the muzzle in my mouth and tried to push the trigger. I couldn't get my big toe into the trigger guard and I couldn't find anything that I could use to push the trigger. My mother came home from shopping and I was just able to put the rifle away before she came into my room.
My 4 years in that school were pure hell, no friends, no girlfriends and no social life outside of church. I still dressed whenever possible and had built up a pretty good stash of clothes (why my mother and father never found out is beyond me). I tried to see a therapist but I couldn't get an appointment, they would not talk to a kid without a parent present. I did mention my boobs to our family doctor, he said it was gynecomastia and said it would go away in time. My mother dismissed the whole thing, that was something that wasn't talked about in the 50's. All of those years I still felt I would be much happier as a female, and only felt peace in my life when I was cd'ing. I got a bra that fit (I won't say how), that was the best feeling in the world to put it on and be able to fill it.
I don't want to start listing everything that has happened over the years, it would take too much time and space.
To get back to the connection between gynecomastia and cd'ing, doctors can not put a cause to gyne, some say it is hormones, other say it is just confusion in the development process. I don't know if I grew breasts because of my desire to be female, or if it came from my mother. I do know that once you got em, surgery is the only was to get rid of em. Now days I don't care what anyone else thinks or says, I've had the twins for over 60 years and I wouldn't get rid of em for anything. I was in my 40's when I finally accepted myself for what I am, the hard years are behind me, I am proud of my 36 C's and if someone doesn't like em, they don't have to look. In fact if I could take a pill to make em bigger I would buy a lifetime supply.
Sorry this is so long, but I had to express my opinion. Any comments good or bad are more than welcome.
Renyta
