How it happened

[Jaclyn NM]

Do you ever wonder how it happened that we developed into crossdressers. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I embrace my crossdressing, and wouldn't change for anything. I just have a curious nature, and often wonder why about many things. There are obviously many of us, judging not only by this web site, but also the fact that many kepp their crossdressing hidden or deny their desires. So I wonder where it all starts, is it physical or psychological, are we just born this way, or do we develop it in early childhood. Anyway, I don't want to get too deep here, as I said I'm just curious as to what some of you might have thought or learned. And once again, I don't want to change, I'm quite happy the way I am, thoroughly enjoying my crossdressing!

[serinalynn]

I was 11 and home alone when mom and dad went out for the night, I went to look in moms lingerie drawer. A pair of nylon panties, a nylon full slip and a pair of nylon stockings and I was hooked. Female clothing had possibilities for me. More Couriosity than anything else.

[Sophie_C]

There was no development, my own nature has always been naturally feminine. In fact, I believe all people are born with an innate gender role, as they are with an innate sexuality.

Even prior to being aware of gender roles, I naturally had female posture, behavior etc. I CLEARLY remember being corrected on it early in grade school, for God's sake.

And, this was before any sort of sexuality developed in me, which is again why I see gender role as entirely independent of sexuality.

[Carly D.]

I wonder as well just how many there are of us (cross dressers).. I mean for all those who dress partially in some fem attire to those who go all in everytime they dress.. and the number that look (lurk) here and other sites that are more picture and heavier on the sex talk.. for me I was never a cross dresser until I knew what it was called.. I just thought I was a weirdo of sorts.. I knew other cross dressed (on tv) but were there a good number more?? and where are they all? must be well hidden.. I evolved from humble beginnings as most cross dressers do, from shoes and early panties and nylon stockings to everything there is imaginable but it took until I was able to buy my own clothes that I appreciated what wearing these clothes was about.. and the care for them.. being careful not to "run" a pair of pantyhose before I got to wear them even just once...

[DinaMature]

for my own part, it's definitely developmental. Layers of consequences shaped my perceptions and desires, segregated the two aspects of my character. I am what I am because of my life experience, particularly the early years to late adolescence.

Having said that, I do not believe my experience is universal. I do believe some are born into a transgendered biology/physiology.

[Jaclyn NM]

I remember from my earliest memories being facinated with womens clothing. I loved watching my mom dress, and loved the soft silky feel of her clothing. Once I tried some of them on, I was hooked.

[Chrissie P]

I think it is "in you", it is a part of your personal being. I remember taking a nap in my parents bed when I was little. My mothers slip was on the floor and I tried it on and was hooked forever. I had a perfectly normal childhood, etc. No one molested me or anything like that. There was no outside reason that started this, it's just in me...

There have been periods of my life when Chrissie was put in a box, but she never left. She was always in my mind tho.

[Mary Ann]

Do you ever wonder how it happened that we developed into crossdressers. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I embrace my crossdressing, and wouldn't change for anything. I just have a curious nature, and often wonder why about many things. There are obviously many of us, judging not only by this web site, but also the fact that many kepp their crossdressing hidden or deny their desires. So I wonder where it all starts, is it physical or psychological, are we just born this way, or do we develop it in early childhood. Anyway, I don't want to get too deep here, as I said I'm just curious as to what some of you might have thought or learned. And once again, I don't want to change, I'm quite happy the way I am, thoroughly enjoying my crossdressing!

That's a difficult question to answer. For me, my 3 older sisters thought they'd "tease" me when I was 5 by threatening to put lipstick on me and dress me in a skirt. Though it was just a "threat" to me and a game to them, I actually wanted them to do it - can't say why really, but it awoke something in psyche. I also figured that if I protested, they would do it more often, which they did of course. The next day, I was trying on their panties and slips under the skirts when they weren't looking. I've been hooked ever since and I hope I always will be.
It has to be pschological because, at 17, a high school friend was at my house one evening and, out of nowhere he asked me to suck his d... and once again I just KNEW I was going to do it, and for some reason WANTED to!
But again I protested saying
"I've never done it before",
"I didn't know how", and
""You just want to pee in my mouth!"
VERY weak arguements that were easily refuted with the responses,
"OK, so this will be the first time and you'll like it. I promise",
"It's really easy to do and you'll learn. I'll help you do it right", finally,
"I PROMISE I won't pee in your mouth."
It took less than 30 minutes of talking before I was doing it to him, albeit very clumisly. By the third day, I was asking if he'd let me!
There has to be something buried in our brain that draws us to what turns us on, whether it be crossdressing, being gay, bi- or hetero. It isn't a choice we make.

[Mary Ann]

I might add that I prefer women to men. That incident was a very long time ago (I'm 61 now). Over the years I've had about an equal number of guys and girls, but I do prefer the girls. The only way I can explain all this is that I love dressing up, in fact I love everything feminine - the more feminine it is, the better. But what's more feminine than pleasing a man?
I'd love any comments.

[Rachel Morley]

I’m not sure if I was born this way or if I was born this way but also somehow needed a “trigger” to release the desire to want to wear girl’s clothes. I tend to side with the "hormone wash theory" plus probably some trigger in my childhood ... and in my case, I think I know what that trigger was too. It happened when I was 6.

[Mary Ann]

I hope you enjoy dressing as much as I do! From my previous posts you see my what my triggers were. There HAS to one somewhere, don't you think?

[Chrissie P]

Mature women can have a profound affect on children. I always enjoyed being around the moms (MILFS ???). I think a woman could trigger the feeling in a child just by some random act... bending over, taking care of her hair... anything.

[Marcy_in_hose]

I remember taking my aunt's pantyhose and bras and panties when I was around 8 or 9. I would go into the bathroom and put it all on and just "feel pretty". I started dressing throughout my early teens and a bit in my early 20's.

I started buying women's pants because I like the flair on the pants that you can't find in men's pants about 3 years ago and just recently I told my aunt that I buy women's pants and she told me that her and my cousin used to dress me up when I was around 5 or so. A huge light just flashed inside my head...

[ladybirdloves]

I seem to remember enjoying playing with dolls rather than cars from my earliest memories I didnt discover dressing till puberty so suspect it was something in me since birth. As an adult I enjoy football, rugby motor sports etc. in my male side as well as all the girlie make-up dressing in flowing skirts etc to so still a confusiong question for me!

[AllieSummers]

Everyone dresses for different reasons. I think that every story is unique. Some of us have very similiar stories but no two are the same.

I believe I was born this way...maybe even developed this way when I was in the womb.

There could be some contributing factors that would have made me accept the way I was born easier.

I have a slim/petite body type, not much body hair at all. That might have helped me identify with the female form more vs. the rough tough male form. Or maybe the fact I was born this way made me develop a more female body.

When I was very young I was very aware of my fem feelings. I'm an artist. I'm much more tender hearted than a lot of men.

In my teen years, I was more concerned with working on my tan than football. I liked wearing bright colors, especially pink. I loved the feeling of wearning tight clothes.

I read a story from someone the other day that said they had only negative male role models when they were young and that is why they think they dress.

I was raised by a great family with a stong, but fair father and very kind and gentle mother, two great brothers. We were raised up in church, never went without food, clothing or shelter.

I don't think there is any "psychological" reason to be the way I am. Meaning there was no "EVENT" that lead me here. Obviously I am psychologically different than other men but I think I was born with it vs. brought to it by my environment.

I hope this helps....

It probably just makes things more confusing. Honestly, I've given up on asking myself these questions. I have embraced it and learned to love it. It is kinda like asking how the universe was formed or if there is a God. There is really no proof to any of it. I just accept it and have faith that is will work out.

Kisses,

Allie

[JoAnne Wheeler]

This issue has been discussed numerous times here before. It boils down to nature or nurture or a combination of the two. Personally, I tend to believe in nature (alone) but in my case, it was strengthened by having so many strong women in the family on both sides and so many milktoast males

JoAnne Wheeler

[TGMarla]

At first, it was adolescent curiosity. It evolved into an entire gender identity over time. But it took quite a long time. I began with just a few articles of clothing. It was not long before I was dressing entirely. Dress, shoes, slip, hosiery, some jewelry..... But I'd never worn makeup or had a wig. Breast simulation was done with a bra and some rolled up socks. I didn't get my first wig until around 1998. I've only had real breast forms for the past year. So it's only been in the past ten years or so that it's evolved to the point where I can go out in public and be seen (at first glance) as a woman.

[Sarah Renee]

Hi Jaclyn,
I think everyone has different reasons, as for me I remember always wanting to be a girl. I preferred dolls and playing house to doing the normal boy things.

[Ms Mira]

This might be a generational thing, but the first thing I remember doing, before even touching a pair of panties, is looking on the internet... Which obviously piqued my curiousity.

[Kathi Lake]

There was no development, my own nature has always been naturally feminine. In fact, I believe all people are born with an innate gender role, as they are with an innate sexuality.

Even prior to being aware of gender roles, I naturally had female posture, behavior etc. I CLEARLY remember being corrected on it early in grade school, for God's sake.

And, this was before any sort of sexuality developed in me, which is again why I see gender role as entirely independent of sexuality.

Sophie's experience mirrors my own. Growing up, I was not only slight, but feminine in appearance and mannerisms. I was also corrected for both my feminine mannerisms and my left-handedness (this was the 60's, of course). I never really got along with the boys. I played with the girls, made friends with them, etc. I never had the feeling that I was a girl, though. Growing up, I did have plenty of clothes to wear as girls would have fun dressing me up, I would find clothes (yay for dumpster-diving!), go to thrift shops, etc.

Most of the men in my life were pretty crappy examples of how to be men. My dad (or sperm donor, as I call him), ran off when I was 2. The last time I saw him, he was on the Sally Jesse show on one of those "reunion" episodes, where they asked him "Do you have any other children?" and he started rattling off (lots and lots) of names. My mom had a succession of boyfriends who were also not stellar examples of manhood.

The closest I ever came to "transitioning" was after graduation. I worked at Wendy's and I came dressed to an after-work party (a friend had dared me and she prettied me up pretty darn good). He asked me if I wanted to work as a girl for a few shifts for fun and because he was short of girls (back then, the guys were the grill people only and only girls worked the counter). The few shifts turned into about three weeks worth. It was incredibly fun, but stopped when the manager started making some serious passes at me late at night after closing. Ick! As I said, my impressions of men growing up haven't been exactly optimal.

That brings me to now. Many people remark that my happiness shines through whatever I do and however I'm dressed, and that I am incredibly content in my own skin. They're right! I am so happy being who and what I am!

Kathi

[MrsDiane]

At he age of four on a snowy Sunday afternoon my two older sisters dressed me i i a green vewlvet dress with a little lace collar. We sang and danced as my nother played the piano. I had a photo of me dressed but it got lost sometime in the past

[Aleca]

Sure, I've always tried to look at how it all started. The bottom line is I know it is there and will always be there, suppressed as it is through marriage, work and social activities but it began about the mid-70's trying to fit into my sister's clothes and that was during the time of puberty. Some have said to me that's a sexual disorder, others have said that it's trying to express my feminine side, some have said it's a break from reality and others have said crossdressing stems from child abuse. All the above to play do seem to play a role into it. For the exact cause we can never know for sure but it's nice to have some general idea and how we can either control CDing or exploit it at our own choosing.

[Noxvictum]

I see my CDing as developing mostly because I started later than most. My first incident may have been at 2, but I was swiftly curtailed. After that, I'd always felt different but couldn't ever place it. Life kinda got in the way for awhile, and delayed the inevitable. Once the bigger fish were fried, I eventually came to CDing. Not quite sure how, really... Not that it particularly matters, I am who I am.

[NathalieX66]

Looking back on it, I think I was bound to try CD'ing one way or another. In my case during childhood, there wasn't a "single" incident that made want to do it....the urge was there all along!
One only feels rewarded once the opportunity arrives, whether it be age 6 or 17. The notion of "discovery" strikes me as false if, and when one isn't entirely honest or conscious of one's own thoughts ,if they've been there all along. That's not discovery, that is, as Deepak Chopra would put it, a "pure potentiality" turned into a "pure reality".

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Do you ever wonder how it happened that we developed into crossdressers...

I think the question read as follows instead:

Do you ever wonder how it happened that our society developed into that which rejects crossdressers...

There is nothing wrong with being a crossdresser. It's simply one of thousands of personal traits people are born with. And yes, that is where it comes from - it is in our genetic make up (with very few exceptions as there are exceptions to everything in life). My own psychiatrist backs up the fact that crossdressers start out as normal people until society has their way with them.

We're born with this personal trait just like people are born right-handed or left. Just like some people are more prone to being a football fan or enjoy opera music over country or rock. The only problem is that society doesn't usually chastise people for their preference in entertainment, music, or which hand they write with. For some reason, strict rules have been put into place and handed down from generation to generation when it comes to gender expression, or more accurately put, simply PERSONAL expression.

The whole mystery of crossdressing and all the confusion it causes in people is all in how society has chosen to turn it into some kind of terrible disease-like condition. That's it. Nothing more. We're all fed a bunch of bs about it growing up, and we believe it ourselves, and therefore become confused about our own natural behaviors. Remove the social stigma from crossdressing and these conversations would never arise. We'd all just be chatting about the fact we have crossdressing in common - just like people might chat about having musical preference in common.