Here's a question for those who came out to their wives after being married:
Did any of you intentionally drop subtle hints along the way for your wife to pick up on?
Any thoughts or experiences? Did she pick up the hints? Was it a surprise/shock anyway?
Thanks
Lauren
Dropped lots of hints. She did not want to know so she did not pick up on any. Has to sit down and tell her.
This first hint I remember was being in a Sears store and walking by the closeout shoes...ah..1978, seeing a pair of 4inch slides for 3$ and holding them and saying...can I have these? Was that a hint? I still have the shoes but they really need to go bye bye. From then on she would just say "you are strange" and buy whatever.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
There is a very good guide by Marla GG at the top of this section. This should answer most of your questions.
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ad.php?t=13841
I've dropped a few hints along the way. "ran out" of clean underwear one morning and donned a pair of hers instead, which she found amusing.
Honestly has anyone had the hint game work on anything...Christmas presents?...New car?...sex?
Why is this a game that we play?
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Yes, no, yes.
why don't you just tell her ?
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
If you feel you are ready to tell your wife then tell her. I know, it's difficult, but it's better the beating around the bush. Good luck!
I suggest you look at all the guides and recommendations and work toward telling her. I didn't do the hint thing since I don't understand hints anyway. The trauma of a surprise revelation is much worse than the trauma associated with a well planned discussion.
Just get all your resources and references in place and go for it.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
My hint sure worked well!! Must have been some sort of subliminal thingy going because when she found those skirts at the bottom of my closet she got the hint... And when asked about them I did not lie.... "I like to crossdress"...
Boooommmm... Lots of crying and screaming... She was pretty upset too!!
So it worked!!
Don't let "them" talk you into doing the "right" thing... You need to decide what the ultimate results of exposing this side of you to your SO.... Think long and hard... No taking it back...
Who ever said "the truth hurts". Must have told his wife he crossdressed...
Last edited by Karren H; 11-13-2009 at 01:35 PM.
The trouble with hint's
If you don't choose them carefully you could cause more problems
I think it would be easier to be honest
And yes having done that I know its not an easy decision
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
You could buy shoes for $3.00 in 1978? Lucky pup! I was like what -4 years old.
Last edited by kellycan27; 11-13-2009 at 04:56 PM.
I tried leaving suttle hints in the form of comments that I would make such as OOOHHHH I like that, can I wear that, The only thing that she ever figured out from all the comments over the years was I had "a thing" about womens panties. So when I finally decided to tell her She thought I was just telling her about my Thing for panties. So after I told her I had to convince her it was more than just panties. But so far so good. Some of are long standing jokes are no longer played on eachother anymore though. I do miss those but I enjoy talking with my wife a whole lot more.
Lori - I think you're right now that I think about it. Hints are usually either misinterpreted or missed entirely...I guess it's a process that I have to decide on the timing and approach. Thanks for the suggestions - sounds like for the most part hints aren't a viable approach. Lauren
I'm sure that having my ears pierced, legs shaved and liking woman's underwear were more than subtile hints, but even at that time se said nothing and I was not sure myself. Finally I accepted that I was a cross dresser and discussed it with her in length. I first researched the web and printed out everything that I felt applied to me, and gave it for her to read. Several discussions followed. It took a while, but she accepted that I liked to dress and made time to do so when she was not around. This was several years ago. Now she is more accepting, gives me more time and accepts and buys me ear rings, gives me clothing she thinks will fit, accepts my shaved legs, under arms and chest. Plus my painted toe nails. It gets better all the time.
Yes i left a hint , i put a skirt on the bed for my wife to see so that i could not go back on my decision to let her know .
Got called a coward on here for doing that but i am not going to mention that
The best way is to just tell her, (OK that is easy for me to say)
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne
Joanne how as that cowardly? Seems like a good ice breaker
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
ahhhh, but in 1978 $3 was like $20 now... So, dont think so lucky.. Cause now you can get shoes for $9 if you look hard enough...
Can I answer please!!!!
Oh yes -- lots of subtle hints after we got married... but then my wife already knows about me and accepts,. So the result was, as the Beatles sang, a splendid time is guaranteed for all.
Oh -- but before we got married -- lots within the first 3/ 4 months of dating .. which, since the expanse of the continent and an international border separated us, meant that the hinst were dropped in phones calls and emails. Yep, she picked up on them, and the result was --- see paragraph above
Sorry if that is not in keeping with the topic, but I just hadda say it
Huggles
Toni-Lynn
--I'm TN (transnationalist) - a Canadian born in an American's body! I stand on guard for thee!
Even so $20.00 for a pair of shoes now is wayyyy cheap. I won't even tell you what I pay for a pair of shoes, but I will tell you....I am worth every red cent!ahhhh, but in 1978 $3 was like $20 now... So, dont think so lucky.. Cause now you can get shoes for $9 if you look hard enough...
Tell who what? I got side tracked by the shoes.
Kel
It never worked with me, so I gave that up the 2nd year I was married..Then I just told her point blank what I would like to have..The usual answer was, it's too expensive or no, I'm on riding the cotton pony this week..LOL
So I always ended up with what I didn't want regardless of what I said, the last time I got a talking fish, the divorce followed soon after..She asked for it, and I gave it to her....LOL
So forget the hints, if someone needs to say something, just say it..
[SIZE=3]Karen[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I really do have the...Right To Be Wrong.. [/SIZE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkSTG...eature=channel [SIZE=2]and my mistakes will make me strong![/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Just call out my name...and I'll come running...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SxTo...eature=related just lovin classic JT again...[/SIZE]
Never dropped any hints...turns out it wasn't necessary anyway because we were divorced after only a couple of years due to other reasons. She wasn't around long enough for it to ever become a concern.
I know I did...
I think of it as softening up the beachhead.
It worked out well for me, but then my wife is pretty smart and pretty open, and a fabulous wife. YMMV.
"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe
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