Tired of explaining...

[Ruth]

I went through a phase of wondering, and asking, and then later explaining, why we do what we do. It seemed important at the time.
I never got a fully satisfactory answer for, nor did I clearly explain to anyone else (not even my therapist), what is going on.
The CDing carries on regardless. It does not require detailed explanations for it to work.
So I've given up. I CD because I like to, because it fulfils me in some way, and there's an end to it.
Why should we explain ourselves anyway? We're just part of the overall picture (and quite an attractive part, may I say).

[dawnmarrie1961]

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=109540

I posted this link for you because I feel it might help answer some of your question.

[Nicole Erin]

Just tell people what they want to hear.

"Are you wearing ...?"
yes
"Do you wear women's clothing?"
yes
"Are you gay?"
yes...

and answer in a really bored voice. The questions do get tired.

[rlars1]

I think as human beings we always want answers for everything. However, there are times when the answer is that it is just the way it is. That is how came to my peace with my husbands cding so quickly. I just had to stop fighting with the fact that there is no other reason than it is something he enjoys doing.

[Persephone]

I went through a phase of wondering, and asking, and then later explaining, why we do what we do. It seemed important at the time.
I never got a fully satisfactory answer for, nor did I clearly explain to anyone else (not even my therapist), what is going on.
The CDing carries on regardless. It does not require detailed explanations for it to work.
So I've given up. I CD because I like to, because it fulfils me in some way, and there's an end to it.
Why should we explain ourselves anyway? We're just part of the overall picture (and quite an attractive part, may I say).

I think Sigmund Freud is apocryphally quoted as saying, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

And then there's the wonderful quote from Popeye, "I am what I am and that's all I am."

I'm with you on this one 100%, girl!

[Georgia Rose]

I've given up wondering who I am and why I CD. It's something I like doing and as long as it harms no one who knows (only me & my wife) why care. I'm too old to sweat all the small stuff especially after a couple of major medical issues where the difference between life & death was like a razor's edge. These experiences tend to put other things in perspective.

[KarenS]

I can understand your frustration Ruth, but I don't think many non-CDrs or non-TGs are too interested in understanding the "why" anyway. I think they would rather simply not have to try to wrap their head around what we do.

I don't think there is much I can say to help people understand.

At this point, I still have a tremendous amount of paranoia so I tend not to get out too much. But, if someone wishes to ask a direct question, I'll give them a truthful answer. But, I have no desire to debate with them either.

As Persephone put it by quoting Popeye, "I am what I am...". If they chose not to accept that, well, I'll be saddened but I'm not likely to change either.

[sometimes_miss]

While I'm not 'out' in public, I have had online accounts on several dating sites for a long time where I openly admit to crossdressing, and I have had a lot of women write to ask me why. A lot of people really are curious, they don't understand; and most often, it's women who are partners of other men who crossdress. And of course, it's difficult because a lot of us don't understand either. When I write back, I tell them my story, and try my best to describe the other reasons I could think of as well, letting them know that it isn't a simple answer.

[Alice Torn]

Maybe we should all eat more spinach, like Popeye, and then we'll be strong to the finish, and we'll know what's me yam.

[Patricia1]

I've gone way beyond wondering about crossdressing. It's come down to "who's that in that mirror there?" (with apologies to Leonard Bernstein.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

A gay rights activist once advised me never to attempt to explain as people would just treat it as an apology and we have nothing to apologise for. I think he had a point.

[alexis GG]

In my opinion there are far too many judgemental people in this day and age, that no matter how much you try and explain things to them, they will not grasp the concept of it because also, they are too pig ignorant as well... just my thought...

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I CD because I like to, because it fulfils me in some way, and there's an end to it.
Why should we explain ourselves anyway? We're just part of the overall picture (and quite an attractive part, may I say).

You know - I like that. What else need be said?

People often feel they need some kind of intricate explanation because this is so "weird" and "unusual" and "not normal". Whatever. Being mono-gendered is unusual and not normal to me, but I don't ask them to explain it to me. I just kind of feel bad that they'll never know a truly full life. But I will!

Call me weird, unusual, and not normal all you like. Just don't forget the most important word - HAPPY!

[Nicki B]

I can understand your frustration Ruth, but I don't think many non-CDrs or non-TGs are too interested in understanding the "why" anyway. I think they would rather simply not have to try to wrap their head around what we do.

You don't think so many of us obssess and torture ourselves over it because of what we think society requires?

If we all felt they didn't care, how many of us would need to?

[Rachel05]

I do it because it is who I am and what I enjoy, gave up trying to figure anything beyond that, it isn't going to stop me doing what I enjoy doing