I read that sally along with the comments. I am amazed even ina country where people r supposed to liberal than in the old world like ours,that the majority people have made such comments.Originally Posted by Sally24
I read that sally along with the comments. I am amazed even ina country where people r supposed to liberal than in the old world like ours,that the majority people have made such comments.
urmila
I don't mean to be rude, but if you're a guy, why not use the mens room?
Remember that there are significant differences between men and women. We dicuss the unfairness of women crossdressing all the time, but rarely discuss the advantages of being male.
Do you think men really care if a women uses the mens room? no, most would probably like it.
I'm not saying you deserved what happened, but if a member of the hotel staff called the cops (probable), you must not be all that passable, so why were you tempting fate? Remember that the hotel staff are concerned about the guests' safety and the appearance of such. Having men in the ladies room won't help all that much, get it?
All the Best,
SS / Ann
Sandy, I'm not going to make my usual speech on the virtues of using to correct bathroom for your gender because that often falls on deaf ears. And gets me in trouble with the rest of the people here.
I'm just glad you're OK.
Don't be upset with the officers. They were only doing their job. When the get a call about suspicious behavior they have to investigate it.
Learn what lesson you want from the experience and move on.
Be safe. Be smart.
Dawn Marrie
CANCER IS A BITCH SO YOU HAVE TO BE MORE OF A BITCH TO BEAT IT.
Another idea is to ask the hotel staff if they could watch the door while youre in there to prevent others from coming in. I think it shouldn't matter myself so long as the person means no harm to others.
Amen sister.
"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe
Your post gives me conflicting feelings. I use the ladies room only when very desperate and when no gender neutral facilities are available. Suffice it to say that while I try to avoid doing it when possible, I HAVE done it, and it scares the hell outta me each time.
The thing that strikes me about your post though, is that you took a chance that you didn't need to. Sometimes need, want, or desperation forces us to take chances or risks. That's life. The thing is, you were in your own hotel, and could easily have gone to your own private room and used the bathroom while risking nothing. Instead, you made the conscious choice to take the chance of using the public ladies room. Don't get me wrong, I promise I am NOT slamming you or flaming you, I simply find that choice to be interesting and worth commenting on. As for myself, if I'm with in a few miles of my hotel when the need strikes me, I will often return to my hotel specifically to use my own bathroom, rather than risk using the public ladies room.
Sound advice and I do appreciate it!
The bottom line is "it is what it is" I know I learn from past actions and move on. At the time it seemed like no big deal, but turned out otherwise.
Life goes on......and that's a good thing!
PS - next time I'll wait until I get to my room. On vacation until 8/31
Sandy
Last edited by SandyR; 08-21-2009 at 01:19 AM.
Real Men can Cook in Heels...
There are many areas that just aren't transgender friendly. Be familiar with your surroundings. Someone mentioned asking the hotel staff to watch for you, while you were using the restroom; that might be a good idea. I've attended TG conventions in different cities, usually the hotel that the event is hosted at will tell us which restrooms we can use. It might be a good idea to ask the hotel this question; especially if you have to go and can't get to your room.
Dana Ryan
I'd share my experience with local and statewide LGBT political organizations. They can quickly get the word out to thousands of individuals who would belong to scores of organizations that might use your experience when they decide where to hold business functions.
Unless the hotel was completely independent, its owners probably own other hotels. If there is a franchise involved, there are other franchisees in the state.
A bit of bad buzz might hit them in the wallet.
All gender-variant individuals need to be very careful of what we do in public restrooms. If questioned about what why you were in there, explain that you were there to urinate or defecate, wash your hands hands and check your appearance. Follow the explanation with a question: "And what do YOU do in the restroom?" You might add a comment about Senator Larry Craig.
What's between your legs and what you like to do with it is your business, not mine. Please give me the same courtesy.
Everyone who refers to sexuality as a preference reveals their own bisexuality.
I hope to live long enough to see a time when one's sexuality or gender identity is no more important than one's religion or politics.
DO link up with your local support group. It's an easy way to meet similar people, help others, educate the public and be part of the political process.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tallelsa/
Seems to me that New Mexico is one of the few states that allow the use of restroom facilities based on the gender one is expressing.
Lisa
I know that when you take a chance with the men's room you risk life and limb, but I still don't blame women for not wanting us in the ladies room no matter how we are dressed. Sorry if I ruffle feathers.
Best advice in the whole thread.
xxoo
Jennifer
I agree... With your room being so close it seems like you may have been pushing the envelope a tad. Glad nothing bad came of your experience.Best advice in the whole thread.
Kelly
Glad you walked away in good standing. Could have been worse
It's a shame it happen to you and all the BS you had to go through because of it.
But, like others have said: Was your room really that far away?
I am not saying always run and hide, but when you have a choice of a private or public place to go why choose the public?
New Jersey is another state that has laws allowing the same thing.
But - two notes of caution:
1) Just because you can I would still suggest you get in and out as quickly as possible, don't linger about.
2) Just because it is a law [In these states] and you can do it does not mean every busybody with a stick up their ass and an ax to grind still can't cause you grief and bullshit. And In those cases - See rule #1.
Last edited by Sammy777; 09-17-2009 at 10:34 PM.
Warning: This post may contain up to 63% post consumer recycled Sarcasm ... or Peanuts."
"Sammy, really next time do try to make your point without being quite so abrasive." -RD
New Mexico and Colorado both have anti-discrimination laws that protect transgender people. If it was either of those states, the officer was out of line. New Mexico was one of the first states to protect transgenders and the university has instituted unisex restrooms, Colorado came on board two years ago.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
I agree with what Kimberly says. I'd rather take the extra time and trouble to go back to my hotel room to use the bathroon, rather than risk ruffling someone's feathers using a public restroom. Everything came out OK I see, however, please be careful in the future. Don't want anything bad to happen to you. Safe travels.
To use or not to use, that is the question. Whether you were in the same hotel as your room or not, is not really the point. You decided to use the restroom of your choice probably based on your past experiences and the moment's need as expalined in your first post. As a lot here have said, you never know when you may bump into an idiot, etc. who has to make their point. Regarding the comments about the cops "just doing their job", they could have just as easily explained to you about the local feelings and laws about men dressed as women using the ladies room and give you an unofficial warning. If it was a small town, so what, that does not give them license to be a**holes to anyone for any reason. They need to show good common sense and professionalism.
Someone mentioned above the posted experience of a personal friend of mine who was threatened by the husband after the wife made false claims about her using the women's room in the town right next to the University of California campus in Berkeley. The police sided with my friend and the situation died once the husband and his wife were informed clearly and professionally about the state laws here in California. Another friend of mine was taken in after using the womens restroom in a small casino away from Las Vegas. It shook the hell out of her, but all charges were dropped. Another case of someone trying to make a case out of nothing, maybe as she thinks, someone having a grudge against her (she had frequented that casino several times in the past).
Yes, we as CDers and Tgirls take the chance whenever we walk into a ladies room. However, we also take a chance whenever we walk into a male restroom as a male in the wrong part of town. S**t happens anywhere, so I do not see any increased risk for us using the restroom of the gender that we are presenting, as long as we are not breaking any laws. Therefore, know the laws where you are at, and when in doubt ask the people in charge, hotel staff, restaurant employees, etc. which one to use and then follow their directions.
Last edited by AllieSF; 09-17-2009 at 10:58 PM.
What a bizarre situation. As a former hotel employee I probably would have done nothing in this situation, assuming there isn't anything else in the story that we don't know about.
The hotel staff has a lot more important things to be doing than manning the potty time for crossdressers watch.
It must have been a really "small mountain village" to evoke such a reaction.
Hugs, Carole
Well, this will probably get me yelled at, but here goes...
I believe that a Women's restroom is for a woman and a Men's restroom is for a man, regardless of the outward pretense being displayed. Now, I don't think it was right to arrest you, that does sound hickish.
But, a man, no matter how dress, should use the Men's room. I have a 6-year-old I let go alone into the Women's restroom, I wouldn't want her in there alone with a man, whether he's in a dress or not! Try putting yourself in there shoes (no pun intended).
Because everyone with a penis is going to molest your precious little cupcake right? Give me a break. Women kidnap children all the time. But your out and out sexism prevents you from seeing that I see. I hope your daughter is safe around women who you wrongfully think are all amazing great people!
Women bring little boys into the girls bathroom all the time. Men bring their daughters into the mens restroom. Watch your child, don't just assume based on your own narrow sexism. That is what puts children in danger, not someone using the bathroom that reflects their gender.
For those nice, friendly words of encouragement. I can feel the love oozing out of your post. I certainly hope your attitude is not representative of this entire board; and I'm wondering, are we all not permitted to freely express ourselves (as you just did)?
Hopefully you don't have little children because you obviously don't know a few things about them, like that 6-year-old's are too old to go into the opposite sex's restroom, and that men are hundred-fold more likely to molest children than women.
BTW, I've been CD'ing for 40 years and I've NEVER went into a woman's restroom; so it is possible to into the men's room in a dress.
Agreed.+1
I remember when you posted about this trip. glad the charges are dismissed. its a shame you had to go thru the legal trouble to start with
