Hey all - could really use some advice

[silentone]

Hey everyone. I'm a 22 year old guy from the UK. You know how it is when it seems like you're all by yourself and theres no-one you can talk to about things. I've kept it bottled since I was 15, but I could really use a hand now since I've realised that I need to talk and I'm only ever surrounded by people with nothing but intolerance for cross dressing (imagine how I feel about the idea of anyone finding out then.)

It all started with a bit of curiosity when I was 15 I guess. Everyone had gone out to work, and I saw one of my mum's bras when I was putting some stuff away for her after doing the washing. So hey, I tried it on, stuffed it up a little, and looked in the mirror - well, I felt kinda sexy. Really sexy in fact.

I guess thats when things started to run away. I added into the mix a pair of tights, some knickers, heels, and a miniskirt. I tried it all on, looked in the mirror, and I mean - I felt stunning, the effect of it drove me absolutely wild.

The strange thing is, ever since then I've still had the same kick out of it. Problem is then, 3 years ago I moved away to University, and well, I didn't really make many friends here. I thought without temptation and a ready access to girl's clothing, it would go away, but it hasn't. I've never wanted to be a female, nor do female stuff, wear makeup, anything like that - the exception to the rule is that I get a real kick out of wearing lingerie and short skirts, tight-fitting tops over bras, heels, tights, sexy little dresses, anything like that really.

So the question is, what do I do when I feel like I'm in the middle of it all without anywhere to turn? I have a year left and again, I live with housemates who are the most intolerant to the business of crossdressing that I may have ever seen, they find it disgusting. I've started seeing a girl recently, haven't told her about my kick, and well - things are going great, I've never felt this good before. But I know it's got to come out sooner or later, especially when I haven't dressed in 2 years and my frustration at not being able to express myself sexily once in a while is mounting up. I don't have any of my own stuff either, like I said I thought it would just "go away".

Anybody else ever feel like this? I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read all this.

[CharlotteCD]

It must be really frustrating and I too am surrounded by people who see anybody that is slightly different from their percieved norm is a freak and are disgusting. If I were in your position then I too would be frustrated and would want to do something about it but for your sake and to make your social life at Univesity easier then you shouldn't say anything unless you really can trust those people.

[stacy-marie hanna]

wow,2 years!i dont think ive ever managed 2 weeks of not dressing since i was 13.dont bottle it up brother,take the nike attitude and just do it!
you had to stop doing something you clearly love because of these intolerant assholes,i say screw them dress how you want.just say **** it,if it makes you happy go ahead,be proud to be different.explain to your gf how you feel about dressing would be a great first step,if she wont except you for who you truely are then she is not the one who is right for you.

stacy-marie

[carolinebrookes]

Hi Silentone,

It's a difficult situation that you are in and one which I have been through myself probably when I was around your age.

My advice would be similar to that of Katie B. Find a group near you that may be able to accomodate your needs. For instance in my area, there is a group who meet once or twice a month. They have a place to get changed if needed and you may find that you'll make a few new friends.
I know of one girl who has a friend that keeps her clothes for her.

Sorry I can't be of more help

[silentone]

Brilliant, I wouldn't say that there needs to be any more advice than that. I never really thought of trying to look for places externally that would let me do what I wished to free of judgement.

It seems strange that in a world where people get away with early release from murder sentences in prison and do all kinds of other stuff, people who want to express themselves harmlessly because of the way they are are so heavily prejudiced by it. You probably hear it on this board all the time, but its nice to find people who share the view.

Will have a scout and see what I can find around my city. Will be moving in 6 months anyway, so I might choose somewhere more tolerant (work pertaining of course). Thanks for the help, I really 'ppreciate it.

p.s. Charlotte I think you've got the right idea. Whether I felt happy in myself or not, my last 6 months here would be pretty bad were I to come clean. Better to wait for a new start and consider the odd hangout while I am here.

[tricia_uktv]

Hi Silentone, wherte abouts in the UK are you? I may be able to help. And take your time!

Hugs,

[silentone]

Heya - sorry I ain't replied in yonks Tricia, been proper busy this last week. I live in Leicester city, Uk. Haven't really managed to find any leads so far to be honest.

[Danielle H]

Have you tried underdressing? Wear a pair of panties or even pantyhose under your male clothes all day, and nobody will know except for you!

That might stifle your urges at least, although with a GF in the mix you'll want to be careful. In the heat of the moment, well you get the idea.

[yvonne10]

buy yourself some underwear you can wear this under your everyday clothes
i wear knickers and tights every day no one exept my wife has any idea

[bettysmith]

Hi,

I know exacly how you feel , I went through my teenage years, University and through many years at work feeling I was odd in some way, and that people would not tolerate my need to cross dress.

The fact is that most people do not tolerate cross dressing , but there is no reason why you should waste your time worrying about it , you havent killed anyone , its not illegal !

As suggested join a CD club locally , express yourself there , you will find lots of friends .

Promise me you will not worry for years, you have made a big step joining this forum , so keep in touch and let us know how you go.

Be happy !!!!!

Betty

[noeleena]

Hi...
Try this. If some one knows this group .
the L G B T forum for leicester
They meet once a month . at the leicester L G B center ..

Also.
Beaumont Society contact is
27 Old Gloucester street London wc1N 3XX
info line 01582 412220
email
email@beaumontsociety.org.uk

Hope this helps .

...noeleena...

[gemsay32]

Hey everyone. I'm a 22 year old guy from the UK. You know how it is when it seems like you're all by yourself and theres no-one you can talk to about things. I've kept it bottled since I was 15, but I could really use a hand now since I've realised that I need to talk and I'm only ever surrounded by people with nothing but intolerance for cross dressing (imagine how I feel about the idea of anyone finding out then.)

It all started with a bit of curiosity when I was 15 I guess. Everyone had gone out to work, and I saw one of my mum's bras when I was putting some stuff away for her after doing the washing. So hey, I tried it on, stuffed it up a little, and looked in the mirror - well, I felt kinda sexy. Really sexy in fact.

I guess thats when things started to run away. I added into the mix a pair of tights, some knickers, heels, and a miniskirt. I tried it all on, looked in the mirror, and I mean - I felt stunning, the effect of it drove me absolutely wild.

The strange thing is, ever since then I've still had the same kick out of it. Problem is then, 3 years ago I moved away to University, and well, I didn't really make many friends here. I thought without temptation and a ready access to girl's clothing, it would go away, but it hasn't. I've never wanted to be a female, nor do female stuff, wear makeup, anything like that - the exception to the rule is that I get a real kick out of wearing lingerie and short skirts, tight-fitting tops over bras, heels, tights, sexy little dresses, anything like that really.

So the question is, what do I do when I feel like I'm in the middle of it all without anywhere to turn? I have a year left and again, I live with housemates who are the most intolerant to the business of crossdressing that I may have ever seen, they find it disgusting. I've started seeing a girl recently, haven't told her about my kick, and well - things are going great, I've never felt this good before. But I know it's got to come out sooner or later, especially when I haven't dressed in 2 years and my frustration at not being able to express myself sexily once in a while is mounting up. I don't have any of my own stuff either, like I said I thought it would just "go away".

Anybody else ever feel like this? I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read all this.

I've never had the luxury of a significant other. Maybe you should try "dressing" her?? Would that work? Atleast, you can try it. If that doesn't do it for you, then I don't know. I've always assumed I do it because I'm alone.

If you had a more positive atmosphere, perhaps you woudln't feel so scared. I'm hoping you can find a compromise in your present circumstances. If you can't, I really give you whatever prayers I might have though I'm not all that religious.

[silentone]

Well I really can't say that it weren't worth coming on here to meet you with how awesome you've been. I'm gonna check out those groups that you suggested for me noelena, cheers for that. Betty, its a little reassuring to see I'm not the only one feeling like this at the moment. Circumstances have changed as of late (we weren't really working to be honest), so have decided to make a slight change to my wardrobe after what was an ever so slightly embarassing visit to a local store. The payoff is pretty immense though!

[sherri52]

At this point keep it from your roommates but tell the girlfriend. If you like her and want a relationship it is better if they know early. She may even like the idea and provide you with a place to dress.

[bridget jones]

I myself thought it would go away but no matter how long you go without or how many girls you're with it always comes back.The only difference I see is that I like it all make up,wig,nails,lingerie,and outer wear...don't forget HIM