Side Trip

[MichelleP]

I just found out I'll be travelling for work at the end of September to a place very close to where my mother is buried. I've decided to take a side trip to see her grave for the first time while dressed. I know this probably sounds silly or maybe even creepy to some but I never had the courage to tell my mom about being transgendered. Though I tell myself she knew from the very start, I never actually TOLD her. I never acknowledged what her feminine perception informed her from the beginning about her baby boy. And although I denied it and over compensated trying to remove that doubt, she remained perceptive and persistent through it all. She never discouraged me from being who I am. I know my little road trip won’t wipe away any regrets but still… I think I’ll take a short drive out of the big city and take her some flowers and give a little curtsey to the woman who knew me before I knew me and say “Hi mom I’m Michelle, we never had the chance to meet but, you’ve known me for a long, long time….

Michelle

[pattyv]

Michelle-that is so touching. Your Mom will be so happy to meet Michelle, and getting flowers for the first time from her daughter will be such a special moment for you both.Make sure you have no runs in your stockings-you know what Moms are like!!
With hugs and love to you both.
Laura.

[Marcia Blue]

[SIZE="2"]I was quite moved by your side trip plans. I hope that you have great trip.[/SIZE]

[ReineD]

It isn't silly or creepy at all. You need to do this to get closure for yourself. When you are there, you will close your eyes and feel your mother's acceptance. Your heart will feel lifted.

[JenX]

That sounds very cool and therapeutic.

[gretchen2]

Cool I like that, and if she was a drinker have a beer.

[Terri Andrews]

I think that will be great ,I did the same thing with my Father and I am not sure why ,but I left feeling better .
Please let us know how it goes .

[kasha]

It's never too late . . . I'm sure she's just been waiting for you to tell her what she already knew.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Damn, Michelle, that made me cry.<big hug> I never was able to tell my Mom, either, she passed away when I was eighteen after a long, long bout with cancer. She knew, I know she did, she found my stash often enough, but I always lied and denied. I so wish she were around to tell today.

I think what you're planning is beautiful and sweet.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Charleen]

I think it's a great idea! Might even do it myself if the chance arises as she's buried 1500 miles away.
I never told her, but I'm sure she knew. She had to as she found one of her bras that she thought she threw away in the back of the shelf in my closet that I added on to so it would fit me! Never said a word except to ask if i knew anything about it. I of course denied any knowlege, (duh), and that was that. so yeah, if I get the chance, I'll properly introduce her to her daughter. My Dad's in the same grave and will probably
get to spinning.

[sherri52]

Your mom will appreciate the vsit and still love Michelle

[Phyliss]

MichelleP, a bit of advice from one who has "been there".... Bring along some extra hankys, you're gonna need them. Don't spend too much time on the mascara, it'll be running down your face.

A number of years ago, my "guy side" visited the plot where both my Mom and Dad were laid to rest. I wasn't "dressed" at the time, ( fact is, I didn't even know I existed ). He cried like a baby, and felt good about it. Felt such a release of emotions and became happy with himself, finally.

As ReineD says, "clousure" is the most important thing.

Say hello to her from all of your sisters

[Gerard]

Very moving post and I think it's the right thing to do.

I haven't told my parents yet, but I'm planning to as soon as my dad retires next year. You've made me more resolved to do so, thanks.

[Tracy_Victoria]

Good luck Michelle

Some time we do things, with out know why we have to me? ie to me, my desire to crossdress is still a mystery, but it something I enjoy doing.

If it feels right for you to do this, then go for it, and I hope it all goes well for you.

[MichelleP]

Thank you very much for the kind words, girls.

Phyliss, you've made me realize that it is going to be a bit more difficult than I had originally concieved. You're right about the extra hankys.

Michelle

[Phyliss]

Thank you very much for the kind words, girls.

Phyliss, you've made me realize that it is going to be a bit more difficult than I had originally concieved. You're right about the extra hankys.

Michelle

Yes it will be, but now that you've had the thought, you'll not feel right if you don't. Afterwards you'll feel so good having removed that weight.

I probably would have said more in my first reply, but just thinking about that time made me begin to cry all over again. But a good cry.