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Thread: Someone made fun of you lately?

  1. #1
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    Someone made fun of you lately?

    How many OUT people have been made fun of? Well I was out and about wearing my capri pants and a babydoll black t-shirt with a pink batman symbol and someone asked me why I shave my legs and paint my toe nails. So I said I love the feel and I love the color pink. So the guy says thats kinda gay. Then I tell him before I came out (didnt say whether I was gay or Xdresser) That I would redicule people as well to cover my masculinity then walked away. I thought it was my first good come back.

  2. #2
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    Heh. That was a good comeback.
    Last edited by Andy66; 11-07-2009 at 08:48 AM. Reason: wrong smiley :p

  3. #3
    Member Barbara918's Avatar
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    Very good comeback indeed.

    Closest I ever came was one a.m. at a diner. A guy & a girl were sitting at a table across the room, & he was kinda giggling and making remarks (nothing terribly hurtful, thankfully). As they left I heard her tell him "Y'know, I bet if *you* wanted to go out dressed like that, you wouldnt have the guts!" She winked & smiled at me as they walked out.

  4. #4
    Old Man in a Suit skirtsuit's Avatar
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    "Y'know, I bet if *you* wanted to go out dressed like that, you wouldnt have the guts!"
    I've wondered if some of the acceptance I've encountered dressed isn't due somewhat to having the balls to walk out fully dressed?

    I have seen people whisper and elbow each other on the bus, but nothing really overt. I get far more positive comments (like "you're beautiful", "you look great", etc) than obvious negative reactions. I've noticed too that as I get better at makeup and more comfortable out dressed, the women seem to stare at me less on the street, so I'm guessing I'm passing better.

    All the Best,
    Ann / SS

  5. #5
    Christian Crossdresser DiannaRose's Avatar
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    As a writer, I often give free rein to my imagination. One of the imaginings I've had is this one:

    I'm at the mall, preferably with my wife, and I'm all dolled up, 6' 3" in my heels, skirt above the knee, tights, hair, makeup...the works. Knowing I can never pass as a genuine female, I imagine passing a group of teenagers, or perhaps young twenty-somethings, who "make" me and start laughing and joking and catcalling.

    The me at the mall has the confidence to stop, wink at my wife, turn around and walk up to them. They shut up, being brave behind my back but not so certain as my mascara-framed eyes stare them down.

    "You know," I say, "It's too bad you feel so uncomfortable about yourselves that you have to ridicule me like that. That's a pretty weak and cowardly way to be, don't you think? I have to say that, even dressed like this," (and I pass my painted nails across my 38C's and my long legs, "I'm twice tha man of all of you put together."

    Then, of course, I turn and re-join my wife, who stifles a laugh, and we go about our business, leaving the group behind. Before we pass out of earshot, I hear one of them start poking fun at the chief ridiculer for getting taken down like that.

    Okay, not likely in any scenario, but as I said, I claim the excuse that I'm a writer. It's a cathartic fantasy.
    -Dianna
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  6. #6
    Texas gal sherri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnboy23 View Post
    before I came out ... I would redicule people ... to cover my masculinity
    I don't know what this means?

    Quote Originally Posted by DiannaRose View Post
    "You know," I say, "It's too bad you feel so uncomfortable about yourselves that you have to ridicule me like that.
    My guess is that the snappy comebacks that sound so good to us rarely have the intended effect, especially the ones that impeach the listener. And honestly, I personally don't believe that's usually the underlying stimulus behind this sort of scenario. I think it's more to do with people fearing what they don't understand, and using derision as a coping mechanism when they encounter what they perceive as aberrant behavior. It's easier than trying to understand.

    Quote Originally Posted by skirtsuit View Post
    I've wondered if some of the acceptance I've encountered dressed isn't due somewhat to having the balls to walk out fully dressed?
    If it's okay with you, I would substitute the word "courage" for "balls", but yeah, you're absolutely right. People have made such comments to me numerous times, and surprisingly, more often than not it comes from a gracious, sweet spirited young person. Which always lifts my spirits and gives me hope.

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    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Not that I know of. Or remember. Or really cared about.
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    Girlygirl Tomboy Wannabee Toni_Lynn's Avatar
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    There is a woman at work who I suspect suspects about me. I don't how she knows, maybe she saw a hint of bra strap, she surely noticed that my wife trimmed and shaped my eyebrows, she also surely noticed that I had my hair straightened and had blonde highlights put in. No one else gives a hoot, but this woman looks upon me with disgust. She sits near a printer that I use, and if I fail to immediately pick up some documents when she is printing some, I've seen her pick up my stuff, snort in disgust, and throw mine in the tray. She recently placed an anonymous note in my mailslot to tell me that clipping and filing your nails at work is rude .. I know it was her because she was the only one there at 6.15 AM when I came in, had broken a nail and was repairing it.

    If I had better proof, I would go to our corporate ombudsman with a discrimination complaint (we are a BIG company and such prejudice don't fly), but I have told my boss. He said to let him know if it happened again.

    Huggles

    Toni-Lynn
    --I'm TN (transnationalist) - a Canadian born in an American's body! I stand on guard for thee!

  9. #9
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    I cant think of ever being made fun of. It almost worries me, because not sure how I will react when it happens. In my mind I try to believe it will so that no false hopes. Also figure it is a test of character and growth. I do get out and about- to mall, stores even to a bowling alley. The way I see it most people are to wrapped up in themselves or dont want to make trouble/cause a scene so they ignore you. The people u come in close contact like SAs are wanting to make a sale so they treat you with respect.

  10. #10
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri View Post
    I don't know what this means?
    I believe the inference was that you act all macho because you fear your feminine side. That's my take.


    My guess is that the snappy comebacks that sound so good to us rarely have the intended effect, especially the ones that impeach the listener. And honestly, I personally don't believe that's usually the underlying stimulus behind this sort of scenario. I think it's more to do with people fearing what they don't understand, and using derision as a coping mechanism when they encounter what they perceive as aberrant behavior. It's easier than trying to understand.
    Point taken but now can I ask a question of you. How would you handle that situation.? Would you ignore it and walk away? Would you stop and glare? Would you take a moment and try and educate the young people?

    I, like most here, think of the best lines 20 minutes later. I usually, if I react at all, give the person a head tilt and a smile. Really not changing their minds or attitudes at all but at least I feel better in my mind thinking I have set them back for a second. I am sure that after I walk away there is the "did you see that freak?" When I am not dressed up is when I do my best confrontation. Guess because I present a masculine figure and I feel better equipped to defend myself, hypocritical I know but I admit to that. Of course in those cases I am championing another person I feel is being put down. I am Lancelot when I should be Joan d'Arc.


    But I would like to know how, if not through a witty come back, others would respond. (mods feel free to make this a new thread if you think I have gone off subject)
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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  11. #11
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    Last time was my wife actually.

    I had been shaving my upper chest to stop that ugly hair from showing over the top of my nice dresses. Apparently my wife had noit noticed this. We were sitting at the dinner table with the kids around. I did not have a shirt on that day. I was a very warm summer day. My wife looks at me and said "What is this, are you dressing up sexy and dont want the hair to show".

    Now I turned about as red as you can get from embarrisment. My kids are sitting there, What can I say. I just siad "Are you done yet" and grinned a bit.

    Too bad we weren't alone, I could have thought of a ton of things to say.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  12. #12
    Texas gal sherri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    How would you handle that situation.? Would you ignore it and walk away? Would you stop and glare? Would you take a moment and try and educate the young people? ... I usually, if I react at all, give the person a head tilt and a smile.
    Good question. I think there are three possible outcomes based on my reaction in this sort of situation -- 1) I can escalate the hostility by reacting in kind; 2) I can try to make them see the hurtfulness of their behavior in a non-aggressive way; or 3) I can (hopefully) defuse the situation entirely by simply ignoring the insult.

    I nearly always elect to ignore the insult and go about my business because I perceive that nothing is to be gained by doing anything else. I strongly believe that the best way to advance the cause of acceptance is through one-on-one interaction, but the notion that I'm gonna change some stranger's mind with a few seconds of witty repartee is wildly optimistic, imo.

    If someone is just glaring I am likely, like you, to make eye contact and respond with a smile, even when I don't feel like it, just cuz that's the mature thing to do. There was one incident where two people were making fun of me in voices intentionally loud enough for me to overhear and I basically told them that as difficult as it might be for them to believe, I am a person just like them and what they were saying really hurt my feelings. They just smirked, but they did lower their voices -- probably out of fear that I might start crying.

    The only situations where I try to overcome the hostility in a gentle way -- and I've done this a number of times, usually at one of the clubs -- is choosing to overlook negative signals from someone I know disapproves of me and go out of my way to be nice and engage them. I don't challenge them or even mention their disapproval, I just try to help them see through normal interaction that I'm a real person, and I'm a nice person, and I'm much more "normal" than they might think. Over time, this works better than you might think. I've had several of them come around.

    One tactic I know won't work -- and by "work" I mean change a person's attitude -- is to get angry and snarky. Impugning someone's masculinity, accusing them of latent homosexuality or implying they might be harboring latent feminine tendencies themselves isn't going to accomplish anything except piss people off and make them despise me more.

    Only one time have I ever responded in anger. I was at a park one Sunday afternoon and this hillbilly-looking mf about 50 yards away started yelling insults at me. Really pissed me off. But I am in no way tough (as in fighting tough), so I couldn't do what I wanted to, which was knock the few teeth he had out of his hateful mouth. Instead, I got in my car, rolled down the window, shot him the finger and drove off. I could see him in my mirror about to have a stroke and I laughed. It didn't take me long to start feeling like a jerk for lowering myself to his level, and because I knew I had only succeeded in throwing gasoline on the fire. But there for a minute, I tell ya, it felt great.
    Last edited by sherri; 11-07-2009 at 05:39 PM.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri View Post
    Only one time have I ever responded in anger. I was at a park one Sunday afternoon and this hillbilly-looking mf about 50 yards away started yelling insults at me.
    That is the type of people I have had most insults from.
    I don't really get laughed at, the times anyone says anything it is usually a hateful tone. But for someone just laughing or making jokes, I have not really had a lot of that.

    With these hillybilly types, treat them as you would a wild animal. They don't really reason like humans, and if one of them does try to get violent, fight them off like your life depends on it. If you can avoid confrontation , great, it doesn't always go that way though.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  14. #14
    Old Man in a Suit skirtsuit's Avatar
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    We were sitting at the dinner table with the kids around. I did not have a shirt on that day.
    Very Classy

    Today a guy said quite loudly as he passed me on the street -
    "A white guy trying to look tike a white girl"

    I Ignored him

    With no public transportation in Philly, I had to walk to Center City and back today. Its harder to blend in the poorer neighborhoods in S philly in a nice suit.

    All the Best,
    Ann / SS

  15. #15
    Member Veronica75's Avatar
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    Typically when I went out in NYC I would occasionally get a longer-than-normal stare, but no comments-- CDs are common enough in NYC, at least in the neighborhoods I went out in, and few people in the city want to go out of their way to antagonize anyone, I guess because you never know just how crazy the person you're laughing at might be.

    There was one time-- I was walking from the subway to the bar, and I heard a loud "HAHAHA" from a car-- it was a carload of college guys and one had stuck his torso out to laugh at me from 50 feet away. I figured he was either attracted to me (I WAS hot that night) or wanted to CD himself and didn't have the guts, and either was reacting to his conflicted emotions or had to somehow justify staring at me as I walked by to his homies. I gave him a wave and a wink and kept walking, and that was that.

  16. #16
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicole Erin View Post
    With these hillybilly types, treat them as you would a wild animal. They don't really reason like humans, and if one of them does try to get violent, fight them off like your life depends on it. If you can avoid confrontation , great, it doesn't always go that way though.
    Nicole,

    I am very bothered by your and Sherri's generalizations. Exactly what is the difference between labeling people as "hillbilly types" and "rednecks" and labeling people as "queer" or "dago" or "the N word"?
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

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  17. #17
    TJ Tresa TJ Tresa's Avatar
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    sounds like you put him in his place, the problem is it took him a couple of days before he realized you had.

  18. #18
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    [QUOTE=sherri;1932517]Good question. I think there are three possible outcomes based on my reaction in this sort of situation -- 1) I can escalate the hostility by reacting in kind; 2) I can try to make them see the hurtfulness of their behavior in a non-aggressive way; or 3) I can (hopefully) defuse the situation entirely by simply ignoring the insult.

    Sherri,

    I agree with 3). Ignoring the insult is most times the better way to deal with these situations.

    I learned that approach well from my Mom, long before my teen years. She was a master of the art of conspicuously ignoring, and always said it's the way to rob the boors of their sense of satisfaction.

    BTW, Mom's approach related to life in general, nothing tied to CDing. (In fact, I never found any evidence she was ever onto my CD).

    Daisy

  19. #19
    Texas gal sherri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
    Nicole,

    I am very bothered by your and Sherri's generalizations. Exactly what is the difference between labeling people as "hillbilly types" and "rednecks" and labeling people as "queer" or "dago" or "the N word"?
    This guy had on dirty overalls with one strap undone, no shirt on underneath, a rebel cap, one of those long, dirty, disgusting goatees like you see on a billy goat, and missing teeth. He was leaning against the hood of his filthy, beat-up, rusted out old pickup filled with junk and trash bags, drinking a beer. And he was yelling "f**kin' faggot" at me at the top of his lungs and ordering me to "get out of here" for no other reason than I happened to be sitting in the shade of a tree in the park minding my own business. People all around us, including little kids, were staring. If you think I give a damn about being politically correct toward that a**hole, you're dead wrong.

    Of course, now that you mention it, maybe using the word hillbilly to describe that bucket of puss is doing a disservice to hillbillies, so maybe I should have said "redneck scumbag s.o.b.". And let me assure you I have no reservations about using the word redneck where it applies. I don't know where you live, but around here, redneck is real, and they are to be taken seriously. Some of them will drag you around behind a pickup truck for being different, especially if you're gay or black.

    In my book, there's nothing wrong with the word "queer", even though I know rednecks use it as an insult. But calling someone a dago or whatever is dissing someone simply because of his race or creed or whatever. That is not even the same thing as despising the behavior I've just described -- and doing it with extreme prejudice, I might add.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
    Nicole,

    I am very bothered by your and Sherri's generalizations. Exactly what is the difference between labeling people as "hillbilly types" and "rednecks" and labeling people as "queer" or "dago" or "the N word"?
    Jesus Christ Persephone, have you not noticed that that hicks tend to be the biggest threat to a TG person? I know not all of them are trouble but me personally, I have had more problems with them than anyone.

    Of course some TG want to deny that but I imagine the general consensus is that hicks tend to be a pain in the butt.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  21. #21
    Loves ordinary miracles SuzanneBender's Avatar
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    I had this happen once while standing in line for a popular restaurant after clubbing. A drunk cowboy was flipping my friends and I a whole ton of poo.

    Let me preface this with, I have been an Infantry soldier in the Army for my entire adult life. I am a combatives instructor, trained in the martial arts and subsequently know how to defend myself. Because of that training I do everything within my power to avoid confrontation. However…

    Mr. Cowboy wouldn't back off despite our best efforts to ignore and move away from him. He actually got in my face and said are you deaf besides being a faggot. (Ohhhh girls I must point out that sheer ignorance and stupidity causes the Y chromosome in me to go off the Richter scale) I wheeled around used my male voice and exclaimed he didn't want to explain to everyone how a guy in a dress mopped up the street with him. I was sure the situation would go bad and was prepared for it. All I could think about was how I was about to ruin a dress I had only been able to wear once. To my surprise Bubba not only backed down but he and his buddy left.

    I never recommend resorting to violence if it can be avoided. You never know what will happen, but in this case it worked out.
    See yourself as a soul with a body not a body with a soul" Dr. Wayne Dyer


  22. #22
    [Gender]Androgen[/Gender] lemonlover's Avatar
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  23. #23
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri View Post
    calling someone a dago or whatever is dissing someone simply because of his race or creed or whatever. That is not even the same thing as despising the behavior I've just described -- and doing it with extreme prejudice, I might add.
    And somehow, Sherri, what you're doing is different? You are generalizing from some individual and then using the broad brush of a label to somehow stigmatize something you perceive as a group, apparently by the way they are dressed or the type of vehicle they drive or where they live. Sorry, but what you are doing is no different than any other form of vituperative name calling.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

  24. #24
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    Whenever someone tells me they think that being gay is a choice, I immediately explain to them my honest belief that any one who seriously believes that homosexuality is a choice must be at least bi-sexual, if not a closeted homosexual themselves. After all, it has been their experience that sexual preference is a choice, and they have chosen the strait "lifestyle." If they were strait, they would not believe that sexual preference is something that could be selected from a list of options.

    Explaining to homophobes that they have just outed themselves is SO rewarding.
    "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe

  25. #25
    Down into the Easy Chair SweetCaroline's Avatar
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    It happens to me from time to time. I've had people call me a fairy, a faggot, and freak at some point or another. The best thing to do, I think, even if you don't variably reply, is to show them you can't be intimated. If anyone makes fun of me out on the streets, I usually just smile, hold my head and proudly walk on.

    The only reason anyone would make fun of you like that is to try to make you feel small. Don't let them.
    Last edited by SweetCaroline; 11-08-2009 at 08:56 AM.
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