I have found "dressing" to be like everything else in my life. To the degree it is understood, acknowledged, and accepted, it is a gift.
Freddie calls it "feminine sensibility" above. Yes. I might call it connecting to the feminine energy, which as many of us here have found, can be a very powerful and enlightening experience in so many ways.
The "blessing" is in the appreciation of the experience and all it offers.
Kate
the desire to dress as a female ,while geneticly male ..is truly a curse.the curse of wellness and happyness with your-self.yes their are many downsides to showing your softer side."female' who said a curse has to be unpleasant?iside if you believe that you are violating yourself in any way ,then its time to make a choice "sneak out " time permitted.if its who you are ,you can hid it ,,,,but cant escape.
I identify with you.. to be or not to be.. I can't tell you or anyone else why I like to dress this way.. it's the reason why I am still in the closet.. I'd love to tell everyone that I cross dress but then the questions of why do you do it and all would come forth and my answer would be I don't know.. or they might know more the reason why better than I do..
This is what I mean by "every guy can look like a girl from the right angles".. this is one of the first pictures of me dressed up.. very vague look.. almost fem...
My interest in crossdressing springs from a deep well, a hidden source somewhere within. As male children we are taught to repress any expression of anything remotely feminine. As kids, we rebel, but the expression police are ever vigilant and constantly reminded us how to behave. The sad thing is we internalized the lessons taught by these well-intentioned people to the extent we learn to police ourselves!
Heck, if we step out of line, we are still reminded even as adults!
I believe that this results in a build-up of some kind of energy, if you will, that wishes to express itself. Overtime, I believe the energy deepens and grows stronger. Eventually, a trigger occurs and the person finds expression in some form. For some, this means crossdressing.
Thus, I view crossdressing almost as a symptom of a deeper issue, the repressed feminine trying to manifest.
It can be very overwhelming which frequently manifests as the "pink fog" (been there, done that). It can be very compelling and very prominent in your mind. I have been so captivated by this issue that I have had trouble doing my job.
My intense interest in self-feminization led me to the brink. My logical mind rebelled every inch of the way, it was a very difficult process to endure! My logical mind finally threw in the towel, gave up and basically accepted that I actually, really, truly have a feminine side. Actually, a pretty strong feminine side.
Funny thing is that once I got to that point, the pressure was off, the fog lifted, the compulsion dramatically reduced. It's as if I found the relief value and released all that energy in one big burst. Think of Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein when he loudly exclaims "Yes, Yes!". It was that kind of moment.
I found a new balance and a new joy which I had never felt before. It's hard to explain the feeling, but I know if you have ever felt it or feel it, you will know what I am talking about.
That's why I view crossdressing as a blessing, it led me to this new understanding of myself, this new joy.
-Meri
Central Ohio
[SIZE="3"]Oh, it's definitely a two-edged sword.....it's what you do with it that determines a positive or negative outcome.[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Daenna[/SIZE]
I think it is both. Since it will not go away, I am learning to accept it.
I wouldn't say it's a blessing. It's not really a curse either.
It's never caused me any problems because I have chosen to stay in the closet for the most part (my wife and immediate family know....I can dress whenever I want). I have learned to deal with the emotional aspects of it. I have learned how to balance it in my life. At times it can be an inconvenience. It will take time away from more important things if I let it. It's something I have really enjoyed over the years. Every time I dress is a rewarding experience. It's relaxing and gives me a feeling of contentment.
All that being said, if I was able to choose, I would choose not to have it as part of my life.
a few months ago i would have said that crossdressing is a curse, but now, thinking about what i've done since i found this site and dreaming about what is yet to come.............. i'm starting to feel it more like a blessing.
I think that I'm going to have a lot of fun doing this.
i thank u "gurls" for taking time to respond I have read every reply and it has been very interesting If the wife accepts I would imagine that helps to see it as a blessing If u have to dress alone and secretly then i suppose the "curse " is you need to dress but would love to be accepted . Its strange when you analise it as its "only" clothes and the way society say men wear this and women that Although women wear trousers ,sweaters etc without any problem !
Once I became comfortable with the fact I am a crossdressers I feel blessed.
It isn't only"clothes"
It isn't "only" clothes. If it was you wouldn't be using Lisa-Marie for a name. You would be Harvey Napoleon, guy in a dress. some people here are 24/7 and have a new persona, some are in the closet and just like to slip into something more feely, but in each case there is mental baggage that goes with those choices. Clothing says as much about who we are as who we'd like to be--it is a costume, chosen with care by even the shabbiest dresser. The guy slouching down the street in fatigues is not interested in nursing-I can tell you that much. And, I would bet that Madonna for all her show is probably a closet Catholic conservative--still.
Mandrake out of water
Hi Lisa marie
When we get it figured out we will let you know.
Don't hold your breath wile waiting for an answer.
..............................................than ks......Orchid
I feel it to be both a blessing and a curse and ill explain both in my case
will start with the curse. From a very young age i spent most my time with my grandparent's as my father left and my mom had no choice but to work 10-14 hour's a day manegeing 2 bar's and restarunt's. I loved my grandparent's and i lived for them, ever hear thy will be done. when gender started appearing on the new's slightly late 80's they would comment on how wrong it was witch made me feel bad about my self and i knew i could never tell them as it would cause them pain. Till this day i struggle with the thought of what would they say. would they want me to be happy with my self or conform to what socity want's?
The blessing
From a very young age I felt diffrent then other boy's,and as i grow and learn more about myself I think maybe i can use this curse to help the up coming generations jump the gender hurdel's that for me and many before me were gender wall's. Im not saying that im the spokes person or something. Yes i love my self both in male and female form,and have a greater understanding of thing's i think. Haveing a softer gentaler side is wonderful and that's the blessing for me
Your life is a series of moment's,for each one passed is another one lost.
Yes...
I choose to enjoy the blessing part and ignore the curse part.
No closet is big enough!
Can't it be both?
A horrible terible curse. Iwish there were a cure.
Maureen,
There is a cure, self-acceptance. Once you reach that, the compulsion is gone, cross-dressing becomes a secondary issue.
-Meri
Central Ohio
I hate to say it...
... but it's a curse for me. For what is pleasurable at the time makes me feel ashamed and dirty afterwards. Because of it I'm not even sure I know myself properly, and I want it to go away so I have the happiest and most "normal" relationship with my girlfriend possible. You don't wait your whole life to meet someone this perfect only to have cd'ing looming over your head. I wish I'd never ever gone anywhere near it - while I don't believe that anyone is to blame in particular, in my case I blame myself for not being strong enough to resist the urges all those years ago.
Without a place or a time, but a definate purpose.
i can describe it this way....it saved my life.
Silentone, Don't blame yourself. Cding is the exspression of the feminine part of you. You were born with it and its not something bad that has to be fought or overcome. What you are feeling is societies pressure to conform to it's idea that you are either man or woman, there is no one who has a little of both. Unfortunatly 99% of people conform to what society says they should be instead of being themselves and anyone who doesn't is chastized or condemmed for daring to be different. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are what GOD created and GOD does not make mistakes!
I'd lean more towards it being a curse, since it's mostly a sexual fetish for me. Outside of crossdressing, nothing in my life leans toward being feminine, except watching the occasional spanish soap opera :heehee.: I can't see myself marching in parades or going public and trying to defend cross-dressing. It simply doesn't fit in as a core part of my life right now for me to be passionate about it.
the rapper jay-z wrote an album about his crossdressing, entitled "the blueprint 2: the gift and the curse"
me personally, i certainly wouldn't consider it a blessing at all. i personally haven't gained really anything at all from being a crossdresser...other than some nice undies from time to time..
some very interesting and unexpected answers!It certainly hasn't done me any favours . Wife totally against it so bad start . I have purged like many but it comes back . Maybe there is no answer as in what came firs:brolleyet the chicken or the egg!".gif "Big Roll Eyes")
I guess it can be both depending upon how you accept it and handle it....sure there can be a debate as to if it is or isn't....I suppose...but I'll sit this one out...enjoy...
Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"
i have already answered this question, but i've found a better way to say it
at first you feel cursed and you don't understand why this happens to you
surprised.jpg
but then, after a lot of thinking you stop fighting against it and you decide to accept yourself as you are
acceptance.jpg
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