House Guest?

[TxKimberly]

My son has a friend, a young lady of 19, who has been thrown out of her own home by her parents. She is currently living and sleeping in her car in the Austin area, where it has been averaging well over 100 degrees every day. She has no home. She has no job. She has no food.

My wife and I have talked about it, and as much as we hate the idea of having a house guest, we are going to invite her to stay with us. I figure to put some rules on it - she has to get a job or go to school, if she gets a job she has to give us a few $$ every pay day which we will put away for her, and put a tentative deadline on her stay of 6 months. I doubt very much we would throw her out in 6 months, but I want her to have that thought in the back of her mind motivating her to make some effort.

Here's the rubs though. I make a lot of my business trips dressed, and obviously this involves my getting ready and leaving the house dressed for the airport. I can't do that with her sleeping on our couch. So, major interference in my life style and something I deeply enjoy. Am I selfish for considering this and letting it bother me? In any case, much as I hate the thought of someone living in my house, I just can't tolerate the thought of a young lady going hungry and trying to sleep in her car in 100+ degrees, so I'll make the offer. Gonna HATE making all my trips boy mode though!

Update 4 July -

Well it turns out that all of my angst and worry was for nothing. I made the invitation and she accepted . . . for one night! Turns out her own grandmother in San Antonio has offered to take her in and she has accepted. So, all of that soul searching and worry was for nothing, our home is already back to normal!

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Kimberly-

<huge huge hug to you, dear> Yes, it is a major league pain in the derrier to do something like that, but I so respect you for it. What a wonderful thing to do. FWIW, my wife and I did the same thing a few years ago for a friend of my son's. He was thrown out by his parents and was basically living on the streets, so we took him in for a few months. I even spoke with his parents before we did this and they told us they pretty much didn't give a damn. He's a good kid but with some problems. Anyway, he is now in college and doing okay. Nothing we did in particular, but I'm glad we could help out a little when he needed it.

As far as your dressing, it's a sacrifice and I completely understand your feelings, I felt the same way, in fact I pretty much hated it the whole time he was there. Didn't hate him, but hated how it cramped my style. You are doing the right thing, though, at least I think so. You really are as sweet as your picture, hon.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[JeneeDavis]

Kimberly,
You'd hate yourself more if you didn't do this.
It's the right thing to do.
You'll find a way to make things work out!
Hugs,
Jen

[DanaR]

I would have to agree with everything that has been said. It sounds like a very nice offer. I hope that she sees this an a good opportunity, appreciates it and makes the most of it. You rock!!

[RachelB.]

Not only are you smart and beautiful, you have a heart of pure gold. If the world had more like you it would be a far better place.

[Jenny Brown]

This is the kind of thing Jesus would do.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

This is the kind of thing Jesus would do.

Jesus was a tgirl? Wow. I had no idea.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[MiraM]

Kimberly,
You'd hate yourself more if you didn't do this.
It's the right thing to do.
You'll find a way to make things work out!
Hugs,
Jen

I have to agree with this. Even though it will be an interuption to your routine and hamper your lifestyle, I think in the end you will be the better for it. I know I could not live with myself if I had the means to help someone in a situation such as this and did not do it.

[dee4127]

Kim it is so nice of you to try and make a difference in someones life. No matter how things turn out it is the right thing to do.

[pamela_a]

Kim, I can't do anything but agree with the others. You have a heart of gold to do that. Look on the bright side...maybe you'll be able to give her some make up tips

Seriously. Just from the little I know about you reading your posts, you would hate yourself for not offering to help another woman in trouble.



-Pam-

[PheonaP]

Huge huge Kimberly, your generosity in times of others adversity knows no bounds.

[Janet R.]

It might help if you knew why this young person is homeless.

How do you know this houseguest will not rip you off at the
first opportunity ?

Be a good person, try to do the right thing, but keep your
eyes wide open lest you get more problems.

Janet R.

[cindym5_04]

I think you are absolutely wonderful for even taking into consideration the thought of having her as a house guest. I truly believe that there should be more people like you. I think you'll find that although you'll be hating making your trips in boy mode, it will be much more worth it to help her out and make such an impact on her life.

[Ellen James]

Kimberly -
Reading your postings about your adventures and travels, as well as your other comments and observations, I have always been impressed by your attitude and intelligence. This latest choice, in the face of the inconveniences and challenges, just proves that you are a classy broad

Best wishes for this endeavor and the young lady is a very fortunate person to have your family for friends

[Jonianne]

Kim, be absolutely sure to set strong and firm boundries. We did a similar thing and it took 2 and half years to get her out of the livingroom. She finally did get a job, but made no effort to get out on her own untill we finally pressured her out. She also threatened us with the fact that we could not just throw her out. Legaly I had to threaten to get an eviction notice which gives her 30 days. It does not matter if she is a legal renter or not.

No, your concern about your dressing is not selfish, having someone there for an extended period can cause many other issues.

You have a good heart. Having firm boundries does not lessen that.

[Teri Jean]

Kimberly, I cannot say how much you have touched our lives and now with this post I find it hard to say without tears, girl we love you and you are the best. As one person said it," small inconveniance for a better solution". If this young lady has a heart she will endure it to you and your wife for your kindness.

Huge huggs to you both. Keli

[Nicole Erin]

So you are going to give her a roof over her head, food on the plate, a place to sleep, and running water. She will be very thankful for that.
I very much doubt she is going to have a problem with how you live your life.

Just explain things to her, if she has any sense she is not going to give you crap about it.

You know, most of us don't want to have a house guest for more than a few days. But a house guest should not get in the way of how the renter/owner of the home lives.

I am just lost on that aspect. What does having a house guest have to do with how you live? If you were to BE the guest it would be different but she is in YOUR home. And, she is an adult, it is not like it is some child who you would have to "protect".

OH wait another thing - you leave the house en femme, fly that way, drive around town, and well you pretty much ARE Kimberly to most who see you, it is not like you are in the closet so why is this particular lady an obstacle?

[trannie T]

Apparently outing yourself to her is not under consideration, you could have her help with your makeup instead of rent. Giving up dressing for a few months is a small price for helping another human being.

[Brina Halloween]

Definitely set the boundaries and make sure she is responsible as someone else mentioned. I am surprised no one mentioned your wife just having a baby (or I missed that post). Things are probably hectic there anyway. I met a few ladies when I worked at a bar that really had no sense of responsibility and went from guy to guy batting their eyelashes. Dropping a bad egg into a hectic baby filled house would be ....

[Sandygal]

That is an awesome thing to do. What possible bad thing could she have done to be put out of her house? I'm glad there are people like you in the world.

[Kristen Marie]

Kim, I think you said your son knows you dress when you travel so it may be just a metter of time that she finds out...and somehow, I can't beleive the Kim adventures are going to stop...it just might be a tad more difficult....and you left out one important fact. What size is she?

[Miranda-E]

Here's the rubs though. I make a lot of my business trips dressed, and obviously this involves my getting ready and leaving the house dressed for the airport. I can't do that with her sleeping on our couch. So, major interference in my life style and something I deeply enjoy. Am I selfish for considering this and letting it bother me? In any case, much as I hate the thought of someone living in my house, I just can't tolerate the thought of a young lady going hungry and trying to sleep in her car in 100+ degrees, so I'll make the offer. Gonna HATE making all my trips boy mode though!

It's your house and you're helping her. dress however you want. Remember, its your house.

[kellycan27]

Kimberly...You are my odol. What a wonderful sacrifice you and your wife are making. Kudos to the both of you.
Kel

[Marcia Blue]

[SIZE="2"]Kimberly, My household has been in the same situation that you are speaking of several times. My middle son attracts friends in need, like honey to bees. We have had four house guests, that had no where to go. I do believe that you should lay down the rules, before she moves in.
Our rules were:
1. I do believe that a job is a must.
2. Do not loan or give money. ( you already have opened your doors )
3. They must help around the house.
4. They eat what we eat, unless there is a medical reason.
5. If they are not coming home for the evening, or weekend, or what ever, they need to let someone know.
6. They must treat everyone in the house with respect.
7. Treat all property and things, as it were their own.

For the most part all of our temporary family members were very nice, and appreciated our hospitality and would be invited back again.

Good Luck,[/SIZE]

[Christinedreamer]

I applaud your open heartt HOWEVER as one poster here asked, do you know WHY she was tossed out. That could be a major factor. If it was for drugs or similar activity, steer clear lest you be dragged in.

Here in SoCal you can lose your home to seizureby the State if someone you let stay with you is accused of drug activity. It does not even have to end up with a conviction for them.

I did this as well for 6 months for a friend who had a 16 yr old daughter and was pregnant with another baby. We worked together so I thought I knew her fairly well. When she moved in, it seemed as though I was a guest in my own home.

You also need to consider what may be said by her to others if she sees you dressed and then you need to ask her to leave later on for other reasons.

I hate to consider that someone you opened your heart and home to would play you for a sucker but it happens a LOT.

Just be very careful and be sure you keep track of everything.