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Thread: Do I want to feel like a woman, look like, dress like or just be a woman?

  1. #1
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    Do I want to feel like a woman, look like, dress like or just be a woman?

    I have been thinking about this a lot.
    Do I want to feel like a woman, look like, dress like or just be a woman?

    I love my life and I would not like to loose anything I have now so . . .

    I love feeling like one or what I think one should feel like.

    I cannot even answer this one for myself.
    I guess this is one of the reason this great website is here . . . to help me figure this out.

    If it even matters that we figure this out.

  2. #2
    Just a girl at heart too Kerigirl2009's Avatar
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    MMM good question, I think for me the answer is always changing, most times I want to feel what a woman feels, and look like a woman at the same time.
    Sometimes when I have time to think, I sometimes find myself thinking I would love to be an actual woman, complete in everyway. It is frustrating sometimes. I think I would love to answer this question truthfully, I would LOVE to know what a woman is feeling and be able to capture that feeling inside of me as me.
    Recently, I find myself wondering, I love the thought of being a woman however I would not want to lose my family over my feelings of gender confusion.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Miranda09's Avatar
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    Well Prene, these are questions you'll have to answer on your own. It's a matter of philosophy and what YOU want to do, accomplish, or enjoy with your feminine side. All I can give you is an example...myself. I really love the feminine feelings that overcome me when I dress. I feel sexy, sometimes I think I look sexy, and even act sexy in a feminine sort of way. This doesn't really mean I want to BE a woman or even LIVE as a woman. I just want to experience what it's like to be a woman, as much as is possible. Maybe this helps??

  4. #4
    Senior Member StephanieC's Avatar
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    Good question. For me, I just want to live my life....do what I do, regardless of gender or dress. What I do should define me..."the essence", not the superficial. <sigh>

  5. #5
    Gold Member sherri52's Avatar
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    for me it's both dress like and feel like. I can't get away with looking like although I try, and I am hetero so that should tell you I don't want to be one

  6. #6
    ☣Bio-Waste☣ Cheshire Gummi's Avatar
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    I can't tell you who you are.

    If you want to figure it out, try each one for a month, find your comfort zone and stick with that.

    If you're comfortable with more than one, be more than one.

    You will get no better advice as this thread slowly degenerates into a "Talk about yourself" exercise.

  7. #7
    Complex Lolita... Frédérique's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prene
    Do I want to feel like a woman, look like, dress like or just be a woman?

    [FONT="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="2"]Hi Prene! Great shape you’ve got there…

    You work in to things slowly. You dress like a woman, and you like how you look and feel, so you develop how you look, and the feelings come along for the ride. You can take it as far as you want to – there’s no limit. I don’t think you can “be” a woman simply by dressing like one, but my puny opinion is just one of many around here. I dress to feel comfortably vulnerable, which may or may not be how real women feel – I call it “voluntary emasculation.”[/SIZE][/FONT]
    In adolescence he felt rather a misfit, as gifted children do.
    He must invent his stories, his pleasures, from scratch.
    He creates a world around him that hadn’t existed before.
    To pretend to be an orphan, alone, is a form of narcissism.
    The elusive self keeps peeping through…

  8. #8
    (not a whale)
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    Be

  9. #9
    Silver Member Teri Jean's Avatar
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    I cannot tell you how to feel but be true to yourself. I have finally come to my decission and will be moving to transition the end of the month living full time as a woman. Good luck and remember it is scary but you may be surprised as to how others take it.

    Teri

  10. #10
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    Smile

    I am clear that I love womens clothing , the frillier the better , always have done and always will do .

    I am a man who like to cross dress in womens clothes , thats all .

    I have no deisre to be a women , nor feel like on

    Betty

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by prene View Post
    I have been thinking about this a lot.
    Do I want to feel like a woman, look like, dress like or just be a woman?
    Only you can figure this out Prene, you have to find your own comfort zone where you are happiest, we all do this for whatever reason makes us happiest
    Last edited by Deborah Jane; 09-14-2009 at 12:41 PM. Reason: spelling

  12. #12
    Member PhillyGuy2Girl's Avatar
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    For me I love to dress and feel like a woman. I have no desire to have a sex change plus I still like being a guy.Plus I'm 100 percent hetro.I'm usually dressed femme at home most of the time plus I sleep femme and they're times when I can't wait till I get home so I can get all femme up.


    Felicity
    "Its now official,my femme name is Felicity"

    Have to drink to that.


    "Proud To Be My Wife's Part Time Wife"

  13. #13
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    For me it is "Comfort and Vulnerability" - as already said above. But it is also the feeling of being detatched from my day to day world. A bit like having left a plane/train/bus terminal and leaving one's care's behind but not having to connect with those issues etc. that lie at the other end of the trip - a bit of wonderful limbo.

    Lisa

  14. #14
    Secret Agent Gal Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Many of the GG's here will tell you they don't know what it feels like to "be" a woman either. They just know what it feels like to be themself. The hint here, whatever the situation(feeling "male", "female" or both), is to think of one's self as a person and not a "thing" per se.

  15. #15
    Silver Member Alice B's Avatar
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    I want to look like and feel like a woman when I'm dressed. The rest of the time just myself, even though my toe nails are painted, legs shaved and I wear ear rings. I do not feel right otherwise without these traits and am so used to them that I can be my usual male self when not dressed. That said, at some time I push the envelope a bit, but my wife usually makes the necessary comments to set me straight.

  16. #16
    I think one important factor would be defining what your sexual preference is. That may help you.

    For me, I'm leaning towards wanting to live as a woman 24/7, and getting to a pre-op stage. I realize now that I want to be with men primarily. I love the feeling of being treated like a woman in everyway. I've reached the point where I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror as a boy anymore. And I'm much more emotional as a woman.

    So I guess it's different for all of us. You definately have the figure of a woman.

    I don't know if my opinion helps any, but this is definately a good place for you to seek out some answers or points of view.

    Hugs,

    Monica.

  17. #17
    Silver Member BARBARA_MELENDEZ's Avatar
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    is the first time I said this just be a woman

  18. #18
    New Member lahila's Avatar
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    of me is a little bit of wanting to be a woman and a little bit of wanting to feel like a woman, and i guess look like a woman too, lol

    But i am too, like you, comfortable with my life and everything as it is, but if i could choose, i would choose being a woman, and well i guess if i could choose to change between being a man and a woman, , kind of like ranma but when ever i want and not with cold or hot water, lol, that would be the perfect situation i guess, lol but of course that will never happen, so might as well live a happy life anyway :P

  19. #19
    Gender Explorer Meghan's Avatar
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    My whole life since I was six has been spent somewhere in this timeline:

    From age 6 to about 20, I had persistent wishes to just wake up one morning as a girl. When those dreams didn't come true, I would put myself to sleep at night hoping to be forced to be a woman by someone else/something else/some circumstance.

    From 21 to 25 or so, I just stopped mostly thinking about it, though I dressed when I could.

    From 26 to 30, I experimented some.

    From 31 to 36, I just mostly dressed on weekends and was with a man for the first of 3 times.

    From 37 to several months ago, I thought I had it cured.

    And now, closing in on 39, I am finally starting to accept that this is a part of who I am. There is a woman, a large representation of one within me, or some other part of my existence that pulls on me all the time. It motivates me and scares me, helps me and holds me back.

    I am not really sure why...but in answer to your question, I would reply:

    All of the above.

    Meghan
    "No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back."

    ~Turkish Proverb

  20. #20
    Girlie < > Tomboy Sammy777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prene View Post
    I have been thinking about this a lot.
    Do I want to feel like a woman,
    look like a woman,
    dress like a woman,
    or just be a woman?
    Well if your answer is #4 then the first three will just happen automatically.

    The only person that can answer those questions for you is yourself. People can help and even guide you, but the realizations and acceptance of it all and yourself is solely up to you.

    Personally, I don't want to just be a woman.
    I want to be the woman I was meant to and should have been.
    But seeing how that isn't wholly possible I guess I will just be the best woman I can possibly be given what I was born with and current scientific medical technology.

    Warning: This post may contain up to 63% post consumer recycled Sarcasm ... or Peanuts."

    Why do people keeping insisting I be more "PC"? I have no desire to be a "Personal Computer".
    "Sammy, really next time do try to make your point without being quite so abrasive." NP
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgffRW1fKDk *** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UPw4f1oN7g

  21. #21
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    I think that everybody can face his/her crossdressing in a different way. I can say that, for me, is worth the thing that "I ever wished to be a woman" (I could say that I crossdress since I can remember - even preschool), but, seen that, unluckily, I could never be, I decided to keep on being a boy and crossdresser. I say that I respect those that take hormones and surgery, but I didn't feel that it was my own solution.

    So, I'm the way I am ;-)!

    P.S.: Meghan, I LOOOOOVE your avatar!

    See ya
    Simona

  22. #22
    Banned Read only Satrana's Avatar
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    Depends where you are on the CD/TS spectrum.

    Assuming you are an "average" CD then it is principally about feeling like, and looking like a woman. That does not answer the question why? Principally it is about you as an individual being denied full expression of your whole personality. As a male you are forbidden to access feminine behaviors/feelings which is wrong because these are human qualities inherent in everyone. CDs sidestep the mental roadblock that our male conditioning erects by creating a female alter ego who is free to express these qualities to her heart's content without fear of guilt and shame and judgment from others.

    So for CDs it is about the rights of freedom of expression. Along the way we also discover the delights inherent in clothes and makeup and also the fun in accessing female privileges by having others treated us as a female.

    But as Denise pointed out, try not to lose sight that you are a person and you should not define yourself by a specific gender. Having seen the light of the gender divide, don't fall into the trap of believing that happiness is found by returning to the fold of the cis gendered "normality"

  23. #23
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    The power of the pussycat!!

    I love to look pretty,wear soft clothes,heels,and have cute hair.And I want the experience of the "power of the pussycat" that some women posess and use all the time. Unfortunately,that is something that can't be bought,so I can only dream!

  24. #24
    Junior Member Metoo's Avatar
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    a very good question. not sure where I would take that. I'm 57 years and I think I'm finally coming to terms with this part of me. Sometimes I do think i would be better off as a wwomen, but know that will never happen or I know I wouldn't take such dastic steps. I have to much to lose. I do have -- what I know an accepting wife (but not yet ready for me to go out in public).mmI haven't tooken that step yet.

  25. #25
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    Here's my homebrew of the 'psychic' answer, from all I've gathered:

    Every individual is, psychologically, a hybrid of traits that are considered masculine and feminine - an even split. All hormones aside, we are all (psychologically) perfectly androgynous if we are human.

    The tendency to label traits as masculine and feminine is the core issue. We are taught to repress the ones that don't match our physical sex, when there really should be no reason to.

    We dress physically to feel a certain way psychologically, emotionally. It feels 'natural and right' because it *is*, and always was, both natural and right to express our full potentials. The longer one lives with repressed traits, the more 'right' it feels to finally express them.

    The feminine personae we adopt are physical representations of these repressed psychological potentials, which grow through life into actual living, inner personalities. These entities encapsulate all of the natural traits we have repressed and labeled as opposite to our birth sex.

    Even if one is fetish-dressing, and in no way personally 'identifies' with this entity, it still exists in unconsciousness in a more chaotic, less developed form that gets projected onto various women's 'things' which come to represent the hidden feminine figure itself.

    So, in ourselves, we can come to be individuated, integrating our repressed traits back into the total picture. All it really takes to get started is to understand that the woman we dress as represents the un-lived half of our own psychic life, and to ponder on this for a while, and experiment until we find the ones that really matter to us. After this, we come to understand 'how we dress' is absolutely trivial to our real identities. We are 'both,' and simply dress as we please, by our own choice, or to affect others and their reactions to us.

    The issue of 'other people' then arises, and while we know 'other people' don't actually create our core identities, we still know that most of them still treat and view men and women quite differently, which can somewhat shape our self-image. Gender then becomes no longer a question of personal identity, and more about how we wish to be perceived and treated by 'other people.'

    At least that's how I view it for myself and what I perceive to be 'most' cross-dressers.
    Last edited by Wen4cd; 09-16-2009 at 08:36 PM. Reason: teh grammahhhhh

    [SIZE="1"]"This Pride of Apparel will appear the more foolish, if we consider, that those airy mortals, who have no other way of making themselves considerable but by gorgeous apparel, draw after them crowds of imitators, who hate each other while they endeavour after a similitude of manners. They destroy by example, and envy one another’s destruction." -Silence Dogood 1722[/SIZE]
    [SIZE="1"]123cry.[/SIZE]

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