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Thread: Got Busted,but the end result is ok

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    Got Busted,but the end result is ok

    Well after 25 years of dormancy Kristy came out of the gate and got a little sloppy. I started spending a little too much time on the forum and got caught here(of all places.) Anyway,I was planning on telling her in the fall,so I was prepared.
    First of all I want to thank all the GGs here for their insight,as well as the educational links provided. Also Tri-ess with the information on their site. We've always had a strong marriage and my wife was willing to educate herself. She realizes I'm the same person she married 36 years ago,and was able to learn about some of "the myths" about CDers. She's not embracing it at this point,but accepting it. We're able to joke about it,and I was able to take my things out of hiding,and dress when she's not home. I still get to go out shopping by myself.(Now I can finally get my Dress Barn credit card )We've set boundaries,and issues of trust,and thankfully the ending has been a happy one. Thanks again for all who have shared their experiences ,and helped me prepare for that fateful day.

  2. #2
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    I guess congratulations are in order, but what took you so long? Marriage is a two way street! Supposed to have open and honest communication at all times! Yours has survived even though you concealed something from your wife for many years. Take it slow and easy now, don't push her to let you do things she is not comfortable with. She is to be loved, loved, loved!!

    Best of Luck to both of you!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member Jaclyn NM's Avatar
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    Good for you, but my advice is to take it slow and easy, so you don't spook her. I say this from personal experience. I wish you the best.

  4. #4
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    Good for you i told my wife of 11 years a few months ago and it was the best thing i have ever done wish i did it sooner but Im free and not holding any thing back from her ever again Jerzie

  5. #5
    Bobbie azcdinhose's Avatar
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    Wow, good for you. I was busted by my 15 year old son, that took some explaining!

  6. #6
    Silver Member Teri Jean's Avatar
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    Kristy that is so great. As you move forward just remember to give her something special also.

    Huggs Teri

  7. #7
    Member LACD's Avatar
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    Great

    Great news for sure Kristy. I came out to my wife about 4 yrs ago. Lots of tension, but you sound like you did your homework. Hope everything works out. Just remember, go slow and talk a lot.

  8. #8
    A girl in a man's body kimkat's Avatar
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    Congratulations. I hope everything continues to go well for you two. Just keep the lines of communication open.
    You're not going crazy. You're going sane in a crazy world.


    Kim

  9. #9
    The Journey Begins AmberDay's Avatar
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    36 Years! Wow, that is a long marriage. I'm coming up to my sixth year in prison next month....errr, I meant marriage.

    I was going to ask why it took so long to tell her, but then I can understand. It came to a point that it you been married for so long you didn't want to ruin anything. You didn't want to scare her away and ruin a long marriage. I'm glad that it worked out for you. I told my wife three months into our dating relationship and even then it hasn't been easy.



    Amber
    “But you can only lie about who you are for so long without going crazy.”
    ― Ellen Wittlinger,


    "we could mix all three, the two gendered and the one non-gendered, "she", "he", and "it", to make "shi...". No, nevermind, that won't work either... "
    Alimarx SDMB 2004

  10. #10
    I'm just me. :) KristiMartin's Avatar
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    Kristy, I'm glad to hear that things are working out well for you and your wife!

    Now, speaking of shopping, If you ever want to go hit some stores, lemme' know, hon!

  11. #11
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    Thanks girls for all the kind thoughts Did someone say shopping ? Count me in.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    Kristy that's good news girl. Now just go slow and Alwas let her know you love her.
    Angie

  13. #13
    Tracy Schapes TSchapes's Avatar
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    I'm Sorry, but happy.

    I don't like it when one of our sisters gets accidentally outed. I do encourage the closeted girls to at least come out to their SO's. I also know it's not feasible in all cases.

    But, I'm so happy you were able to turn a potential disaster into a positive. You did all the right things, you got your facts straight, you listened to the GG's here and discovered what their concerns are. You established boundaries and you are communicating with your SO.

    Like the other girls here, I say go slow, and don't be surprised that there may be some back sliding on your SO's part. It's a process and it will take some time for the both of you to adjust to.

    -Tracy
    Everybody's normal until you get to know them. - Tracy Schapes

    An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
    - Jef Mallett

    Blog: Tracy's Happy Place

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  15. #15
    Kerrie Kerrie Sifton's Avatar
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    Sounds like it is the season for being outed or coming out of the closet. I was preparing to tell my spouse of 36 years when she found a receipt from the corset shop.. oh well, I had been preparing the dialogue and we are now working from there.
    Good Luck

  16. #16
    Fember Lauren Richards's Avatar
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    Based on the thread title, I thought this thread was going to be about your new boobs... Delighted to find out that your time with the computer lead to more openness in your relationship with your wife. I knew these things would eventually come in handy! Congratulations on your 36 years together. Curious about the 25 years you mentioned that Kristy had been dormant. Had you been aware of your CD tendencies prior to marriage, or did they come out later? And what all the others have said about going slow and taking care of her (your wife's) needs, I say ditto. Best wishes to you both as you go forward together. Here's hoping you both have another great 36 years (at least) ahead of you.

  17. #17
    Senior Member StacyCD's Avatar
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    I told my SO after 29 years of marriage. The next year she was kinda quiet and we had a "don't ask--don't tell" policy. She's been warming a bit recently and I have worn panties 24/7 for almost two years and had my toes painted most of last winter. I just painted my toes last week and she hasn't noticed yet. The progress is slow but at least she's moving in the right direction! Good luck!

  18. #18
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    Probably a good thing in the long run. Even though my wife isn't keen on me dressing, I am happy that it isn't a secret festering between us. Plus you can make some humerous asides to your SO as occasion permits. Just don't let it dominate your relationship, and make sure she knows you love her.

  19. #19
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    Update from Kristy

    Lauren,funny you should mention that because I had just gotten some gel inserts from VS a few days before. As for the past 25 years,well like almost everyone else here I was introduced to this lifestyle when I was 8 by my older sister putting me into a dress.The first 11 years of my marriage I still had access to my sisters wardrobe when no one was home.When that ended,the desire was always there,but was terrified to go shopping etc,so I basically suffered quietly for the next 25 years or so. This site was a reawakening,and gave me the courage to accept myself, go out shopping and live my life to the fullest .For the first time ever,I'm comfortable with myself and Kristy. As everyone suggested,I'm going slow with my wife,and agreeing to the reasonable boundaries. I love her more than ever,and let her know that everyday. Again, I have this site with all the advice and support to be thankful for. You girls and GG's are the best !
    Love,
    Kristy

  20. #20
    Senior Member dawnmarrie1961's Avatar
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    Kirsty, All is well that ends well. I'm glad everything worked out OK for you.

    Be safe. Be smart.

    Dawn Marrie
    CANCER IS A BITCH SO YOU HAVE TO BE MORE OF A BITCH TO BEAT IT.

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