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Thread: an epiphany

  1. #1
    Junior Member Rebecca Jackson's Avatar
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    an epiphany

    I think I’ve finally turned the corner on this whole self-acceptance issue. Not sure what led to this moment of clarity, but I’ll gladly take it! While I would love to be passable and stroll amongst the general public with nary a worry, but that just isn’t a realistic expectation for me. But I’m learning that I can be comfortable taking smaller steps, and most importantly, feeling good about that. I wore eyeshadow to work today, and I didn’t freak out about people noticing or what they would say. Granted, it’s a neutral shade of tan so it’s not very noticeable, but you can tell if you look hard enough. In the past I’d have been so worried and nervous and I would have made myself miserable. But today I’m simply enjoying the fact that I’m wearing it and that it makes me feel pretty. Last week I also epilated from the waist down (I’m still working my way north!), painted my toenails, and am wearing panties today. And I feel comfortable and happy, and I don’t really care about what anyone else thinks about it. I’m even leaning towards getting my ears pierced. I know these things seem kind of trivial compared to the experiences of many of you, but for me this is big. So I'm happy that things are moving in the right direction. And I'm really happy because I just ordered a dress from Victoria's Secret!!!

    Rebecca

  2. #2
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    Congrats babe Love your post.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

    My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty

    I'm Always Rainbow Proud

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    That's great to hear Rebecca, I am happy for you

  4. #4
    Member Summer's Avatar
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    Way to go

    after all, as long as your happy and it doen't hurt anyone else, that is all that matters.
    Smile and be happy with yourself. You will live longer and enjoy your new found freedom.
    Summer

  5. #5
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Just a little bit at a time, Rebecca.

    And, pretty soon you'll be ALL GIRL, out there!

    Us Closet Cowards, love to read about the exploits of u BRAVE GIRLS!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #6
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Good for you!

    Baby steps! Way to go. Just have fun and enjoy those little things but, be careful....... it can be addicting!
    Kelly
    "one day I'll fly away..... leave all this to yesterday"

    http://youtu.be/kR7NlgwVHHg

  7. #7
    Member MissyW's Avatar
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    Great news!

  8. #8
    Silver Member trannie T's Avatar
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    Good for you, Rebecca. Remember there is only one person you have to please with your dressing, you!
    It takes a real man to wear a dress.

  9. #9
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    Way to go Rebecca. You sound like you're very happy and at ease with your life and that's all that matters. Like you, I take small steps as well, with ear piercing being my next "bold" move. Stay happy!!

  10. #10
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    Rebecca,

    Your post made me very happy. Thank you. I am reminded that it is about accepting who I am instead of trying to be someone I will never be.

    Gennifer

  11. #11
    Silver Haired Member Phyliss's Avatar
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    Rebecca,
    Once you have given yourself permission to accept and LIKE youself , the world becomes your playgound.

    Sounds like a comment from a self help book or something out of a speech by some high paid motivational speaker.

    Truth is: once a person has that epiphany and finally makes the connection, it all sounds like just so many nice words.

    The old adage of: "If you don't understand, no explaination is possible, if you DO understand then no explaination is needed. You dear, have now begun to understand.

    Undies and a little eye shadow at work, ... super. As long as you feel good about yourself, then the rest of the world can, .... well, .. they can.
    Lead me NOT into temptation
    (I can find my own way)
    I HAVE WALKED THAT MILE IN HER HEELS
    CURTSY to all BOW to [SIZE="3"]NONE[/SIZE]


    http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...6284/event.png

  12. #12
    Lingerie Lover RachelDenise's Avatar
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    Sounds like you figured it out for yourself. I applaud you for this. You are now officially on your way!
    Rachel Denise

    [SIZE="2"]“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. ‘Which road do I take?’ she asked. His response was a question: “Where do you want to go?’ ‘I don’t know,’ answered Alice. ‘Then,’ said the cat, ‘it doesn’t matter.' "
    - Lewis Carroll
    [/SIZE]

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Blaire's Avatar
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    Don't you just love thinking back to that moment of clarity? Then comparing that to the feelings you had just one day before?
    Life is simple math: Expectations - Realisations = Disappointments.
    Tell ya what... I won't be too easily annoying, if you won't be too easily annoyed!
    Blogging | Twitter | Google+ |
    Acceptance comes in asking yourself the questions... and not caring what the answers are.

  14. #14
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    Congratulations! The most important opinion in the world...is yours.
    Sally

  15. #15
    Fly Kitty flic's Avatar
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    well done hun!! you should never try and trivialise your own experiences compared to others,,,we're all on our own paths! so i congratulate you on your steps, i'm glad this made you happy!! woot woot!
    x flic x

  16. #16
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi... Rebecca
    To accept your self is a must . for who you are . then you can take small steps & go forward . ... you do get accepted when you accept your self fully ......go for it .
    ... noeleena...

  17. #17
    Senior Member Rebecca Jayne's Avatar
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    How Wonderful

    Rebecca dear,it sounds like you are doing so well and slowly
    inching into a comfortable mode, thats great news.
    I am thrilled for you, it helps to build your self esteem and I bet you are glowing with self confidence, too.

    Small steps are best, keep us updated.
    A Rose by any other name.....[SIZE="2"][/SIZE]

    Love Rebecca Jayne

  18. #18
    Gold Member erickka's Avatar
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    Wonderful news!

    I guess subtle changes kinda go unnoticed, for the most part. Where I live, these small town folks have nothing better to do than be in everyone else's business, so I still don't do anything more than underdress In other words, they surely would see something ain't right with "the picture" I'm glad you are able to be yourself, and show everyone the real you. Congrats!

  19. #19
    Pausing To Femme-flect melissacd's Avatar
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    Rebecca,

    These are not small things. They are important steps in your evolution. I do not know exactly when I turned that corner, however, once I made it past the road blocks I put in front of me I suddenly opened up to a world that allows me to be me and to be much happier.

    Small steps will build confidence and over time will get you to wherever it is that you want to get to.

    Melissa
    What stop do I get off at? Hmmm...

  20. #20
    We all have our dreams... AmiFL's Avatar
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    Way to go......

    I agree with the baby steps part. Have fun as you grow into youself. You look very female in your avatar picture now, so keep up the good work.

    BTW, post a picture of youself in your new VS dress.
    Last edited by AmiFL; 10-13-2009 at 08:51 AM. Reason: typo

  21. #21
    Silver Member Jilmac's Avatar
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    Good For You Girl and remember, nothing you can do to feminize yourself is unimportant. I think most of us have done it in baby steps. The best thing for you is how it makes you feel about yourself as a girl. Don't worry about so called passing becaus most people don't even pay attention to others around them. If your road to feminization makes you happy, that's all that counts.
    Luv and Jill


    Straight, into Fantasy Land

  22. #22
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    Congratulations Rebecca! Now go get those ears pierced.You will wonder why you waited so long.It was a big step for me too. I vacillated for years and when I finely had them done it was wonderful.

    From those who actually noticed,I had nothing but positive comments.

  23. #23
    Senior Member
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    Hi Rebecca,

    What wonderful news and how proud you must be of yourself. I know how proud I am of you...

    Just remember that goals are made of a series of small steps. As long as we continue to take small steps we can reach any goal we set for ourselves, so keep on stepping...

    Nicole

  24. #24
    Shananigan's SO CamilleLeon's Avatar
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    Congrats! Crossdressing is obviously an important part of who you are...you can't deny yourself so enjoy it for all you want to. Be who you are without apology.
    "It makes no difference whether the voices in their transformations have each other to depend on or not. Smooth them out on the whetstone of the universe (tian), use them to go by and let the stream find its own channels; this is the way to live out your years. Forget the years, forget duty, be shaken into motion by the limitless, and so find things their lodging-places in the limitless." ~Zhuangzi

    "everyone here hates everyone here for doing the same thing that they do." - Less Than Jake

  25. #25
    Tricia Dale tricia_uktv's Avatar
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    Rebecca, that is simply the start of happiness and of being you. Brill, and I'm so pleased for you
    I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
    I need to shout, to scream out loud,
    I am Tricia I am she,
    I am who I want to be

    http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/

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