Lately, I’ve decided to be more open about being a crossdresser. Meaning, that while I have been out and about as Monika for years quite comfortably, in the past I’ve kept Monika separate from my male-self in most situations. For example, as Monika I’ve avoided many of my neighborhood grocery stores and such because they know my male-self as a regular customer. Well several weeks ago, I decided so what. I now will go into the local shops knowing that they will know me. I really don’t like big-box supermarkets, so I have a tendency to avoid them when I can.
It’s been good. I’ve been letting my hair grow and haven’t worn a wig at all this year. A few weeks ago I went to one local shop which I often frequent. There is a young 20-something sales girl there that I often chat with when ringing up my purchases. Well, I walk in a few weeks ago as Monika and go up to her to pay. She had this stunned look on her face. I had to stand in line, and she saw me in line. She was quite surprised and kept looking my way. I can tell she even got a bit flustered. When it was my turn to pay, she was just asking if I found everything I needed, how was I doing, etc. She was obviously not going to mention what was really on her mind. So I just simply said, I guess I look different today. She laughed a little and said yes. She said I looked nice. The other clerk standing next to her said I looked gorgeous (bless her heart). Well she has since seen me many times as Monika. We chat as often as before. She loved my purse today and was talking about that.
Also today, I decided to go to a local grocery shop where I am well known as a guy. I walk in and pick up my things. The owner at first asks about my brother. I tell her that it is me. She says that I looked similar to my male-self but just didn’t realize that it was in fact me. She really loved my look. She told me that I was pretty (bless her heart too) and complimented me on my outfit, my manicure, etc. She liked the fact that some days I’m a guy and others a woman.
In the past few weeks, I’ve also been to the bank several times as Monika where it is obvious when I present my papers with my male name that I am crossdressed. Everyone is just nice and friendly.
I’ve really reached a place where I am really comfortable with myself. While there are some parts of my life that need to be kept separate, such as the workplace, for the most part I am unconcerned about people knowing all about me. I used to stress more about passing and being read. Though I know I pass well for the most part, I don’t really care if people see me as a crossdresser. Even when people know, I get treated well.
Sorry for the long post. I just thought I’d share with you all a new level of comfort that I am feeling about myself.
Originally Posted by MonikaW
