Do you really"pass"?

[Tracy_Victoria]

I think no one passes 100% of the time, but there again how many real woman have doubt cast upon them for looking a little manly. ie this works both ways. hence there is always that doubt.

Two real life experences that I've had, that that make me smile, was once I was called a "fat Cow" but some N@@ Head whilst out. He never realised he actually made my day. The other one was I went to a local TV meeting and I got asked Twice "which one was my husband!" ie they totally took me for a woman in a room full of Crossdressers. (that was a big boost to my ego)

[Tracy_Victoria]

Dee Dee seems to have it right on the money. Passing as a happy person definately works for me, perceived gender notwithstanding.

there are three golden rules to passing.

1, confidence

2, a good look (etc nice well fitting clothes and a wig that doesn't look like a wig)

3, A reason (why are you there, if you feel out of place you will look out of place) ie real woman don't walk round parks in the dead of night, they shop, they walk confidently and buy what they want and go about there business, and as a Crossdresser, you need to emulate that, ie be were you are, with a perpose!

[Sammy777]

Sammy baby, I think you have been misunderstood in this thread. -Misty

Thank You Misty

Pass what?

The potatoes....... Please pass them over when you're done with them.

[BeckiB]

Nope not at all as in passing?

yes...I know I don't do not pass at all but I really don't worry about it. I am who I am for better or worse.

[jenna_woods]

I don't think any of us pass 100% if stuided to much. but I do not care,I am enjoying my self and hurting no one,

[Joni Marie Cruz]

.On the other hand, the Amazing Joni (she needs a logo) has a really good point when she says she doesn't dress for them, she dresses for her.

The needle on my Sarcasm-o-Meter (patent pending, all rights reserved, able to detect as little as 1 ppb [part per billion] SSU [standardized sarcasm unit] at sealevel) just twitched.<g>

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Mirani]

I'll take "being treated with respect" any day - I don't stop to think "do I pass?".

When I dress for work, social or home all I do is think "do I feel right?" .. if the answer is no, I change into something else. If the answer is "yes" - I dont give a fig what anyone else is thinking.

[karynspanties]

Well first of all, I do not pass. I have been out during the daytime and never had a second look by anyone (that I noticed). I was not overly dressed. That day I just wanted to blend in. Did I pass? No, poeple just did not care that day. Now, I see alot of pictures posted here and the ladies ask "Do I pass?" and it is quite obvious that they don't and almost everyone that replies says that they do. We are men. We have male features and unless you have cosmetic surgery to remove those features, I don't care how much make-up you put on, your not going to pass. Sorry, the truth hurts sometimes. The only gurlz I have seen that can pass are the ones who started taking hormones at a very young age. Some say it's confidence. Well I have seen a few gurlz out in public. It takes a certain amount of confidence to leave the house all dolled up, but the were'nt even close to passing. I know I do not pass and I do not need to ask others if I do because I am honest with myself.
Some others in this forum need to be also.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

No - I could never really "pass" - but I don't care - I just love to be JoAnne

JoAnne Wheeler

[Kelsy]

[QUOTE=Gabrielle Hermosa;1766009]A large part of my own low self-esteem issues in life were because I found myself very unattractive. I didn't (fully) realize until much later in life that it was because I always wanted to look pretty rather than (manly) handsome. There were times when I just didn't want to face people at all because I felt so ugly (and bad about myself as such).

[QUOTE]


Gabrielle, I always found being called handsome
revolting! Like you I wanted to be pretty.

Kelsy

[gender_blender]

I can pass for female, I simply choose to be more original than that. I know I look great and I don't care if I pass for female. It's tough enough to pass as me, a healthy combination of both genders.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

I can pass for female, I simply choose to be more original than that. I know I look great and I don't care if I pass for female. It's tough enough to pass as me, a healthy combination of both genders.

From the picture you posted in the "Sunburn" thread, you do quite a commendable job. Keep up the good work.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Nicki B]

You seem to have a problem with my not wanting to be a poster girl for the transgendered.So you accuse me of hiding because I am not shouting from the rooftops.

Kelly, I haven't accused you of anything - I don't know your circumstances. Would you describe yourself as 'stealth'??

If you want to crusade for crossdressers and transgendered...more power to you, but trying to put me in a trick bag because I don't isn't going to work.

I'm not trying to push you into anything (or judge you) - all I asked was which did you think is better?

And when did I ever tell anyone to shout their status from the rooftops, or push it in anyone's face? Surely just going about your business is good enough?

I live and breathe in the many shades of grey in the world, lol.

And yet you seem to be saying you can only be one, or the other..

Believe me, my mind is far from a binary mindset.

What I was saying is that you [no matter who or what you are or are trying to present as] can't have it both ways.

Either be the card carrying CD TS TV TG M O U S E and be outspoken about it or be the "passing" unnoticed women in a crowd.

But you can't be both at the same time.

Binary is only seeing two options.

So look and act your best to be a women,
while still being looked at as a guy in dress so people are accepting??
It makes no sense to me.

I would rather be seen as a fugly girl then a "man in a dress".
Although, that is just me because I really have no desire to be seen as a man period for much longer.

I know many girls who don't pass (as born female), but who it's obvious are women on the inside - they pass as trans-women, often good-looking ones..

No one would imagine they were born female, but no one thinks of them as men, either. I hope the people who know me would describe me similarly, too..

[LA CINDY LOVE]

To be perfectly honest I don't see us being accepted as a group anytime soon. Too much division between crossdressers,TS's,gays,bi's. Our predjudice and bias shows, there doesn't seem to be a united front. Those who want it will go out and get it, those who don't or say they can't will complain about it.
Anone who has the nerve and the ambition to go for it has my support. I pass and I am accepted.. because I made it happen. Call me selfish if you want to, but i am not ashamed of my stance. I am 26 years old and I feel like I have the world by the tail. it's my turn and I am taking full advantage. I don't want to look back in 20 or 30 years and say.. I wish I would have done this or that. I''ll stand by you, but I won't try and drag you out of the closest.

WOW.......these are words that Cindy lives by,.... live for the now because tomorrow is not promise......the one thing Cindy can say about Kelly.......she can sure make you feel good about your-self.

Can Cindy Pass.........yes their are times when Cindy is out and about and getting a lot of attention from woman and men on how nice I look and how fit I am....... Cindy loves the attention and dose not say away from it..... the way I walk, look, talk, act, etc all comes together like a MBA player who is in the ZONE and that is how Cindy feel like I am in the ZONE......and when you are walking in the mall there is no time to get cold feet.

Can..... a Cd who is out and about can get read but still look good and pass to have a positive reaction to the people around them compared to a Cd who got read but look bad and did not pass have a negative reaction to the people around them.

Funny that when I am out and about in drab that people sometimes call me ma'am and been told by some friends that I look like a woman, so when I add some make-up and women clothing .........I get Cindy

Cindy goes out and about in the day all the time and I have never had anyone say or do anything bad to me, everyone has been very nice and kind to Cindy.

I feel that there are some Cd's who have game but say they can not pass.......but can pass you just have to work on your self......... I feel that there are more cd out and about who pass then we know.


LA CINDY LOVE




men are just trying to pick me up, it dose not take visual

[Sonia Greene]

It is possible to pass OK as long as we try and copy just how women dress and act......typically. Most of the time.

I believe it is integrating---i.e.talking to shop assistants and cafe assistants without too much self-consciousness that is the way forward. Including modyifying the voice.
They may spot we are not GG, but we should endeavour to be like them, and imitation--as long as not made fun of, is acceptable.

That's my revolutionary view, which I reckon is spot on.......of course I would do, wouldn't I?!!

Sonia

[kellycan27]

I think we understand eachother better now...
kelly

[flic]

Passing for me seems to become more important in ebbs and flows. The lower my self esteem is, then the more emphasis I place on my need to pass, i guess as a method of vindication. I get really low esteem when i feel i look too masculine and as such seek confirmation of any femininity others may perceive in me. If i'm comfortable with the way I look then i tend not to need so much confirmation from others, and as such get caught on a wave of good feeling which surges me forward and into a more positive place. I'm probably influenced too easily by the reactions and opinions of others,, but it seems that's a part of my nature. Just how i feel about it!!!
flic xxx

[gennee]

[SIZE="4"]I pass pretty well for the most part. I've been proposed to twice . If I don't pass it doesn't matter to me.

Gennee [/SIZE]

[LA CINDY LOVE]

If, by passing, you mean the world doesn't realise you weren't born female - then how are we ever going to gain any acceptance??? People will just assume we don't exist, if they don't know we are there..

Acceptance,..acceptance,..acceptance......I hate to be the Brear of bad news but do not look for acceptance today tomorrow or next week......come to think of it do not look for acceptance next month or next year......so do not hold you breath waiting.

Acceptance is what you make it......Cindy is dose not need the acceptance of society to live the life style that I choose, when I walk out that front door dress in to society I go were I please when I please and do what I please with out the acceptance of society
.........and I look dam good doing it.

I do not see how those who pass/blend into society are stealth and are trying to hide something why can't they just be them self the same way as a gay people...are they stealth just because they do not carry a sign....are they really trying to hide something.

Nicki you said "that if you are truly comfortable with you then people can't hurt you" if that is true then why do we need society acceptance......and if the day every comes that we gain acceptance we will still want to pass and still have closet cds.........just like we have now.

LA CINDY LOVE

[5150 Girl]

Do I pass? Well, I've been told that I look pretty convincing...
Do I think I pass? No I don't, but then again, I do tend to be my own worst critic...
Do I wanna pass? With all my heart!

[Deidra Cowen]

When I really had myself in good shape, I might not have been passable but I could fool most people! Visually that is, even was at a big meatmarket type straight bar and had three guys ask me to dance. But really I was not passable due to my voice, heavy makeup and the wig, but I could sure as heck blend in!!!

Personally I think passing is tough as heck and only a small minority of CDs can do it. But it sure is a blessing to those that can pull it off...and yeap some can. Have seen it with my own eyes!

[Terrianne Wells]

I believe most of us would love to be able to pass, just to avoid confrontations. But the reality is that most of us don't so we should not worry about what others think but what makes us complete.

[Misty is Kindafem]

The needle on my Sarcasm-o-Meter (patent pending, all rights reserved, able to detect as little as 1 ppb [part per billion] SSU [standardized sarcasm unit] at sealevel) just twitched.<g>

Hugs...Joni Mari

Cute, but I really do think you're amazing. You're not the only one of course, but you're definitely one of the stand outs, and in this group, that's saying something.

I think the Amazing Joni has a nice ring to it.

-Misty

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Cute, but I really do think you're amazing. You're not the only one of course, but you're definitely one of the stand outs, and in this group, that's saying something.

I think the Amazing Joni has a nice ring to it.

-Misty

Thank you, Misty. That is very, very sweet, but please don't say things like that. I mean, I appreciate it, I do, but I have this really, really bad reflexive push-away-a-compliment syndrome. It's like anything complimentary can't really be meant for me, it makes me uncomfortable and I know that's not what you meant at all. And, no, I am not fishing for more. Honest.

Wanna be friends, Misty? You're pretty damned amazing yourself.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[kathrynjanos]

Some think they pass and look awful. Some don't think they pass and look great! Beauty, eye of the beholder, all that jazz, that just doesn't ring true. I saw TWO separate women today at the airport that I could've SWORN were CD, or possibly TS, but I just couldn't be sure. Other features were what set my mind wondering, which is why I even noticed, but their faces made it hard to know. They were both at least 50s though.