Marriage is not a cure.
How long after you move in with a GG, before you're up the wall~ crasy wanting ~ desiring to get girly?
Marriage is not a cure.
How long after you move in with a GG, before you're up the wall~ crasy wanting ~ desiring to get girly?
Simple answer is get born cis-gendered.
Best Wishes
Paula
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Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed Badger.
"Does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? Did she die in vain?"
- Tony Hancock
Marriage is not a cure for anything. How many times have I heard marriage being used as a cure-all for various types of behaviour (some of them a lot more anti-social than CDing).
If you want to stop see a shrink. or get hypno-theraphy or something. Please don't try marriage as it only mucks up another persons life. But then you might hit the jackpot and find someone who realises us CDers are great people to be married to.
yeah sorry, I don't think it's possible. If you crossdress, then you are a crossdresser...it's just how it is. There's no cure.
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Not very long, the desire to feel the soft lacy frabric caressing your bady, the tightness of your bra on your chest, the free feeling of a good skirt or dress swishing back and forth as you walk, those type of things. Once your hooked your hooked.
Why do we talk about cures as if there's anything wrong?
There is no cure.
Everyone who has tried to stop eventually goes back to it. I tried to suppress my TS feelings and didn't dress for about six years, partly due to lack of opportunity, but I couldn't stop thinking about it every day. Eventually the urge just got too great and I bought a few things to dress up in. Last year I decided that I had to live as me and started my transition in January, after speaking to my GP.
living the dream
You can stop dressing up in womans clothes. You can stop putting on make up etc etc.
But the one thing you always will be is a Crossdresser.
Xx Vicky xX
If you CDing and are planning on getting married then tell her beforehand.My Wife kinda had an inkling before (I'd dressed up a few times for a sort of kissogram job I did part time) and after a couple of years it all came out into the open though it was a kind of slow process, over a few weeks, a few glasses of wine I tried on a few items of her clothing ,shoes tights etc, and then finally I appeared fully clothed(without make-up or wig, but with false boobs)She asked me if i was a crosdresser, I took a gulp of wine and said yes.Luckily she said "well we'd better get you a wig and get your makeup sorted then".
I consider myself fortunate though and realise the anxiety and worry of telling your loved one that you like to crossdress.Good luck to anyone out there who's faced with that decision.My advice, just take it slow and don't expect too much too quickly.
frenchie Gina
Oh by the way Paula jane, I loved the Hancock quote Frenchie
Last edited by Di; 07-11-2009 at 07:47 AM.
Vicky is right.....from experience I can tell you that's what I did and it failed miserably...over time I felt more and more that my crossdressing (i always dressed fully head to toe, I started going out to straight places, I wasnt fitting it with other crossdressers, and I was getting more and more anxious and depressed about being stuck as a guy) was more about me needing to live as Michele....
So my marraige is over, I am broke paying alimony and my kids are upset and scared to death despite trying to be supportive..
I hate to be so blunt, but that's the way it is....it's always your choice, but my experience is very similar to most crossdressers and ts folk and unless you have a wonderful understanding forgiving fiance...you are playing with fire..
Stop treating crossdressing as someting bad or wrong it's who we are .. you have no choice just be yourself.
And you better tell her soon.. lets face it she has a right to know
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Lets face facts.
In society today, (at least in the USA), M2F crossdressing is not accepted by and large.
Much more accepted to just be gay.
So, is there a 'cure' for this personality 'disorder'? no idea.
Before anyone jumps on me, yes, it is a disorder by modern standards.
I have this 'disorder', so I'm not being a hypocrite.
If I could have my wish, I would magically turn into a young, pretty, girl, and live my life as a woman.
As a CD'er, I'm too big and masculine to achieve the pretty personae that many of you accomplish.
So, if there was a 'cure', I would take it, as my current state leaves me in a depressed state.
Just my
I have a brother who's left-handed. Back in the 50's this was seen as some sort of affliction since pretty much everything is set up to work the opposite. So they tried to "cure" him. Tried to make him do everything right-handed. How do you think that turned out? I bet you can guess. In a very real sense, we are left-handed people in a right-handed world.
Hugs...Joni Mari
Last edited by Joni Marie Cruz; 07-11-2009 at 10:04 AM.
"Because equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. And the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who's confronted with it."
--Joss Whedon, to a reporter who asked, "So why do you create these strong women characters?"
One has nothing to do with the other. Why are they always clumped together? It's silly.Originally Posted by Drakba
I've been married twice. The first one did not end due to crossdressing. She simply found another man's bed. But it took me almost no time at all in either marriage to find the inside of her closet. Now, that was many years ago, and I've since learned to leave her stuff alone, and grow my own wardrobe. I'm much happier with it, and I feel better leaving her stuff where it belongs.
But I know of no way to stop crossdressing. Not that I've ever really tried....I like it way to much to want to stop. After 37 years of it, I have a suspicion that it's not going to stop on its own. I don't even know how to not be a crossdresser. So here it is: your statement makes the assumption that you crossdress due to a lack or deficiency somewhere in your life, and that it's a void that being married does not fill. That's because one has nothing to do with the other. You dress because you like wearing feminine attire, not because of some lack of female companionship. So you're right about one thing: marriage is not a means to stop crossdressing.
Any money found in the laundry is MINE!
"This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"
www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/
Hmm... I resemble that remark!
I've gone for several years without crossdressing, when in a stable relationship. But it doesn't last; stress brings on the desire to crossdress, and of course, unfortunately it's during those times when I have the least support from my partner, which I need desperately to help me overcome the desire to crossdress. So the crossdressing takes over, and the relationship ends. Sadly.
Much more accepted to just be gay.No they aren't 'related', but we are both outside the mainstream of society which is why we can compare our lives and how the rest of the world treats us. 'In general', we present more confusion to the outside world, because they see a feminine person, which makes them automatically assume that we are trying to attract men. Our appearance is not congruent with our desires. And, I think the same thing as far as acceptance goes, in some ways. It's 'easier' to be gay, because there's a large community of potential SO's there, and there are plenty (at least in larger cities) of places you can go to meet them. Go to any male gay club and it's filled with gay men. Go to any female gay club and it's filled with gay women. So if you're gay, you can be assured that at least you have a chance with someone. Not so with crossdressers. There are no crossdresser-straight girl clubs, anywhere on the planet as far as I know. Yes, if we go to the gay clubs, there is a very, very slim chance that we will meet a woman who MIGHT be interested in us, but it is by no means a certainty.by TGMarla: One has nothing to do with the other. Why are they always clumped together? It's silly.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 07-11-2009 at 11:10 AM. Reason: more info
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
marrage can't cure CDing. I kept a small wardrobe when married to my first wife. she didn't know. Before I got married the second time I purged everything. I been married 5 years and she has no clue I like to dress. I have had the urge to dress lately and have nothing to wear and no where to hide anything. and before anyone asks her clothing will not fit me.
Unfortunately, there is no cure. When you are a crossdresser it’s there for life, you will have to live with it.
Suzanne
If you can stop just stop. If you can't stop, do you really think you can hide it from her for the rest of your life? It's better to tell her sooner. The longer you wait the more she'll resent you. Kinda silly to go through life miserable, isn't it?
Are you saying all crossdressers are transgendered? Might wanna check out the GM forum and see how much some of the crossdressers around here like their male-ness.
If I understand this correctly, you're a crossdresser that has moved in with a gg (your wife) and now you feel like you can't cd or it is wrong to cd, or you just don't want to be a cd anymore?
Of course marriage is not a cure. I actually believed that myself many years ago. But it didn't go away. I completely did NOT understand this aspect of my life when I got married. Thanks to our wonderfully unforgiving society and the whole social taboo, I was afraid to even research it out of fear of being found out... or having to admit to myself who I actually was. I enjoy this aspect of my life very much now though. I have found much happiness in accepting and exploring it.
You can always stop cding if you want to. The desire will be there, but just don't do it... Sure, it will be pretty miserable. Trying to live one's life as a lie would cause misery in anyone.
I kept my cding a secret from my wife for many years. Perhaps you might consider doing the same. It's pretty stressful - trying not to get caught, but you can find your relaxation in cding when your wife is out of the house.
The only way to stop being a cd in terms of mindset, is chemically or genetically altering that part of the brain. The same goes for if you would rather be left handed than right, or would rather enjoy spelunking over playing football. Since specifically targeted chemical and genetic cerebral alterations of this kind are not yet possible (and certainly not yet safe), you're going to be a cd for the rest of your life. Try making peace with that and take it from there... or try to live your life as a lie. You won't be the first to go that route. It just seems like a very unhappy existence to do that though.
For what it's worth, I wouldn't give up this part of my life if I could. The terrible "condition" I believed I suffered from all my life turned out to be a beautiful gift that brings much joy into my life and marriage now.
Good luck, Dana.
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What Gabrielle said. You can give it up and hide it and suppress it and stuff it and pretend you don't want to. Just like you could decide to be celibate for the rest of your life, or pretend to be blind and wear bandages over your eyes. No, I don't really think that genetic predisposition (cuz that's what it is, sister, we are pretty much hardwired this way) determines your behavior, you can fake it all you want, and be the machoest tgirl in the world, so have lots of us, I did for years and years. If you're really strong, and brave, and like frustration as a huge part of your life, then you can. Good luck with it, though.
Jeeze, hon, that sounded bitchy, didn't it? I don't mean it that way, none of us do. But, girlfriend, did you just suddenly decide to be TG? Did you wake up one morning and go, "I think I'll dress up like a girl for a change and see if I can make my life more complicated than it already is. It'd be fun to see if it f**ks up my relationship. Oh yeah!" Did you? It's how we are, there's no just making the feeling go away. Good luck. BTW, you are among friends here, believe me, missy, we all understand.
And, girl, tell her. Tell her now. If not tonight, then next weekend, but soon. Don't drag it out and make her feel like you hid something so essential about yourself. No, it's not like you're Hannibal Lector and want to eat someone's liver with a nice bottle of Chianti and some fava beans. But she does deserve to know sooner rather than later. I do wish you the best, dear, and your wife as well. Good luck, sweetie.
Hugs...Joni Mari
Last edited by Joni Marie Cruz; 07-11-2009 at 02:09 PM.
"Because equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. And the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who's confronted with it."
--Joss Whedon, to a reporter who asked, "So why do you create these strong women characters?"
There is no cure!!
[SIZE="4"]Giving up is not an option!!!![/SIZE]
Unless you want to spend the rest of your life being miserable!!
I think we're born with it, it's been with most, if not all of us since before we were born and as such i don't honestly believe it to be something cureable.
It's not a disease, it's not a virus, it's not an illness of any kind, and as such there is nothing to be cured.
Just my
I am not a doctor, but I am a sane, rational and reasonable man. There is no cure for the urge to cross dress. it is as integral to me as breathing in and out. I have purged over the years but that is not the way and I've always regretted it. Don't think of it as something that must be cured, get some perspective, you're not confessing to mass murder, you just like doing something that harms no-one. No-one.
Peace through superior dress sense..
i'm a crossdresser for life,thank god for that.can you imagine being a boring man every single day yuk
Wow, girl, you could have fooled me.
Hugs...Joni Mari
"Because equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. And the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who's confronted with it."
--Joss Whedon, to a reporter who asked, "So why do you create these strong women characters?"
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