Finally Got My Girly Day!!

**Kathi Lake** · 06-12-2009, 12:03 AM

I promised that I would write the results of my "Girly Day" adventures tonight. It was a very long day, and I'm tired, but a promise is a promise, right?

As I said in a previous post, work has been stressful and I needed a break from the stress. My way to relax? Gettin' girly! I planned some of my favorite activities - shopping, makeup, manicures and more. Here's how it went (note, I'll split it into a couple of posts):

My day actually started last night with a waxing and bleaching session to tame my arm hair (note to self - waxing underarm hair hurts!). I'm not incredibly furry, but I think that what I have detracts from the look I'm going for. This morning, I took a nice long shower and shaved my legs. I then did a nice close shave. Feeling good, I left for my appointment at Ulta Beauty where my friend was going to do a makeover/consultation using a new foundation I've been looking at - Full Coverage from Smashbox. She tried a few different shades and found the one that was best for my skintone. By this time, the other girls are coming over to say hello and chat. There were the usual statements along the line of "Your skin is so pretty" "I love your eyes", etc. One of the newer girls came in (very young and very cute!) and said she was late because she didn't have any pants, so she got a new pair at Ross. Knowing her size, I said I didn't know Ross carried size 0. That started a chorus of "You skinny bi***es make us sick," "Rub it in, you little size 2" and the like. It being Spring (according to the calendar, anyway), she did my eyes in pinkish earth tones. It really looked cute. Since my kids are home from school, I had to go in drab, so when she had finished with my makeup I went to change.

I was planning on wearing my new pair of Talbots khakis and a cute, flowy Spring top, but the weather didn't exactly cooperate. Rain and a high of 65 degrees does not go well with a light, gauzy top. I wore my new black ribbed top and my gorgeous silk shrug instead. When I came out, they did their usual fussing over me (although I'm older than all of them, they seem to act very motherly to me), complimenting me, and telling me how much they hate my body.

They really liked my outfit, said I always had such cute clothes, and promised again to go shopping with me some time. After a round of hugs, it was time for my next stop (continued in next post).

Below are a few pics they took of me before I left. By the way, keep checking back for more long-winded girly goodness!

Kathi

**Alana65** · 06-12-2009, 12:22 AM

Lookin' fine, Kathi......

**Kathi Lake** · 06-12-2009, 12:24 AM

After getting pretty, it was time to go to the bank to get some shopping funds (I like to call it "Fashion Industry Bailout"). I walked in to my normal branch. The teller recognized me after a few seconds with a big "Hi!" She said that this was a first as she had never seen me dressed. She had me take a few steps back and turn around. She had said the other girls still talked about the last time I came in and said she agreed - I did make a pretty woman, and wow, I was skinny. After the bank, I went to my friendly local mastectomy supply store for a new bra. My white bra was showing through my top a little bit, and I needed a black plunge bra. The only black bra I have has a kind of camisole piece of lace across the cups. I walked in to friendly smiles and more comments on my clothes ("Where do you find all of these cute outfits?!"). We did a fitting and found a cute bra. They told me how cute my boobies were looking. I reminded them that I had them to thank for that, but they wouldn't hear of it. "It's not just the forms, we have other guys that come in here for that, you just wear them really well." We chatted for a bit. They remarked on how comfortable I am being out like this and said they had a hard time seeing me as anything other than a woman (awwww). I told them that the confidence I feel is in a large part due to the help they have given me in the area of a woman's most "upfront" asset.

New bra in hand (well, on chest actually), I went to get my nails done. I went to a local nail place that does a fantastic job. I've had manicures before where they slap a few coats of polish on you and send you on your way. This place gives you a great hand massage, does a coat of polish after a very through prep job, sticks you under a UV lamp, does the second coat, UV lamp and a quick spray of polish quick set. They even fished my car keys out of my purse. That's service with a smile! I sure wish I knew Vietnamese so I could tell what was going on though. They had their adorable daughter, Lily, running around the store. She is 15 months and very cute. If her older sister is any indicator, she is going to be a stunner! She kept wanting me to pick her up and sit in my lap, which I gladly did until it was time for polish. I chose a cute color - Suzy Sells Sushi by the Seashore by Opi. It's a nice wash of color - not too pink - not too coral. After my nails were done, it was off to Talbots, where I wanted to find a nice basic white blouse that would go with my dressy black skirt.

Continued in next post.

Kathi

**Alana65** · 06-12-2009, 12:33 AM

Gee Kathi,

At first I was going to say that someday I would just love to go shopping with you.........but then I thought, yeah right.......you'd look even skinnier next to me.

**Miranda09** · 06-12-2009, 12:34 AM

You look great Kathi. Such a nice figure too.

It's really encourageing to see how comfortable you are going out in public. Sounded like you had a wonderful day.

**Kathi Lake** · 06-12-2009, 12:43 AM

Why, oh why do I love Talbots so much?

I've always been a fan of classic, elegant style. Talbots does that very well. While some would dismiss it as an "old ladies clothing store," I have found some great pieces there. The ladies there have almost universally treated me as nothing other than a lady. One old biddy had a problem with me being in the store, but I haven't seen her in months. Problem solved!

My favorite bubbly Latina wasn't there today. Pity. She usually fills the dressing room with outfits she think I'd look good in and/or like. She always hovers, but in a nice way, complimenting my outfits, giving constructive criticism, and comparing her body to mine (I think she's too hard on herself and too complimentary to me, but I guess that's a SA's job

) The SA that took care of me today is probably my second-favorite anyway, so we still had fun. In the end, I didn't find a blouse that I liked there, or anything really. Bummer as they were having a 40% off sale. I did try on quite a few outfits, and the pictures are below. I wish the bamboo-print dress was a bit more fitted as it just hangs there under the bust (which is why I'm gathering the excess). It's the price I have to pay for needing a size 6 to 8 top and size 0 to 2 bottoms. Dresses just don't fit me very well. Pity, because I love them!

Here are the pictures from Talbots. I keep coming back to that bamboo dress. I'm sure that one day I'll break down and get it. I'm not sure I like the white blouse - it's not very fitted and kinda bunchy.

Kathi

**Miranda09** · 06-12-2009, 12:49 AM

Wow...nice outfits. Maybe I should be checking out Talbots for my wardrobe. I like the styles.

**GINA-CD** · 06-12-2009, 01:04 AM

Tell me you got that pencil skirt home! It looks great with the black top or the white blouse. What a day or should I say what a girl's day you had! You look so comfy and happy!

**Kathi Lake** · 06-12-2009, 01:11 AM

After Talbots, I went across the street to the Fashion Place Mall. Nordstrom has a MAC store, and I wanted to say hi to the guys and girls there. I told the artist that helped me last time that after looking at my eyes a bit closer, the various pinks my friend at Ulta used on my eyes were a bit too pink. She took a couple of swipes with a few colors and ta da - Spring smoky eye!

I then walked the entire mall, stopping in clothing store after clothing store. For me, shopping is relaxing, and I was feeling very relaxed by this point! I tried on some cute things in Ann Taylor, Down East Outfitters, J Crew and more. As I was passing BeBe, I remembered the beautiful sexy duster and dress that I had gotten there before. As I have been trying to get out of my "boring clothing" shell, I thougt a visit was in order. I was greeted by one of the most stunningly beautiful Asian women I have ever seen. She was about 5' 6" (if you include the 5" heels she was wearing), and had the most incredible body poured into some incredibly sexy clothes. Sigh. I guess no matter how I'm dressed, deep down, I'm still very much an admirer of the female species.

We chatted a bit about everyday stuff - mostly the sucky weather and her very cute shoes - and as we were walking through the store, I stopped suddenly at the most incredible dress. Imagine a bustier coupled to a miniskirt. I said that I just had to try that on! She smiled and went to get a room ready. She asked me my shoe size. Puzzled, I told her a 10. She found a pair of the shoes she was wearing, but in tan. These shoes not only have a 5" heel, but about an inch of platform to them as well. These are not the shoes to use for running after a taxi!

Anyway, as I was trying on the dress, she threw back the curtain and said, "Hey Kathi, I found some other things you'd look hot in." I've never experienced the "barge-in" before, and was a bit taken aback. As I listened to her helping other girls, I noticed that she did it with them as well, so I guess it's considered normal? The dress, unfortunately (as you'll see in the picture), hit me like most other dresses do - right under the bust. Pity as it was seriously cute (and marked way down!). I did get a lot of compliments from the other customers out by the three-way mirror on the dress and my legs (geez, always the legs! I have other body parts too, you know.

) Some of the other dresses she brought fit kind of the same. Smiling, she said to wait there. She barged in again and held up what looked like a bunch of loose shimmery cloth. It was a pair of harem pants linked to a bustier. It looked really cute on. It clung to the curves I have, and bulged out at the appropriate places making me look like I had curves where I don't (hips, mostly). However, being BeBe, the price was a bit out there. I'm all for economic recovery, but paying $168.00 for one outfit (unless it was really, really cute) isn't going to happen. Ah well, as always, it is sometimes more fun trying clothes on than actually buying them.

After all that shopping and walking, it was time for a break. I got a Coke (and a smile) at the food court. I always love people-watching. This time, I expected to be the watchee, rather than the watcher. After awhile, it dawned on me, I hadn't thought of it much, but I really don't remember any double-takes, whispers, stares, laughs, pointing, or running and screaming while walking around the mall. I don't think I was particularly passable today. I mean, if you look from the neck down, there aren't many clues that I'm not a woman (except the darn hands!). The face, though. I'm definitely what you would call a double-bagger. Oddly enough, if I was read much today, I sure didn't see it much. Score!

More in the next post.

Kathi

**Sally2005** · 06-12-2009, 01:19 AM

Looking great! What a fun filled adventure. Makeup, nails, clothing...hard to fit in to one day!

**Sheila** · 06-12-2009, 01:27 AM

Kathi looks like your day was fun, can I make a suggestion and not meant to offend, if you pehaps held your free arm (when doing the self portrait) loose ascroos your tum it might look slighly more relaxed, and if using an digi came instead of a phone cam, the hand on hip and hip slighly pushed forward and angled looks less posed for the camera, and just averting your eyes (but not your head) either slightly to the left or rght makes a big difference in the picture as well.

Sorry if I offend don't mean to.

Sheila

**Kathi Lake** · 06-12-2009, 01:45 AM

Gina, that gorgeous pencil skirt was already mine. It's a Trina Turk that I picked up at a boutique in Park City. It was normally over $300.00, but a very nice store owner let me have it for $50.00. Yay!

Feeling good after resting at the food court, I went back to Nordstrom's to look in the shoe department. I saw this very cute pair of Jessica Simpson flats (not an oxymoron, believe it or not). I was trying to catch the attention of one of the female SAs, but before I could, I heard a "How can I help you today, Ma'am?" I turned around and there stood one of the "clean-cuttiest" most LDS-looking guys I've seen (this IS Utah, after all). Now, I don't usually have a problem with being helped by men, but I do feel some uneasiness as there have been some bad vibes in the past. I asked him if he had the shoes in a size 10. He went back to check and I swallowed my fear and sat down. He brought out about five shoe boxes. He said he had also brought out some other shoes he thought I would look cute in.

Usually, when I go shoe shopping, it's at DSW, Payless, or other places where you try on the shoes yourself. This was my first experience where the guy takes your nylon-clad foot and guides it into the shoe. It was kind of disconcerting the first time, but soon felt very nice! I didn't care for the other shoes (Hey, he tried. That was sweet - or just good salesmanship), but loved the flats. They're a natural leather color with brass buckles. I said I would take them. He seemed surprised that I would decide so quickly. I said that despite my appearance, I was a guy, after all. I see what I like, and make the decision. He said his job would be much simpler if other women (it was nice that he kept using feminine pronouns while addressing me, etc.) were like me when it came to shopping for shoes.

I told him to take the shoes to the register and I was going to cruise the clearance racks. I was looking for a pair of strappy, dressy heels for my new black party dress I bought a month ago. When he brought the shoes to the register, I thought the service would end. I was wrong. He helped me look and select a few pairs, and then brought the matching shoe from the back room. Then it was three more pairs worth of having my feet gently placed in strappy heels and then buckled for me. Ahhhhh! A girl could get used to this! We finally found a very cute pair. As he was buckling me in, he said "Wow, you have very slim ankles! I'll have to take these in back and punch a few more holes in the ankle strap." He came back in a few minutes and they were perfect! I paid for both pair, chatting with him and two women about why I do this. I told them that I simply had fun dressing this way. They thought it was very cool, loved my confidence and demeanor as a woman, and said that I was brave for doing this in Utah. I thanked them for their attitudes. They said that they were simply reflecting my attitude towards them back to me, and thanked me for being nice. Apparenly, not all (or many) Nordstrom's customers are very nice. Pity.

As I was nearing the exit with my new purchases, I remembered that I had left my Coke on one of the counters. I went back and asked the guy if he had seen it. He hadn't, but one of the girls did and had thrown it away. I said it was OK, but he wouldn't have that. He took me back to their coffee bar (He even carried my bag for me. How sweet!) and got me another one. I thanked him again and I was off to my next stop.

Continued in next post.

Kathi

**Kathi Lake** · 06-12-2009, 01:49 AM

Originally Posted by Sheila

Sorry if I offend don't mean to.

Sheila

Sheila, you could never offend when you're trying to help!

I should have apologized in the first post about the darn phone camera pictures. My wife is at a nursing conference and took my camera, so I was stuck with this. Hope these are better than nothing.

Thanks also for you help on posing. I'm still trying to get that down but just aren't sure how to move yet. It's a work in progress.

Kathi

**Persephone** · 06-12-2009, 02:11 AM

You look awesome! And yes, Miss 6-8 top, 0-2 bottom, you are a skinny B***h! That BeBe outfit is killer! I would definitely have trouble at that price, but, damn, you look good in it!

Breathlessly waiting for the next installment, Kathi! It sounds like you had a really jam-packed and wonderful day!

**Evelyn74** · 06-12-2009, 02:12 AM

Kathi,
Sounds like a fun. I think you look great also. I would love to chat

**Kathi Lake** · 06-12-2009, 02:13 AM

Off to one of my new favorite stores - White House/Black Market (WHBM). I was hoping my favorite pixie/sales associate, Michelle, was there. The squeal of girly glee I heard when I stepped foot in the store told me she was.

I told her that I was looking for a crisp white long-sleeved blouse. The look on her face told me that my odds weren't good. Since it is Spring, they only have short-sleeved blouses of the type I was looking for. I told her that I was also in the market for something seriously cute. That got her smiling! She then went on a whirlwind around the store pulling dresses, skirts, tops, camis and more. I almost needed two dressing rooms to fit it all! After about 45 minutes of outfit after outfit (well, and lots of chatting), I finally settled on a sheer white ruffled top (picture below). It's not quite what I was looking for, but was very cute anyway.

About midway through my marathon try-on session, a group of young women came in and started trying on dresses for a wedding. Apparently, this happens quite a lot there. One of the mothers realized (after about 10 minutes - she must have been very nearsighted, poor thing

) that I was not, in fact, a woman. I heard her whisper (sort of) to her daughter, "There's a man trying on dresses in the next room!" Her daughter said, "Yeah mom, I knew right away. Don't worry, it's cool. Plus, have you seen him! He's hotter than me in a dress!" I made sure to give her a big smile next time I came out (and a very big smile to her mom

). She said (kiddingly), "If one of my bridesmaids craps out, I want you to take her place, but you have to wear a long skirt, because those legs would take the attention off of me." Ah, youth.

After chatting with the bridal party some more, I took my blouse up to the counter. 5% off for being a frequent shopper, and another 10% off coupon got me a cute blouse for under $30.00. Nice!

I ten went to Bella Forte, a boutique where the prices sometimes seem to have commas in them. Yikes! Still, a girl can dream. I tried on a few dresses, but nothing was working today. I had a great chat with a new SA I had never met. She has only worked there for a few months. I asked her if she had heard of me. "Oh, yes!" she said. "But you're skinnier and cuter that they told me (Oh, please!). Do you ever eat?!" I told her of my freakish metabolism and reminded her that trying to find guy's pants that are 26X34 is a bit of a challenge. I said my goodbyes and was off to my next stop.

Continued (finished, actually (finally)) in next post.

Kathi

**Charla McBee** · 06-12-2009, 02:15 AM

Is it wrong for me to hate you in an envious sort of way?

**Kathi Lake** · 06-12-2009, 02:34 AM

As I was leaving Salt Lake City, it dawned on me that I was always going to look for a transgender support group. I stopped by the Utah Pride Center where I was going to check the bulletin board. As I walked in, I saw a few TGs, and they definitely saw me. A few of them followed me and asked if I was there for the transgender support group meeting. Hello, serendipity!

The meeting was due to start in a few minutes, so I chatted with them while we waited for the room to open up. It was a great meeting. As I was introducing myself, I followed their guidelines for name, choice of gender pronouns and where you were on the TG spectrum. I said I was Kathi, and as long as people addressed me with respect, I didn't care what pronous they used. On the spectrum issue, I told them that I was a simple crossdresser and that I dressed this way to both make real to the world a part of me that is normally kept hidden, and to occasionally relieve the stress of being a man - and all the societal pressure that entailed. They seemed to take that OK. Being a crossdresser in a room full of trans-men and women can be a bit, . . . humbling? Disconcerting?

Anyway, the meeting went well and I made some good contacts. As it was now 8:00 (Good Lord, what a full day!), it was time for this princess to turn back into a pumpkin - especially since my makeup job was a few hours past its expiration date.

I realized that my normal changing place (Ulta, where the day began) was now closed. My kids were home, so what to do? Luckily, I had the forethought to always carry makeup remover towelettes in my car. Perfect for those long lunch breaks at Ulta where someone has tested a new eyeshadow, foundation, or just having fun putting makeup on me. That worked great for the makeup, but I still had the problem of my nails. I drove home and hoped that my kids were in the basement watching TV. Score one for the siren song that is TV. They were in the basement. I went downstairs, told them to go to bed and started typing all this. I sure hope my wife has polish remover left.

I sure hope you enjoyed this long, long post half as much (heck, a quarter!) as I enjoyed my day. As I said in the beginning, I know of no better way to relax than getting dressed up and interacting with people and letting them know that we are normal, sane non-baby-eating, or otherwise strange, people. I love the smells of makeup. I love the sound of heels striking tile. I love the sounds of compliments - no matter how misguided or undeserved. I love, . . . being me.

Kathi

**Kathi Lake** · 06-12-2009, 02:42 AM

Originally Posted by Miranda09

Wow...nice outfits. Maybe I should be checking out Talbots for my wardrobe. I like the styles.

Do! As I said, some of the items you find there can be surprising for a store that caters to the more "seasoned" customer.

Originally Posted by Sally2005

Looking great! What a fun filled adventure. Makeup, nails, clothing...hard to fit in to one day!

. . . and yet, I was going to try my darndest to fit it all in. The way I see it, I can always rest another day - there's shopping to be done today!

Originally Posted by Persephone

You look awesome! And yes, Miss 6-8 top, 0-2 bottom, you are a skinny B***h! That BeBe outfit is killer! I would definitely have trouble at that price, but, damn, you look good in it!

Breathlessly waiting for the next installment, Kathi! It sounds like you had a really jam-packed and wonderful day!

Thanks! I do like sexier clothes sometimes. True, it makes it a bit harder to blend when you're the center of attention, but, . . .

Originally Posted by Agnieszka Svetlanova

Is it wrong for me to hate you in an envious sort of way?

Yes. Yes it is.

You should love yourself. That helps your attitude, which in turn helps others love you right back. Hating me in a spiteful way, however? That's just normal womanly behavior, in my book.

Kathi

**Sara Jessica** · 06-12-2009, 06:57 AM