Does CDing make U feel guilty?

[Samantha Girl]

Most things I do that aren't A. Working on art B. Do stuff with and for my girl makes me feel guilty I do feel guilty about dressing up because it is sort of seperate from my girl, it has to do with the way we handle it I guess. I try to not have it in her face, but that excludes her ya know

Obviously we've done stuff together with me dressed up, including sexual stuff. But that's been an every now and then thing. Put it this way, I want to be dressed as a girl far more often then she wants to see me dressed up. Sometimes I feel guilty because I want to do things that she'd rather I not do like I really want to shave my legs a lot. But I save that for special occassions, same with completely shaving my face. I feel silly sometimes dressing as a girl with a mustache! But I don't want to annoy my girl, give and take I guess.

I'm NOT going to feel guilty about Halloween though! My birthday's 3 days before so Samantha gets what she wants for Halloween every year! Still CAN'T wait! 2 weeks! Shaving everything, making my hair as BIG & CURLY as is possible and wearing the hell outta my new outfit & red fishnets & black knee boots!!! Is it Halloween yet?

[KayC]

Guilt has a place in our lives to bring about needed change. Beyond that, when the thing that needed change has been addressed, it is no longer guilt hounding us, but shame. Shame only serves to hold us down and has no positive affect, so when it comes our way we need to send it packing!

That said, examine yourself...if what you are doing isn't harming anyone and you are living a balanced life, then what does it hurt? If your answers to the above are affirmative, then you should not feel guilty. If CDing kept you from spending time with your family, made you miss work, or caused you to spend more money than you could afford, then it is having a negative affect on your life and you need to bring it more in balance, which is what is true of any addiction. Anything carried to an extreme is in danger of being a negative. However, I don't see the correlation between feeling guilty and feeling sexual as a result of CDing. There are so many different reasons for CDing, not everyone has a sexual response to it, but what does it hurt that you do? Enjoy it, it makes you feel alive!

[Rachel_Red]

I suppose I ask this question a bunch these days. Everyone feels guilt for differnt reasons, I feel guilt because of the world around me. I've debated that perhaps the only guilt a CDer feels is not because its wrong but rather that the world around us dosn't always accept it and even tells us not to do it. We live in an odd world, animals don't have these issues but we do. I've asked why it is that one of my female german shepards can mount a male german shepard and its ok, its a sign of dominance. While a human can only wear specific bits of cloth based on what equipment they were born with. I suppose I'm taking the topic a bit to deeply but I think a lot of my guilt is from the fact that the world around me dosn't accept me and says that something is wrong when I know their is nothing wrong. Perhaps that is indeed the root of our guilt (those of us that feel it), its because its the forbiden fruite, the secret pleasure. I took a Sex Roles class a while back in college and we talked at length about the issue, about how boys are conditioned to be boys at birth and girls are as well. Well thats my guess anyways, funny thing is even if you know where the guilt is coming from it dosn't always solve the problem. Once you find that root you need to come to grips with it, if its acceptance then you need to seek it. Just some thoughts.

[jayme357]

I am intrigued with how many different definitions of the term "guilt" there are on this thread. It is pretty clear that each of us has a term that is meaningful for us and it is that definition that defines how we feel about ourselves. If guilt has to be part of us then I think this is goodness. The problem would be that there is no universal solution to our dilema. Oh my goodness - that must mean that as much as we are alike, we are all different! I hate it when I lean toward the philosophical.

I still struggle with the same issue. I am not ashamed or guilty for being a crossdresser. In fact if someone could wave a magic wand and make it all go away I would run and hide until the wicked witch was far away. Still. there are times........... I am blessed with an SO that loves me and supports me in every way. Yet she silently wishes it was not part of our life. Is it guilt I feel? I'm really not sure. I'm not sure I fully understand the difference in this case between guilt, discomfort, or some other term that I can feel but not describe. When we are socializing with our friends, all accomplished athletes, I develop feelings that I am in some ways diminished in her eyes because of who or what I am. Is this guilt? Or is there another, perhaps less critical term that might be a little softer and and more comfortable.

I simply don't know but I wish it would go away.

[Karren H]

No!!

[ArleneRaquel]

I would feel guilty if I didn't dress enfemme.

[Rebecca Jackson]

I used to feel a lot of guilt in my younger days, but now I'm learning to accept that this is who I am and that it's okay. It took a long time to realize that just because society views this as wrong doesn't mean that it is wrong or that I should feel ashamed. Who's to say what is "normal".

[MissyW]

I did feel guilty when i was a teenager, but not anymore. As the dressing became a more permanent fixture in my life, the guilt subsided.

[Cathytg]

Feel guilty? I used to have serious feelings of guilt. Eventually I came to see that I was simply doing what came naturally and that I was harming nobody. And the guilt went away.

Sexual pleasure? You bet! There was a time not so long ago when dressing was always a sexual event and my good Catholic upbringing left me with awful guilt feelings. But in the past several years the sexual side has gone way down and the guilt from that has vanished.

Ranting is a good thing and you do it well. Your guilt might just vanish like mine did as you gain a different perspective on your dressing.

[danacd96]

I think you can see from my smile theres no guilt felt here!!!

[Desiree2bababe]

YEs, afraid so..........

[PatriciaT]

I used to feel very guilty. About 2 years ago I discovered the CD community on the Internet and saw the fine kind of people who are in it. I am now glad to be a member, and am no longer guilty.

[TorieGG]

I've always felt guilt is something our parents taught us to keep us in line. However as I've gotten older I've discovered you don't have to feel guilty about ANYTHING unless it hurts someone else. If your CD activities make you feel good and don't hurt anyone else where is the harm? There's no need to feed those old habits of feeling "dirty/guilty" about something that makes us feel good if it doesn't hurt anyone else. Life is too short. ENJOY!

[palover]

Yes your thoughts do make sense

I've always felt guilt is something our parents taught us to keep us in line. However as I've gotten older I've discovered you don't have to feel guilty about ANYTHING unless it hurts someone else. If your CD activities make you feel good and don't hurt anyone else where is the harm? There's no need to feed those old habits of feeling "dirty/guilty" about something that makes us feel good if it doesn't hurt anyone else. Life is too short. ENJOY!

[Daintre]

When I first started crossdressing, no I did not feel guilty, I felt all alone but did not worry that I was doing evil things. It was when I went to the library to find out about cross dressing that I became ashamed and felt guilty. The reference books I read all said that crossdressing was abnormal, the reference books were in the Abnormal psychology section. So for a 13 year old boy, this turned my world inside out. You have to remember that this was the prehistoric times, no internet, no one to turn to. I had a father I turned to and he thought he could beat it out of me...oh yeah....I felt guilty.

[Kasey66]

not so far.

[Barbara Dugan]

crossdressing doesnt make me feel gulity but I hate myself when I lied to hid it

[joaniek]

I've been cd'ing for many years - I don't feel guilty at all when I'm dressed. But when I'm not - lot's of conflict in the world I live in. Okay sometimes at home ... just happier wearing what I want to ... when I want. Only wife knows and she's pretty much ok - but because I feel so guilty, she's becomes uncomforable. If I get over it... she's ok too. So I'll stick w/ being lucky to have an SO who's in on my secret and doesn't threaten me w/ it.

[Alice Torn]

Because i never found a girlfriend matched to me, and am not attracted to most women today, i do feel some guilt, that when dolled up, i am more attracted to the lady in the mirror, than the vast majority of women. And, for many years, dressing ended in self release, then, immediately big guilt! Now, I don't have the sex energy, very strong, and often just dress, and take pics, then change, with no whoopy. The guilt from a lifetime of going solo, though, makes me wonder, if sexual shame, would keep me from being at ease, with a mate! Sexual shame, was big in my parents' families. Treetop Louise is such a dreamgirl, that, most women can't compete with her, in my eyes. However, i do notice many gg's, who put her to shame, but, i have no chance, to befriend, and date, and, even if i do befriend, have lots of guys competing for her, and, being low income, have nothing to offer. However, friendship with a real, charming attractive gg friend, humbles me, and i realize that i am a guy under the doll clothes, and cannot be a true lady. Acceptence is a big word. I have not dresses, in about three weeks. Both my parents, are not going to live much more, and both brothers are in jail awaiting trial a year from now. So, i do feel some uneasiness dressing right now. Great thread, Doc! Lots of intreresting posts!

[sleeplessone4u]

Guilty... yes and no. I don't feel guilty about dressing anymore. Mostly because my wife has become such an active part of this process and that she enjoys it. Before telling her, I felt guilty for hiding it and couldn't stand myself when I looked in the mirror or for the money spent purging clothes. I do have to admit that I also feel guilty because I'm starting to have strong feelings towards men and that my wife is interested in seeing me date a man. Go figure!

[BRANDI66]

Hmmm I don't think so, it makes me feel frisky

[NathalieX66]

A CD'er all my life, then I tried to supress it for ten years, and failed...and now I'm back!
Guilty? No.
Life is way better now.

[Adelaide]

I don't feel guilty at all. It's part of who I am...and I'm proud of it!
A.

[Kinky with Ink]

Guilty? Not at all but nervous about my naughty little secret being found out? Yeah most definately...but that's half the fun after all.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

It used to, but not anymore.

JoAnne Wheeler