Well, girls, got a Happy Birthday call from my oldest son Monday evening. Oh my. Well, we small talked and I'm sitting there thinking about "when" to tell them about me as Allison. This being my first birthday as Allison (since my wife died) and the old saying of "this is the first day of the rest of your life" along with what I read somewhere "Honor, as a way of life" playing in my head, well honor includes honesty and trust. Oh my here we go. "Uhm, I have to tell you something, uh umm" on and on like that. I had asked if both he and his lovely wife could be on the phone at the same time so we all were. Ok, so at last, since she said "just spit it out", and I did (after a bit more umming). "I wear women's clothes. I'm a crossdresser" .....silence (ok, yes I can understand why but it was soooo disconcerting) . Long story shorter; They're "ok" with me dressing but do have concerns about their children (oldest dtr is 15) and I understand that. They've all known me only in boy-mode. Son did say (jokingly) that he'd like to see me in a dress with those tattoos showing ha ha and they did laugh and say 'now we know what to send you for next Christmas' (greedy little girl that I am, I'm looking forward to that!). I apologized that I have to "burden" them with how and/or when they'll tell their kids, my grandchildren and they'll have to work that out on their own. Also told them that I love them all and I don't want to lose them in my life or be lost to theirs.
Next up; daughter. She was closest to her mom. Same thing, hemming & hawing, uhh, umm, etc. Ok, finally got it out and told her I wear girl clothes. Told her about going out to the salon for a pedicure (my first!) Tuesday wearing my new capri pants, a cami and wearing Victoria Secret panties. Wow, first time I've gone out in public in girly outerwear. BTW, tootsies look wonderful in OPI "Pretty at the Premier", just in case you wanted to know. Well, my darling daughter is ok with it, too. Her son is about 22 so no little ones to worry about confusing or shocking when "grandpa" is now, uhmm, "grandma"? I told both kids that they don't have to call me mom (as I am NOT trying to take her place and I'm not their mom) but that if they wanted to, they could send me a father's day card on mother's day or the other way around. I told my daughter, when she called my by my boy name, that she could call me Allison but that she doesn't have to call me mom. She interrupted and said "but I could if I wanted to", uh, oh uh, yeah. "Oh Yes! Yes, darling, you could if you wanted to". Oh, don't I have the sweetest daughter? Yes I do!
Ok, two out of three. Have to try and get hold of youngest son and his wife and go through all this one more time. IF he doesn't start to erect a mile-high fence along the border of Washington State, I will feel very good indeed. I do have my hopes that they'll all tell and explain things to my wonderful grandchildren. I also told all of them that if they, or their kids, have ANYTHING to ask me, to ASK me and I'll answer as honestly and throughly as I can. I wish I could have done this in person but distances wouldn't permit that opportunity and the longer I wait, the harder it'll get. I couldn't wait until they come for vacation and then open the door and say Hi! Welcome to Allison's home.
So, girls, there's my story so far. I'll let you know how it goes with the youngest son and his darling wife. If anyone has any suggestions or thoughts on this, please let me hear it. So hard, so hard to say it outloud and the silence on the phone was terrifying but, at least as of today, they tell me they're ok with this. It is my life, I have to live it how I can while I can and they both understand that and even told me that. Ok, sisters in slips (or heels?), off to bed now. It's been an emotional day with my pedi and the phone calls.
PS: (Wednesday) I just emailed pictures of me to my daughter. Told her to be honest. Well, she was. First thing she said was that I looked beautiful, I look good. Well! What woman doesn't like to hear that, especially from her own daughter? She did add, though, that my "boobies" were kind of big and it might draw attention to myself. I agree with that but also told her that if I picked smaller sized breasts, with my frame and shoulder size, I was afraid they would look too small, out of place or proportion to my body. I'll just have to learn to wear clothes that won't hug my form too much. Yeah, right! ha ha She said maybe a C size would be better and laughed when I said "that means more money spent on bras, you know?" She also laughed when I said that since I can pick their size, I can have any size I want! I am so happy and so proud to call this girl "my daughter"!!!
Allison
"I many never be the girl of my dreams...never-the-less, I'm a Girl"!
I'm TS & I've told my family and many others and its never easy.
Originally Posted by AllieSummers
If ever any of them have questions or concerns, you could also tell them about this site.
