One foot out of the closet...

[Ashley_1962]

I had a lot of time to reflect during a recent solo trip to Montreal (see my other post in the out and about section for more details), and as part of this reflection I finally came to terms with a few things; the first being by sexuality and the second being the need to tell my close friends about my crossdressing. The main thinking behind the decision to 'come out' is that I realized that I did not want to continue to hide one of the primary reasons for my wife and I separating - it just does not seem honest to me, and also isn't really being fair to her to have to continue to skirt the issue any longer (pardon the pun..).

So, I took the big step and told one of my best male friends over this past week-end. After a great day of golf with him and a few other friends, I told him the truth about my crossdressing and bisexuality. I think his initial reaction could be described as 'shock', but after a few minutes after the initial shock wore off he asked most of the standard questions.. but at the end of the conversation, most importantly he said that he would continue to be my friend and would support me however he could. I know I had a few tears in my eyes at that point.. I also told my xSO and my daughter about sharing this with him and was also a blubbery mess when I informed them.. .

That evening I sent him a note of thanks and a recent picture of 'Ashley' (he said he wanted to see).. he replied today indicating that he still plans to be my friend and is continuing to process what it really means. Most importantly he has said he will still golf with me (and hinted that maybe even with me as Ashley..) but that I would have to continue to use the men's tees.. DAMN.. I was really looking forward to playing from the 'ladies' tees..

I am now planning on informing a number of other close friends (male and female) over the next few weeks. I am keeping my fingers crossed that they are all as understanding and supportive.. but do expect a few bumps along the way.

Just thought I would share, and would love to hear about your own 'coming out' experiences - both good and bad...

Ashley

[TSchapes]

I have told over 40 people at work, my closest family members know, and a number of SA's at a number of stores know. Oh and most of my doctors know. I have not had any fallout.

And what's cool, it's like what happened today. A female co-worker had a lovely longer skirt on, and I told her how much I liked it. And she said, "Thank you, and no you can't have it!" I just laughed, that was great. It's nice to be at ease and at peace with this...

-Tracy

[Miranda09]

Ashley, that took alot courage and I'm really happy to see how well things have turned out for you. Sometimes you've just gotta do what's best for you.

[Hope]

I think if you are presenting as a lady - using the ladies tees is only appropriate... if nothing else - the bra and forms are going to get in the way... or at least you can use them as an excuse.

Sounds to me like you had a good conversation and the best possible outcome.

[Fab Karen]

Nothing takes stress away like not hiding who you are.

[Karren H]

That's awesome!! Maybe next time you go golfing with your friend he won't mind you wearing a cute skirt and teeing off from the womens box? Lol.

[mklinden2010]

Ashley,

There's no such thing as men's or women's tees on a golf course.

There are two to three tee boxes on most courses and the placement relates to the difficulty of play, not sex or gender.

People playing from tees too hard or too easy for their skill level is one of the worst things for the game. Equally skilled players playing from different tee boxes in the same round is not sporting.

Since you currently do not play from the red tees, it would be unsportswomanlike to play from there in the future, unless age or illness were to dictate a more favorable start - to make the game fair and fun for everyone.

As to wearing a skirt while playing... Hey, if you can do it without messing up your score, more power to you!

(And, if it cuts your handicap ten strokes, everyone will be following suit, CD or not...)

[Helen H. Heels]

Hi, you are brave but well backed. Enjoy your new status. I know the marriage breakup is a heart breaker but I have met new friends who support me and encourage me to my feminine side.
Best wishes,
Helen

[LisaM]

Ashley,

That's a wonderful story. Your golfing friend seems like a wonderful person. I hope the rest of the people you tell are as accepting.

[StevieTV]

Ashley,

First congratulations! That was a big step forward for you (and for your friends). I'm happy for you.
Second, in sharing your experiences you help others see it's possible to be open with others and be happy who you are.

Bravo!!

[celeste26]

Now we need others to follow her so that we can all be out!

[Alice B]

That took a lot of strength to do. I could never tell my golf buddies, even though several are good friends. My legs are always shaved, but nothing has ever been said. I have always though it would be fun to play a round as Alice, but that will never happen here. Too well known at too many courses.

[Jacqui]

1) I'm glad that your friend didn't get teed-off after you told him.
2) Did you ever try to swing with breasts? It's different. Easier to keep your left arm straight and helps to slow down your swing. You might sacrifice distance but gain the fairway.
3) Have you thought about a book, "How Crossdressing Can Improve Your Golf Game"?

Seriously, Ash, I'm happy that you can share your feelings with a good friend. It's got to be a big relief to tell someone close to you who will be supportive.

But I think a femme golf outfit should be your next priority.

Jacqui

[Ashley_1962]

Thanks so much for the words of support & encouragement.. it's still 'early days' but I believe that letting my close friends know will really show who my true friends are, and if some choose to end our friendship then it will not be a great loss.

As for the 'ladies tees' comment.. I thought that might provoke a response, I know they are technically the 'forward' tees - but if I ever play as Ashley, there is no doubt they will be 'the ladies' tee's to me. It will definitely be interesting to see how the breast forms impact/change my swing.

And a sexy woman's golf ensemble is definitely on my shopping list...

Ashley

[Dana Lane]

Now that is a true friend! Congratulations!