Okay, There's a lot of variations on this.
There's that old saying about the word 'assume'. Yet these people who make comments like this forget they are assuming, and wrongly I might add.
- Since you crossdress, you must be gay
- Since you crossdress you must be trying to pick up a man
- Since you crossdress you must want to become a woman
What other 'assumptions' have you run into?
I came across yor first point the other night at work,i was driving across a busy intersection and i saw a guy who was in fem clothes(handbag and all) and i said to my co-worker look theres a crossdresser,she replied he must be gay,i said NO HE MAY NOT BE,she said all crossdressers are gay,i said i think your thinking of drag queens,she was stuned that a straight guy would dress up in womans clothes(by the way she has no idea about me)after a bit of a chat she saw the light in the end and now thinks different about cds.But her closing coment was "what kind of woman would put up with that"omg i almost burst,I just simply put "lots of women would and do"but god love her shes such a lovely girl.Any way theres my 2cents worth.
One of my sisters friends who is a counseller thought I was ill and that she could cure me.
Even if it was an illness, I wouldn't wan't to be cured.
I'll sip wine to that!Originally Posted by Maddie Knight
One of my sisters friends who is a counseller thought I was ill and that she could cure me.
Even if it was an illness, I wouldn't wan't to be cured.
From Transvestite to *******
a fantasy turning into reality
in the not too distant future.
www.arula.tv
xoxo Arula.
I'd agree with Julie on those being the most common misconceptions, made by people,though they might seem ridiculous to many of us here and in the scheme of things (not-to my family,freinds,or co-workers perhaps) such judgements could be rather benign.
Maddie's reply reminds me of how often people reguard any degree of "gender dysphoria" (they must lable and catagorize "it") as a kind of mental illness or malady,therefore requiring a cure !? It's when opinions,professional,expert(a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing) or otherwize, start to link with statements that include words like perversion,sexual deviant,deep seeded emotional, sick or sickness,,,gives me knots in my stomach. A little tolerance and understanding would go a long ways I'd supose- but I'm not holding my breath .... besides thats why I come here ! I"m Not crazy! -just kinda "goofy" Right??
xx"K"
Just Remember,"Wherever You go- There You are ! "
My favourite answer to this and has been mine whenever i have been caught out doing something that wasnt quite male is .....Who decided girls should wear dresses and boys trousers ? who decided pink for girls and blue for boys? who decided drab for boys and frills for girls? I dont remember anyone asking me ,so what gives them the right to make assumptions ?..... :idea:
Sarah
TRY IT IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DONT DO IT AGAIN
So if you crossdress you must:
-Do it for a sexual arousal
-Do it because your gay
-Do it because you want to immitate a woman you knew
-Like going out around the gay community when you are hetro and have nothing in common with them
-Like panties
Point being, while some of these may be ok for some of you they do NOT represent all of us in general.
WHY MUST WE USE LABELS?????????????????????????
we r human beings plain and simple,,
why in the 21st century do we STILL have to deal with such closed mindedness????
just my 0.02 ,,, i could be wrong
by the way i wear pantyhose because i LUV the feel,,, and skirts r more ventilating than shorts or pants,,, and walking around in heels helps my back which i have hurt from yrs of bending over fenders as a mechanic..
Last edited by obsessedwithpantyhose; 07-27-2005 at 08:03 AM.
Julie, you sure covered all the majors! It's really the same issue that has plagued society for all time... fearing minorities simply because they are different in some way. It's all due to ignorance. We've got a ton of educating to do <sigh>!
Fulltime girl on the inside.
Lipstick=confidence
[SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]
I can contribute something here, from my own experience.
When I was new to the concept of crossdressing and was trying to educate myself, I did find plenty of websites and books reassuring me that crossdressers are not all gay, not all transsexual, not mentally ill, and not perverted.
However, the assumption I still made (because no one told me otherwise) was that all crossdressers are the same. I would come across a panty lover's site and think, "Aha, so they have a thing for panties." Then I would come across a sissy slave site and think, "Aha, so they are submissive and into BDSM." I would read Tri-Ess materials and think, "They all have a separate, distinct female identity coexisting with their male identity." And on it went. Even mainstream resources like Peggy Rudd's books contain statements about crossdressing that are not true for everyone.
I don't know how long it took--too long, at any rate--before I stopped putting all crossdressers into the same box in my mind.
My advice to all of you who are thinking about telling an SO or family member is to educate them yourself as much as you can, by telling them what is true for YOU. If you do give them materials to read, make sure you say which parts describe you and which don't. It will save them a lot of guesswork.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
And if the people stare
Then the people stare
Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care....
--The Smiths
All these things are what people think of us and we don't like it. But remember when you first started Cding and what you were worried about yourself. Am I gay? Am I sick, Do I want to be Woman? These are all questions that we asked ourselves and until we answered them we were worried. And until we found others like yourselves we though that we might be the only one who wasn't like that.
Yes, people are all the same even us.
Stephenie
This happened to me several times the other night at a gay bar. One male assumed that since I wore dresses (such as when he saw me at the Prom) that I was gay, which, considering I met a nice bisexual girl at that dance, would be an unjustified assumption.
Another male, upon seeing me in drab with my neatly trimmed eyebrows and long hair, assumed I was a performer, such as a drag queen.
What about the assumption (enforced by media) that (mtf) transgendered are by nature weak or submissive?
Obviously, these assumptions are an attempt to justify and enforce society's separation of gender and the pressure to be one of two theoretical genders.
I disagree. Not all of us were concerned or asked those questions of ourselves. Any questioning done by the individual in either case is due to assuming society's norms are right. People are diverse. (Americanized) Society is the similarity. I would reword that last sentence as "Society's emphasis of right and wrong is consistant and parallel to gender norms."
I never questioned my own feelings or urges.
The only question I ask myself is "What stops me from taking the best characteristics from all the genders to create my own unique niche?"
Charlie
Me early dressing triggered my first orgasms, which were wonderful but made me worry a lot. I used to feel total revulsion afterwards, but now the sexual aspect is almost a side-effect, as I've gotten more comfortable experiencing the sheer delight of looking and feeling like one of those wonderful women we've been programmed to pursue. Bet the shrinks would have a field day with me....
Marla
Thank you for that great advise. It never occured to me before how confusing information on crossdressing can be based on what you find on the web. Thanks for reminding us of the differences we have as well as the similarities.
Hugs,
Erin
But I DO want to become a woman. For many reasons other than that. It's actually the other way round - I want to become a woman so I dress 24/7 and hormones, and all the rest of it.
Anne
When my wife found out I cross dress, she immediately jumped to some conclusions. A) I was bisexual. B) I was (I love this one) a "squishy pleasure seeker." Now, I have nothing against Bi's or "squishy pleasure seekers" but I am neither. Just a straight, heterosexual male. But try telling my wife that!
You can dress me up but you can't take me out...at least not yet.
The uninformed always make assumptions of us.That we do this so we must be that.The only thing that I can say about us is that we are ALL human,with all of our hopes,dreams,weaknesses,strengths, sameness and differences.We Are All Human.
Love and Hugs,
Priscilla
The label thing is so not right? How often does someone say that a girl that wears male clothes is a lesbian? I don't understand why people automaticly think somone is gay if they wear women's clothes? I've never heard anyone ask a gg if she is lesbian because she has on a male shirt and boxers. Duh! When I have told the few people about how I am a crossdresser and wish I could do it the all the time, they first question they ask is if I am gay. When I say no, they next question that is asked is if I am bi. No! I don't understand why it is all ways about sex. Narrow minded people!
Man! I feel like a woman!
With me, I'm sure the chromosones got screwed up at birth. There is nothing really masculine about me, except those things hanging between my legs.
The body is male, the pysche is female. Cross dressing only makes me closer to what I should have been.
JenniRose
She's not a very good, or educated counseller, andOne of my sisters friends who is a counseller thought I was ill and that she could cure me.
Even if it was an illness, I wouldn't wan't to be cured.
judging from her goals concerning you, should choose a different field of work.
Hugs,
Melissa
As I have finally come a little bit out of my closet and have met with some other CD's in the real world, I was reminded so strongly of Marla's view. We may all crossdress, but we have different, needs, tastes and desires. Accepting each other as we learn to accept ourselves is so very important. Thanks for your thoughts Marla.
tiff
It is hard to define crossdressing because it has different meanings and comes in varying degrees. To some guys who like to crossdress it is a way of escaping the mundane. To others who crossdress it is a connection to their inner core and who they are as a person. To others its a way of getting in touch with their feminine side. I believe crossdresser range in sexuality can vary but for the most part crossdressers are heterosexual and most are married with families.
Most crossdressers are typical guys who on the surface seem like any other normal guy. Some overcompensate when in male mode. However when they have alone time that is when all mayhem begins. They raid their closet and wear clothes they'd rather wear. Dresses and highheels!
If you're a crossdresser that means you're a slave to femme fashion!
If you're a crossdresser that means you'd rather hang with the girls!
If you're a crossdresser that means you have the shopping bug!
If you're a crossdresser that means you are very emotional and a sissy!
If you're a crossdresser that means you'd rather wear dresses and highheels!
Emmi
If you are a crossdresser you have a tacky taste in clothes which no real woman would ever wear
Jennifer
I don't think she is a good counsiller and the big problem with her is that she never turns off.She's not a very good, or educated counseller, and
judging from her goals concerning you, should choose a different field of work.
Hugs,
Melissa
If we are out having a drink and a laugh she has to question everything I do, saying everything people do they do it for a reason.
I try and avoid her now, but she is a friend of my sister and aften they are out together.
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