Alright people I have decided that I am a lazy CDer. It is true, yup, I am. I am all about buying clothes, or wigs, or books, or hopping online, or even shaving to enhance my perception of femininity. Lately though I have been less inclined to mess with makeup. That is just to much trouble, and to much like work it seems. I even went out a couple of weeks ago and bought some new brushes and foundation from MAC, thinking that would motivate me to again breakout the eyeliners and lipstick, but nope I have not.
Now I have said okay, that is it. No new undies, no new skirts, shoes, pantyhose (I prefer these over stockings as they are easier to put on) until I start practicing with my makeup again.
I think after going out in New York a month ago, when I did not even care about passing, but instead focused on fun had a huge impact on me. Until then I worked on becoming as lady like as possible. I had worked on my voice and walk and posture etc. I realized while in New York all that is okay and fine, but enjoyment for me did not need to include 100% passability. Enjoyment just needed me to accept me as I am. I loved the reactions I got when I talked, in my deep New Zealand accented voice. My walk was definitely that of a man, unaccustomed to wearing high heels.