The police came!!!!

[SheriM]

Yesterday, I went shopping for a few hours and had a very close call. I went into a Ross store where they usually have a bouncer type guy at the entrance watching who comes in. He wasn't there yesterday.
I went in and found a pair of purple hip hugger panties and then went to the clearance racks. Found a nice top, sort of a shirt jacket and took it to the dressing room, she let me in - no problem. When I came out, there was a lady with a security shirt on standing next to the attandant. I didn't think too much of it although I was sure that she was there because of me. I found a couple dresses and a pair of pants and took them to the fitting rooms. The attendant was very cordial and even said that she liked one of the dresses that I had and that it was very cute. She asked how they fit and I told here one was too big - one too small. I continued shopping and noticed two uniformed police lurking at the end of my isle. I moved and so did they. Thought it was time to make an exit so I took my panties to the checkout - the police followed. After I paid, one of the SA's said "thank you for coming" to the police - they followed me out the door. I was never approached. Other than being an obvious man dressed in women's clothes, I really didn't think that I was acting suspicous.
That was too close!!!!

[docrobbysherry]

Shari, I think you're VERY brave to have continued shopping.

[DiannaRose]

I bet your heart didn't stop pounding till you got home! Interesting how someone at the store made the automatic assumption that you were up to no good.

The good news is that if another man comes into the store to try on clothes, hopefully that person will be a little less suspiscious and a little more accepting, so good on you for being at a place and time to help lift the stigma just a little, Sheri!

[abigailf]

That is interesting. My male side (or maybe it is my female side) would have confronted them and asked if I was causing any problems.

They were probably just there as a precaution. They don't know who you are. For all they knew you could be some pervert or something. I read somewhere, that if there is an attendant, to ask if you can use the dressing room.

I have yet to use the dressing rooms myself, so I am no one to give advice there. Just don’t let it scare you from doing it again.

[AmberLynn]

Im glad you made it out ok. I would of broke down into tear's at the thought of haveing police and secrity going to escourt me out for buying clothes. whas it female only dressing room's you were useing? do you think you broke the law in any way or may they thought you were going to rob the place? will you go back there to buy clothes again?

[Jenny Beth]

Sounds like a place I'd never shop at if they call the cops on someone who they deem suspicious because of how they dress. I mean what did they think you were in there for? You didn't have a gun over your shoulder did you? Sorry to be so negative but they'd never get my business again.

[geri-tg.]

Thats awful and very rude. I don't think I would ever shop there in my life time.

[Viv]

"Crazed man takes advantage of clothing sales at Ross-news at eleven"

One question...do a lot of stores have 'bouncers' at the front or was this store located in a nasty part of town?

[Karren H]

Personally I've never had an issue shopping in any mode but then again I don't frequent clothing stores what have bouncers either?? Wtf?? Lol. After I got their names and called my lawyer to check on harassment laws..... I'd go shop somewhere else if that were that friggin anal..... Somewhere they want and appreciate your business.. Never really like Ross's anyway..

[MAJESTYK]

That is so wrong in so many ways! Do they not like to make sales? Where were you shopping at, Afganistan, Iran? I dont get it. I can see their concern for thier shoppers safety and comend it but, you seem to have just been looking for someplace to spend money not find victims. I would assume by thier actions that they dont want money and would take mine somewhere else.

[Wen4cd]

Ross... check. Another for the personal boycott list. Care to drop the city or the branch location?

You might have taken your purchases up to the counter, laid them down, and said "I was going to buy these, but now I'm not. Instead I'm writing to corporate, may I have your branch manager's full name, along with yours, and the dressiing room attendant's, please? I want to make sure the newspaper spells them right."

[SheriM]

I'll try to answer the Q's.
I was wearing a light weight, off white sweater, bra and small forms to give me a little shape, low rise jeans and sandals with about a 2" heel and of course pantyhose. No wig or makeup. I'm sure that the outline of my bra showed through the sweater a little so it was no secret that I was a man wearing womens clothes.

No, the store is not is a bad part of town, in fact it's a new outdoor mall, quite a large mall, some construction still going on. I have gone in there before and always thought it strange that a big bouncer type guy would be at the door.

I probably will not go back, just too risky. In fact, even though you can get some good deals at Ross and the fitting room attandant was very nice, I may not go into any Ross stores again. Don't like the risk factor.

I didn't think that I was acting suspicous, I'm not new to shopping for women's clothes.

SheriM

[Lorileah]

They were probably just there as a precaution. They don't know who you are.

As is the case for let's say 90% of the people who walk in that door. Otherwise you would be what they call a regular. Businesses like that sort thrive on new customers

For all they knew you could be some pervert or something.

Welcome to the site Abigail.
We are all something. For all they knew Sheri was one of the corporate heads doing a drop in shopping inspection. Or maybe Sheri has 80 million dollars and was just out shopping. Or maybe Sheri was a customer. Any business that assumes that a person is "something" isn't going to stay in business long. We need to dispel the thought that men in dresses are "Perverts" and that should really start with us not using that word.

I read somewhere, that if there is an attendant, to ask if you can use the dressing room.

I believe that was done twice in this post.

Unless those panties were really something special and unique one of a kind, a simple dropping them off at the customer service counter with a quick, I understand that you really don't need my business here would have been my reaction.

Confronting the police would not be a wise move, even if they weren't there to hover over you. In that time frame there was probably a real crime being committed somewhere in that area but the police were busy ooogling a CD.

[Nicole Erin]

The police officers were probably thinking "We got a call over this silly crap?"
I don't think the cops really cared either way.
It was Ross who called. Why would they have security at the store like that?

Ross has always been a crappy place to shop anyways.

[TxKimberly]

Personally I've never had an issue shopping in any mode but then again I don't frequent clothing stores what have bouncers either?? Wtf?? . . .

I'm with Karen on this. Even when clearly shopping the female section in boy mode, I've never had a problem. I also think you were remarkably brave in continuing to shop after noticing you were the center of attention, but I would have to question your choice of places to shop if it's so rough they have to keep a bouncer at the door. lol

[KayC]

Did you go into the female dressing room or the male dressing room?

Downtown Portland Ross has police officers at their door all of the time, they have a lot of shoplifting so the store pays for the police to be visible there just as a precaution.

[AmberLynn]

I have to agree with karen,if they have a "bouncer" at there door i dont think i would shop there. just the sound of "secrity showed up" you continued to shop then "cop's show up" i think they were trying to send a silent message "cd's not welcome "

[Vieja]

It is interesting to note that the police exercised good judgment and restraint. This is not always the case.

Vieja

[Shari]

In light of the obvious "guilty before being proved innocent" test you endured, you shouldn't have bought item one in the first place.

Return the items and get your money back, then spend it somewhere else where you're not considered a threat to national security.

Your thread really got my panties in a bunch.

[suchacutie]

So what was their issue? Were you an obvious male in the female dressing rooms, but they were happy to let you in, more than once.

So if I'm in male mode, and I go into Ross and attempt to buy obviously feminine items, do I get followed and observed by the constabulary? Does this make for a positive customer atmosphere???

Am I missing something?

sheesh

tina

[sterling12]

At this point you will probably never know, but I am betting that The Security Guard was not at The Front of The Store because they were having a problem with a Shoplifting Incident at The Back of The Store.

My guess is that it had nothing to do with you! I think if they suspected you were shoplifting, they would have confronted you. I've shopped Ross a lot, and I believe they are very cognizant and friendly toward The Transgendered Community. You could have had an "incident" at an individual store, but I am sure it's not Company Policy. Knowing Ross, I would be shocked that they were concerned about your apparel.

About the only thing you can now do is to go back there, and ask to speak to The Store Manager. Explain what happened, and your concerns. I'll bet you that you will probably get an apology, and perhaps an explanation about what was really going on. In these troubled times, I would imagine that any retailer is doing everything they can to keep and encourage customers. I'd give them a second chance to make amends.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[bobi jean]

[size="4"]corporate phone numbers
[/size]
[SIZE="3"]THERE ISN'T A MANAGER ANYWHERE THAT WANTS TO GIVE THAT NUMBER OUT OVER A COMPLAINT.
[/SIZE]
Talk to the store manager first in an attempt to explain the situation and how it made you feel. if you are not happy (totally) with that, ask for the number of human resourses in the corporate office....

[abigailf]

As is the case for let's say 90% of the people who walk in that door. Otherwise you would be what they call a regular. Businesses like that sort thrive on new customers.
Welcome to the site Abigail.
We are all something. For all they knew Sheri was one of the corporate heads doing a drop in shopping inspection. Or maybe Sheri has 80 million dollars and was just out shopping. Or maybe Sheri was a customer. Any business that assumes that a person is "something" isn't going to stay in business long. We need to dispel the thought that men in dresses are "Perverts" and that should really start with us not using that word.

You are right, that was the wrong word to use and by no means am I implying anyone here is one (well, I might be.

I tend to try and put myself in other peoples shoes in order to understand the motives behind a situation. The fact that the store has a bouncer already shows distrust and probably caters to a less reputable clientele. The underpaid clerk was probably trying to be cautions (or maybe following protocol) because someone they found to be “different” came into the store. You probably know how most people react to something different. Hence the reaction.

Sheri, It is nothing to take personally, maybe call the store and speak to the manager, let them know how you felt being treated that way and you intend not to shop there anymore. Add the fact that many other CDers are going to boycott as well. Who knows, maybe they will give you a discount or something free to try and win back your business.

And yes, I personally would approach the police. I had worked with police for years and most are quite reasonable. They have to be, it’s part of their job. They will be forward with you and probably tell you if they were there to “observe” you or not.

[sempervirens]

It sounds like intimidation, and that's not appropriate at all.

I'd second that the police probably didn't like being called over nothing.

Yep, brave of you to keep shopping, but at that point they didn't deserve your business in my opinion.

[ShannonIL]

I would call and speak to the manager. Heck. Might get some coupons out of it. Either way the store needs to know you take issue with what they did.