Close Call

[Veronica75]

On Saturday I had a close call where I accidentally almost outed myself to the wife... we were getting ready for a Halloween party, me in a vanilla guy costume, she in her girly costume, and I'd had a few already (which I think both got me careless enough to slip and kept me calm enough to recover).

As we're getting ready, she says "I need to find my really dark red lipstick."

I immediately blurt out, "Oh I could give you some." UH-OH.

She laughs and jokes, "What, did your girlfriend leave some here?" (I don't have a girlfriend [at least in the usual sense ] and she knows it)

Luckily I was fast enough to answer something like "Yeah, and you can borrow some of her panties too. No, seriously though, what I mean is I'd be happy to run down to the drugstore so you can keep getting ready."

She said no, that's fine, she'll make due with something here but thanks for offering, and kept getting ready, clearly thinking nothing of it. Whew.

[Emily01]

dodged one there huh?......tell me, what do you think happens if (or perhaps when?) she discovers you look good in lipstick?

[Karren H]

Don't let her catch you touching HER makeup.... not to mention that its very dangerous to share makeup....

[mykhelee]

If you keep your stash at home and live together-she knows

[CharlotteCD]

Nicely done, you managed to go from potential argument to looking like an awesome caring guy in just one sentence!

Kudos!

[Vi]

yeah that was purdy clever. goin with the sarcastic rebuttal ya sly fox

[Hope]

She said no, that's fine, she'll make due with something here but thanks for offering, and kept getting ready, clearly thinking nothing of it. Whew.

Because she already knows...

OR, she is still thinking about it. Don't think you are the only in the relationship who is able to keep things from your spouse, do you?

[Jeanna]

It is possible that you affirmed what she has been thinking about you. My wife borrows my eyebrow tweezers, do you think she has a clue?
Jeanna

[Ashley_in_Texas]

I had a simmilar incident, (pantyhose instead of lipstick) before I came out to my wife. I actually handed her a pair, though. She looked at me a little strange, and said "I don't remember buying these". They were still in the package.

On Saturday I had a close call where I accidentally almost outed myself to the wife... we were getting ready for a Halloween party, me in a vanilla guy costume, she in her girly costume,

Who the heck is "Vanilla Guy", a super hero on the Food Network? LOL.

[Sara Jessica]

Wow, went from a golden opportunity to fess up to a slick little escape to being a hero all in a matter of seconds!!!

Seriously, I know everyone's situation is different but I can't fathom living in a situation where one's spouse or SO is unaware.

[SherriePall]

Quick thinking there. Does she really suspect though? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode.
On the other hand, my wife and I were out one time and she forgot her lipstick to touch up. She asked if I had any on me. I had to tell that I did not although there are times I have left one in my pants pocket.

[sue ellan]

Quick thinking there. Does she really suspect though? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode.
On the other hand, my wife and I were out one time and she forgot her lipstick to touch up. She asked if I had any on me. I had to tell that I did not although there are times I have left one in my pants pocket.

ok you are not the last one

sue ellan

life is like a roll of tp.the closer to the end the faster it goes.

[sherri52]

Good recovery (for now).

[Veronica75]

To answer some of the responses-- she doesn't know, trust me, doesn't suspect in the slightest. She talks very liberally and isn't prejudiced at all, has friends of all manner of orientation and lifestyle, but if an alternate lifestyle showed up in her own house I KNOW she would not accept it. She's my wife, and I know her well enough to be certain coming out to her would be a disaster.

There is some truth to the posts about not keeping a secret forever-- some manage to, many more do not. So far I know I've done it, but that could change in an instant. Often people have to make choices between things that are important to them in life-- being near their family or following a dream job, having the perfect house in nowhereville or living in a shack in a better city. This incident, and these posts, did get me thinking, and I'm quite certain I can't openly CD and keep the family life I have, so a choice may need to be made before it's made for me. And if I have to chose, I'll chose family.

[StaceyJane]

Alot of times we miss what is right in front of us. I don't think your wife knows. Unless she actually see's you dressed it might just never occur to her.

[victoriamwilliams1]

Close one!

[Leelou]

To answer some of the responses-- she doesn't know, trust me, doesn't suspect in the slightest. She talks very liberally and isn't prejudiced at all, has friends of all manner of orientation and lifestyle, but if an alternate lifestyle showed up in her own house I KNOW she would not accept it. She's my wife, and I know her well enough to be certain coming out to her would be a disaster.

There is some truth to the posts about not keeping a secret forever-- some manage to, many more do not. So far I know I've done it, but that could change in an instant. Often people have to make choices between things that are important to them in life-- being near their family or following a dream job, having the perfect house in nowhereville or living in a shack in a better city. This incident, and these posts, did get me thinking, and I'm quite certain I can't openly CD and keep the family life I have, so a choice may need to be made before it's made for me. And if I have to chose, I'll chose family.

That's a great answer. I'm also closeted to the wife of almost 9 years. I have chosen to not tell her and I'm very satisfied with that decision. It's too bad that us that have chosen this path sometimes get such ridicule on this site.

[Selene EV]

She's gonna find out sooner or later. I'm not going tell you what you should do because up until 5 years ago I was just like you. We all slip a little every now and again and most of the time we get away with it. I got away with it for 14 years with quite a few slip ups before the time I bent over in front of my wife while wearing pink panties. Imagine my surprise when I felt her snap the waist band. I can't even imagine her surprise when she did it. Needless to say it wasn't a good night. Things have never quite been the same since. I can't say I blame her. I wish you well no matter what you do but my advice is be perpared because when you least expect it both your lives will turn upside down.

[Maria in heels]

Veronica...you need to make sure that you do whatever is comfortable. Not everyone has a wife that would understand, and I can definately see your situation. My wife actually found out by accident, and thankfully, it was not as bad as it could have been...we were together fro years, and then suddenly, there is a picture of Maria...it was very hard to explain, and took quite a bit of talking to get things to a calm place.

It is years later, and still, we are comfortable together, but she is still reserved at times...I don't know if Maria is going to be out this Halloween, but i am hoping...up till last week, she is a go, but I will know on Saturday....

Keep smiling and yes, you did dodge this one...must be very careful unless subconsiously you are tired of keeping this a secret.

hugs Maria

[TJ Tresa]

Maybe the alcohol just got you lose enough to come clean to her and then you chickened out, alcohol has a tendicy to do that so please give it some thought, maybe subcounciously you want to confes.

[boardpuppy]

Hi Veronica,
Although the SO knows about me dressing, she doesn't want to hear or see anything on the subject. I can go both ways on coming out to your SO, only you can answer the question though. You skated this time but watch out, it is coming. Be safe.

Hugs,
Alice

[Emily01]

That's a great answer. I'm also closeted to the wife of almost 9 years. I have chosen to not tell her and I'm very satisfied with that decision. It's too bad that us that have chosen this path sometimes get such ridicule on this site.

i haven't seen the purported ridicule. really honestly haven't seen it here. however, i have seen a bias toward not living in secret and having relationships that are as honest as possible......but not ridicule for people who chose to remain discrete and private.

i too am discrete and private, though my wife knows and does not approve ~ lucky me she does accept.

[Emily01]

To answer some of the responses-- she doesn't know, trust me, doesn't suspect in the slightest. She talks very liberally and isn't prejudiced at all, has friends of all manner of orientation and lifestyle, but if an alternate lifestyle showed up in her own house I KNOW she would not accept it. She's my wife, and I know her well enough to be certain coming out to her would be a disaster.

There is some truth to the posts about not keeping a secret forever-- some manage to, many more do not. So far I know I've done it, but that could change in an instant. Often people have to make choices between things that are important to them in life-- being near their family or following a dream job, having the perfect house in nowhereville or living in a shack in a better city. This incident, and these posts, did get me thinking, and I'm quite certain I can't openly CD and keep the family life I have, so a choice may need to be made before it's made for me. And if I have to chose, I'll chose family.

i'd make the same choice i think. but to my question, what would really happen? i ask because so often we're sure of how people will respond and time and time again we're surprised by the capacity for love and tolerance shown by the people who love us.

for example: what terrible truth could you learn about your wife that would cause you to end your marriage? bet you're hard pressed to think of one....and why would it be any different for her? i know relationships do dissolve over this very issue but the woman you describe just doesn't seem the sort.

i also ask because if it's only a question of "when" not "if", wouldn't it be better to get ahead of the curve and have the conversation without the added emotional baggage of her finding you dressed in pictures or real-life? not suggesting a course of action here, just asking.

my wife neither approves nor participates, but she loves me and we've reached an accommodation, and i never expected that. ah, the things we do for love!

[KayC]

I haven't seen other GGs answer this so I thought I'd chime in. I don't feel like ridiculing you, my heart goes out to you for having to keep a secret from the person you love. What concerns me the most is that you don't feel you can trust her...with or without reason. And you are depriving her of the opportunity to show she can be trusted...you are depriving her of complete intimacy. When we keep secrets from our spouse, there is an invisible wall between us...they may not know what it is, but they know it exists. That is sad. I don't feel any reproach here, for I know you are making the choice that you feel you have to make in order to keep her...or perhaps to spare her. I do know, from a GG's standpoint, that what would probably be the hardest to her is not that you CD, but rather that you have lied to her...for how long? That breach of trust would be hard to overcome, but is not insurmountable as we have seen many attest to. It would take your coming out and her trying to understand why you handled it the way you did...and then moving past all of that...starting from square one, to build something better for the two of you. Gosh, I'd rather have honesty and intimacy any day...than being spared. Many of us are far more capable of adjusting, changing our thinking, and embracing...than given credit for. I wish you the best however it goes, I hope when she does find out, that she can see how much you really love her.