So a few days ago a switch flipped in my head. But I should probably start from the beginning.
I usually get home from work a good 30 to 45 minutes before my wife does. I decided that, as a treat for both of us (since she enjoys me being dressed as much as I do) I'd get all dolled up for her, something I hadn't done in weeks if not longer. I put on a black button-down top, a leather skirt I just bought the other day, and my wig (black with red streaks). I also did makeup, again something I hadn't done in a while.
So she got home and was pleasantly surprised, saying that I looked really good. I couldn't actually argue this time, even though for the most part I always think I look horrid. We had dinner, talked about stuff, all the usual. I won't get into detail, but later on we were being intimate and a strange thing happened in my head.
For the first time, I actually felt like a girl. Don't ask how one thing leads to another, but it was like someone just flipped the switch in my head from "girl-wannabe" to "girl". I decided to wear my girl underthings to bed that night, something I'd never done, and I slept better than I have in months.
I've been either fully dressed or underdressed since then, and the feeling has ebbed a little at times but hasn't gone away. I made a promise to myself that, unless we were going out or had guests over that didn't approve of my peculiarities, I would be dressed. I plan on sticking to that, hopefully getting to the point where I can go out that way.
This is my first real, honest-to-god step towards the transition that, in my heart, I knew I was going to take. I know there's a long road yet ahead of me, but as the Buddah says, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Mine is now taken, my thousand miles begun. We'll see where it takes me.