can one be addicted to crossdressing

[Amy Adaire]

I've been crossdressing for as long as I can remember and have never had a reason why. All I know is that I'm most happy while in a skirt and even feel alittle jealous of a pretty girl wearing one in public and wish I was her. Can anybody help me

[Michelle S]

Anything can become an obsession. I don't think CD'ing is an addiction though since the solution for most cross dressers is to find a balance and learn to feel good about both parts of your Self.

I did a keyword search for past posts with the word balance in the title. http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...archid=3190908

You might find some useful points of view there.

Good luck and welcome to CD.com.

[TGMarla]

It's true that this thing can really get under your skin. It can become consuming at times. Trying to strike a balance is easier said than done, too. But like Michelle mentioned, it's pretty necessary to do so lest this whole thing swallow you up. Crossdressing can become very compulsive, and it's often difficult to know when to apply the brakes. And even when you figure this out, actually applying them is just as hard. Damn pink fog! But keep telling yourself that you will control your crossdressing, the crossdressing will not control you.

Simple, huh?

[Farrah]

I dont think its an addiction or an obsession. I really believe its just a way of life, that hasn't really caught on in the mainstream. I've dressed for most of my life as well, and I am just now coming to terms that crossdressing is just as much a part of me as my personality. My advice to you is to just embrace the gift you have and enjoy. I don't think that there is an answer to why we dress. Just do it and have fun with it.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Amy-

Well, you're in a great place to talk about stuff like that. Just out of curiosity, you said you wanted help, what did you want help with exactly? Do you want to stop being jealous of pretty girls in skirts? Do you want to be unhappy when you have a skirt on instead of happy? Do you want help picking out some skirts?

If crossdressing is causing you distress or creating a negative situation in your life, then you really should seek counseling from a professional to help you with that. If you're looking to understand yourself and what being CD is all about and how to deal with it all in a practical way, then you might just want to hang around. Pretty much everyone here is in the same fashionably tricked out boat and knows what it's like. You probably won't find "the answer" here, and I'm pretty sure no one claims to have any, I know I don't, but you may pick up some things that may set you on the right path for figuring it out for yourself.

Like you, Amy, I've been wanting to wear girl clothes since as long as I can remember. Being CD used to freak me out and I tried to "quit" I dunno how many times. Lord, the clothes I've thrown away. Now I just revel in my addiction. Just so you know, there's nothing wrong, illegal, immoral or bad about being CD. It's just another way to be is all. Have fun on your journey.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Rachel05]

Rather than an addiction, I do it because it is a pleasure, I like to spend what time I can dressed like that, it makes me feel good, I don't feel addicted, it has been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

[JenniferR771]

Its is just a compulsive hobby you can't quit. Not an addiction--unless the abused substance is polyester.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I've been crossdressing for as long as I can remember and have never had a reason why. All I know is that I'm most happy while in a skirt and even feel alittle jealous of a pretty girl wearing one in public and wish I was her. Can anybody help me

In regard to the thread title, I think the answer is yes, one can be addicted to crossdressing. I say that in the sens that one can become addicted to just about anything, from television to video games to sex to food, etc.

In the question of "is crossdressing an addiction", I would have to say no, it is not. It is a personal trait that we were born with - like being right-handed or naturally athletic or creative-minded, etc.

I get jealous of beautiful women all the time. I admire their beauty and wish I could become as beautiful. I've heard this sentiment from a lot of crossdressers, so you're not alone there.

Whether or not crossdressing is an addiction for you, or simply an important part of your life that you just can't seem to figure out is something that only you can really answer. I'd suggest it is the latter. It is (sadly) common for many crossdressers to feel confused about their crossdressing and put it under a microscope and question every little thing about it. It's probably because we all grow up learning that it is "wrong" and "undesirable". In reality, there is nothing wrong with it - society simply does not understand the realities of it and has made it out to be something terrible.

Try to enjoy your crossdressing without analyzing every little thing about it in your mind. I love being a crossdresser now, but it confused the hell out of me for most of my life. What a terrible waste of time. Life is too short for that. I'm a good person with a big heart, and there's nothing wrong with me - at least not because I'm a crossdresser.

Addicted? Well, if I'm addicted to anything, I'm addicted to being MYSELF.

Here's a question. Do you like chocolate? Why not try giving it up FOREVER. I bet you're not addicted to chocolate (assuming you do like it), and yet if you tried to give it up forever, you'd probably have a tough time with that. Especially the next time you saw people eating a chocolate bar. I know, chocolate isn't the same as crossdressing, but the principle is close enough. Some people are addicted to chocolate, but most are not. I bet just about everyone who enjoys it would have a very, very difficult time giving it up forever though.

I hope this helps.

[Terrianne Wells]

Amy,
I agree with Gabrielle that crossdressing is addicting as it a freeing of our true being, actually who we are. I would not say that it is an addiction, only if we classify our desire to be who we really are an "addiction", I call it "JOY".
Enjoy and "Don't worry-Be Happy!" Huggs, Terri

[Ralph]

Rather than an addiction, I do it because it is a pleasure, I like to spend what time I can dressed like that, it makes me feel good, I don't feel addicted, it has been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

Yeah, and gamblers / boozers / junkies do what they do "because it is a pleasure"... "makes me feel good", and they rarely "feel" addicted.

Remember, psychological addiction and physical addiction have very different symptoms, and the latter is easier to cure.

I'm not saying that crossdressing IS an addition; I'm hardly qualified to say. But saying it's not an addiction because it doesn't feel like one is about as sensible as saying you can't possibly be a crossdresser because it feels so natural to wear dresses (search "space shuttle" in other threads).

That said, I'm inclined to believe there is a certain amount of addictive behavior in what we do. It's nonstandard behavior that can cause trouble in our lives (marriage difficulties, social acceptance, getting/losing jobs, extra expense for a second wardrobe, even physical assault by haters, etc.) yet we keep coming back to it because it satisfies some primal need - indeed, many have said on here that purging is hopeless because you can "never" (in some posters' opinions) give up the need entirely. Sounds like an addition to me, but IANAS (I Am Not A Shrink).

[Tasha McIntyre]

I can't say that I am addicted to CDing, although I certainly like forward to and cherish the time that I do.

What is fast becoming a bit of an addiction is the feelings associated with CDing in public. Wow, something akin to extreme sports, although bungee jumping is nowhere near as terrifying as tackling a busy shopping centre in a skirt, wig and make up.

Cheers

Tash

[Pauline Lauren]

I am not so sure that I would classify crossdressing as an addiction per se, although I would agree that it may share some superficial characteristics of one. The purge then go back to it cycle makes it appear as such in a way. However, I think one major difference is that most crossdressers start feeling compelled to start at a very young age. My own first dressing experience was as soon as I was big enough to fit in my mom's borrowed stuff, about 10-11 yo. Prior to that I had the desire to and improvised . The feelings that made me do so came from inside, no one suggested it, no ads on TV tried to sell it to me, no pushers or friends suggested I do it, no pictures I saw depicted it, and there was no internet so don't even go there LOL. The feeling and desire truly came from inside not outside.

So I would say, rather than calling it an addiction, I think it is hardwired somewhere in most crossdressers to be that way, even though society has chosen to label it as a "bad" and "abnormal" thing. I honestly think that the purge and return cycle is not a matter of trying to cure an addiction and failing, it is more a matter of trying to deny one's true nature and not being able to. I just don't think you can call that an addiction. It is simply and attribute of some of our personalties and mental make up.

I refuse to feel badly about the fact that I want to express this side of my personality and who I am. I don't consider that an addiction, in our current societal environment, I would say rather it takes strength and courage to be different.

Just my two cents worth

>>>hugs<<<
Pauline

[Pauline Lauren]

Sorry one other thought on this the I promise to be quiet! Most other "addictions" involve doing something bad to yourself, such as drug use (health and behavior issues), smoking (health), gambling (financial well being - ok well I guess you can go broke buying clothes too LOL). But seriously, the only reason that crossdressing has a negative effect on one who practices it is because society doesn't like it. If no one cared what you were wearing and what gender you presented as, there wouldn't be a problem.

OK I'm finished now

Pauline

[docrobbysherry]

In MY case anyway. Which is why I began self-imposed breaks from EVERYTHING to do with CDing last year!
Just to prove to myself I COULD pull back for awhile!

Just returned from my this year's exile yesterday! YES!

[Amy Adaire]

I really appreciate all the support that you all have given me. I must clearify the thing about being jealous of girls in skirts is that I realize that at I will never look even half as good as them

[CindyT]

I feel exactly the same as you!

[Deb The Brunette]

Hi Amy-



If crossdressing is causing you distress or creating a negative situation in your life, then you really should seek counseling from a professional to help you with that. If you're looking to understand yourself and what being CD is all about and how to deal with it all in a practical way, then you might just want to hang around. Pretty much everyone here is in the same fashionably tricked out boat and knows what it's like. You probably won't find "the answer" here, and I'm pretty sure no one claims to have any, I know I don't, but you may pick up some things that may set you on the right path for figuring it out for yourself...Joni Mari

Cool answer Joni ..


.

[Amy Adaire]

Maybe I should get some professional help but I don't know where to get it and I wouldn't be able to afford it if I did but thank for your kind support

[BabyPink]

I've been crossdressing for as long as I can remember and have never had a reason why. All I know is that I'm most happy while in a skirt and even feel alittle jealous of a pretty girl wearing one in public and wish I was her. Can anybody help me

I can certainly identify with what you're saying. I sometimes even force myself to think of something else other than how good a girl is looking and how well dressed she is (and how I will never look as good). Also, like you, I'm never calmer or happier than when I'm dressed as a girl.

I don't think you can be addicted to crossdressing as you can to drugs, but like anything it can become an obsession. As others have pointed out, it's a question of balance. You're not harming anyone. Just enjoy it!

[charlie]

Hello Amy!
I have always thought of this as an addiction. I love it, it is pleasurable, it is exciting, it has a great negative side, and I cannot stop doing it. It sounds like an addiction to me!

[Missy]

yes i am and so far i like it i am out of control

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Amy-

<big hug> Hon, you really are among friends here, we do understand what it's like. Of course, all of our situations are different and unique because we're all individuals, but we, pretty much everyone on this site, can relate to how you feel.

Even if you go to a counselor, Amy, what he probably will tell you is that being CD is not a disorder or a pathology or a condition that necessarily requires treatment. It really only becomes an issue if it's causing you problems in your life. If it makes you depressed and upset and unhappy or it causes problems for you with your family and your work. Otherwise, what harm does it do? Just think about it, does it actually hurt anyone if you put on a skirt? Does it make you feel better, more relaxed, more at ease about yourself? Then where's the harm?

Lots of times people seem to think there's some kind of inevitable progression, some path, that you just have to follow if you're TG. First comes some lingerie, then maybe a skirt and a top, then buying a bunch more clothes, then coming out to family and friends and going out as a girl with makeup and a wig and all that, and then, finally, booking a flight to Thailand for surgery and getting your plumbing rearranged. It is NOT like that at all. If it makes you feel good to put on a skirt once in awhile in the privacy of your own home and you never tell another living soul, then that's just fine. There's lots and lots of girls like that and they are perfectly okay, just another way to be.

Or you can get on the TG bus and get off at any stop along the way that you feel like. The trip is up to you. But, by all means, girl, if you feel that being CD is messing you up, then seek help. It isn't something that goes away, but you can learn ways to deal with it. Lots of times county health departments have counselors for all sorts of issues, they may be able to help or to give you some resources. And yeah, I know how hard and scary that can be, especially if you're from a small town or rural area. If there's a larger city nearby they may also have resources for LGBT people and may be able to find you help if you need it. You aren't alone.

I so wish you the best of luck. Remember this is a great place to be, to be yourself, and to be with others who know what you're talking about.

Hugs...Joni Mari

Maybe I should get some professional help but I don't know where to get it and I wouldn't be able to afford it if I did but thank for your kind support

[tricia_uktv]

Amy,

The answer to your question is yes. It is also yes, you should try to get out dressed in a safe place if you can. And then its wait to see how you feel and when/whether you want to do it again. Enjoy yourself

[Ralph]

It is also yes, you should try to get out dressed in a safe place if you can.

Why? What if she doesn't need or want to do that? There is no "should".

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Maybe I should get some professional help but I don't know where to get it and I wouldn't be able to afford it if I did but thank for your kind support

I'm not a professional, but I study people, myself, society, and have overcome a lot of hardship in my life.

I recently wrote about crossdressing and addiction extensively in my blog. Perhaps you might find something meaningful and helpful in what I've written. If you have the time, I suggest you explore all of the crossdressing myths I've written about to date. I can't say they'll make everything clear to you, but it might help you sort out some of your feelings.