It is sad to see Lauren deciding to leave this forum and stop dressing for a while. I think that she made many insightful observations about the crossdressing community in her post.
Although I agree that I see many self-centered crossdresser, I don't quite agree with you that crossdressing is the cause. It is just that these people are self-centered people in their own nature. If they happened to be into motorcycles, they will be self-centered bikers.
Crossdressing just happens to exaggerate the conflict in life with family. It is in-denyable that crossdressing is different from motocrossing, because crossdressing touched a deep issue - men and women. That is one of the foundations of family - men and women in a sexual sense.
Then there is another foundation of family - lover, caring, and tolerance. Usually (in the most common cases of heterosexual partners used as example here, other cases are the same), these two foundations are aligned: an woman likes a man as a man, and loves him as her SO. But when the man started crossdressing, these two foundations become conflict of each other.
Some women are more into the "men" part, and they found it hard to accept. Some are more into the "caring" part, they found it more tolerable. Some care about both foundations very much so they flucturate from side to side.
The men crossdressers, as the starting point of the conflict, reacts differently. The lucky ones gets the more tolerable wife, and are more focus on dealing their internal guilt and the society prejudice. The more self-centered ones, invoking the "caring" clause of the relationship, and try to coarse their SO's into accepting. This usually ends up in deteration of the relationship. The more "considerate" ones, acknowledging both the two foundation of the relationship, usually take a middle line and trying to find a balance.
And that is a hard balance to make. If the SO is also an considerate person, two of them can navigate the difference and have give-and-take here and there. Occationally there is conflicts but that's part of life. If the SO is a "self-centered" person, the crossdresser may be driven into a "guilt" and "denied" saddened mental state. Some people may end in that state for very long period of time (compared to the male "self-centered" cases which have more chance ending up in seperation, because there is also social enforcement aspect against the men on that).
You see, crossdressing is fun, and it really forces you to think about what life is, what the society is, and what you are. The crossdresser community is just a reflection of the larger society.