Just sent my request for information to Tri Ess. Are there any active members members who would care to share there experiences? Is it all it seems to be?
Hugs
Kelly
Just sent my request for information to Tri Ess. Are there any active members members who would care to share there experiences? Is it all it seems to be?
Hugs
Kelly
I find them to be a very supportive group, if you fit into there category of what they think a CD is. It wasn't for me as I disagree on a lot of their views, but it could definitely be a very positive experience.... Hope that helps!
Kelly,
I'm not sure what your expectations are, so it's hard to say if Tri-Ess is everything it seems to be. It is a large organization and there are 4 local chapters in Florida. I know several people in some of those chapters. Every chapter is different though.
I am the president of the chapter in Atlanta, GA and have been associated with Tri-Ess for many years. Send me a PM or e-mail and I'll try to answer any questions you have.
Phoebe
I heard something of the like in two cases, and in particular, when a Northern NJ chapter broke away from the National organization. And two, having some disagreement with Helen Boyd. There seems to be a variance of the overall mission. ....not sure what the exact discrepancy is here?Originally Posted by JodyCD
I find them to be a very supportive group, if you fit into there category of what they think a CD is. It wasn't for me as I disagree on a lot of their views, but it could definitely be a very positive experience.... Hope that helps!
Last edited by NathalieX66; 11-08-2009 at 09:44 PM.
I used to belong to a Tri- ESS group years ago and I found the same thing to be true. I found it wasn't for me either.I find them to be a very supportive group, if you fit into there category of what they think a CD is. It wasn't for me as I disagree on a lot of their views, but it could definitely be a very positive experience.... Hope that helps!
As long a you "go along" with them, it can be a pleasant experience, etc however as I met some very nice people there.
Last edited by Barbara Jo; 11-08-2009 at 08:55 PM.
I was a member of a local chapter for about eight years and still a member of the national .
I found them to be a caring group and has helped a lot of Cd`s to meet others .
As others have said it is strictly a CD group .
I'm a member of the Tri-Beta chapter of Tri-Ess here in the Tampa / St. Petersburg area of Florida.
I'll echo what some of the girls have said about having to "conform" to the group, as I found previous experiences with Tri-Ess groups in Texas to be that way. Frankly, it turned me off from trying to be involved with a group for several years. However, I knew that a couple of ladies here on CD.com were involved with Tri-Beta and from reading their posts, they actually sounded like a fun group!
So, I took the plunge and joined. Tri-Beta is a fantastic group of ladies, very group and community involved, and all are nicely liberal in their views of accepting others. Our rules are pretty simple - Don't out anyone, Act like a lady & be considerate of others, don't try to use us for dating "hookups", and everyone will get along just fine.
I'm a member of Signa Nu Rho in south Jersey for the last 6 years and love it.
I've met so many great people there.
We are not as "organized" as some groups. We are more socially oriented and try to help each other. Many of us get together outside the group and go shopping, dinner and movies.
My spouse has found it to be a great help to her in her journey of understanding. I would certainly recommend it.
It may not be for everyone, but that is why there are so many different groups around. It's a safe place to explore this part of ourselves without being judged and criticized.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I liked being in the chapter i was in and enjoyed being part of their out reach program. I made a lot of friends there and hope to get to go to more meetings in the near future
I have been a member for several years now but since there is no local chapter where I live my participation is limited. They publish a nice magazine, Quarterly I think.
Vieja
If you can stomach their mission statement, you'll fit in.
Their restrictive membership turned me off. If you arent 'purely' a crossdresser, they want nothing to do with you! No TG, no TS, no TV, very limited mindset, and then the restrictions on members and demos and the like... went to 2 meetings and walked away. No wonder they died here in the PNW.
Eve
I was into it with Jane Ellen wife Mary Fairfax when Tri-Ess emerged from a previous organization founded by Virginia Price in LAX. For years SSS was about the only "game" in town unless you were into the "show girl" facade. I served as co-editor of "The femme Mirror" (a quarterly magazine published by Tri-Ess) for about 4 years and did the original computer design lay out for the mag. Gradually, over time SSS morphed more and more into a 'crossdresser and spouse' centered group with significant emphasis on spouses and helping with their coming go grips with the reality they face being wed to a crossdresser. My being single with full intention of remaining so, I gradually found less and less of a feeling of "belonging" in the organization. While there I fully supported the emphasis on spouses and their incorporation into the activities. I participated in Dr. Peggy Rudd's well documented study which came into her book: "My Husband Wears My Clothes" which I reviewed calling it a love story. Peggy and Melanie are a shining example of how a crossdressing husband can be adored and fully integrated into a successful marriage. I moved away, lived for years in another state (ABQ, NM). I lost contact with most of the contingent in the Houston, TX chapter (Tau Chi). No longer a member, I still have fond memories and great appreciation for SSS. They do not try to be all things to all people, but have had real success at being specifically of service to the married heterosexual crossdresser and her spouse. I highly recommend SSS for crossdressers and spouses whose needs fit what Tri-Ess offers. Granny
Last edited by Granny Gray; 11-09-2009 at 03:58 PM. Reason: change of some words.
I belong to a Tri-Ess group here. I'm not real active, for many reasons, but they are accepting of me ( even though I am TS). I think at the local level they do not always toe the line on the national rules. In fact I think they pretty much ignore them. The local chapters try and be what the locals need. It is a good way to meet people in your area with similar interests and the parties etc can be fun !
There is a road—no simple highway—between the dawn and the dark of night.
And if you go no one may follow. That path is for your steps alone.
My experience with Tri-Ess was much the same as many... but over time I began to take issue with a lot of their thinking. I was a member of the Atlanta Chapter, and at the time it did me a LOT of good in my own personal acceptance and growth... I have many fond memories of my times there...
However, I feel they began to slip away from their own mission statement... isn't Tri-Ess suppose to be for CDs AND family members? (Sorry Phoebe, this was before your time as president, but I hear you've done some wonderful things to the group). I began to see an attitude of "do what YOU want - regardless of how it makes those around you feel". Being a CD is not easy - nor is trying to balance our needs and the needs of those who live with us.
This is not a wide cast accusation on all of the Tri-Ess chapters around the country... it is only my experience. I feel that it served it's purpose for me and it was time to move on. Join, but keep an open mind, listen to your heart...
Hi Kelly, I recently joined a chapter in the Twin Cities and although I have only attended one meeting I had fun and met some really nice gals. And at the very least it gives you a chance to dress up with other members.
Jennifer Ann
I find them to be a very supportive group, if you fit into there category of what they think a CD is. It wasn't for me as I disagree on a lot of their views, but it could definitely be a very positive experience.... Hope that helps!Wow. What is the issue? That they want "Balance between masculinity and femininity"? What "is a CD" for them? The local chapter has been very nice to me via email. I would like to visit. The only hint I received from them is that I had to be a "heterosexual crossdresser" for them to talk to me. I asked what they meant by "heterosexual". It means that you like GGs to them.
Is there anything they want you to "go along with" past being attracted to GGs and being a CDer part time?
For me the issue, was as I further explored my CDing I began to realize I fell more into the TG spectrum, and as I explored this, the group was not very accepting of this, and as time went on, it felt very much as though I was sort of a black sheep, as I didn't fit this stereotyped ideal of a crossdresser... As others have said, as long as their definition of what a crossdresser is, fits your own description, then it can be a fantastic, and extremely supportive group. As such, its not that the group is bad in any way, its just a very narrow spectrum of support, and if you fall outside that spectrum, it might not be for you..
Wow, thank you all for your replies. It has been a very busy week at work so this is the first chance I have had to respond.
If I may follow up, this one is for the wives/SOs. Do/did you go to meetings? Enjoy them or go just to support your SO.
Hate to be a pest but any information I can gather will be helpful
Thanks again
Hugs
Kelly
I consider myself more of the TG spectrum, than CD. I was told I could come to the events, but couldnt be an active member. I also felt that since the PNW chapter was already disbanded once, and was trying to get back together, that they should try to open up to the more diverse community that Seattle offers. They were pretty well stuck on the national rules, and didnt want to budge, even if it meant death to the group... As I had already reached self acceptance, It was mainly to give back to the community that had helped me. As they didnt want my help... B-BYE!!
I attended a meeting years ago and said never again. Thr attendees were the biggest bunch of cliquish snobs I've ever encountered. The only one who cared to talk to me all evening was the one collecting the entrance fee. After sitting, twiddling my thumbs for an hour I walked out. This was the Chicago Chapter FYI.
I'd suggest that you will have to check out your local chapter to see if it's a good fit for you. As you see from the responses, there's some variance from chapter to chapter and some folks like Tri-Ess, some don't.
My first contact with the gender community was through the Chi (Chicago) chapter of Tri-Ess, and I really enjoyed the experience for a few years, then drifted away to another support group, Chicago Gender Society, closer to home and more diverse.
The Chi chapter of Tri-Ess was apparently a bit more inclusive than some other chapters, and everyone was welcome to attend meetings, but you did have to be a straight CD or SO to vote in elections.
Carol
My name is Carol.
I've said this before:
If you're 50 years old and your wife just found your stash/you told your wife after 25 years of marriage and you want a group...Tri-Ess is perfect for you.
If you're younger (meaning 40 or younger) and/or single and/or "sorta kinda" identify as TG/TS...welllllll....not so much. Doesn't mean they won't let you be an associate non-voting member though.
Individual chapters vary, and some do ignore the national organizations rules...for example on who can be officers. Technically, transitioners can't be officers in Tri-Ess chapters, but some chapters have a hard time finding people willing to do "anything" that they have leaders that have transitioned/living full time or are in the process of doing so. As was said to me a few years back:
"what national doesn't know won't hurt them."
Veronica Rogers
If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.
I agree with this comment. My own personal viewpoint is that in a general sense they are a supportive and encouraging group. I along with others were all on the board of our local chapter until we all quit at the same time. It happened because people didn't like were we were taking the group. We wanted to network with other TG groups including TS folks and the general LGBT community at large. We didn't want to cause any conflict so we quit and started our own group instead.
At national level I have issues with this organization but at chapter level there are some wonderful people doing wonderful things (I hear Atlanta and Los Angeles are very progressive) I would have said New York too but I think they've just voted to leave the national and strike out on their own. Anyway, I would recommend you check out your local chapter and go from there. For most people, especially newbies, Tri-Ess is a good place to start.
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
Tri-Ess is a great group here in Denver, CO.
The problem does exist that if you are anything other than a true heterosexual crossdresser then you may have a problem fitting in. There is nothing wrong with that, but you do have to be aware of those things.
My best advice to you is to attend some meetings and get to know some people. Maybe even join for a year.
Personally I met a TS through the group who didn't fit in anymore once she began transitioning. The TS helped me a great deal understand everything out there along the spectrum. You need to talk with people who you don't think are like you so that you can find yourself. Sometimes it is easier to define yourself by what you are not, rather than what you are.
Michelle
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