Telling my wife.

[Nicole Marie]

After knowing my wife for 31 years and being married for 23 years, I finally told her that I was a crossdresser. After the initial shock, we started to talk. We've been talking, hugging, and crying together for the past 48 hours. I am so lucky and blessed to be married to the most beautiful and incredible woman in the world. She said that she had her suspicions, especially from earlier on in our marriage when we would play around with "dressing up" but never telling her my deeper desires to dress fully and go out. Discussing it further, I told her of the few times I've been out dressed and that was a bit jarring for her. She's hurt because of all the lying and deception and scared of the future. But, she understands!!! And she's willing to help so I don't have to suffer with it and sneak around anymore. I know, she's an amazing person! We're taking it slowly, one day, one moment at a time but I feel we're going to be OK.

I want to thank all those in this forum who have helped me with their experiences and advice--thank you!!

I hope to give updates as things progress.

[Lorileah]

awesome!

Does anyone keep stats on how many we help here? They should!

Glad it is all working out but after 30+ years you had a good platform to start. It shows that you have made many compromises and have learned to overlook idiosyncracies in each other LONG before now.

[Persephone]

I'd suggest that you give your wife a huge hug, but it sounds like you already have!

[LindaMarie]

Nicole,

I am thrilled for you that it went so well.

As you know from others' experiences (and your own marriage), there were probably be up and down days as your wife begins to process everything you've been discussing. Still, it sounds like you have a wonderful loving foundation and that there's every reason to be optimistic.

I am so happy for you.

All the best.

Linda

[SuzyZahn]

Congratulations sis,on openning up to your wife,,,I`m sure thats been the hardest thing youve had to do in your marriage,,,,Now through open dialogue you two may meet on a plateau that you can live with,,,,I told mine of my tendencies before marriage,,,and always reassured her of my love for her and that she would never lose me to my `other side`,,,,anyways its been good for me over the years,,,and I should stress just one thing,,,,,take baby steps,,,,hugzzzzzzzzz

[Nicole Marie]

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement and congratulations. This is a huge step but we're taking baby steps for sure!

[StephanieH]

Congrats Nicole, you'll feel a lot better about who you are now that all the cards are on the table. Bring her along slowly and constantly reassure her that you are still you.

I'd recommend you let her have a look at the forum here, or if you can persuade her to, encourage her to join up with the GG's. There's a lot of advice here she can get from the other ladies that might help ya'll out.

Take care and God bless!

[DonnaT]

Sounds great Nicole.

Don't forget that this forum has a section for SOs who find they need to talk to other SOs. If your wife finds a need to talk to others, point her to this forum.

[GaleWarning]

Does anyone keep stats on how many we help here? They should!

I'd be interested to know ... my impression is that the number of relationships broken by addiction to this forum is about equal to the number of relationships it has healed.

But I am usually wrong ...

[Sarah5]

Congratulations on finally sharing something so important about who you are! I told my wife when we were dating and while she wasa little nervous about it, she accepted it and has never once asked me to be someone I'm not.

I'm lucky, she has embraced it and even buys me sexy items from time to time and enjoys sharing those intmate times together. For me this is a gift and I am blessed to have someone so understanding of something so special to me

Sarah

[carhill2mn]

How wonderful for you!

[az_azeel]

Thats great Nicole... wishing you all the best in the future and to take it one day at a time ....also give your wife all the time she needs to take it all in..

[Sheila]

Nicole that is good news and as AZ says give her sometime to take it all in, remember there may be days when she is not as comfortable, on those deep breaths and extra hugs for her

[Teri Jean]

I agree take your time and yes give her a hug. But then do this, out of the blue(you need to plan) ask her out for a date. Remember when you were first dating, okay it has been awhile, LOL, but you know and make it her night out. Yeh the flowers , dinner by candle light, maybe dancing and then a nice closing evening together.............. you know. She has been so sweet to you in this moment so now it is your turn. No McDs, got it! LOL Have fun girl and good luck.

Teri. Hugs for both of you.

[Bethany38]

[SIZE=4]Nicole, I am so very happy for you that your wife is handling the news well. So many horror stories have been reported that when I here a good story it makes me very happy for the people involved. I to have an awesomely understanding wife so my own story was nice as well. I think that you and your wife can have a great deal of fun now that the cats out of the bag. Remember to move at her pace and all should be well. Once again great to here a good story of coming out to an S.O.. A toast to you both . You truly are a lucky one.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4] Always Bethany[/SIZE]

[Braceletlover]

I thought I'd have a heart attack the first time I told my wife I wnaned to wear the clothes she had. We'd been together about 3 years at the time. 30 years later, she looks for itemsI can wear too!

[KayC]

Nicole,
I'm so glad for you both that you can share in this together, what a relief that must have been for you! Try to get her to come here and get her ten posts in so she can apply to FAB section.

[sherri52]

Good for you Nicole. The worst is over. Your wife seems understanding and the talking shows the love you have for eachother.

[Leelou]

Thanks very much for posting your story. I've been married almost 9 years to the best-woman-ever (OK I'm a little biased), but I haven't told her. When we got married, I told myself I'd give it up for her, but of course I've failed to deny what really is part of who I am.

Thanks again for posting. It gives me hope that our marriage could survive if I tell her, but for now fear of losing her is winning out over the need to tell her.

I agree with an earlier post. let her know how much her support means to you and give her some extra love and attention to show it. Best wishes to you both.

[Marcia Blue]

[SIZE="3"]Nicole, I wish the best for you and your wife.[/SIZE]

[Adelaide]

Wow. This is wonderful. I'm truly happy for you!.
I wish I would have an understanding SO like you....
A.

[Di]

Wonderful news!

[Missy Anne's GG]

Nicole,

That's wonderful news! I hope it gets better every day!

Hugs,

Anne

[Nicole Marie]

First, let me thank everyone again for all of your wonderful words of support! They mean the world to me.

As for the update, my wife and I have continued to talk, which in itself is great. In addition, she wants me to bring all of my feminine things--clothes, shoes, make-up, etc. to our home instead of where they are now, which is a storage facility by my place of business. She gave two reasons. First, she is concerned about privacy and safety issues, which I totally agree with. Second, she wants me to feel that I don't have to sneak around anymore with this, that our house is just that, our house, and I should be able to keep these things that are important to me in our house! I know, she's an amazing woman. That's all for now, will update as things move forward.

[Christine Rugby]

That's wonderful news for you Nicole. Just remember to keep talking with her and take it slow. She sounds like a great woman.