What might happen if you go into.....

[SandyR]

The ladies room!

In June I spent what should have been 2 nights of fun/work and Sandy time in a wonderful mountain village. Did not work out.

Here is the setting I get to the hotel check in around 3:30 use one of the carts to drag my one lil boy bag and 3 GIANT size ones for Sandy to the room. All the looks I got should have been my 1st NO GO Sandy......But I pushed through it and proceeded to get all cleaned up and ready for my fun night.

After spending about an hour getting ready and a new skirt/top no hose and these real cute orange sandals off I was for a quick drive with the top down all seemed well put some gas in the car got a big cup of coffee (my big mistake) drove by the lake looked around really nice night. Head back to the room coffee kicked in and I made a quick pit stop in the lobby floor ladies room. No biggy (no one in there but me and I rushed) I thought, back to the
room. Chatting with the Wife and Knock on the door blank bank police dept....Oh geeze....open the door and seems someone saw me going in complianed......

Slaped with a "disorderly conduct".........

Well long story short today it got dismissed today, but only afer going through a eval to be sure I was no threat to myself or others.

Glad it's over.

Just be careful out there Girls...

Hugs!

Sandy

[RebeccaLynne]

And that's why so many are reluctant to be "out and about".

[Olivia]

Good grief!! Disorderly conduct? That is scary! Protect and serve indeed...
O
and some call it paranoia.

[Persephone]

Chatting with the Wife and Knock on the door blank bank police dept....Oh geeze....open the door and seems someone saw me going in complianed......

Slaped with a "disorderly conduct".........

Well long story short today it got dismissed today, but only afer going through a eval to be sure I was no threat to myself or others.
. . .
Hugs!

Sandy

Yipes! Glad to hear it was dismissed (as it should have been!). That "someone" must have been connected with the hotel staff, otherwise how did the police know your room number?

[Tracii G]

Yipes! Glad to hear it was dismissed (as it should have been!). That "someone" must have been connected with the hotel staff, otherwise how did the police know your room number?

I agree.

[Jennifer N J]

do you happen to be a proffessor?

[Sally24]

Sorry the small town decided to abuse vague statutes to bother you. Maine has just joined a small group of states that protect your right to use the "appropriate" bathroom.
http://www.bangordailynews.com/detail/106487.html

Now the title "Vacationland" makes even more sense for us.

[Fab Karen]

Seems like it could be a case of hotel staff-person finding something to use against you.
Unfortunately, there are still some places where we have to consider it, just as black people have dealt with a similar mentality in some locations before.

I looked up the definition:
Disorderly Conduct Law & Legal Definition

Disorderly conduct is a minor criminal offense that may be charged for public drunkenness, loitering, disturbing the peace, and loud threats or parties.

The following is an example of a state statute dealing with disorderly conduct:

"Offense defined.--A person is guilty of disorderly conduct if, with intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm, or recklessly creating a risk thereof, he:

1. engages in fighting or threatening, or in violent or tumultuous behavior;
2. makes unreasonable noise;
3. uses obscene language, or makes an obscene gesture; or
4. creates a hazardous or physically offensive condition by any act which serves no legitimate purpose of the actor."

[tricia_uktv]

I think someone had it in for you but I'm only vaguely aware of the different rules you have in different States over there. I use the ladies whenever I am out dressed and so far have not had any adverse comments.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

No such problem here in dear old England. The beer's better too

[Angie G]

I'm glad it turned out OK Sandy what a total bummer.
Angie

[MichelleP]

Whew, I'm glad everything turned out okay. I'm surprised the cop did anything at all. He must have felt obliged to make his small town constiuents feel safer by citing you, then later the constabulary thought better of it.

Michelle

[Jean Ann S]

I have been out and about in New Mexico quite a lot without any problems
Spent a couple of days out in Taos in sundresses and short shorts with absolutely no problems Also been out out in Santa Fe and Espanola and Alberquerque
JUst as anywhere really have to be careful of small towns and smaller minds
but the more we do it the better for us all

Jean Ann

[Terri Andrews]

I am glad that it didn`t go any further ,there are still a lot of small minds out there .
Plesae don`t let this stop you from going out .

[Angel.Marie76]

Okay, I started this entry one way, and then wiped it because I felt like I was being too presumptious.

On one hand, I can see the police's perspectives given several variables, such things as their own experiences, the town's experiences, and the state's overall view on CD/TG/TS exposure. If you're staying in an area that has little respect for us, then you're likely to encounter significant resistance. From perhaps a blind perspective (and I'll stretch this with devil's advocacy) the police are just doing their duties to determine the truth. If they feel like you were perhaps just a random person crossdressing and screwing around then sure, your intentions /might/ warrant at least a talking to but certianly not a disorderly conduct.

Now, that having been said, as a transwoman going out and about myself, I do carry (at least) a letter from my therapist (who is also TS) that states very clearly what I'm going through, and that my intentions are most certianly with non-harmful intent towards others AND that I'm working with a professional who knows and understands what's going on. If I'm ever intercepted by a member of the force, if they don't grasp the depth of the situation after having this relayed to them, fine. I'll go to court, I'll ask to bring my therapist with me. I would hope in everyone's best interests that it would be a 'big misunderstanding' that would never happen again (not that I would EVER go back to a place that alienated me so).

I admit that I'm cautious about using bathrooms when I go out, and I choose unisex ones when I can, and women's after. I expect that I'll encounter resistence here and there over time, as sad as it may sound.

I'm glad that they dismissed the infraction for you, however I'm curious to know on what grounds and if you're likely to be harassed again by that officer (or department as a whole).

[Granny Gray]

Sandy: Sorry you found some jerk in NM. I lived in Albuquerque until about 6 years ago. For years, I went anywhere and everywhere, including the ladies loo in stores etc. I needed to go, with never a problem. You must have encountered someone with an ax to grind. There are JERKS every where, occasionally they get their drawers in a knot. If you, as you describe your activities you were not, making an offensive display of yourself disrespecting the peace of others in the area, you were obviously hassled unjustly. Granny Gray

[Sarasometimes]

The ladies room!

In June I spent what should have been 2 nights of fun/work and Sandy time in a wonderful mountain village. Did not work out.

Here is the setting I get to the hotel check in around 3:30 use one of the carts to drag my one lil boy bag and 3 GIANT size ones for Sandy to the room. All the looks I got should have been my 1st NO GO Sandy......But I pushed through it and proceeded to get all cleaned up and ready for my fun night.

After spending about an hour getting ready and a new skirt/top no hose and these real cute orange sandals off I was for a quick drive with the top down all seemed well put some gas in the car got a big cup of coffee (my big mistake) drove by the lake looked around really nice night. Head back to the room coffee kicked in and I made a quick pit stop in the lobby floor ladies room. No biggy (no one in there but me and I rushed) I thought, back to the
room. Chatting with the Wife and Knock on the door blank bank police dept....Oh geeze....open the door and seems someone saw me going in complianed......

Slaped with a "disorderly conduct".........

Well long story short today it got dismissed today, but only afer going through a eval to be sure I was no threat to myself or others.

Glad it's over.

Just be careful out there Girls...

Hugs!

Sandy

Can you give us the heads up on where abouts this happened? Mayberry?

[Mandyflcd]

Sorry to hear about the problem but glad to hear it was resolved. You should never have had to go through all of it in the first place. In a correct world the cops would have gotten in trouble for harassing you.

I used to travel to Albuquerque a lot and went out dressed quite a bit. The only time I had to use the restroom was when I was at one of the adult toy / video stores in town. I went to use the ladies room and the door was locked. I was walking down the hallway when a female employee came around the corner and asked if I needed her to unlock the restroom door. I said yes and followed her. She went straight to the female door and unlocked it instead of the male restroom door. That meant more to me than that employee will ever know!!

[SandyR]

Wow! I did not expect so many replies, but they are comforting and I appreciate them very much! But what else coud I expect from this site it's always been a great source of support. To those that have emailed me with support/advice thank you as well.

I really don't want to say the exact location in a public forum since I often travel there and wish this place no harm at all.....it rocks!

PM me for details....

Hugs!

Sandy

[Jamie001]

Why do we have this problem in America and why do we feel the need to have separate men's and women's restrooms? In France, many of the restrooms are for men and women and there is no distinction. There are separate stalls and everyone just goes about their business. What is the problem in America?

On the other hand, I remember reading on this forum last year about a woman that came out of the women's restroom and said that there is a man in there with her and her daughters. Her redneck husband went berserk and wanted to kill the TG person that was using the restroom. It is really scary out there when these imbecile rednecks are roaming the streets.

[Fab Karen]

At the very least don't patronize that hotel.
As I understand the law, if the cop did not witness the event, the person who called the police would have to press charges to get them to punish you ( assuming there were no other witnesses ).

[SandyR]

I don't plan to stay there again.

The cop did not witness, but the patron did and was present it was also caught on video....

Sandy

[TSchapes]

I do believe they were in the wrong and like you say, you don't have to stay there. But if I may, if you had a room and a bathroom in it, why not wait to go to the bathroom there? Me personally I hate public restrooms just because they are dirtier than the restroom in your own room. Just a thought.

-Tracy

[Gerard]

Whoa. Good to hear nothing came of it, but I think they were wrong in the first place.

I can understand the police checking you out and having a chat, if they get a complaint, but that should have been all.

I still don't really get why we have separate male and female restrooms in places where they have stalls with lockable doors. I wish that they would just get rid of the whole concept in most places.

[tiffanyjo89]

I'm with Gerard, and usually the male restrooms have less stalls and they usually aren't kept up that nice.