Originally Posted by
Hope
You have well outlined the problem, the way you choose to deal with it is up to you.
Personally I would not hide. Hiding makes you appear to be be doing something shady or dirty or wrong. If you hide your activities from others you immediately become the subject of suspicion even when you have done nothing wrong. People assume that if you act like you have done something wrong, you must think that you have done something wrong, and if you think you have done something wrong, you must be guilty. It's not necessarily true, but you can understand the logic.
Also, hiding makes other people think that what you are doing is abnormal or wrong. We get enough of that stigma already. If you are out, be out.
With your own kids - raise them to e the open minded, tolerant people you want them to become. No one can give you too much crap for being an decent parent, raising well rounded kids who are comfortable in their own skin.
But DO be aware of the stigma we face (and it sounds like you are). Be aware that other people, less enlightened people, people who watch a lot of Fox "news" and run around screaming "think of the children" will be uncomfortable with you. That is a bummer, but that is the world we live in. That puts a extra burden on you to be extra wary, extra vigilant, and to be extra non-pervy with kids (and I don't mean to imply that you are in any way pervy with kids). It's not fair - but there it is.
As a member of the clergy, I experience the same scrutiny. If you think having an alternative life style gets you extra scrutiny around kids, try being a member of the clergy these days.
If I were you, I would behave with other people's children the exact same way you do with your own - with the following exceptions:
1) Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER be alone with children. 2 adults minimum in any room with children at all times. If some one says you touched them - don't EVER let it be your word against theirs, because as soon as the charge is leveled, you are the "pedophile," and "pedophiles lie to protect themselves."
2) See item #1.