2 qestions really:
why is it that most people think that when you say your a cd they automatically think that you are gay.
why is it that in todays society most people accept gays but laugh if you say you are a cd.
I would love to know what you think.
Karen
I suppose if you go around telling people that you're a little plastic disk they're going to jump to all sorts of strange conclusions. Why don't you simply tell them you're gender variant?
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Paula
Warning: This product may contain Badger
Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed Badger.
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Mostly because the silent inference in their minds is that it puts a man in a diminished capacity. That and the fact that the media makes a joke of it or ridicules it and in that respect not too many take it seriously or the people who do it. For the most part they are the objects of derision due to a lack of understanding.
I believe the general public simply assumes that the extension of dressing and wanting to appear feminine is to want to be loved by a man ergo; gay
Gay is becoming more publicly acceptable because of the huge impact of the various lesbian/gay lobby groups and the years of work they have done. Cross-dressing and trans-gender issues have been mostly over-looked in favor of the larger more vocal groups.
Cross-dressing isn't even clearly understood by the medical/psychological community yet as you can see when you read some of the studies on the subject.
And by the by; there is a significant effort underway to get gender identity disorder/syndrome and gender dysphoria out of the DSM [the "bible" of psychiatric disorders] as was done for gays and lesbians in the past. The revised edition is due out in 2010 and the lobby groups are hard at work now.
Excuse the metaphor, but
We Cutting Edge...yes
Ahead of our time....YES
Expressive...yes
Emotional...yes
appreciative of others...yes
We cry...yes
We are the male model others wish they could be!
A Rose by any other name.....[SIZE="2"][/SIZE]
Love Rebecca Jayne
Simple. The overwhelming preponderance of the general population is IGNORANT for the most part and assumes only what have some knowledge about, although that knowing it self is probably both skimpy and unreliable. Granny
Why? the average person in this country can tell you who won the last 5 years of "American Idol" yet has no idea who their two U.S. Senators are. In short, this country has become populated by millions of idiots.
I also think part of it lies with some of us as well. I was looking at some of the Pride photos from my city and the only CD's in the pics were very flamboyent, flashy. It was obvious they weren't trying to 'blend in' like many of us want. Rainbow colored hair, tu-tu's, over-done makeup. I beleive that is the image that the general public thinks of if you were to tell them you are a CD. I hope I don't sound like I'm singleing out those CD's, but, I don't see many pics of the members here dressing like that. I understand that most that dress in that manner are entertainers, but most of us don't dress in that fashion. I could be wrong, but I think that is the image that the general public has of us.
After reading hundreds of threads, thousands of posts from dozens upon dozens of members, it seems to me that most of us here do want to blend in and not cause a spectacle. But, to each her own. That being said, the general public doesn't understand us and the majority of them DON'T want to understand.
Hope I don't offend anyone.
I just want to look pretty.....
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
hi jenny yes I think you are right most of us are not the flamboyant people that dress in that style but just want to be who we are. I don't know if I am right but most of the flamboyant cd's are gay anyway. KarenOriginally Posted by JennyS.
True. And that's why the general public thinks all of us are gay.
I just want to look pretty.....
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Just read some of the threads and posts on this forum. The General Public get their information from many ways, and the WWW is one of the most prolific.
Type in any search words in relation to crossdressing and more often than not this forum will appear on the first page. The main part of the forum, that is the "Male to Female" section is open to the public. They can read all you have to say on the subject, they get to see your avatars, and I believe (someone correct me if I'm wrong) any pictures posted in this part of the forum.
I think we speak volumes when it comes to portraying the sterotypical perception of a crossdresser.
The more that [SIZE="6"]ALL[/SIZE]our community speaks out in public for the right to be recognised, the shorter the time will be before someone will legislate for crossdressers.
But then again I have been 24/7 for 5 years and have had no problems in "doing my thing" in all that time.
If I was you I would stay well out of this minefield.
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
My own opinion on this is that we are our own worst enemy. Look at who our heroes are, those things and people who are the most highly promoted in the CD community: people like Rupaul, Grayson Parry, films like Priscilla Queen of the Dessert, et al. Shouldn't we rather be carrying a banner for those who express and carry their gender variance with quiet dignity such as Renee Richards, Jan Morris, Wendy Carlos, or George Sand and Billy Tipton (OMG - you mean I have to think about MTFs!)?
Just a thought
Huggles
Toni-Lynn
--I'm TN (transnationalist) - a Canadian born in an American's body! I stand on guard for thee!
Small minded men of yesteryear started the rumor of men in dresses are gay. Today it is omly the teaching brought done from thier fathers etc,etc. Modern men of today are still slow to learn. It is the cd's that now understand women ( to a degree ), long before all the others. We know who we are. Congratulations ladies.
ANSWER THE OP'S QUESTION AND STOP TAKING IT OFF TOPIC
per forum rules STOP WITH THE COMMENTS ON WHAT WOMAN WEARAnd stop your arguingPosts or threads ridiculing other members or the manner in which they express themselves, This includes any complaint about the way females, males, transgendered, or any other cross-section of the membership dress,
AND INCASE YOU FORGOT WHAT THE QUESTIONS WERE
why is it that most people think that when you say your a cd they automatically think that you are gay.
Either have a discussion about the above questions or move on.It is not about your sex life or what others wear!
Last edited by Di; 10-06-2009 at 07:12 PM.
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Thanks di people do that don't they
Last edited by Tamara Croft; 10-06-2009 at 08:16 PM.
I hardly find it surprising that folks jump to that conclusion. WE know that gender and sex are different because we are so close to the issue that most of us have had good reasons to learn this. Your average Joe has never had to consider the difference . . .
I blame the media mostly. Every time you turn on the TV and watch an episode of Cops or some random show/movie involving prisons, 9.999/10 the dude dressed up as a woman is going around prostituting himself to other men. Even a good older female friend of mine who supports my cross-dressing thought I was a closet gay for the first 4 years we were friends. It's irritating
I don't know about most. The ones that aren't informed think that. Why not tell them they're wrong. I know I do...
Nobody has laughed at me when I told them I am transgendered and a CD. Again, I don't know what you mean by most. If you don't like the way people think, quit whining and tell them you're CD and proud. Maybe that's the difference between gays and TG. More of them have stood up for themselves.why is it that in todays society most people accept gays but laugh if you say you are a cd.
I would love to know what you think.
Karen
It ain't goin' get fixed by osmosis ladies...
-Tracy
Everybody's normal until you get to know them. - Tracy Schapes
An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
- Jef Mallett
Blog: Tracy's Happy Place
why is it that most people think that when you say your a cd they automatically think that you are gay.
i feel they don't mean to be hurtful when they ask that
gay's tend to dress up and gay people have been out way longer than those who cd. so it is only logical they would ask are you gay
why is it that in todays society most people accept gays but laugh if you say you are a cd.
because cd are still scared to come out in to the real world you can't change the world from your closet
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
This isn't rocket science. Women's attire is primarily geared to sexually attract males. So, if you go through the trouble to appear as female as possible, wearing only female attire, then it is assumed that you, like women, are doing so to attract men. Men who go through a lot of trouble to be sexually attractive to other men are, logically, assumed to be gay. If you're not sure of this, consider the reverse. A girl cuts her very hair into a very short, male style (let's say, a crew cut). Uses bandages to flatten her breasts. Puts on a false mustache. Wears a men's suit, which is carefully tailored to avoid showing any 'female' curves. Wears men's shoes and socks. Would anyone really believe that she is doing so to attract a guy? Nope.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Sometimes_miss expresses what most people, in my experience, seem to be trying to say as they first wrap their brains around the idea that a male would WANT to dress as a female - there has be "a" reason. It's just "normal" to seek a logical explanation; using what you know when you have to start dealing with some new reality.
Echoing what a few others have said in these posts, I find it a lot easier just to allow, "Well, I may be further along the gay spectrum than a lot of people. I mean, I sooooo get it that you can want to be and do something that the majority of people find odd... But, after all, there it is, right? And, after all, somebody has to make up the far ends of the bell curve... Know what I mean?"
I just replace their logic with some of mine. Since most people just want "an" answer and not "the" answer, it's enough to help them out and get them off their big worry that it's all up to them to "approve/disapprove" the card combination they were just dealt.
They "go," at first, with what they think they know. Agree with them AND then help them along to a new understanding of what's going on in the world. People "get it" a lot faster that "it's just a thang" and we then all go on to other things.
If you want to meld this into the earlier posts about people being ignorant, that's fine. All I'm saying is that they are mentally lazy too (the cause of their "ignorance"?) - and appreciate a short cut.
This is all good news for CDers, etc. because if people were more alert, more active, and really cared more, you might not be able to pretty much do anything you're willing to work at...
People will get out of the way of someone who knows what they want, how to get it, and, will do the work to achieve it.
In fact, they'll wind up congratulating you at times, in spite of themselves.
Why?
Everybody loves a winner.
Until recently I knew several gay and one bi crossdresser, and NO straight ones at all that I'm aware of. If some people (you know who you are) go out of their way to hide, can you really blame the public for not knowing they exist?
Last edited by Andy66; 10-07-2009 at 02:28 AM.
Don't really know....
Don't really care..... what people think
People think CD are gay because they immediately think about transgenders. I used to be like that (I'm a girl). A few months ago I would have never imagined that a straight guy could actually like wearing women clothes.
And they laugh because they don't understand it.
What I think? Will and Grace. Probably did more to provide exposure leading to acceptance which in turn leads to a "so what?" attitude.
Case in point, and the sentence doesn't even need to be finished.
Seriously, TV is the mainstream media. Get a multi-season TV sitcom that features "normal" CDs doing "normal" things like getting up and going to work every day and dealing with daily troubles, and CDing will be more accepted, nearly instantly.
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