Self-acceptance

[meri]

As you may recall, my crossdressing got serious a couple of years ago at age 55. Yes, like many of you, I played around with femme clothing at a very young age and had aspirations of being a girl. Most of that was forgotten until a couple of years ago.

The reemergence of the feminine feelings really rattled my ego and I fought back and resisted. Years of conditioning quickly came to the defense and managed to suppress any self admission that any part of me was actually female in nature.

During a recent battle (a week or so ago), a thought came to me, it was something like "don't fight the feelings, don't resist, open yourself to these feelings".

Well, I did and an indescribable joy descended on me. Suddenly, I was a peace with myself. My internal defense had been breached and I was in full acceptance of myself.

I am what I am -- I am different (perhaps) from most other guys I see and interact with. Interestingly enough, I have a lot more in common with guys I find on this site. I admit that there is a strong female component to my personality and that's OK -- it gives me a great deal of pleasure and peace.


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>>>> So, to the question -- have you arrived at self-acceptance or are you in denial, fighting your self-imposed demons?

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[Kimmy55]

I accept who I am and what i truely think I was born to be.But like yourself I was 50+ yrs old before I finally accepted it

[Carol A]

Life is a lot happier once you totally except your fem side

[vivianann]

Life becomes alot sweeter once we accept and embrace our femininity.
I have finally found the real me through femininity.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Self acceptance is one of the hardest things for each of us to do, yet with it comes the greatest peace on mind and enjoyment - now you can feel free to express that feminine aspect of your being.

JoAnne Wheeler

[sissystephanie]

Well, I did and an indescribable joy descended on me. Suddenly, I was a peace with myself. My internal defense had been breached and I was in full acceptance of myself.

I am what I am -- I am different (perhaps) from most other guys I see and interact with. Interestingly enough, I have a lot more in common with guys I find on this site. I admit that there is a strong female component to my personality and that's OK -- it gives me a great deal of pleasure and peace.

So, to the question -- have you arrived at self-acceptance or are you in denial, fighting your self-imposed demons?

Meri,

Congratualtions on achieving self-acceptance!! I achieved mine many years ago (I am 77!), to the point where I told my fiance before we were married that I was a CD. She accepted me "as is", and we had 49+ happy years together before I lost her. Life is so much better when you accept who and what you are. It allows me to go out dressed enfemme whereever and whenever I wish. BTW, since my late wife is no longer around to do my makeup and fix my wig, I just go out a guy in a skirt! I do accept my self completely!!

[Penelope Marie]

i know i fought against it for a good while. bought new fem cloths and tossed them bought more and tossed them, Each time attempting to prove to myself i am a man. i no longer fight it , that came some time ago but more so with in the recent months. Every relationship i had with a GG failed and left me crushed. i think they could see something in me that fem wanting to be released and could not deal with it. so they broke it off. i am not seeking another relationship with any one for a while. i have to let my dear Penelope out from that cage i forced her into. i think i have done a lot of things in an attempt to prove to my self i am total man. Now i don't even refer to myself as a man but a person. A word that is gender neutral and could go either way. I hope to have this male body that i do not feel comfortable in refashioned into the female body i need. Word to all those who struggle with being a CD or t/G. Don't fight it but accept yourself and be happy with who you are. Besides, if you are truly a CD or T/G the fight is futile and you will only revert back. That gets expensive after a while.

[Sarah_GG]

Congratulations. Until you can accept yourself, you can't expect anyone else to accept you!

My SO finally achieved self-acceptance at 55, at the beginning of our relationship. As a consequence, we're both incredibly happy and fulfilled.

[Dutchess]

I am going to show my husband this thread. He is having such a hard time with this. I feel bad for him. The more he tries more things and the more he likes it ,,, it seems the more he thinks something is assuredly wrong with him.

The way they were raised in the Netherlands is just really super uptight and silent. Nothing goes very deep to begin with .. very non touching, non emotional folks and that is normal for them . You stay silent and you stay hidden ,,even if it is just a minor thing. I know some people are like that here too ,but this is a hard to explain cultural thing....

I was laying in his lap almost asleep while he was reading the other day and all the sudden he says ...Sometimes.....(LONG silence ) I think ,you think I am a freak or crazy... I said ,,, you know better .

Another poster describing himself also described my husband perfectly when he said that sexually he identifies as a male but his gender identity is fluid ..kind of back and forth I think he meant ..and it is very accurate at our house.

[xAnne_Mariex]

I'm really happy to have finally accepted who I am and will always be, I love this little side of me...although she is getting more and more needy, she wants to come out to play all day every day now

[Joanne f]

I am happy for you , accepting that you have a female side is the beginning of a new journey, now enjoy it .

[Nicole Erin]

I am still working on it. Once in a great while I think "why am I like this?" but that doesn't last long. I think my inability to pass at the level I want is more of a problem than actually being TG.

I'm really happy to have finally accepted who I am and will always be, I love this little side of me...although she is getting more and more needy, she wants to come out to play all day every day now

Heh, yeah women sure are demanding, even the woman within each of us TG folks.

[meri]

[SIZE="1"]Dutchess wrote:
I am going to show my husband this thread. He is having such a hard time with this. I feel bad for him. The more he tries more things and the more he likes it ,,, it seems the more he thinks something is assuredly wrong with him. [/SIZE]

Dutchess,
Please do show this to him and if he would like to email me further, please let me know. I have come to the conclusion that there's nothing "wrong" with me, I am as I am. Fighting it, denying it didn't work. I could succeed in pushing it back for a while, but my true nature also resurfaced to be dealt with. Acceptance was the only solution.

Nothing horrible has happened to me since acceptance, if anything, the pink fog has lifted and I can think and "be" again.

I can't say for sure where this journey is headed, but I figure I am in good hands. I don't think I am headed for a life of living as a woman, but I don't think I am headed for a life as a 100% red-blooded male either. In truth, I am somewhere in between, perhaps closer to the middle than either end. I am at my core, the best of both genders (at least in my humble opinion).

I believe that by becoming conscious of my feminine side, it also allows me to integrate that side into my overall personality.

As a result of this, I am interested to see where this will take me -- but I am not worried anymore. I am at peace.

[Sarah Doepner]

Meri, Congradulations on making the leap and sticking the landing.

It came in stages for me. At first I didn't even know I was fighting against accepting my full personality. I thought I was stressed because of work or family issues and was only using the crossdressing to escape those problems. Eventually I discovered I felt the same about crossdressing regardless of the external stresses. It was a long, slow process. But I've been much happier and easier to get along with since I finally figured it out.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

My wife brought out Sasha Anne when i was 50. Now I am 63 and live almost full time. I am so very happy to be tg. Wish I had done this so much sooner.

[Samantha Kelsey]

Congratulations, you've seen the light and ventured through into a new world. Peace and tranquility riegn here but not everyone can find this place. I'm glad I did and I never want to return to the other place. I'm glad you found it too.

[Marisa_M]

I accept and love so much my femininity and I'm proud of it.
As I grow up I feel more and more feminine and it's a wonderful feeling

In a word I'm really happy being what I am

[lauraabdl]

Sarah has summed it up. I too am accepting myself have been for a couple of years now and I just turned 57. I have found myself happier and I now shop without feeling guilty, just knowing that this is what and where I should be reguardless of how other people see me or feel about how I think or dress.
I love expressing my femme side as often as the situations allow and as long and often as possible. Just my two cents.
Laura Lee

[carhill2mn]

In my opinion it is a big but necessary step to accept and like who and what you are.
Congratulations!

[Wen4cd]

If you accept yourself, totally accept yourself, you will stop trying to better yourself.

Never accept yourself!

(edit: Well, when you're on your death-bed, go ahead and accept yourself. )

[Andy66]

Good for you.

[docrobbysherry]

Because you've FOUND your fem side. And apparently integrated it within yourself!

I also started dressing in my 50's. Unfortunately, I have found NO EVIDENCE of a female persona within, to this point! ( I'm in my 60's)!

I just CAN'T BELIEVE I'm so completely compelled to wear women's things, just for the excitement of temporarily looking and feeling female!

But, that's where I'm at!

[Frédérique]

The reemergence of the feminine feelings really rattled my ego and I fought back and resisted.
So, to the question -- have you arrived at self-acceptance or are you in denial, fighting your self-imposed demons?

[SIZE="2"]I’ve always been at peace with myself. There are no “demons” to fight -- there are only beautiful things to embrace. It all feels natural to me. How could it not be so?
Feminine feelings don’t have to reemerge – they’re your feelings, regardless of title. I say be your own work of art and enjoy this most precious of undertakings…[/SIZE]