Had "the chat" on Monday night.

[vicky00x]

Well. Im new to this site. I found it only today. On Monday i finally took a deep breath and confessed to my girlfriend of 5 years. It was certainly the hardest thing ive ever done. I told her about my desires to dress in womens clothes occasionally and that it had been with me since i was about 4. She was of course shocked and confused but very comforting and kind of understanding. We had a really long chat, it was weird saying these things out loud but really exciting. She said she wasn't all that keen on me dressing fully infront of her and we could start slowly with things like tights etc. Then last night in bed we talked more and she went to her wardrobe and got a very nice black dress out and asked if i wanted wear it. I just nodded with my heart racing. She then slipped ill over my head and zipped it up. We then just got into bed and cuddled for About an hour. Today we talked again and she is going shopping tomorrow for a full outfit for me to wear on Saturday night for a quiet evening in with a meal and wine. Im so excited and very scared at the same time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading and i advise everyone to spill the beans. These last 2 days have probably been the happiest ive felt in years. vicky00x

[tricia_uktv]

Go slowly and you will have fun. It will scare both of you!

[ruthie801]

my wife used to allow me to wear her lingerie with her all the time

[LisaM]

I agree with Tricia---go slowly, don't overwhelm her, be careful of the 'pink fog' that so many describe. Let her learn at her own pace. Introduce her to this board/site---and have fun.

[kristinacd55]

Hi Vicky and welcome to the site. That's great that it was well received, just don't go too overboard. Looks like you've got a great gf!
BTW, my wife doesn't want to see me dressed enfemme, although she's done my makeup once and is kind of cool about it.

[Carole Cross]

werll done for coming out. I know how nerve wracking that can be after coming out to my family about my need to transition two months ago. I hope your gf will stay with you, just don't try to rush her and let her set the limits. It seems as though you are off to a good start with her acceptance.

[JulieC]

echo a thousand times what's been said, GO SLOWLY. Do not overwhelm her. There's no race here, just take it bit by bit.

[Patricia1]

Take it easy & only take what you're given. Boundaries are important. Alos hold down the enthusiasm so it's more like appreciation.

[Emma Chase]

I have to agree with the rest of the girls ....

Don't force this... go slow, even to the point where your GF is the one that raises it with you.

Remember ... you have known of your fem side since you were young. Your GF has know of it for only a few days, although she sounds VERY supportive don't forget the fact she still might have some adjustment to this. ( So try to keep the 'pink fog' in check)

Congrats for having the 'balls' to come out to her.


Emma

[KristinSkye]

Congradulations! I'm sure it took a lot out of you to bring it up but it sounds like it paid off and you got one of the best responses from her you could have. You're certainly very lucky, enjoy the new openess in your relationship

[Miranda09]

Just go with it...take it slow....and have fun. You have a special SO there. Ease her into this and let her determine the pace, which sounds like what she's doing.

[Kristy]

She sounds really great =)

[trisha59]

Rule # 2 in the CD handbook GO SLOW.
Rule # 3 Don't be surprised if she her thoughts go back and forth on your cding.

[vicky00x]

Thank you guys for your support and advice. I have managed to see through the fog! We are not going to do what we planned for Saturday and take it slower. She asked me to buy an outfit that i like online and we'll keep it in the wardrobe for an evening when she is feeling spontaneous and curious! Thats all fine with me. By tomorrow ill have a lush dress and heels of my own in our wardrobe. Ill take it all at her pace and see what happens next. X

[LindaMarie]

Vicky,

Congratulations on telling your girlfriend and having it go so well.

I'd only echo what you've heard from so many others here:

Go slowly
Don't be surprised if your girlfriend experiences ups and downs about the whole thing
Go slowly

My wife was initially very accepting and curious about my crossdressing. It was such a relief that I went too quickly, dressed up too often and took her acceptance for granted. Things went downhill quickly. I wish I could have a "do over."

Best wishes to you and your girlfriend.

Linda

[TSchapes]

Not that I'm counting (I think someone else claimed they were) but it looks like another victory for coming out to the SO. Bravo!

Love, Tracy

[erica12b]

for her too, really try and make it a special night for both of you , good luck

[Melanie R]

Vicky, yes take it slow and let your wife write the script on your dressing. I will never forget the first time I was dressed enfemme completely in front of my wife. This occured one week after I told her about Melanie which was one month after we were married. She was eager to see how I looked dressed in her clothes. I did my makeup and wig and appeared in front of her when she returned home from her job as principal of a school. She took one look at me and said, "I love you but you need help". We then began a one week course on how to dress and act like a lady and not a hooker. After that we began to purchase complete outfits for Melanie. Today 28 years later Melanie has more clothes than most genetic females.

Yesterday I dressed in a casual but professional looking outfit to go to a committee meeting where I am the only crossdresser on the committee that is preparing to build a youth shelter for GLBT youths. My wife took one look and told me that I looked beautiful and further added as she stroked my face "your skin is so smooth and beautiful". Life is so great!

[AmandaM]

That's great! I've been out dressed with my wife in public. I can dress anytime I want at home, and sleep in it too, as long as the kids ain't home. She buys me things if I need them also. I just gotta ask.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

That's awesome, Vicky! I'm glad your girlfriend took it well and seems willing to be supportive of you. I love that she's even trying to slowly participate in it. Take it slow (as everyone is advising) and enjoy it with her. Keep a close eye on how she reacts to things and keep the lines of communication open.

I'm sure if you take things at the right pace, the two of you will be soon enjoying some amazing times together!

[Jonianne]

Yes, that is so wonderful Vicky! One thing I would add is to sit down with her and work out boundries and groundrules. My ex was accepting just before and after we married, but we did not work out groundrules and the pink fog of finding someone accepting clouded my view and I ended up going farther than she was comfortable and ended up back in the closet.

With my wife now, I learned from my mistake and we worked out boundries 10 years ago, long before we were married. That was one of the best things we could have done, it gave both of us a safe place to operate/play in. And because I was faithful with them, she has actually pushed me 'out and about' further than I ever imagined going. It has been great!

[Annie D]

I want to echo what others have said: go slowly and continue to communicate. Inquire about her feelings about "this", then question her feelings about "that". I like to use the saying, "it is like adjusting the picture on your television; you never know that you have the best picture until you have gone too far".

[sissystephanie]

I can only repeat what so many others have said! GO SLOW!! But in addition, speaking as an older CD with lots of experience, make sure that she knows you are still the MAN she fell in love with! You may feel feminine in your pretty clothes, but let her know that you are a man under that lacey look. My wife and I got along that way for over 49 years before she passed away! I had told her before we were married!

[Celeste]

I also think one of big ice breakers is exposure to other sites and other media,just letting her know that what your doing is not the oddest thing out there and is certainly no longer a dreaded weight to be carried.Get her to the S O's section of the site,then there will be support and added exposure ,hopefully that will aid in getting rid of any predetermined ideas she may have concerning cd's.My that took guts, congratulations,she will see its your honesty that is the crucial factor here.

[vicky00x]

Hey. Well since my last post i have had more chats with my girlfriend, each time seems more relaxed. She is understanding a bit more. I told her that when i see a hot female celebrity wearing something amazing i wanted to feel what its like to wear it. She said she can relate to that. She has also seen my dress and Mary Jane heels i bought. Not on me mind. She encouraged me to try them on while she was out on Sunday. She said you had better hurry and try them on because you only have 2 weeks to send them back. Last night she said i can borrow one of her skirts that is to big for her. I think that was a big step for her to say that. I smiled and said thanks without looking as excited as i felt. Sorry for rambling but i needed to tell someone! X